Till now, inistalk ko parin reddit profile niya using my other account. Considering creating a throwaway account just to message him telling that he still crosses my mind, that I hope he's doing well, he doesn't need to reply, I just want to actually send my unsentletters.
Mababa lang pride ko, kaya kong magpakababa. It's kinda pathetic. Kung isasagad ko na yung kahibangan ko maybe I'll run out of it quicker. I'll dwell on it para mas mabilis ako magsawa. Instead of escaping it but from time to time it creeps in which is annoying. But if I do that, what would it do? Will it help? I don't think so.
He's occasionally posting at r4r and R4Friends. Meanwhile parang I became emotionally unavailable na naman. I'm thinking going to tinder, hindi naman ako makikipagmeet or even makikipagchat. I just want to open my eyes again at how many fish in the ocean. I don't know if this is being too full on myself. I have low and fragile self esteem. Gusto ko lang iredeem. What if I'll go on tinder mag-ipon lang ng dms. Like girl look at these people who find you interesting enough to dm you.
Kaso it won't resolve my issue, kasi the problem is my fucking Social Anxiety Disorder. I guess I was too anxious that I didn't realize I was spoiling the fun. I know I'm not boring, I'm just too afraid to express myself.

Trigger: Disordered Eating, Weightloss and venting.
So before I started medication my appetite was in the pit. My stomach had eventually shrunk due to low mood and stress and I couldn’t eat for a time without feeling sick, I thought I was pregnant but I’m not.
My therapist after trying to ask about it and did some tests said I probably suffer with disordered eating that has been more prevalent due to a collection of personal circumstances and my AuDHD.
But I missed last month’s monthly. Before I even realised my medication was decreased and then put back up when my doctor realised I lost 6lbs in about 2.5 weeks.
After adjusting the medication, and being back on it for a week I’ve taken my weight. In 5 weeks I’ve lost a stone.
I fucking hate having this, it’s just one thing after a-fucking-nother. I was getting better, I was in therapy, I was working through my stuff, trying to heal and then I’ve been thrown a fucking curveball. My eating has always been restrictive but not to this degree and I just feel like I’m never gonna get a break.
It’s not entirely the medication, I can tell it’s the disordered eating but I’m really scared because the medication is working, but I’ve not had my period in 50 days and I’ve gone down a size in clothes. The medication is really helping and I don’t wanna stop taking it but I know it isn’t healthy.
But if I’m not taking it I’m gonna be unmedicated and I don’t wanna go back to that, I’m coping so much better emotionally on it and now my body decides to have something wrong with it.
I’m healthy, I like my body, I’m not allergic to anything, I don’t even have hay fever and I’ve never been under or overweight, I’m active and go gym 2-3 times a week. I’m fine, and now when it’s all going good, this bloody happens.
I’m so done with this. Now I know why my mate says there’s a difference between mental health and being mentally ill.
Edit: also doesn’t help that when my pharmacist did my titration and I told her about the change in medication and prescriber’s concerns she said “I don’t know what you want me to say, it isn’t hard to just eat more”

intro • been counting sheep I try to sleep can’t close my eyes think way too deep
this isn’t real all a bad dream at just 14 grief consumed me
pre chorus• when you died the whole world cried all I could do is keep asking why deny deny getting high to pass the time pretend I’m alright
chorus• you’re an angel way up past the clouds there’s no doubt you’re at peace now
verse 2• -1min- screaming at the world pulling out my hair ?? did it have to be you ? consumed with pain had so much hate I lost my faith drifted astray
pre chorus• took a long time to heal my mind was diagnosed refused the dose still recall all our nights sneaking out real late planning our escape
your memory could never fade always remember your laughing face the way we’d sing like we were on tv with your cowgirl hat and punk rock tee
chorus• you’re an angel up in clouds there’s no doubt you’re at peace now
bridge• lifted me up said I was enough braided my hair blanket forts over chairs
•outro• sometimes at night I stare into the sky I see your face in the moonlight looking down I feel your smile I really miss you friend until we meet again
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/142jcks/lost_love_haiku/jn4urzt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/142h0q3/the_field_of_lust/jn4uu79/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3

For those of us who strive to follow responsible gardening practices, it can be a devastating realization to find jumping worms in our garden beds. It was for me. Now there is a word for this: Solastalgia, the stress caused by environmental change. This article by Angela Gupta, UMN Extension Forester, describes it well and includes some helpful links.
Emotions Matter: Even when Dealing With Jumping Worms

My players eventually won, but they got the shit kicked out of them. Ghost Caradoc's withering touch is absolutely brutal. Especially against level 5 characters. It's already a +7 to hit, does 2d10+4 damage and he can do it twice in a row lol. And that's AFTER you defeat Knight Caradoc.
He used it on the teams most powerful caster in the group, a sorcerer, and rolled two crits for a total of around 47 points of damage in one go. That put him down instantly. The paladin was able to successfully use Turn Undead to get Caradoc away and after two failed death saves he was finally able to reach the sorcerer and use spare the dying.
The druid managed to keep Caradoc at bay by keeping him moving to avoid her moonbeam while the Eldritch Knight Fighter used Witch Bolt on him. They did that long enough for the sorcerer to get back into the fight, but then Caradoc was able to possess the Fighter and almost massacred the druid and sorcerer again before the Paladin put her down. The druid and the sorcerer then had to take turns distracting Caradoc so the Paladin could THEN use Spare the Dying on the Fighter. During this time Caradoc succeeded on EVERY Bound Haunting charisma save roll lol (it helps when you have +4 to your charisma)
Caradoc failed his next two possession attempts the group popped some health potions and the Paladin was finally able to take him down with flurry of blows from his Warhammer + divine smite.
By the end of the fight, everybody was out of spell slots, barely had any health left and as players, were emotionally drained lol
A particularly humorous moment was after the Paladin used Spare the Dying on the Sorcerer, the Druid used Healing Word to give him some health back, Caradoc used Divisive whisper on the Sorcerer, (who failed the roll and had to make a melee attack on the Paladin), so after he got revived he slapped him in the face. It reminded us of this scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom: https://youtu.be/woTgiHdA8c4

I use big 4 patterns exclusively because they are the only ones which can be found in spotlight and will go on discount in certain times of the year. I, know big 4 probably has slightly more quality control than indie patterns, so I would think the patterns are generally alright. I'm fairly new to sewing, so havent dabbled into much, but I sewed the McCall's 8213 recently and noticed that the ease was insane, not very sure why it seemed more fitting on the fitting envelope (Probably due to my inexperience in reading patterns too).
I know there was another thread on awful patterns that have been published but seems like it was mostly indie patterns because I would think there's a higher chance of them being awful.
But I'm just curious if anyone has encountered big 4 sewing patterns which had errors or just turned out nothing like how the picture/drawings looked?
Edit to add: I highly doubt my experience with McCall's 8213 was due to the pattern's fault because I've seen great reviews on it and I'm a very new sewist who has a lot more to learn! I also know that patterns have to be adjusted at times to fit our individual body types.

In my opinion this incarnation of link and Zelda had it the hardest They trained their whole life for something only to fail at it and witness the horror of the clamity Link sacrificed his life for Zelda And dies Zelda gets to see that sacrificed so she sacrificed her freedom link wakes up and has to remember that he failed and his friends are dead and has to go take down the divine best and blights who killed his friends when Zelda is free she gets to see the destruction of the calamity in botw zelda and link is now living with the fact that everyone is dead because of them and is 100 years ahead of their Time and in tears of the kingdom link fought gloom to protect Zelda but loss his arm in the process and Zelda but was so close to catching her you can hear his gasp and the way his hand move it hurt him And Zelda goes to the past and finally finds a parent figure but that gets crushed and is traumatized and fights of the demon king but and she sacrifice her self and link sees all that has traumatized in thinking he lost the love of his life and face off against the gloom monsters that can kill him in a hit and face of And face off against the demon king and I think he looks absolutely pissed when doing so this is my favorite incarnation of link and Zelda they are both so heroic

To give a bit of background information, I had a fling with this guy who I was close friends with and who was my plug. I know everyone says not to date your plug, but we clicked the instant we met and we genuinely had real feelings for one another. For the sake of anonymity, I'll call this guy Dave. So Dave and I were seeing each other for a few months up until we had a huge falling out. Basically, I was in the midst of the worst depressive episode I've ever had when we first met. Meanwhile, he was dealing with his own traumatic past and it caught up with both of us and we couldn't really handle it. Things turned ugly when I introduced him to my friends and when we had a falling out, my friends chose him over me, creating a lot of resentment from both parties. I was heartbroken for months that my friends I've known for years chose someone they've known for a couple of months because of lies and manipulation. As a result, we stopped talking altogether, and I had no support system. I ended up having to stay in a hospital for a couple of days after that happened. I decided to get back together with my on and off again ex boyfriend of four years, since he was truly the only one to help me out of my depression after my friends abandoned me for Dave. Now, my partner and I are extremely happy and in a much healthier place, and are even moving into an apartment together in a few weeks. We both started therapy and are taking steps to build a future for ourselves, that I never thought I would have. While we're sorting out moving stuff, I decided to call Dave and ask him about a few things I left at his house way back in the winter. I wanted to see about getting them back, but when we talked on the phone, he was in a lot of distress. He's had issues with the law before, but that's expected given his profession. But to be honest, hearing about the horrific turn his life has taken since we stopped talking has absolutely shaken me. During this phone call, which ended up lasting two hours, he admitted to me how sorry he was for creating a wedge between my friends and I and that he felt responsible for taking away my support system when I needed it, just out of pettiness. He also told me that he was in a dark place and using drugs, picking fights with strangers, and was under investigation for fraud. As a result, his family doesn't really speak to him anymore. He told me that I was the first person he's opened up to about it and that he trusted me more than anyone else. I didn't really know how to handle hearing any of this, so I started crying. I felt horrible and guilty, thinking that if I hadn't cut him off, maybe his life wouldn't have turned upside down. I should also mention that during this phone call, when I started telling him about how good things had been and how happy I was after my "hospital visit", he started doing drugs while on the phone. He told me that if I had been honest with him about my feelings, he would've asked me to be his girlfriend and basically told me he loved me. My boyfriend thinks he's manipulating me and trying to get me to feel sorry for him. But if any of what he said is true and he really might be going to jail, I genuinely don't know how how I'll be able to handle it. I haven't heard back from him since and still haven't received my things. I'm not really sure where to go from here. Am I just being manipulated again?

I was actually doing really well after my ex hoovered and I resisted it and blocked him. The way he was begging and crying turned me off and all the processing/all the time I spent on this sub beforehand kicked in and was nagging at me to never talk to this person again. Blocking him was easy afterwards.
Then…about a month later, aka a week ago, I ran into his ex in a truly random setting, and said I recognized her through mutual friends. She said oh you must know my partner, [exwBPD’s name]! I asked her if they’re still dating and she said yes, with a tone and look as if I was crazy for even asking.
My life flashed before my eyes. I was told they broke up 5 months ago. I called my exwBPD sobbing and he denied it of course. He even sent me screenshots to “prove” they were really broken up, even tho some of the screenshots were heavily cropped, lmao. I can’t. We talked for hours and hours and I stood my ground when he was throwing a tantrum like a little baby and begging for me back, promising it would be totally different this time and saying he couldn’t believe I would ever “give up” on building trust in the relationship now, when it could truly be “totally different”. He would act so kind for most of the conversation but then when it came time for him to start with the begging, it was scary, like a switch flipped in his eyes and he became scary and psycho really. And he became mean. On the one hand this conversation was cleansing because I told him off for all the fucked up things he did, like every single time in the relationship that he hurt me. But in the other hand I am now just so devastated. He also let it slip that he took screenshots of me during our sex FaceTimes that he never asked me to take. They are really vulnerable photos of me during times when I thought it was just me and him, but now he has them in some hidden folder on his phone. I made him show me all the photos right away and delete them and he was like “ok one sec before I show you I just have to delete some ugly photos of me first”…lmao…LIE. Obviously there were photos of other girls. The whole thing makes me fucking sick. When I close my eyes all I can think about is the fact that he was with his ex this whole time. Even if they’re broken Up, there is a girl out there who thinks otherwise. I’m sick to my stomach to think of the labyrinth of lies that went on behind my back to get us to this point. And the naked photos. I stood strong against his crying and begging and ended up blocking him so he’s out of my life now.
This was an unimaginable set back and I feel so much less healed than I did before. It feels never ending and it feels grotesque that this person ever entered my life and took advantage of me to this degree.
I could really use some kind words and support and encouragement because none of my friends understand what I’ve been through. It feels like I’m never going to be ok. Please ❤️

Hi. I am 31yo male. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and social anxiety. I was always prescribed SSRI's, although it worked great for irritability, anger and depression, it did not help with social anxiety, made me very numb, sedated, careless and unmotivated, even with half of the lowest dose. So I stopped taking then after a few months each time. I felt better without SSRI's but depression and irritability kept coming back, I had daily fatigue as well, no matter if I'm on SSRI's or not.
I went to another provider who suggested that I try Wellbutrin just to see how it works on me, which I am taking only a week now. He also prescribed 25mg Zoloft (lowest dose available). I felt Wellbutrin the first day I took it. I got a lot of energy and felt like myself again. It gets better every day. I sleep well and wake up fresh even with 6h sleep, where I had extreme issues with waking up even after 10h sleep. I feel like my mind is clear and I don't have the brain fog anymore. The only side effect that I experienced the first 3 days was sore musles, leg cramps and back pain, but it stopped suddenly.
However, since I started taking it, my body started showing some anxiety issues such as tics (shaking legs, clearing throat, moving fingers, blinking). I had these before when I was a child during a stressful time but it stopped, then I just had these occasionally and was able to control it. It got worse on Wellbutrin. It really makes me sad since my mental is doing great on it.
Just to add, I think I also have undiagnosed Inattentive ADHD. The only sympton that doesn't match is overlooking details, because I am very detail oriented and always pay close attention to details, noticing any change. I am also a perfectionist and don't do thing spontaneously without overthinking them and checking a lot of different sources before doing something, I feel like I need to know it all. At childhood, I was a very shy and stressed out kid, in early school I spent most time with teachers or alone, not having too many friends. It changed in middle school when I became very outgoing with my friends around. Although, I've never came to the board or any public speech, I avoided these at every occasion. I consider myself to be an introvert, changing into an extravert when alcohol is involved, thats why I cannot have fun without getting buzzed when going out. Now, I still avoid these, I do not speak out when more then 1 or 2 people can hear me, overthink before saying anything, speak too fast when stressed and too slow when not stressed, am always late etc. To add, I bite my nails excessively for over 20 years, cannot control it, if that matters. It seems that I've got symptoms of ADHD and anxiety + depression together.
Wellbutrin really does help with getting myself together and functioning normally. I am not feeling stimulating, euphoric or energized, I just feel normal, without getting fatigued or brain fog. Only thing is that I feel like my body needs to be in move all the time, which is showing as tics. I would love to get more energized and motivated to surpass how I feel normally (when not depressed), without having tics.
Here some of the symptoms which I am struggling with:

• Depression: feeling sad and empty, no pleasure, oversleeping, fatigue, irritability, slow thinking
  
• Anxiety: overthinking, worrying too much, panic attacks when someone bothers me with too many questions, low self esteem, oversweating
  
• Social anxiety: mind going blank when too much attention on me, sweating, panic attacks when someone bothers me with too many questions, unavailable to give public speech, anxious about answering a phone call, fear of humiliation, having hard time talking to people I that I not very close to me, hard to make eye contact or relax when talking with someone
  

OCD (undiagnosed): avoid risks, fear of making mistake, perfectionism, overthinking, attention to small details, rechecking, need of googling everything I hear but don't know the answer
Inattentive ADHD (undiagnosed): losing stuff, forgetful, turning mind off, easily sidetracked, trouble organizing, trouble staying on topic, indecision, shy, starting new projects and not completing them, feeling of needing to do something new, clumsiness, always late, nervous tics, unable to work without having another stimulant such as music or listening to podcasts
TLDR: Having depression, anxiety, social anxiety. I think I also have inattentive ADHD and OCD. All SSRI's made me sedated and unmotivated. Was prescribed Wellbutrin SR 150mg to test it out along with Zoloft 25mg. Feeling very good, mind is fresh, no depression or negative thoughts. I am however getting tics and feel like my body needs to move. Had tics as a child for around a year or two, it stopped, just had some of these on some occasions but it was controlable.

• Has anyone experienced increased ticking? Did it go away?
  
• Do you think I should try Adderall or Vyvanse instead of Wellbutrin?
  
• Do you think I might have inattentive ADHD?
  

Of the lot of things I let behind evangelical Christianity, the rapture is still something that freaks me the fuck out. When I was a child I used to have so much nightmares about this because I thought that I wasn't pure or worthy enough (I had a crippling porn addiction and nobody knew it but God did) and now that I am moving towards atheism, I feel like a burden went away but I am still afraid of the rapture. I mean atheism is apart of "the other side", Satan's side and I truly don't want to be with those who suffer in the fire with him
Not too much related but there's even a "end times" flair !?! I love this sub so much it's like I found my people

I have BPD so I’m always seeing shadow people. Recently it’s gotten to the point where I see one shadow person all the time. He glitches from gray to black. His eyes and mouth are black holes and he wear a top hat. I’ve noticed he’s been getting closer to me. For example I was at the movie theater and he was lingering behind me, when I sat down he stood a few seats down in front of me. About a week ago he came to me in my room. He walked over to me but I can never see his legs. I’ve been going through a really rough time with self harming. It was like he was talking to me but without moving his mouth. Sort of like he was in my brain knowing and feeling my emotions. I told him I was running out of room to cut. Which then he replied I have a whole canvas. I don’t know what this means but I’m terrified. I’ve tried talking to people but no one takes me serious really. I’ve seen other shadow people but nothing to this extent. He feels very evil and dark and I can look at him in the face. Other shadow people have never let me see them head on. When I look at him his face distorts to a man with blood running from his eyes and mouth. He looks like he’s hurting. How do I get him to leave me alone?

As most of accounting grads go to either audit or tax, I had started as an external auditor right out of college and I got fed up with constant back and forth between my boss and client and me acting as an intermediary as I found it very unproductive, so I decided to switch to internal audit thinking it might be less of that problem and it is the same. It’s been only 5 months since I started but I’m thinking of jumping a ship to accounting route as that was what got me into accounting school originally. I need to go through medical procedures which will take about a month to recover so I might have to do a “gap month” unless I find an employer who can wait 1~2 months before I start. Anyone went through the same career path and never looked back to audit?

I like this boy and I don't know if he likes me back. I moved to a new school in February and haven't talked to this boy since. I get weird signals from him but i might be overthinking it bc I like him. Him and this girl used to text alot. Apparently she confessed to him last year but he rejected her but they still texted according to her. My first or second month at the new school the girl came up to me and asked me who I liked. She said that he had made a bet with her on me which I found was odd. I didn't say him bc I didn't really like him at the time. The second weird moment was when that girl came up to me and said. The boy told me that you keep looking at him, do you like him? I definitely was not looking at him. Again i didn't really have feelings for him at the time so I found it odd. In class sometimes I catch him looking at me. Before arm wrestling someone he looks at me. I used to live overseas in Qatar and most people mistake it for dubai. I've gotten used to it so im not too bothered when people say I lived in dubai. One of the older students in my school asked me if I lived in dubai and I just nodded my head bc I didn't really care. The boy I like spoke up and said, she lived in Qatar not dubai. Last week, the girl told me that she and the boy stopped talking. He told her that he didn't even want to be friends anymore Idk what to do. Advice please

Hiya, just got back from Spain last night, and now here to write my review of my experience at the Spanish GP. Gonna try to divide in sections in case you are looking for something in specific:
-Travel to and from the Circuit: I stayed in Barcelona near a station with the R2 route. Each way was about 2.4 euros I believe, but when asked at the cashier she told me I was better off buying the Abono that lasts up until end of August for 10 euros, so I got that and that's how I traveled to Montmelo station, it also takes you to the airport if you are traveling so you don't pay the 16 euro of the shuttle bus like I did when I got there lol. From Montmelo to Gate 3-4 you will walk 35-40 minutes, but you will see a lot of people and will not feel unsafe at any time of the day. I left early every day (before 9 am) and the train was not busy, however on Sunday, the only day I left at 5 (post race), the line stretched long and it was hot so I decided to just stay in Montmelo and eat, I got to the train after 7:40 PM as the line was now non existent.
-Race grounds: Personally, I felt the place was small (compared to Silverstone and COTA) but its an F1 track, it's still huge and will beat your legs after walking for 3 days. The fan zone is by the Main Grandstand and was smaller than the one at COTA and USGP, and also felt very packed in there during the driver talks. They said water stations would be available so I was expecting water booths like the ones you see at festivals with 15+ available rows, but it was literally just a single water station that only takes a bottle each time like the ones at an airport, which was pretty funny to see because of how huge F1 is. This is something the track needs to work on imo.
-Food: I was actually surprised at how slim the selection was. Their food truck row had 3 food trucks. Food was near the same every section, hot dogs, burgers, sandwiches, and maybe 2 or 3 "specialty" vendors but the food section IMO was lacking big big time.
-Spotting the F1 drivers: Now here's something that is very important for me lol. I go to concerts, film fests, so trying to get close to artists to get sigs is something I enjoy. At F1 is very hard nowadays because the fan zone stage is just a 10 min talk and not an autograph signing session anymore. For Barcelona, the parking for the drivers is past a gated area so you can see them drive in but none of them will stop, only few drivers I saw roll down was Sainz, Leclerc, Ocon, and I did see Checo take a selfie with a fan, but it is not guaranteed and sincerely it's dangerous because you see crowds stopping their cars lol.
-F2 and F3: Now here's why I try to go to EU once a year. I enjoy F2/F3 more than F1 nowadays, so this was my main plate. On Friday I found out the drivers park outside and then walk or shuttle to their paddock. I asked twice here if it was possible to meet them that way but was told they drive in to the paddock like the F1 people so I didn't print anything to get signed :/. They are all very happy to take a pic and sign. It was funny I would stop to talk to some of these drivers, others would see me and ask a pic and then they would ask me who they were lol. It was INSANE to me how there would be 40-50 people on the other side of the street waiting to see the F1 drivers ignore them as they drive by and completely ignore drivers like Ollie Bearman and Sophia Floersch who would walk in front of them to get to the entrance lol.
-F1 Experiences: This is my second F1 Experiences purchase. I did a Hero package last year at Silverstone, and absolutely loved it. However, F1 Experiences do have several areas they need to raise their game.
For Spain, I had the Trophy package, which is the same as the Hero but your 3-day pass will be on a different grandstand. You get a pitlane, a ride on the flatbed trucks around the circuit, photos with the trophies and an event, typically called Live on the Grid or Inside F1. So for the pitlane, this was early, at like 3:30 PM, so unlike Silverstone where it was at like 6 PM, we actually saw all the garages open and the teams doing work/training. The flatbed truck is fun because you just get to go around the track and learn about it from an expert.
Now, what areas do they need to raise their game at?
(1) Inside F1. This was nowhere near as good as live on the grid. This took place at the Champions Club and there were so many of us it was so hard to move around. For this event, there are no cars, no sims, nothing, you just see the invited guests go and do an interview and then they proceed to leave. Live on the Grid is 1000x times better.
F1 Experiences staff is top game when it comes to their attention to customers and hospitality. However, the areas where they need to improve are all involving delivery of the package. It takes them AGES to ship these, and when a lot of us travel from out of country or continent to these races, getting these badged shipped just 10 days (sometimes they are even slower) before the thursday event is insane. I buy VIP packages for concerts very often from VIP Nation, CID, Future Beat, and none of them ship stuff so late. Not only that, but when you choose to pick up on-site, don't expect it to be at the track like with festivals or concerts, F1 Experiences are always in some remote location far away from the track. At Silverstone they were in a place like 50 minute walk away from the entrance to the track, so not only you had to get a taxi to go there, but also a taxi to get to the track, and at Silverstone where there is no Uber, it was hard to do so. For Spain, they were at a hotel nearby where no buses or trains can drop you off, so you had to get a taxi from the train station (20 euro) and then a taxi from their hotel to the track (25 euro). IF you are in luck, you will meet fans at the hotel lobby down to split the taxi (which I did), but in this day and age, where F1 Experiences only have to ship a simple lanyard which they probably print in batches at the beginning of the year, it is insane how bad they are with delivering it. Everything else? A+, but because of how inconvenient this was I would give them just 4 stars. I talked to other people and they all felt the same way as I did.
​
If there is anything you need to know please comment. i had to write this quick as I am at work lol.

Date started: 8/14/2022
Date watched: 6/5/2023
Review
#wcmovielibrary Movie 171.
No idea if I’ve seen this
Vanessa Williams IS in this
Let me reiterate: VANESSA. WILLIAMS.
Also Ahnold
And the guy from Las Vegas
Who is a fine actor but I can’t understand how/why he got a whole tv show about owning a casino
K. Todd Freeman! Tony Stark’s dad (older version)! Uncle Ewan!
Oh dear
Oh James Caan was in The Godfather
Clearly I’ve never seen it
Nick Chinlund!
I’m not paying super close attention
Some overlaps with other Schwarzenegger films
We lost her 🤷‍♂️
Oh no DOUBLE CROSS
That was an absolutely ABSURD plane fight/parachute scene
Complete nonsense, very gripping
Not totally sure about a face-off in the zoo
This movie uses CGI in a very quirky way
Can’t have a 1996 movie without a drag show!
Very good, big fan
Cheeseball movie
X-Files would have done this so much better and in a third of the time
More overlaps
3 out of 5 stars

Dear you,
I hope you like this homemade (w)rap. I've been cooking it up all morning, probably while you were still snoring... I'm no rapper, but you said you dislike poetry. I wanted to channel my sassy energy, I'm not that mad at you. This was a fun exercise though! Bon appetit:

Ghosted

Ghosting without voting, to leave this all behind? You're the man, shoulda known you'd screw up my mind.
I trusted ya. Thought maybe I was the one for ya. Boy, I can get four of ya!
One step forward, two steps back. At this rate, we'll never get back on track. Honestly, I'd rather you break my back. Smack.
Thought you were different, but now you're indifferent. Fuck, this shit hits different.
You like that Eminem shit? Makes you free your mind? Well, you're listening to my rap, so let me speak my mind.
Congratulations, you've lost me. Say hi to the ghost of me. Betcha wish you made the most of me!
"It's not you, it's me... let's just leave it be."
Out of sight, out of mind? Is that how you've made up your mind? I don't mind. Won't run and hide. Guess this shit was all in my mind.
Tick tock, you just wanted to fuck. Big bluff. I hate that I gave two fucks.
And so it goes, boys are hoes, always thinking 'bout their bros. Burn the hope, inhale the smoke, maybe do some more coke?
Drink the pain, jump off a train? No, that'll leave a stain.
Bruised and broken, you still cut me open. You ain't no surgeon. Just an insurgent. Know your place. Stop fucking being fake! You see now, what's at stake?
​
Sincerely,
your ghostee <3

​
Been thinking about this following on the from the recent Elgin = Ellis and Fatima's son theory thats been doing the rounds. it would have to go down like baby/young Elgin is somehow transported from Fromville, possibly via a faraway tree, to a past time period; then raised by someone, maybe someone who tells him that they are his grandmother (i don't think we've heard Elgin mention his parents yet have we?), and then finds himself on the bus in 'present day' and ending up in Fromville. This would account for any memories/dreams he has of the place, as well as his heroics for Ellis when he was stabbed, driven by an unconscious bias towards saving his future dad.
From reading the sub though i don't think the travel travel theories are particularly well liked. i also wondered if the voice on the radio was actually from a Fromville resident in the future, maybe Randall, warning Jim about Tabitha digging under the house as he knew it would collapse and lead to the deaths, rather than it being a warning from a nefarious 'watcher'
The other time travel theory is that Boyd met Martin in the distant past, before returning the the 'ruins' of the building in the present after he left him
However, we do know that time in Fromville passes at the same rate as time outside of Fromville, as Marielle says
Re-watching the series, i noticed in series 1 Ep2 where jade is strapped to the bed, that one the colony house girls comments on how nice his watch his before being warned off by Ellis i think. the girl then says something like 'its not like it will do him any good here', which i didn't think anything of first time round but then wondered if it meant something more. do we know if any of the clocks change times in the scenes we have seen?
Are there any other subtle or overt time based references in the show? Obviously the dates are important
dunno how i feel about it, i prefer it to the simulation theory, any way just wanted chuck it out there!

First I want to give back after all the support I received on my post last week to decide when to euthanize. Here’s a link back if it can help anyone else: When to Euthanize. Thank you to everyone for the advice. It was so so helpful and she did let me know when it was time and I felt at peace with my decision. I contacted lap of love and they were so sweet and helpful but ultimately I had to run her to my vet. Although these people see it all the time, they were so sweet in consoling me as I apologized for being a blubbering mess. I held her as they administered the shots as I absolutely couldn’t leave her alone. This being my first time, I found it jarring how fast everything happened and when they lifted up her body after she passed. I would never not be with her though. I believe I picked the right time to let her go to minimize suffering. I spoiled her the last few days by taking her outside and giving her some people food proteins. Last night was so hard because she slept on my pillow every night. Every sound I would hope it was her jumping up to snuggle and forgot she was gone. She visited me in my dreams. Thank you all for making such a hard time just a bit easier. RIP Thumbs

For years I “knew” I was bi and never once cried. It’s been months since I first seriously considered I might ace and I spendnmost nights crying and mourning the life I could have had.
How did you know you were ace? How do I know I’m not wrong?