I hate las cruces

Just tell me yes or no when I ask you out. Is this so hard to do???!!!!! Instead i get, "i will consider it" and "mhm". like wtf just say no. just basic politness. hating the uncertainty.

So I’ve been out as non-binary for a few years now, but my gender expression has been largely passive. I just never felt like one gender or the other really, though I have always related better to men and mostly had male friendships. And all of my physical relationships (mostly) have been with men.
Since coming out, I’ve felt like a fake queer, and a fake enby, and definitely not worthy of calling myself trans, because all of my experience seems to keep me in the role of a woman, and I haven’t made any transitions really, even mentally. I’ve been confused as to why I’m not making connections with queer women and why I’m still connecting with cis men. I thought it was because of compulsory hetero bs (probably somewhat is) but now I’m like, am I transmasc and gay for men? I’ve always felt like I liked certain men in a gay way, and those men I really connected with definitely gave bi vibes.
Now it seems obvious, every quirk I’ve ever had just seems so transmasc. But I don’t want to be a man. I don’t want to be a woman. I just want to be myself. I need hormone therapy for PCOS and PMDD, but I’ve always been almost proud of having a higher testosterone count. I don’t really want my hormones to be more balanced in a womanly way. So now with all of this, I’m thinking about T for the first time in my life.
And what about boobs? They’re small and I’ve never hated them. Am I transmasc enough if I dont take T and dont get top surgery? Or if I opt for one and not the other? I don’t wanna pass as a man I just don’t wanna pass as a ma’am either >.<
I’m not really here seeking answers necessarily, I just don’t have anyone to talk to about this that shares my experience, and I have to tell someone besides my therapist shrugs

For starters, no, i am not hating on his “streaming career”, or at least that’s what he calls it. He relentlessly streams 3-4 times a week to 0-2 viewers at the most, thinking he’ll make it big eventually. He’s a variety streamer who is not engaging with the audience, plays fairly old and boring games, and if anyone has any friends that do something similar you’d know exactly what i’m talking about.
We used to play games with each other daily over the past couple of years, but he’s decided to randomly stop playing with me all together last month to “focus on his streaming career”. Ive popped in a bunch and never seen more than 2 viewers at a time. He is wasting his time with giant hopes of becoming the next huge streamer. We rarely talk anymore because of how much he streams, then works, then sleeps.
What can i do?

I 17m am dying. Got lung cancer due to being around smokers all my life and constantly breathing it in, I've never smoked and ironically everyone who smoked is in near perfect health, funny isn't it. Got diagnosed a few months ago when i started coughing up blood. Unfortunately it's been found so late that my options are brutal chemo that might not work, or to just let it happen. After a fight with my family I choose to let it happen, I might not survive chemo I might as well try to live put whatever time I have left normally. I don't want to suffer for a small chance to live
I've been in school because if I'm gonna die I'm at least gonna graduate junior year first. I'd like to add that outside of my family, no one knows of my cancer. One of my friends who I made this year asked to speak to me after class. When I did they asked me if I wanted to go on a date with them, I was stunned, not only because I had a crush om this person but because they had asked me out, they had told me before not to get the wrong idea about our friendship. I said I would think about it. And went away, later when at home and in bed I was thinking about what happened then I did something I regret.
I sent not only that friend but my other friends (fortunately a small list) mean and angry messages basically saying I hated then and regretted being friends, it was all spontaneous I don't want them to grieve me, I don't want to do that to them, it's better if they hate me right? Then they won't be sad when I'm gone. I blocked them all and I haven't heard from them since. Cried for like a full hour after, my mom tried to check on me buy I just ignored her. I feel like a piece of shit but I need to know if I did the right thing

I just want to start out by saying I'm not violent or going to fly off the handle and hurt anyone, but I recently went through some trauma and I'm continuously getting triggered out of a blue sky.
I get angry and I hate it. I was almost never an angry person before this.
It's trauma that can't be resolved if that makes a difference here.
I'd just like to know if this is common?
Are there any tips or strategies to deal with this?

I just can’t. I’m taking 10 mg Hydrocortisone daily which isn’t much I know but my endocrinologist says it’s enough and when i say it isn’t he says I should take 15 mg which is like a fucking joke but that isn’t the problem.
I just can’t deal with AI anymore, I never have energy for anything after school and because of that I’m only laying around cause school was already stressful enough. Although my mom is very understanding of my AI other then my dad, even she keeps saying when I’m arguing about my problems that I can’t even really do anything against my weight gain she just says I’m lazy. Am I just f lazy? I believe not, every small physical activity like speeding up the stairs cause your to late for class already triggers brain fog etc and I’m on the border to actually feeling tired, exhausted etc. And then comments like “you could do sport if you just wanted to “ are very hurting cause even after playing just dance or doing a workout I am feeling like shit after a really short time. And considering that I have no stamina cause I didn’t do sport cause of AI making me feel like shit and how low I would need to start with like 5 minutes of squats or something with no visible achievements for at least 2 years doesn’t give me motivation to even start considering that I lack all energy and motivation after school.
This all causes excessive weight gain and I already was borderline chubby before my diagnosis, also I have problems with eating way to big meals cause I’m never full and my BMI is fucking 24.9 (F,16, 167cm, 69,5kg) I just f hate this life. Like if the constant bullying because of my weight isn’t enough. I fucking hate this body but also feel powerless changing anything, like forced to be lazy fat and ugly just because I was unlucky with my genes to get AI. I’m diagnosed since 2019 and still can’t deal with it properly, if I ever will. Every day is so stressful and yet so empty cause school is full with stuff I need to function for and at home doing absolutely nothing.
No one fucking believes me cause on the outside I look fine, act fine, get good grades. What I need to do more for it then any other “normal” person and how much it’s slowly destroying me the constant stress that’s something no one sees or understands.
I just want this suffering to end. I’m hopeless. Is there even something to make it better cause medication will never just solve everything that’s a fact I know. Only thing it does is toning the symptoms a tiny bit down so I don’t vomit etc after extreme sport but I also just don’t Sport at all anymore

Debating on if the pro is worth the extra cost or not, been using the ender 3 V2 for a while and really enjoying it. But want to get something with a bigger bed. I found somebody selling these 2 printers for pretty cheap vs MSRP and wondering if the pro is worth an extra $150 over the non-pro. I keep hearing a ton of hate for the cr-10 smart and not sure if I should get it or get the pro?

Hi everyone.
To Kill a Predator is a work of fan fiction set in the Nature of Predators universe originally created by SpacePaladin15 whose Patreon you should subscribe to.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Depiction does not equal endorsement.
Hope you enjoy it!
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Memory transcription subject: Thiva, Venlil Civilian
Date [standardized human time]: December 6th, 2136
​
Thank the Protector for Vilek.
She had stepped up in every possible way. She coached me on the right answers to give to the assessors. She worked with a Krakotl named Jarkim to keep the Exterminator’s office at bay. And she took care of answering questions from a reporter named Sharnet that reached out to me since both the humans who contacted her, mister Sinclair and Martin, had fallen prey to the Liberators.
This was the paw where I got to leave the hospital. My injuries were actually quite minor (or so they claimed), but they had kept me under observation for several paws to see if I’d display Predator Disease after everything that happened. There was a real risk that after all that, after what Martin sacrificed for me, I’d just end up in a Facility.
At first I thought I probably should be. I was happy that Renak was dead, and I wanted Vansi to die too. For the first couple of paws just thinking about being tied in that chair with Renak whistling and leaning over me with his knife and claws and teeth… it made me shake and scream, once even until I soiled myself.
Thinking about what Vansi had done to Martin made me shriek with anger and throw things and tear curtains. Vilek had stayed by my side though, and helped cover up the incidents each time. Without her I’d be in a Facility for sure.
Then she got me in contact with a human assessor over video calls, a man named doctor Johan Eriksson with ice-blue eyes and a lot of yellow fur all over his face. And just as Martin had promised, Johan was aghast at hearing about the Federation’s treatment of Predator Disease. Johan promised me that my feelings were entirely normal, and that he’d help me work through everything.
​
I’ve had three calls with him since then, and while every one of them ended with me in tears I always felt better afterwards. He was teaching me a system called ‘Mindfulness’. By examining my own emotions and surroundings in a neutral way, it was possible for me to significantly reduce the symptoms! And it was working, it really was. I was more able to manage my emotions. I could recognize when the world was fading into a furious orange or horrid gray, and pull myself back from the brink.
And he said there were other coping strategies to use too, that he’d be providing me with all the tools I needed to grow myself like a garden: Pruning the bad parts, watering the good, and planting the seeds of the sort of person I wanted to grow into.
The humans love their metaphors! But this one was rather beautiful, so I didn’t mind. I quite liked to imagine myself as a garden! But not the ones on Venlil Prime. One of the ones on Earth. Johan had showed me pictures. So full of different colors, dozens of types of insects, so many birds… an explosion of life and color and joy!
That’s the kind of garden I wanted to be. Someday.
​
Coming back home was tough. Not just because I had to pick between being woozy from painkillers or aching with all the little motions of daily life (I had settled on being woozy), but also because of all the little reminders.
Vilek had pressured the landlord into replacing the front door, but the new color reminded me of the break-in. The door to Martin’s room was entirely absent. Martin was entirely absent.
I didn’t feel safe sleeping in my bed. Vilek let me share hers. I woke up crying and feeling her claws stroking through my fur to comfort me.
I was grateful, truly grateful, for my friend. But she wasn’t the one I wanted to hold me.
A claw later I screamed when the pad rang for a phone call, and had to sit and do my mindfulness exercises while Vilek answered it.
She hung up in a hurry and rushed over to me and grasped my paw. “Thiva, we have to get to the hospital! Right now!”
​
---
​
Memory transcription subject: Martin Russo, Human Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: December 11th, 2136
​
I am in more pain than at any other point in my entire life.
Every single part of my being hurts on a level so deep I can feel it in my soul, and I don’t even believe those exist.
My tears are flowing freely and shamelessly. My mouth is open and my drool tastes alkaline, my throat trying to shield itself from the vomit that’s threatening to flow forth.
Taking a single step requires more willpower than I can even wrap my head around. Every single muscle has to be tensed manually, my brain simply refuses to pass the ‘walk’ signal to the body. My shaking limbs move in slow motion, like wading through thick non-Newtonian fluid. Like an arthritic, decrepit old man.
And always that voice. That fucking voice. That fucking voice I need to shut it up I hate you I hate you so much I hate you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
​
“Good job, Martin! One more step, c’mon, you can do it! Gold star!”
“fuck you… fuck you… fuck you… fuck you…” The mantra helps me manage the last step, before I collapse. First to my knees, then down to my hands. Then onto my face, on the soft and spongy floor.
Chasa, my Zurulian arch-nemesis, pads over to me fearlessly and sits down. She licks a paw before stroking it through my hair, giving me a cowlick. “Great job! I can tell you’ve been doing your exercises! Good boy!”
I can’t move my limbs right now. “hate you. hate you so much.”
She pads over to a small teddy bear-sized table and holds up my medical file. She’s had it printed out on actual paper with an actual manila folder, just for this purpose. “That’s fine! You don’t hate the gold star, though, do you?”
“…that’s for children…”
“Oh, so you don’t want it?”
I growl as menacingly as I can. It’s not particularly impressive. She holds up the little gold star sticker and wags it at me, before placing it on my file. She doesn’t seem particularly afraid of me. Though to be fair, even though she weighs maybe 20 kilos soaking wet she could probably take me in a fight.
Chasa looked up human physical therapy before taking on my case, and apparently learned about this incentive system… someplace. Each session she gives me a gold star if I manage to go above and beyond. I hate it. It’s infantilizing, condescending, and juvenile. And it works. I want the gold star. This is my fifth fucking physical therapy session and I want my fifth fucking gold star. It’s the least she can do after she makes me torture myself.
“Fantastic work! Alright, so after third-meal I want you to try and walk around your bed. Back and forth, as many times as you can. And remember to rotate your arm!”
“ah, i see. you hate me too.”
Chasa looks immensely happy and pleased as a couple of Venlil nurses get me onto a too-small gurney. She takes a little sugar and salt treat from a bowl for cubs or pups or whatever, and walks over to place it in my lap. “See you next paw, Martin!”
I will find a way to pay her back for this.
​
I woke up around five or six paws ago with tubes in every orifice on my body, and was very surprised to find myself alive.
The full story only came later. Slavik and Jarkim had taken out one of the Liberators, but Jarkim had gotten badly wounded as a result. As soon as they had dumped Jarkim back at the truck, Slavik double-timed it to the house. They passed Thiva and Mosun on the way, and managed to arrive in time to stop Vansi from setting me on fire. By shooting her.
Not that that would’ve mattered, considering my massive blood loss and organ damage and being stuck out in the middle of Fuckoff Nowheresota.
The fact that there was a UN army base about two dozen miles away saved me, as their helicopters showed up to take over the scene and haul all the injured to the hospital. The medics were able to get to me within the Golden Hour. Though considering the extent of my injuries it was apparently closer to the Golden Ten Minutes.
Since then I had been in a medically induced coma while the hospital grew replacements for just about every single one of my organs. To hear tell of it, I’d have had no chance long-term without the Zurulians’ almost unfathomably advanced technology. The alien teddy bears were able to salvage my broken body, even though it’s likely that my left leg, left arm, and right hand will never be the same again.
And now I get to torture myself back to health. Oh joy.
​
My lambchops have been showing up every day or paw or whatever for visiting hours, and staying each time until they’re chased out by the nurses.
Each time I see them enter my room it feels better than a shot of whatever the aliens use instead of morphine; the sight of them together and safe lifts my spirits and puts a smile on my face.
We spend most of our time watching movies or TV shows on the pad, while they take turns holding my hand or stroking my head. I pet them back as much as I can, but for now both that and talking for any length of time are too draining.
They’ve been showing me some of the classic works of the Venlil. I’ve been showing them classics of humanity.
“Hey Blondie! You know what you are?! Just a dirty sonofa-” Aaa-aa-aaaaa!
The lambchops whistle with joyful laughter, releasing the tension of the long finale of the finest Western of all time.
Thiva sighs with relief. “Oh Protector, I really thought he was going to kill Tuco!”
“No way, he’s ‘The good’ of the title! And it was a call-back to the first part of the film where he kept shooting him down, there’s no way they wouldn’t take the opportunity to tie it all together!”
“Yeah, I guess… Is that seriously what humans considered ‘good’ back then?”
I interject. “You could argue that Blondie is supposed to be ‘the good’, but he’s really more like the ‘least bad’. The people making the movie were living under a dictatorship, so a lot of films from the nation of Spain around that time were made from a very cynical point of view.”
Thiva leans against me and runs her claws through my hair, making me shiver. “You haven’t been showing us a lot of movies with war in them, but they’re apparently pretty common for humans?”
I give a nod. “Yes. We’ve always had a complex relationship with war and violence. You might’ve noticed that this movie took a very somber perspective, largely viewing the war as pointless. While it was a controversial conflict in the past, nowadays the common view of the US civil war is that it was a necessary conflict to end the evils of chattel slavery.”
Vilek is silent for a short bit. “So like Blondie, violence isn’t necessarily good, but sometimes it’s the least bad.”
“Oh, I like that. That’s clever.”
She wags her tail. “Alright, what’s next on the list?”
“Next… I do my exercises, before I get too tired. Can you girls help me get into the leg brace? Can’t walk at all without the damn thing.”
​
They help manhandle me into a standing position and latch the leg brace, and I can start my agonizingly slow and agonizingly agonizing journey around the bed and back again.
To keep my mind off of the pain, and because I can’t loudly curse my beloved lambchops out like I can my arch-nemesis Chasa, I try to talk instead. “S-So… I’ve been looking into… human universities… that’ll take both of you… and ideally… transfer your… credits…”
Vilek wags encouragingly, and helps support me on my slow journey. “That’s great! We can all head to Earth instead and I can become a human assess-no, therapist!”
Thiva sighs. “Honestly, I like the sound of that. I feel safer around humans than around Venlil at this point.”
“Great… I’ll let you know… once I hear back…” Shit that topic didn’t last long. Okay what else what else “How’s that… trial thing… coming along…?”
Thiva grumbles. “The Liberators plead guilty today… including Vansi, who was being tried as a member of the group.” She had survived, but Slavik’s plasma rifle had seared her arm off at the shoulder.
“No media’s being allowed in the courtroom, to ensure they don’t get an audience for their views. The sentence hasn’t come down yet but it looks like none of them are going to feel the free breeze again for as long as they live.”
“Can’t say… I feel bad…”
“It’s too good for them!”
“The state… shouldn’t get… to do worse… than imprison… fuck, I’m done, please help.” My leg gives out and I’m left to cling to the bed frame until the girls intervene.
They help me back onto the bed before Vilek speaks. “…Even someone like Kalsim?”
​
I nod, sweat covering my body in a thin sheen. I take a deep drink of water and wait a few moments before answering. “Yeah… Kalsim’s not a threat in a jail cell. The state has a monopoly on violence, and shouldn’t get to use it to kill people just because we’re upset at them.”
Thiva frowns. “What about justice, though? Don’t people deserve to see those that have hurt them get punished?”
I shake my head. “That’s not justice. See it like this… Why not eat him?”
The girls look disgusted. I press on. “See… If killing him as punishment is fine, then just beating him up has to be fine too. Right? That’s less bad than killing him. And torture, that’s still less bad than killing. And if killing is fine, how about killing him extra painfully like by setting him on fire? And at that point we might as well eat him. I mean, why not?”
Thiva protests. “Because… Because that’s barbaric! You humans don’t eat sapients, you all say so!”
I nod firmly. “Yeah, exactly. Because it is barbaric. State punishment is just barbarism, just sadism to make the worst part of us feel better. Once we agree that it’s acceptable to do that to anyone, all we’re doing is haggling over price. There was a human philosopher named Nietzsche. He said ‘Beware of those in whom the urge to punish is strong’, and I think that’s the sort of thing he meant. Not just to beware of people in power who seek out punishment for people they have power over, but… to beware that part of ourselves.”
The girls are silent for a moment. I take a slow drink of water and speak more, even though it’s really tiring by now. But this is important.
“Listen, Vilek… When you study to become a therapist, please keep something in mind. Predator Disease doesn’t exist. Not even Renak had Predator Disease.”
Vilek frowns confusedly and bursts out. “What?! But you said he was a ‘textbook psychopath’! You said he was a monster who didn’t feel empathy! You said so yourself!”
“Yes, I did. But in human society… the majority of people with that condition are not actually more dangerous than anyone else. Because they can be taught coping mechanisms, by therapists, to fit into society. Renak was a monster because Venlil society, and Vansi, failed him.”
Thiva protests. “But…”
I shake my head. “Nobody is born a monster. And even in cases where people are truly unsalvageable for whatever reason… what’s the point in punishing them for it? Thiva, I didn’t shoot your brother because he was a psychopath. I shot him to keep you safe. Slavik didn’t shoot your mother because she was an abuser, they shot her because she was about to set me on fire. If someone shot Kalsim at this point… how would that make anyone safer?”
I sigh and take another slow drink of water. “...Christ, I do not have the energy for this heavy stuff right now. Next film, girls, what’ll it be?”
They start bickering, apparently as happy to be distracted from the topic as I am. Every time it’s their turn to pick they end up fighting over it, you’d think they’d make a list ahead of time instead. “Flower-bird Red!” “Fainting for You!” “Garden in the Stars!” “Okay, yeah, that’s good. Remake or original?” “Original, obviously!” “But the remake-” “We can just show him both!” “Okay, deal!”
I don’t end up remembering a blessed thing about the film. With the girls cuddled up to me on the Mazic-size bed I’ve been given for use since they apparently lacked human-size ones, I fall asleep by the end of the opening credits.
​
Date [standardized human time]: December 14th, 2136
​
“Hey human, you got visitors.” The nurse informs me. I glance at the clock on my pad, which I had set to count down to the lambchops’ daily visit. Still half a claw out.
Instead of my cherished friends, I see two other people step into the room. A Venlil, and Robert McGinley.
“…Hey Bob. You’ll forgive me if I don’t get up.” I jest from the hospital bed. McGinley doesn’t seem to find it amusing.
“Russo.”
“I’ve been waiting for you to show up, to be honest. Who’s your friend?”
“District Magister Vaska. Russo, we need you to sign-”
“Fuck off, McGinley.”
“If you don’t sign these documents, your refugee status can be rescinded.”
“No it can’t. Literally, there’s a list of reasons I can have my refugee status taken away, and ‘not signing hush documents’ isn’t on the list.”
McGinley gives me a tiny smile. On his blank face that might as well be an ear-to-ear grin. “But it can be if you’ve been charged with a crime in the host sovereignty.”
I nod. “Yeah, that is true. I don’t even need to be convicted.”
“So-”
“So I haven’t been charged with anything yet. And if I had to guess, I’m not going to be.”
McGinley scowls. Vaska scowls beside him too.
​
I continue. Talking is a bit tiring, but not as bad as it was just a few days ago. “Because if I’m charged with a crime, I’ll need to take the witness stand. And I can have ex-officer Jarkim take the stand. And you don’t want that. Because the raid on the Liberators’ compound here in Greenmeadow was ‘a heroic joint operation between the UN and the Exterminators’ office, approved by Governor Tarva herself’.”
Now Vaska speaks up. His voice is trembling with anger. “A stunt that you forced us to engage in! I had to call the governor on the emergency line to get approval for it! A UN military operation on sovereign Venlil soil!”
“I’m not going to apologize for making you do your fucking job.”
McGinley takes a step forward. I don’t bother to flinch back, since I can’t exactly run anywhere anyway. Instead I just look up at him passively and wait for him to say something. “It’s in your best interests to play nice, Russo.”
“Because that worked out so well for both of us last time. Remember ‘An inferno of incredible horror’? Pretty great article, really. ‘The Liberators Unveiled: Terror and death in Greenmeadow’ was killer too. Do you really want to go for a third, about what really happened to VP’s little homegrown terrorist cell that was literally funded with the salaries of the Exterminators in it?”
The ‘Liberators Unveiled’ article had run while I was comatose, revealing the full truth of the shelter arson and the identities of the Liberators involved. However, it had neither contradicted nor reaffirmed the official government narrative about the ‘joint operation’ that took the bastards down.
McGinley is practically snarling now, putting both hands on my hospital bed and making it shake a bit. I wince with pain, while he raises his voice for the first time in either of my meetings with the man. “You can’t be allowed to just run around doing whatever you want. There have to be consequences for your actions, Russo!”
I nod solemnly. “I agree. That’s what the law is for. So charge me with a crime, or fuck off.”
He shakes the bed slightly. There’s a few beeps from some of the machinery monitoring me and making sure I’m still alive. Vaska looks a bit taken aback. “You nearly ruined the whole investigation; you almost destabilized the relationship between humanity and the Venlil!”
I take a steadying breath. He’s being overly dramatic. “So charge me with a crime, or fuck off.”
McGinley snarls and slams a bundle of papers down on the bedside table. “I’m offering you a chance to change your mind.”
I glance at the papers, then lift them up with more effort than I’d like to admit and drop them directly into the waste bin.
I wave my hand, tired of this pointless farce. “No, seriously. Fuck off, McGinley. Magister, a word of advice. If you want my silence, try offering some hush money next time. Us humans are a lot more partial to bribes than to threats.”
They storm out.
Guess I won’t be going to jail. The rest of the posse will be fine too, then.
I lean back and sigh and try to take a nap. I don’t want to still be pissed off when the lambchops show up. I have something important to show them.
Some of the universities I’ve reached out to have answered back.
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Me 11 year old female My sister is an 19 year old female. I love my sister dearly, to the point i only want the best for her and i constantly give her anything she wants. I love bonding with my sister and spending time with her but sometimes i don’t feel that she loves me as much as i do, i told myself that i was overreacting and being dramatic and that i shouldn’t ask for so much. But i get jealous of her boyfriend because she always says i love you, hugs him, loves him and babies him. I know it sounds weird but ever since i was little i always looked up to my sister. i wanted to be like her. I envied her and how shes so perfect, i wanted her validation in things i did, if only she knew how much i loved her and looked up to her, i would literally sacrifice myself to keep her safe and happy, even if it meant i was getting hurt, i wonder if she would do the same, i miss the times we would cuddle and she would act like i was still a baby even tho i was taller than her, i would do anything just to spend some time with her without anyone bothering us. I really do love my sister but sometimes i think she hates me and finds me clingy annoying and weird because of how clingy i was to her. I can never bring myself to hate her because i loved her so much. I would love to tell her how much i loved her but i would worry and think that she thinks im weird and that im too clingy and that im too much. She’s constantly calling with her boyfriend and sometimes i would eavesdrop on their convos, she loves him the way i want to be loved by her thats why i was so jealous of him. Shes so pretty that i wanna have her body type, her face her smile etc. i don’t wanna take that away from her because she looks perfect as she is. im just a glob and the younger chubby sister who’s a lower version of her. she has good grades and i have bad grades. Probably because she was abused to be the highest in school. This year she will be graduating and will be going to college, she is a salutatorian and i couldn’t be more proud of her. oh how wonderful it would be to be her.
sorry for making this kinda long i just wish she would love me more. I figured if i vent some of my problems here i would feel better but i just feel awful for bragging about her.

I hate this company so much....
Word of caution. If you came here thinking about signing up for shopify DO NOT DO IT! They constantly make changes to already shitty products to try and scam you out of more money.

Hey!
It's time. I need help, but I'm honestly scared to go on meds. Antidepressants as a teen and young adult made me groggy, sleepy, and disfunctional.
I'm going to call my doctor about starting a treatment plan for my PTSD, but I'd love to know: what has worked for you and what didn't work for you? Why did you love some treatments and why did you hate some treatments?
The only thing that I am currently doing is self-dosing CBD gummies for sleep and I do find that those help, but I need something for the daytime to help when I'm triggered.

I am forced in school to watch videos of gay men dancing shirtless and people talking about sex in graphic detail. They show similar videos to PRIMARY school kids. I'm not hating on LGBTQ+ people, just wanted to get this out that the stuff that's being promoted to young children is extremely inappropriate. I also was shown a table that had different generations on it and the rate that they were straight, gay, bi, trans etc. and I saw Gen Alpha on there. I looked into this, and discovered that schools are forcing young children to watch inappropriate content that describe in graphic detail sex and openly discourage anybody not believing in LGBTQ+. I've also heard many cases where school force people to be LGBTQ+ to raise their demographic, almost like a rubbish company, trying to tick a box. I don't think that kids are necessarily able to make these types of decisions for themselves, but believe it can be advertised/promoted in a way that isn't inappropriate. Again, I'm not hating on LGBTQ+, but also it's being as if we are forced to believe in it. Yes I support everyone, but I don't necessarily believe in LGBTQ+. This is the same for somebody who for example shares a different religion.
I DO NOT HATE/DISRESPECT ANYONE, JUST WANTED TO GET THIS OUT

DRAMATICALLY RUINS MY MORNING
(22F w/ bipolar taking lamictal and ADHD taking adderall)
if i wake up myself that’s fine, i can wake up and get on with my day but omg if somebody ELSE wakes me up and they do it in a way that somehow overwhelms and angers my irrational brain i literally ball my eyes out, feel confused and lost in routine, can’t focus, and quite frankly it makes me feel slightly suicidal. it’s absolutely insane and embarrassing and i can’t stand it.
some ways of waking me up cause more extreme reactions than the others. waking me up in a blunt “get up it’s _:_am” will just make me angry but waking me up in a “i’m doing such and such and taking the car and you need to get up right now” kinda way is an example of what DESTROYS my mood and i can’t help it. it’s not just that, there are other ways, it’s just the matter of wanting to literally DIE because someone woke me up wrong. maybe it’s the being woken up to a plan that wasn’t discussed and i feel out of the loop? not being able to have a conversation about a plan is VERY hard for me, i absolutely hate it.
i feel like such a baby but my brain takes absolutely control over me and i hate it.

I hate that I love porn. I know its just a chemical response in my brain from learned behaviors and 20+ years of near daily habit. But I have always looked forward to alone time with pixels on a screen.
I've tried to break free from porn a few times over the years. I don't want to count streaks. I'm choosing a life a part from porn, so counting the days isn't helpful for me. I am becoming a new person. I am someone who doesn't use porn.
I'm trying to visualize life without it:

• Better and more mindful in-person sexual experiences with my wife
• Small but meaningful cost savings from cam sites
• Less reliance on the digital world for fulfillment
• Healthier relationships with women who aren't sexual partners

I'm burnt out in a lot of ways in my life and porn has always been my comfort. Like many of us here, I have favorite videos, IG accounts or cam models. I turn to them when life gets hard or my wife isn't in the mood. Or when I'm feeling shitty about myself and I can pay a cam girl to lie to me for 3.99 a minute.
I feel like shit today and I just don't want to turn to porn any more.

I (F22) am extremely attracted to one of my boss’s (M62). I’m trying really hard to fight it, I made a post talking about our initial interactions, but I took it down because I got embarrassed. I don’t want to read into anything, I just want to do my job. He was very friendly to me initially, but I would freeze and go stiff and now he’s very professional and aloof.
Which is good because I’m trying hard to interact with him as little as possible. Because I’m so scared someone will see the way I look at him, or smile at him, or talk to him and they’ll be able to tell just how much I like him. I can’t stand it. I can’t help but smile when he looks at me, so I try not to look at him. My voice goes weird and I choke a bit when I need to talk to him. I just want to vent here so I can try to move past this. I love his voice, and his smile, and the way he speaks and the way he walks. When he explains something to me I get lost in his eyes and the way his lips move. I keep getting this urge to be near him and I want to touch him so badly.
I hate it.
But I promise I’m trying my best to do my job, luckily a lot of my work involves moving around the premises. But hell, it’s painful. It makes no sense at all, and I don’t like feeling this way. Like a hopeless, love sick, school girl who has this creepy crush on her teacher. I won’t lie, this whole thing is making me feel badly about myself. How do we end up feeling so deeply about people who barely think twice about us?

Am I doing it right?
Death Guard - Loyalist
Master of Armor -Predator, Gravis Lascannons, Las Sponsons
Predator Squadron -Predator, Predator Cannon, HB Sponsons (x2)
Predator Squadron -Predator, Predator Cannon, HB Sponsons (x2)
Tactical Squad -x10, Inductii, Proteus Carrier w/ Lascannons, Spotlights
Tactical Squad -x10, Inductii, Proteus Carrier w/ Lascannons, Spotlights
Tactical Squad -x10, Inductii, Rhino w/ Pintle TL Bolter, Spotlights
Tactical Squad -x10, Inductii, Rhino w/ Pintle TL Bolter, Spotlights
Kratos -Melta Blast Gun, Las Sponsons, Dozer Blade
Kratos -Melta Blast Gun, Las Sponsons, Dozer Blade
Fellblade -Laser Destroyers, Hull HB
2960/3000

Howdy folks! 10 years together, six months of discard and four hours of NC (i was at four months, but I got a hickup and slide today).
I was going really good, four months of NC, reading "Whole Again", doesn't want her back, finances going UP. Someone tells me that she started to date someone where i work, and blam, everything goes south. I Lost myself, in the book, Jackson says that every cluster B survivor, wants to see the relationship fails and to get revenge. And affirms that the only way to REALLY cure yourself IS let Go the resentment and hate and feel your pain. But i Lost my mind, i remembered all that things that i've done, to end like this.
I called her, she started to mistreate me and them hang up on my face. Since I already broke NC, I politely send a message (and blocked her into oblivion) saying what I had in mind, that I Hope she Will be happy, and I was hurt by the way she mistreat me, being disrespectfull. (I don't know why, but i needded to kinda send that ! The book says that doesn't mind, to let go the Win game and Focus on i AM good with myself game)
What's my point? After contact her, I felt that all my wounds are open again. That i am Lost again. I Hope to be where i was this morning.
I Hope someday i'll left this behind me.
I Just want to feel peace, I can't endure this no more...

My (35F) husband (35M) doesn't like laundry, and can't get the handle of it. He either forgets clothes in the washer for days, brings it upstairs and it stinks up the office where his closet is during my work days. Or he'll do it, and leave a pile of dry clothes on the couch for days. He has ADHD, and a history of Bipolar 2 that his current therapist said he thinks is actually more ADHD and not BPD so he got on meds for that and still, no improvement on the laundry front. In any case, he has asked me repeatedly not to do his laundry so I acquiesced and tried to be supportive encouraging him to do it on his own. He has serious worries that I'm some day going to get fed up with him and use this as an excuse to leave or hold it over his head. I've tried to talk to him about it, reassure him that I actually love doing laundry and don't mind doing both of ours together, and he still doesn't want my help. However, yesterday he had to run errands while his clothes was in the wash so he asked me to move it to the dryer. He was basically gone all day and since we share the washer and dryer with other building tenants, I ended up washing and drying both loads, and folding them b/c that's my laundry process. Today, he noticed his clothes were all folded and appreciated gratitude and then paid me on Venmo! I told him that I am not accepting money and that instead. we should play to our strengths and I'll let him do more of the cooking since he's better at that than me, and I can take on the laundry. He got self-deprecating and said he's already failing at cooking since he didn't get to meal prep yesterday. I genuinely don't mind at all doing laundry, folding clothes actually brings me peace of mind, and just seeing how much waste goes into his process despite how many times I've tried to give tips / support him doing it himself over the past 2.5 years, he hates it and it shows. I don't know how to get him to just chill out about it and let me handle it.

Sorry if the format looks off I'm using my phone.
So I F20 still live with my parents due to being jobless and there aren't currently any jobs available so I clean the house and my parents pay me for it even though according to my dad I'm lazy and don't do anything the entire day.
I use 750ml tumblers with lids and straws instead of glasses to drink out of cause it keeps insects out at night (I have accidentally swallowed baby moths, mosquitos and other small insects by accident too many times in the middle of the night that's why I made the switch)
Tonight my parents got home and my dad poured him and my mom drinks that require being mixed my mom usually uses her finger or a stirrer stick. My tumbler was on the table next to her and I asked her not to use the straw since she's done it once before and my water tasted like her drink after that, legal drinking age is 18 here so it's not like I can't drink it's just that I hate the taste of it especially when I expect water. She then proceeded to take it out stir her drink with it and put it back in.
I told her I had just asked her not to do it and she said that I can just go get myself another tumbler since I have many (I have 4). My dad then said that I probably don't want to create more dishes for myself to wash to which I said it's not about that and then my mom asked who washes the dishes and I said me and I do the laundry and then she said that I shouldn't complain because I get paid to do it.
She then asked what's going on with me cause I was scratching myself (I don't know if I'm just weird but I get itchy all over my body when people use my things) Everything ended with my mom calling me an assh2

Hi everyone I am looking for a MarvelRPp. I can happily double as anyone you wish. I am really really looking for someone to double as Matt Murdock for my OC but I will also take Steve rogers.
So now on to the rules. There are not many so here we go. Please be over the age of 18. , I love long posts but I do understand that sometimes we get going and shorter replies happen. I love OOC chat. Please I have no life and I enjoy talking to people, tell me about the weather, I love doubling your pets anything you want let's just talk and be friends. I am drawing a blank on the other rules that i have so sorry. Be kind, like I said I have no life so I can reply pretty much all the time. I kinda prefer female rpers. give me something to work with. I hate posting a long post and only gettibg a sentence back. I will RP with males but just now I am looking for more romance and fluff. I do like drama so that will be in there as. I am on pretty much daily but I also know that not everyone has the same freedom as I do. If I don't hear from you within 3 days then I will message you to check on you. I will kinda keep checking in at different times for about 2 weeks and then I will stop for a while and I may just randomly check in on you. If you have read this tell me your favorite Daredevil line

Hi everyone I am looking for a MarvelRPp. I can happily double as anyone you wish. I am really really looking for someone to double as Matt Murdock for my OC but I will also take Steve rogers.
So now on to the rules. There are not many so here we go. Please be over the age of 18. , I love long posts but I do understand that sometimes we get going and shorter replies happen. I love OOC chat. Please I have no life and I enjoy talking to people, tell me about the weather, I love doubling your pets anything you want let's just talk and be friends. I am drawing a blank on the other rules that i have so sorry. Be kind, like I said I have no life so I can reply pretty much all the time. I kinda prefer female rpers. give me something to work with. I hate posting a long post and only gettibg a sentence back. I will RP with males but just now I am looking for more romance and fluff. I do like drama so that will be in there as. I am on pretty much daily but I also know that not everyone has the same freedom as I do. If I don't hear from you within 3 days then I will message you to check on you. I will kinda keep checking in at different times for about 2 weeks and then I will stop for a while and I may just randomly check in on you. If you have read this tell me your favorite Daredevil line