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23 [M4F] Ohio/Worldwide- Let's Be Each Other's Everything (Longest post ever?)
2023.06.06 19:24 kylexyz001 23 [M4F] Ohio/Worldwide- Let's Be Each Other's Everything (Longest post ever?)
Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Risk of Rain 2
-7 Days to Die
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.
Expectations of You:
I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!
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2023.06.06 19:24 Illustrious-Maybe223 Life of Penny (Part 4)
This is a work of fiction. No names, places, or acts are real
I whimper when Ben stops me from grinding on him. His grip tightens on my hip as he whispers in my ear "I didn't give you permission to cum, little girl. You will only cum when I allow it and you will not be doing it in front of anyone but me tonight."
I nod and hold nyself still while the girl on stage finishes her set. Several more people come over to talk to Ben but I keep looking down and not talking like I'm supposed too.
A little bit later I let out a yawn. It's early morning now and the club is closing down. Ben sees me yawn. "Oh babygirl, I'm sorry, are you ready to go?"
I nod and he pats my hip signaling Mr to get up. He drapes my coat over my shoulders and leads me to a back hallway that we follow out to the parking lot. Ben opens his car door for me to get in.
"You can look at me and talk now, Penny. Do you want to go back to my place or would you like me to take you home." I look over at him and smile "Yours please, Sir."
We arrive at an apartment complex where Ben takes me to the top floor in the elevator. His apartment is large with floor to ceiling windows and an open floor plan. He shows me around and then pours us both some water to take back to the master bedroom.
Ben undresses me and then leads me to the hot tub on the balcony. "No one can see you out here but they can hear you. I want to keep you to myself for a little while so do try to keep the noise to a minimum." He winks and I giggle as I get in the hot water. I watch Ben as he straps down, finally getting to see all of him for the first time and it is worth it. Ben crawls in the hot tub with me and slides me over in front of him so that my back is to his front between his legs.
I wiggle back to feel his growing cock against my ass. "I had a good time tonight, Sir." I tell him while laying my head back to his shoulder.
"I'm glad babygirl, I liked having you there. Some nights will be more interesting than others. Tonight was pretty tame."
"What do you mean?"
"Soemtimes the club gets rented out for private events and parties. I have different girls that work different types and some get a little more personal than others. Last month there was a stingers orgy on the main stage."
"Oh that sounds fun!"
Ben laughs "I thought you might be interested in that. I think we'll be able to find a lot of things for you to do, baby. Some of my friends will want to meet you too."
"Will your friends want to play with me?"
"Some of them will, others just like to watch."
"Works for me." I giggle.
Ben has been running his hands over my body in the water while we talk. He grabs my thighs to spread my legs out over his and then runs his hands up my inner thighs, teasing me. I lean back into him as he teases me. I flex my hips when he get close to my pussy, trying to get him to make contact but he just brushes past my outer lips and up my stomach to tease my nipples.
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2023.06.06 19:24 thebowedbookshelf [Discussion] Bonus Read: The Winners by Fredrick Backman, chapters 44-59
Welcome back to this hat trick of a book. (See what I did there?) Let's get to it. Summary:
Tails gives Mumble a ride home. He points out the business park and tells him that he uses Mumble as an example of funding talent. Tails thinks the merger will make them stronger. Mumble had trained with Amat in the past. Tails had ulterior motives to drive into Hed. He meets a friend for coffee then breaks his own car window with a rock to drum up a news story about conflict with Hed.
The reporter guy is immediately suspicious of the story. The newspaper editor calls Tails for his version. At the end of the call, she asks about the club's finances. It catches Tails off guard. He acts nervous and angry. Her dad said several hundred thousand dollars were spent but weren't accounted for. He suspects money laundering and corruption.
Matteo's parents came home with his sister's ashes. His mother thinks he has friends and could ride bikes with them. His sister drank too much and was called a whore by his mom. Matteo found her diary after she ran away. She was raped,
but her parents didn't believe her. His parents won't even have her funeral in the church they attend because it is too shameful. They will go on to pretend that she's still living abroad and sending postcards. Matteo wants to avenge her.
It's the day of Ramona's funeral. It's bigger than she would have wanted. Benji regrets coming back to Beartown. He recalls a friend he made abroad who he eventually left. The black jacketed men say hi and joke around and treat him like a person.
Johnny's boss Bengt asks him to pick up some winter tires at the trash bandits' scrapyard. He doesn't lock his van and leaves his phone on the seat. Lev is amused. He tells Johnny about the message Teemu sent with the hearse.
Peter gets dressed for the funeral. Kira adjusts his clothes. Peter tells her he loves her. Maya walks with Ana on the track where she threatened Kevin in book one.
They greet Benji at the church. He gives Maya the white tie that only his family wears. Leo is smoking in secret.
Ruth was the name of Matteo's sister. His mother sees the flags at the rink at half mast. She thinks it's for her daughter. They have the service in the chapel because Ramona's service is bigger. Matteo runs and hides behind a tree to grieve. Leo is smoking behind a tree nearby then leaves when Maya comes after him. Matteo smokes what's left of the cigarette.
The black jackets reserved a parking spot for Peter. Maya gives him the white tie. Teemu tells him he sent a message to Lev. Peter is nervous at the altar making a short speech. Teemu breaks the tension with a joke. Afterwards, Maya composes a song about the town and her parents.
The reporter father attends the funeral undercover and takes pictures. He found contracts between the council, the factory and the club that are incriminating. The thing is, there is no training facility at all.
At the end of the funeral, men suggest that Peter could take Ramona's spot on the council. He's receptive to the idea. Zackell awkwardly talks to him. No one replaced him as director after he resigned. Zackell signed a new five year contract but assumes she'll be fired after that. She's under investigation for insulting a mother who complained.
Tails jumps Kira while she's waiting in the car. He shocks her when he suggests she be on the committee. He needs a lawyer to counter media scrutiny of their accounts. The club will hire her firm to help with building the business park, too. She can't tell Peter though. The reporter dad got pictures of it all.
Peter will be away for a day with Zackell to look at a player. Perfect timing for Tails to visit Kira. The funeral empties out the town including the factory. A woman from Hed fills in on a shift and is injured in the machinery.
Amat and Mumble were too uncomfortable to attend. He asks Mumble if he could train with him. Bobo loudly reunites with Benji then sees Amat and Mumble. Bobo has a girlfriend, Tess, who texts him. Bobo drives an old camper van into Hed. Mumble knows it's a bad idea.
Johnny and Hannah get out of work at the same time but then have to go back to work at the same time, too, because of the injury at the factory. The woman was pregnant.
Two young construction workers from Beartown are near the hospital, and the woman's brothers beat them up. That leads to one of the Hed brothers' girlfriend getting her car vandalized. The woman who was injured lost her baby. The Beartown woman who gave birth in the windstorm worked on the same machine. People from Hed believe that if the same thing happened to the Beartown woman, things would have went better.
Bobo and crew parks near Tess's house. Tobias is scared of Benji. Ted is starstruck by Amat. Bobo brought food in a basket to cook for dinner. Amat plays hockey with Ted and gives him pointers. Tobias said his father liked Benji the best for an opposing player. Benji teaches Tobias how to fight on ice. Bobo drops Mumble off at his apartment in Hed. A rock with the words "Judas! Die!" written on it is thrown through his window.
Hannah is drained from her shift. She found out Tess had a boy over and said things to Tess in anger that she regretted. Tess stormed out and called Bobo to pick her up. Benji offers to buy the campervan. Bobo will give it to him instead.
next week, June 13th, for chapters 60-73. See you in the comments. That's where the questions are.
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2023.06.06 19:23 Significant_Will_343 My Depression and his insecurity ruining our relationship
I (32F) have been suffering from bipolar depression since I was a teenager. I am also an empath and a people pleaser so I have trouble setting boundaries with the people I care about. Also, I am an introvert so need time to recharge during the week and have a me day.
Recently, I started dating someone and that I’ve known for seven years, but when we met, I was in a committed long-term relationship so I never thought of him more than a friend in that time. Since then my long term relationship has ended, and I have started to date this friend of seven years. Let’s call him Ryan (35M).
Things were going good for the first 2 to 3 months until I found that he was insecure in our relationship. We also work together and spend a lot of time together outside of work. So we see each other pretty much every day. The days, or even hours that we don’t spend together, he is continuously checking up on me by texting or calling asking me what I am up to every hour or so and if I don’t respond within 30 minutes he will continue to text and ask if I am okay and that he is worried about me. At first I thought this was sweet but now it feels like he’s being very insecure if I am not continuously in contact with him and it’s mentally exhausting. I have tried explaining to him many times that I just need a day to myself to recharge after the long week. I even have to say that if I don’t text him back right away it’s probably because I’m playing a video game or I’m taking a nap. He says that he understands that and doesn’t expect me to reply right away but then I end up looking at my phone a couple hours later and see five or more unread text messages. This is has been going on for the last week or so.
I have been having a rough week and I think he picks up on that. I don’t know how much more I can explain to him that me having a recharge day includes not having to talk to anybody throughout the day or text. And I don’t want him to take it personally, but in the past when he thought I was angry at him. He has done things to hurt himself like punching himself in the face so that he wouldn’t feel the emotional pain. This scares me and should’ve been a red flag at the beginning of the relationship. Because of this, I’m almost thinking of ending things because the fact that I have to hide how I am truly feeling so that he feels secure in the relationship is not healthy.
Again, I have tried many times to explain to him that if I’m having an off week or an off day, it’s not because of him. But he tends to cling on more and be more insecure in the relationship when I bring this up. Now it is becoming an issue with our relationship for myself. I understand that he just needs the reassurance and I try to give him as much reassurance as I can but it is just getting exhausting.
I am trying to decide if I should end this relationship before things get further and things get harder for both of us. The truly hard part about this is we have been friends for over seven years and I feel like I will lose him not only as my boyfriend, but a friend after this. Also making the workplace awkward.
Below, I have typed out my feelings about the situation. As much as I don’t like to text or write out break ups I feel I need to do this, so I can set my boundaries since I have a hard time doing that when speaking to Ryan. I need him to understand that this relationship right now isn’t healthy and that my depression and his insecurity are both playing a part in it. I think in the long run we will just hurt each other more if we continue this way. I don’t think I can be the person he needs right now who can show him continuous reassurance, patience, and love. Because I am still working on my own things. My biggest fear is that he will do something more drastic to hurt himself so he doesn’t feel the emotional pain. Going further than just punching himself in the face. But in the end I need to do what’s best for me. And I also think this would be best for him. He needs somebody that is a more mentally stable person and I can’t give that to him right now. I believe relationships should be two people building each other up and not bring each other down. And I feel that this is turning into a very codependent relationship and that is not what I’m looking for. I have spent two decades working on my depression I know how to help myself through depression, but now that I feel like I have to take care of myself and another person and it is getting too much.
I have become a very independent individual, and I’ve become very good at coping and working through my own mental issues. And I feel like I am backtracking with all of that in this relationship.
Also, I have a lot of big changes coming up in my life. I am moving to my own apartment at the end of August and this will be the first time I will be living on my own. It is a very exciting thing, but also very scary at the same time for me since this is a new experience. I don’t want to have to be worrying about making sure he is secure in the relationship and have to worry about moving out and getting everything ready for that new journey. It should be a fun, exciting experience and not filled with anxiety.
If anyone could do me a favor and read through the break up, note that I typed up and tell me if it makes sense in the way I am feeling right now. Thank you all so much.
I can’t be in a serious committed relationship right now. My depression has been the worst it’s been since I was a teenager and I need get help for it. This weekend and last night was an eye opener for me that I need to get help for my depression because if I don’t and I move out on my own, I worry what thoughts and actions will come to mind with the sudden and big changes. I need to be on my own for awhile so I can live on my own. Because when I get this way, no one, even you, can help with these thoughts. Only myself can help me. I also worry about what my depression and mood swings will do to you, now and in the long run. You being an empath is an amazing trait but being with me when I am suffering with this depression will only bring you down with me. I’m not going to do that to you. I need to do this on my own so I know myself and find myself. I don’t want to live with these thoughts of hurting myself anymore and knowing I am causing you pain too will make things worse.
I hope that you can be understanding in this, because I know this will hurt both of us. And I hate to be the one to cause you pain. But we have to look at the big picture. If I don’t get back to my old self, I WILL bring you down with me. Not only in our relationship but also career. And you deserve better than that. I need to focus on myself so I can be my best self. I will probably hate myself for awhile and regret doing this but it is part of finding myself.
I worry that if I continue being this way that you will hurt yourself again. Mentally and physically. Pretending I’m alright because I fear that you may think the worst or hurt yourself, I can’t do that anymore. The mask is slipping and I’m exhausted. You deserve the best. And I am not the best version of me right now. I hope that this makes sense and you will understand that I just need to defeat this depression on my own so I can be the best version of me. I can’t rely on anyone but myself to do that. That’s not fair to you and that won’t help me either.
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2023.06.06 19:22 CountryNarrow I got my dream job…but working from home is slowly killing me.
First things first, I love my job, I love my team, I have the best work culture, and the best and most encouraging manager anyone could ask for. And yet I am absolutely miserable every work day because I am never as productive as I should be or want to be. I started this position working from home full time back in 2021 and always thought that working from home would just take some time “getting used to”. Now I’m almost 2 full years into this and I am even more undisciplined and unproductive than when I first started. My social life and a solid friend group are basically none existing, I gained weight, and feel as if I’m back in 2020 lockdown. I’m an extrovert so I thrive off real life human interaction and didn’t realize just how much my mental health has absolutely plummeted over the last year and a half. I’ve always been a person who wants to excel at every opportunity and I have throughly let myself down with this job. I’m fully remote and live about 2 hours in the next state over from the office and am really considering moving to that area so I’d be able to have a normal office environment and actual work/life balance again. All of my team members live in that area and I wish so badly I could be there now but don’t know what else to do or try. I’ve started going back to the gym in the morning and that’s helped a bit but I just can’t keep focus in my tiny 1 bedroom apartment anymore. I’m a person who thrives off my work and when I know I could do better but just can’t it just eats me alive. I get distracted and burnt out way too easily and don’t feel like I can do this much longer. My lease doesn’t end until February of 2024 and my apartment is too stupid expensive for anyone to sublet. How am I suppose to survive the next 8 months and even then would moving and going to the office every day actually help me?
submitted by CountryNarrow
to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:21 samfoto_ I am 27 years old, make $63k/yearly, live in the suburbs of Minneapolis, MN, and work in marketing.
Assets & Debt
Retirement balance: $13,286.43 (I make a small monthly deposit into my IRA. I do not have a 401k at the moment as I'm focusing on saving)
Home equity: ~$162k
Savings balance: ~$20k
Checking balance: ~$5k
Credit card debt: $0 (I pay off monthly)
Student loan debt: $17,539.32 (BFA Photography)
Car loan: $22,227.15 Income
Income Progression: After graduating, I started in Customer Service making $36k. Some coworkers at my next job recommended I get a certification in Salesforce Marketing Cloud as something to do during COVID’s early month. The company paid. It helped me get into the marketing field. My first marketing job was $50k/yr. On my second with about a year and a half of experience. I want to change fields but do not have the experience necessary to do so. If I stay at my company I may have the opportunity to try the field I want within a year or two. My work-life balance is amazing so I’m sticking with it.
Actual monthly take home: $3,471.80
No side gigs or other income. Expenses
Mortgage & HOA: $1,090.09
Home insurance: $31.63
Retirement: $100 (Roth IRA)
Savings: $1,665 (Whatever is leftover at the end of the month. Good this month since I got 3 paychecks)
Investments: $0 (Working with J to help me figure out starting this. I’m late on it, I know.)
Debt payment: $0 (Student loan payments start up again soon. Rebuilding savings in the meantime from home purchase last year)
Electric: $40-90 (last month $42)
Climbing gym: $85
Cats: $53 (food)
Car payment/insurance: $463.50
- 11 a.m. Slept in since it’s a holiday and enjoyed a delicious breakfast with my boyfriend (J) of some chocolate chip banana bread my mom made. We don’t tend to spend weeknights at each other’s places, so we love our weekends together.
- 12:15 p.m. J heads back to his place to meal prep for the week and do chores. Always the lover of a good cheap find, I went to Goodwill for a 25% off sale. I purchased an Adidas duffel bag, a t-shirt, some unused candles, and an expansion pack for a card game my friends and I enjoy. $35
- 1:30 p.m. One of my core lunchtime necessities as of late is hummus. But specifically the Target brand original. Plus it’s cheap. I also needed other basic necessities: toothpaste, tissues, laundry items, and a prebiotic powder I take daily to control IBS symptoms. I stock up once every two months so this was a big trip. Target Circle had a coupon for one of the laundry items and $10 off on a purchase of $70 or more. $111.25
- 2:15 p.m. Back home laden with one Target bag worth over $100, I crack open my new container of hummus and make a turkey wrap with a side of carrots, an apple, and some veggie straws. I have this every day and it never gets old.
- 3:45 p.m. Watch an episode of Maid on Netflix before going to play video games online with J.
- 7:30 p.m. J and our friends hop online to play a multiplayer game for an hour or two before I jump off to eat. Chicken sausage, green beans, carrots, egg white wrap, and rice. My favorite dinner at the moment!
- 10:30 p.m. In bed and decided to start reading the monthly book club picked by J. Couldn’t put it down for a while but was asleep by 12:30 a.m.
- Total spent: $146.25
- 7:45 a.m. Alarm goes off. Work after a 4 day weekend. Yay. Out of bed by 8:15. I work from home so I log in, check my emails, and go grab breakfast. I take my morning probiotics, vitamin D, and allergy medicine as a side to my morning blueberry bagel. After a slow morning online, I hit the exercise bike for a quick 15 minute ride. Shower, then a meeting.
- 11 a.m. Whip up my normal lunch of: turkey wrap, carrots, hummus, apple, and veggie straws. After lunch, I grab a couple of Reese’s Thins. Not as good, I know.
- 2 p.m. Work is slow today so I hop on my PC and play a few missions in my current favorite game. I have an oil change at 2 and groceries to pick up from Walmart after. At the oil change, they tell me I need to replace my wiper blades and cabin air filter. I can do that on my own and purchase the parts needed on Amazon. Car & groceries: $172.92
- 3:15 p.m. After my appointment, I hop back into my game and see some items from my Steam wishlist are on sale. I grab them as I’ve been wanting to get them for a while. $24.04
- 4 p.m. There’s a new Spider-Man movie coming out this week that I really want to see. Mentioned to J that we should go but tickets were a bit pricey since it was opening night. He offered to pay.
- 6:30 p.m. Same as the night before. I’m out of chicken sausage now and forgot to add them to my order this morning. Oh well.
- 8:30 p.m. Watch another episode of Maid while I eat. After the temperature cooled down for the night, I went for an hour-long walk around a nearby small lake. Get hissed at by geese and dive-bombed by a red-winged blackbird. Nature is beautiful.
- 11 p.m. In bed reading J’s book club pick. It’s right up my alley and this will be a breeze to get through. Asleep by 12:45 a.m.
- Total spent: $196.96
- 7:45 a.m. My alarm goes off and I once again snooze until around 8:15. One of my cats makes her way into my room and bugs me until I get up. Turn on my work computer and go start my morning with a blueberry bagel and my medicine cocktail.
- 8:30 a.m. I jump in the shower (hair wash day) and get cleaned up to head to my monthly chiropractor appointment.
- 10:15 a.m. I pulled a muscle in my back just over a year ago and enjoyed my chiropractor visits, so I now do them monthly. This is the last time I’m going to prepay and switch to as-needed. Paid through the end of the year.
- 10:45 a.m. My chiropractor is next to a used-clothing store so I swing in. Attending a wedding at the end of June so I’ve been looking for an outfit. I don’t find one. I find others. Also a shirt for J. Everything I bought was half off! Nothing was over $7. Grabbed 4 things. $21.25
- 4:30 p.m. It was a very slow day at work, just tested some emails, so I spent a majority of the day gaming. My job goes through heavy phases and I’m in a big lull. I sign off for the day and head to the climbing gym.
- 6 p.m. After a short climbing session, my friend M and I go to an outdoor store to buy climbing harnesses. I have one but it doesn’t fit right and he has been renting one. We find the ones we want in store but see they’re cheaper online. He has a store membership so he pays and I Venmo him back. I’m selling my old harness (only used for 2 months) to another climbing friend for $50. Almost breaking even! $3.27
- 7:15 p.m. I arrive back home and make a sandwich for dinner. Cooking seems like too much work tonight. J is at a work event tonight, otherwise we usually climb together than cook a meal after. While eating, I turn on Into the Spiderverse to prepare for the second one tomorrow. It’s still too hot for a walk so I skip that tonight.
- 9:45 p.m. After the movie I watch some Good Mythical Morning episodes I’m behind on and munch on some mini marshmallows for dessert. I prep my camera equipment for an event I’m shooting tomorrow for work. As I get ready for bed I listen to an audiobook. I read for book club for the rest of the night. Asleep around 11:30.
- Total: $24.52
- 7 a.m. I get up early as I need to be at a work event by 10 a.m. I’m photographing it so I won’t have to work too hard. I say now.
- 9:15 a.m. I head out to be to the event a few minutes early to find street parking. The event lasts until 2, so I pay for 4 hours of parking. I could submit for reimbursement but eh, it's not much. $2.50
- 1:45 p.m. I did end up fully participating as well as photographing. We wrap early after sweating in the sun weeding and mulching for a low-income apartment complex. I head home to shower, nap, and relax. Work gave those who volunteered the rest of the afternoon off.
- 5:15 p.m. J arrives at my place after work and we head to see the new Spiderman movie. I pack us some homemade popcorn and various other treats from the pantry. Movie was 10000/10. Go see it. I knew about 45 seconds in that I wanted to see it again. Did not disappoint.
- 8:30 p.m. Despite the snacks, we are still hungry after the movie and decide to go to a local Japanese place. We go in to order and J graciously pays. When we go out, he tends to pay as I typically buy and make a fair amount of our home cooked meals. At first we were given the wrong order, which we realized when we got home. He headed back to get the right order so we got two sets of meals for the price of one! We had opened the first order to see if we liked it enough to deal but it wasn’t enough food for the both of us.
- 12:30 a.m. J stays over and we get to sleep just after midnight.
- Total: $2.50
- 8 a.m. J’s alarm goes off but I sleep through it so he has to wake me up. We lounge in bed until his first meeting at 8:30. After his meeting, he leaves for work and I log on to my own. I have no meetings today and a very generous policy where we get Friday afternoon’s off during the summer. I plug away at some small projects I’ve put off for most of the week and log off around 1.
- 1:30 p.m. I went to check the mail as I had 3 deliveries coming today. All arrived! My internet bill came too which I usually throw away, but had a feeling I should open this one. I was right. My bill had gone up $10 because of some new policy I didn’t know about because I hadn’t read any of the last few months of bills. I updated what I needed to to get the price lowered again and spend the next hour researching a new provider but I’m stuck for my area. Ended up purchasing a router so I can return the company’s one and save some more money monthly. $96.72
- 3 p.m. I get a random email that a medical visit from over a year ago wasn’t going to be covered by insurance. I log into my account and see if it’s real, which it is, so unfortunately I pay for it. I don’t remember what the visit was for but insurance covered $0 of it. After I update my spending tracker. Thankfully it was a 3 paycheck month so I’m more than fine. Had a lot of surprising big expenses come up in May. $89
- 5:45 p.m. I leave for J’s so we can eat dinner together and watch an episode of the Last of Us (yeah, we’re a bit late on this one) before we head to the climbing gym.
- 10:30 p.m. We get back from climbing and have a craving for chocolate chip cookies. I help J make a small batch and we eat a few each. We watch the Last of Us and I fall asleep on the couch. Bed time at 12:30 a.m.
- Total: $185.72
- 9:45 a.m. I slept like the dead. J wakes me up as he’s on his way out to go have brunch with a friend. I slowly wake up and leave his place soon after to get my house cleaned before some friends come over.
- 12:30 p.m. J comes to my place after his brunch to help me clean before a double date with my high school best friend and her fiancé.
- 2:45 p.m. They arrive! We chat and play some card games. They leave around 5, so J and I dive back into Last of Us.
- 6:30 p.m. I reheated some leftover chicken from Thursday, frozen green beans, potatoes, carrots, and rice for dinner. We finish the season and discuss the show for a while before he heads home.
- 12:30 a.m. Bedtime!
- Total: $0
- 8:30 a.m. J and I are going to look at some houses today so in my excitement I don’t sleep very well. I get up after laying in bed for a few hours to get ready and go pick him up.
- 10:30 a.m. Open house tour commence! We see 4 houses before lunch time.
- 12:30 p.m. We decided to go to a local chicken restaurant and more than ate our fill. J paid. I dropped him back at his apartment and headed to visit my parents for the afternoon.
- 2 p.m. I arrive at my mom’s house and she dyes my hair. We used a bottle of dye I had purchased a few months back.
- 5 p.m. Game time! I hop on with J and his friends and we complete some missions in our go-to game. I stop to grab a quick snack soon after, still pretty full from our big lunch.
- 8 p.m. J hops off for a break and I do as well. He calls me right after leaving the main call and we chat about our week ahead and hang out while we do our own things.
- 9 p.m. I’m feeling very tired after not sleeping well this weekend so I go to get ready for bed. I stay up on TikTok for a while and get to sleep around 11.
- Total: $0
Food + Drink (Groceries): $64.28
Fun + Entertainment: $26.94
Home + Health: $187.21
Clothes + Beauty: $64.81
Transport + Vehicle Health: $109.34
Other: $99.99 Total: ~$556
This is NOT a typical week! Lots of medium things that added up happening at the end/beginning of a new month. That's life! When I buy things I use regularly, I often buy 2-3 more than I need at a time so that I don't have to get them as often. Unless J and I are together, I don't go out to eat to save money. I'm very lucky to work from home and save a lot of expenses that way. My job is pretty low-key and quiet most of the day, so I didn't detail too much about it this week.
submitted by samfoto_
to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:20 jybbing My baby Darcy
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Darcy passed suddenly yesterday after collapsing at home. We rushed to the hospital, and he passed while nurses/doc tried to do CPR on him. About a month and half ago he started going into heart failure. He fought really hard, but the decline was scary and quick. In the end, his suffering wasn’t long. I know he is in a better place now, but I thought we’d have more time especially since he had been on the mend the week before. He was a 10.5 years old. submitted by jybbing to cavaliers [link] [comments]
Darcy was my family’s first pet/dog. We never did much research on the breed and their health, didn’t even get pet insurance. My parents got him for me because we had just moved here from another country and they thought I really could need a friend. When I was in high school and college, Darcy and I had a casual sibling relationship. He loved me but he didn’t like me that much. He was my mom’s lap dog. My mom loved him as her child but didn’t always know how to best care for him (as in, they traveled a lot and left Darcy with other families a lot). He was always healthy, never demanding. He was everyone’s favorite.
Pandemic hit and my parents got stuck in our home country. Darcy was with our family friends, who during the first half of the pandemic lost their first pet/dog—Darcy’s best friend. I graduated college during this time and started working. As soon as I got my first pet-friendly apartment, Darcy moved in with me and my partner. By then, he had been diagnosed with a low grade heart murmur, so we started seeing a cardiologist every six months, switched him to a chicken-free diet, and added butternut squash to his meals, which really solved his recurring dietary and anal glands problems. We also started brushing his teeth every night and bought him VOHC approved products. Previously he had 9 teeth removed, but never had dental problems again.
Darcy was so happy. He loved going to the parks, loved the urban wildlife, loved all the garbage on the streets (we didn’t love that so much). All of our neighbors loved him. He built a very special bond with my partner, who is absolutely heartbroken over his sudden loss. He slept in our bed, travelled with us to various cities, took the subway/bus/Amtrak with us, flew with us, rode on the moped with us, and loved every single moment of it. We kept him active for as long as he could. Maybe keeping him inactive would’ve made his heart work less, I do wonder.. but then I remember he was naturally a sprinter. His prey drive never declined. He lived a full, rich life doing what he loved.
I am most grateful for the two years I had as Darcy’s primary caretaker. I’m grateful he gave me an opportunity to step into my powers and gave him the best possible final years ever. He taught me how to become a real adult. For our next pet, there is so much I know I can do better, starting with perhaps adopting and researching.
When Darcy came to us, I was a shy freshman in high school desperate to fit in. Now I’m starting law school in two months. Darcy showed me the person I can rise up to be. I love him so much and I’m so grateful he let me care for him.
2023.06.06 19:20 Other_Animal Offered a job, still interviewing, what do I do?
- I have been offered a job that I would be starting next month, which pays about $45,000 and is local (apartments are roughly $1500/month for me).
- I have a company that wants to fly me across the country for a second-round interview at the end of this month. They have a budget of between $60,000 and $100,000 listed for the position.
- A comparable apartment there is about double ($3k+) the price of where I am now.
- Both jobs are comparable, but the one across the country could advance my career more with a little more responsibility.
- I have a third company that is conducting a first-round interview with me this week. It is in an area that is also expensive but close to my family and friends, about 15 hours driving time away from where I am now.
- Obviously interviews are not job offers and I don't want to not have a job at the end of this.
- I tried to set up a meeting to talk about salary with the company that offered me a job, but they are pretty much capped out budget-wise. If I could get them to $50k, it would be a lot easier.
What should I do here?
submitted by Other_Animal
to careerguidance [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:19 lowlykitkat DBT group leader used to date my childhood best friend
Would this be a problem? My case got reviewed recently to see if I’m stable enough for a DBT group and I realised the facilitator’s ex-partner was my childhood best friend. When I say childhood I mean like throughout primary school. We ended up in different classes in secondary school so we kind of drifted apart and we don’t keep in contact now. Our lives went in very different directions.
I obviously didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to cause a weird relationship with the facilitator and jeopardise my place on the programme. But I really don’t know how to feel about this. Do I just keep quiet and pretend I don’t know? It’s such a bizarre coincidence.
submitted by lowlykitkat
to BorderlinePDisorder [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:19 thro0waway217190 Life feels so weird at this age
I'm 30+. I've struggled with anxiety and depression since childhood and have been getting help for it for over a decade. I find myself pretty depressed these days: I don't have close friends, I'm not in a relationship. I don't feel "myself" around people. My job feels pointless. I worked so hard in school, was driven and ambitious and wanted to work in a career where I can help people and make a difference, but I feel like most jobs I have worked felt like useless busy work. I'm overcoming driving anxiety as an adult and feel discouraged how behind I feel in life.
I don't really feel I have a purpose really. I've ignored these feelings and just try to do my best one day at a time: I work out, eat healthy. I use my free time to do hobbies and learn skills so I can change my job. But despite this, in the background, I feel like there are negative emotions.
I have been reading about the lonliness epidemic and how the surgeon general in US declared it a real public health concern, and feel like I am one of those people suffering from it. Even though I live in a large US city and have found myself participating in as many activities as possible, I haven't found a community really. Most people my age have their own friends and families that keep them busy. For the past year, I've been the one making initiatives to hang out and spend time with people. But if I'm not actively doing this, then nobody does it first.
When I was a kid, I was a pretty popular and loved person. We had a community and I made friends instantly. I'm an only child, so friendships were important. My friends would actually cry and fight over to spend time with me. When my childhood friends had to move to another country, my family dropped them off at the airport and when they waved us goodbye, they cried so hard. It really felt like I had a purpose and place in people's lives. But over time, I've become a nobody in these same friends' lives. Despite that we are now more connected than ever with social media, a lot of these friends don't even follow me back anymore. They're busy with their own families now and have lives of their own.
I feel completely abandoned. I went from a happy, popular kid to an invisible, awkward adult. My parents aren't from America and I am brown, so when it came to school and elsewhere, I had to keep proving myself or otherwise people would assume I'm not American and don't know American culture or customs. This caused challenges when I went on to pursue a professional career-I'd always feel doubted and sometimes I would be blatantly humiliated that only made my self-esteem issues worse. I have been constantly humiliated by my family members too. My aunt has some serious issues and called me a piece of shit and even told me that I was supposed to be aborted and asked me what purpose I serve in the world. My college roommate who was my childhood friend and somebody I once considered a best friend moved to the same city as me and never hangs out with me. The only time she did is when I invited her to hang out, but otherwise months have gone by and she and her roommate, who I know too from college, don't hang out with me at all. I have given up and focused on making new friends, but it's not always easy. Everbody seems to have a place they belong in except me.
I live with roommates and have decided to continue until I feel ready to afford my own place. One of my roommates atm is passive aggressive and making living in my apartment an uncomfortable experience. I usually just ignore people but this time I talked back to her b/c it was getting really annoying.
I know people say that social media isn't real life-but I honestly also look at social media at times and feel like people are living lives I can't even begin to imagine: fancy wedding parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, hangouts and core friend groups. Most of my friends don't even remember my birthday. I don't know how it all came to this-I'm an outgoing, friendly person with a good sense of humor. I care deeply about people and remember details about them. I'm an active listener. Instead of making friends, I feel I've been used and abandoned. I feel so deeply sad as an adult. Just needed a place to vent.
submitted by thro0waway217190
to RedditForGrownups [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:19 Micheyy_mich Is this a miscommunication or do I end the friendship ?
I set up my close friend with one of my boyfriend family members ( we were really close to him ). Now they are engaged and happy and I’m happy for them. My friends parents were super strict about dating so me being a good friend I would help her see him, and they were always hanging out with my boyfriend and I. Once they got engaged they slowly stopped hanging out with us, we would ask and they would say no they can’t. They didn’t even come to my birthday dinner because they said that Friday’s are hard for them to hang, and I was hurt and upset but I let it go. We ended up confronting them about it, saying we feel used and they apologized and said there just focused on hanging out with each others families. We understood but it made me feel super left out considering I’m technically apart of that same family. Last week we asked them to get dinner because we haven’t seen them in a while (mind you we have always been making plans with them never the other way around ) my friend told me she was working till 8. So we said we’ll make future plans. We were on the way to dinner and we not unintentionally bumped into them, my boyfriend was hurt and so was I. When we saw them there faces were flushed and embarrassed they got caught. I confronted the both of them and they apologized and said it’s not that we don’t want to hang out with you guys we love hanging out with you guys but we were tired. But why lie then? Am I crazy to think that they don’t want us to be friends? Do I let it go? Or do I just stop communicating with them.
submitted by Micheyy_mich
to friendship [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:19 Dzjoppie We are building an EDH life counter app that lets you build up a rich history of statistics for you and your playgroup.
TL;DR: For the past six months we have been building our dream EDH life counter app that lets you build up a rich history of statistics for you and your playgroup.
Learn more or sign up: https://playgroup.gg/
With this post we wanted to bring our recently released 2.0 version to everyone’s attention as we feel that it is a huge step up from our version that was announced 6 months ago.
We have to thank our community on Discord (shout out to everyone on our server) for all their great suggestions so far, they have helped to improve Playgroup.gg
massively. (Join our Discord here if you’re interested: https://discord.com/invite/wAG8aApDU5
) How does it work?
One player in your playgroup needs to be running the app on their device (IOS, Android, Windows or Linux). From there it works much like any other conventional life counter app, except players join the game with their personal profile, choose a deck and start tracking their life. One departure from existing apps is that we have found an easy way to track which player damages or kills which player, which makes for a really cool stat to track.
all stats are presented in real-time. There are leaderboards, in-depth game stats and also player profiles. Profiles can be made public and shared with your friends, this is one of ours for example: https://playgroup.gg/profiles/1-maran
. Background and motivation
In the past we have been using a conventional life counter app combined with the excellent Guildpact stat tracking app to record our playgroup stats, but over the years we started picturing something innovative that integrates these two functions into one platform. As a result, Playgroup.gg
was born. What’s next?
Apart from improving the current base app, we could see Playgroup.gg
branching out to sub-formats like pauper Commander and cEDH. We’re also interested in hearing if formats other than EDH would be interested in using an app like this. Join our Discord if you would like to talk.
submitted by Dzjoppie
to EDH [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:18 Spare-Personality-19 AITA for telling my elementary school best friend I don’t want to be friends anymore
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Hey, I’m new to this but I just really want to know if I was in the wrong. My ex best friend (14F) has been my best friend since around 5th grade ( I’m 15F). We’re currently going into our sophomore year of high school. The day before the last day of our freshman year I decided to send her a friendship breakup text. I decided to stop being friends with her for multiple reasons. One of the reasons is because I’ve tried setting boundaries multiple times. Since people thought it was cool to inappropriately touch each at our school, my ex best friend would find it funny to always grope me which made me very uncomfortable. I told her multiple times that I did not like her touching me because I didn’t even like being hugged. I told her multiple times but she wouldn’t stop. One time I was so annoyed I told her I would stop being friends with her if she didn’t stop touching me. She finally dialed it down by our freshman year. At the beginning of the school year we started drifting apart and at first I tried to stop it from happening but I regret doing that. When the school year had started, she started being really mean to other people even though in the past she was the kindest person you could ever meet. I noticed she had been mean to others and me so I told her that she had been doing this. She then told me that she would change but she didn’t. She then continued to be mean to others behind my back. I only found out because people started coming to me telling me she had been hurting their feelings. Also at the beginning of the school year her “best friend” (I’m going to call her toxic friend #1) had started drama with her for complementing her insta post. Toxic friend #1 had another friend, toxic friend #2. Toxic friend #2 then decided to tell my ex best friend to kill herself and went into detail on how to do so. For ex. She said “shove a taser up your pussy”, “hang yourself with a chain because if you use a rope it’ll snap”, and to shoot herself. Well my ex best friend decided to go back to being friends with them again just because they were friends when they were younger. Not to mention all of them go behind each other’s back and talk crap about one another. Well I could no longer handle the toxicity of that kind of situation, because that kind of thing had happened multiple times and they always ended up being friends again. Being friends with her had quite literally made me miserable and made so happy when I didn’t have to see her. Well a day before the last day of school I sent her the text (I’ll add the photos of the messages) and I didn’t realize toxic friend #1 and #2 were sitting with her until after I sent it, but Toxic friend #1 decided to text for her. A part of the text said “have you considered that -ex best friend- doesn’t want to see hentai 24/7” well I got annoyed because it was clear that they didn’t read anything in my text and I went and confronted my ex best friend. I asked how did hentai come into the conversation and all my ex best friend had to say was “ when you went around showing a drawing of a penis.” I then said that is something that happened once not “24/7”. She then proceeded to say “well you made everyone you showed uncomfortable. I then replied with I realized that the next day and I felt bad and if anyone was uncomfortable they could have asked to to stop and I would have. Do you want to know what’s funny about that, the exact same day she let a friend draw a giant penis on her arm and she went around showing people. Apparently what I did was bad even though I only did that once, even though she does stuff like that all the time. She also has a tendency to be loud and make the most annoying jokes and meme references that annoy people. I also told her that she makes people uncomfortable by trauma dumping in not at all funny jokes. I also sent her another text around 20-30 minutes after I confronted her saying “There's one thing I forgot to say the fact that you're arguing with me because I'm saying I don't want to be friends proves that you're a toxic person if you were a normal person you would realize that if you didn't respond you could have been done with me and you wouldn't have to talk to me, a friend you think is toxic” and she had blocked me before I sent the text so she didn’t see it. I also told her not to talk to me ever again when I confronted her. I almost forgot to mention I think I was friends with toxic friend #1 first because in 3rd grade we we’re friends and then they moved. I only thought I should mention that because in one of the text, toxic friend #1 mentions that they were “friends” with my ex best friend for years. Also in the message about how I didn’t want to be friends with her I said she’s become rebellious because she snuck a boy into her very strict mothers house and lost her virginity. She also got a phone from one of her friends even though her mom doesn’t want her or her siblings to have devices, and she definitely shouldn’t have a phone because she loves talking to random men and women on the internet and getting into relationships with them. If you look at the screenshots you will see that I said she only said 2 full sentences to me in the span of 3 months I’m actually telling the truth I’m not over exaggerating things. But seriously am I the asshole/the one in the wrong or did I do the right thing. submitted by Spare-Personality-19 to AmItheAss [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:17 Neckties-Over-Bows Came up short again, but lesson learned
I (23M) have never had a girlfriend in my life before. I didn’t really start dating until I was about 19/20, so it’s taken me some time to learn how to date—how to learn pace, how to plan dates, etc. Anyway, I’ve gotten to a place where I feel pretty comfortable dating, and I recently came pretty close to finally crossing that relationship bridge before it all just fell apart at the very end.
So, I had been seeing a woman (22F) for a strong month. We would go on dates pretty much weekly doing different things like mini golf, restaurants museums, just switching it up and keeping things fresh while enjoying each other’s company. We talked all the time about any and everything. We talked about our families, our goals, our insecurities, all those things. We had fun and laughed together, but we also had some serious talks which I really appreciated.
About a week and a half ago, we were out to dinner for the second half of our date when she asked me what my intentions were with her. I told her that I enjoyed spending time with her and that I was interested in seeing where things could go long term. She agreed and said she also was interested in that, and so I was thinking this could finally be the time I end up in a relationship with someone that I really like.
In the days between our next date, she expressed to me that she really would like to hold hands and do all that couple-like stuff. Now, I’m not a super big physical touch person, and I expressed that earlier in our dealing with one another when we were talking about love languages and all. But I believe in communicating and making those adjustments, so the next time we were out, I made it a point to hold hands so that she would know that I was really willing to change those things if necessary. We had another good time, had dinner, and then that was the end of the date. We talked sparingly after that because she had a busier schedule in the days that followed, which I respected.
Yesterday, we were talking and I asked her about her availability for another date soon, which was when she ended up telling me that she has had a change of heart. She told me that, even though she finds that we get along well together and we have a good time together, she just doesn’t feel that kind of “romantic/relationship attraction” and that she’d rather just proceed as friends instead. Not gonna lie, that stung a little bit, but I understood. In hindsight, I think I bear a lot of responsibility for that. I probably should’ve pushed the pace more, should’ve broken the touch barrier sooner without her bringing it up to me, should’ve tried to kiss sooner, but I just didn’t feel comfortable, so I didn’t. I told her I respected her decision, and that was pretty much the end of the conversation.
In the end, I came up short again, but I learned a valuable lesson. I learned that, perhaps, I need to try and be more aggressive with touching earlier. If not, it could be a turn-off even if I don’t intend for it to be. It’s unfortunate that things didn’t work out the way that I had hoped, and I will admit that it did sting being turned down less than two weeks after our previous conversation, but such is life. I’ll brush myself off, learn from this, and keep on going.
submitted by Neckties-Over-Bows
to dating [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:14 sploshfreak i’m the worst daughter and i feel helpless
this post is gonna be long so I apologise in advance. adding nsfw just in case.
my family has financially struggled for as long as I can remember, my childhood was great. we owned a penthouse, my family was happy and I had everything a child ever wanted. all the toys, a bunch of friends and loving parents. this all changed when we moved to another place for dad's work, my mom had to shut her business down because of the move ( most of the monev was being earned by my mom ) we didn't own the home we live in but didn't have to pay rent because the apartment was owned by one of my dad's friends, our neighbours were amazing and it all felt like being in a huge family. when my fourth grade ended we had to move back to our old home because of family issues. those being the fact that my dad had a second family. my mom found out about his second family when she was six months pregnant with me, she never told me to protect my peace of mind. they found our address and tried to harm us so we ended up moving out. When we moved back new tenants were living below us. It was a woman who I will call 'A' for now. A used to force women to become prostitutes and used to sell alcohol. Now the state where I live is dry so no alcohol is allowed unless you had a permit. Even if she did have it reselling is not allowed. I live in India where to this day inter-religion marriages are heavily frowned upon.
My mom a Jain married my dad who is a Muslim. She was kicked out by her parents and wasn't allowed to talk to my dad's side of the family until she converted which she refused to do. When A found out that my mom was a Jain who married a Muslim guy she beat my mom up. I was at a friend's house and when my dad saw her beating my mom up he ran away. A threw glass shards at my mom and beat her up with a metal pipe. Thankfully there were some people around who defended my mom. For five days we lived at my dad's friend's house. We ended up abandoning the house and had the bank seize it. However, A managed to break in from the roof and stole all my mom's valuables. We moved to another place near my dad's friend's house. I was sent to boarding school so that I did not have to deal with my parents. I spent my sixth and seventh grade there before covid hit. This is when I found out the truth about my dad.
He and his wife beat my mom up when she was pregnant, He sold all my mom's jewellery without telling her to buy his other wife gifts. He took my tablets and my toys and gave them to his other kids. He constantly abuses her and threatens to kill her. As a 13-year-old this was a lot to take in. I fell into depression and started hating my dad. Three years spent in that house has made me realise what a huge piece of shit my father is. My mom's business picked up a little and we were able to move to a better area. This was when I started tenth grade so I was thankful for a new environment. I made new friends, started feeling happier and also convinced and supported my mom to file for a divorce. the only reason he signed the papers is because my mom told him that to earn more money she has to switch back to her old surname. we even changed my name which he doesn't know about yet.
Now the business is slowing down again. We are struggling to pay rent, and can't afford a lot of groceries right now. My mom and dad have been going through a lot of fights and she asked him to leave, to give us peace and asked him to go back to his other family for a few weeks. He threatened to commit suicide and blame my mom for it so she gets jailed. I know my father hates me. He blamed his heart attack on me. I've always said my mind and I've told him several times how I hate him and how he's a terrible terrible dad. He only pretends to love me for his security of housing. My mom works a lot. She's at her office up to 12 hours a day. lk not a lot compared to a lot of other women but she also has to manage her sleep, making food and spending some time with me. The thing is she works in a male-dominated field (in my country ) and therefore a lot of people don't take her seriously. She finishes all the work but never gets her payments. She has to collect about 4.7 crores at this moment ( around 500k USD) but her clients simply delay the payments. She came home crying today. She went to collect a cheque THAT SHE WORKED FOR and the client started saying things like "You should become a prostitute you'll earn more" and "You're a poor girl so I thought I'II do a favour by dropping you off but you're purposefully showing me the wrong roads" "You're brainless" and so much more. Mind you he's thirty years older than my mom and has known her since 2010. He even made a comment sexualising me.
I just don't get it. why my mom? she's an amazing mom, yes we have moments but she's done so much to protect me. I just want her to be happy and I feel terrible knowing that I'll never be enough. I'll never be the daughter she deserves.
submitted by sploshfreak
to offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:13 vtsoftreview ActiveCampaign Reviews
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submitted by vtsoftreview
to u/vtsoftreview [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:09 boymom-farmmom SIL relationship advice needed
Let’s just say my SIL (we are married to brothers) and I have a very strained relationship that is so exhausting. We used to be best friends which probably makes it even worse. The falling out happened when I was having issues in my relationship and I wouldn’t go into details with her. This happened over 2 years ago.
Every time she is around it feels like you have to walk on egg shells and do exactly what she wants so things don’t get any worse than they already are (my MIL has expressed this exact same feeling to me about her). It’s completely normal and not awkward when it’s just her husband around and not her. There are a few things that she has done that have rubbed me the wrong way but I keep my mouth shut to keep the little peace that is still there.
She is now pregnant so it would be nice to mend the relationship since we now both have children and I would like my child to grow up knowing and being best friends with his cousin. When her child is born our children will be roughly 2 years apart. We only live 5 minutes away from each other so playdates could be a regular thing when they get a little older.
How do you go about mending a relationship that is real tattered because talking doesn’t seem to help. I’ve never directly talked to her about the falling out but when I just try to have a casual conversation with her she’s not very interested and is eager to run off and only associate with her husband. Right now I only see her when my MIL invites them over to dinner which is maybe once a month if that. But I see husband at least 3-4 times a week.
submitted by boymom-farmmom
to FamilyIssues [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:09 CARR74xJJ What would happen, RAW, if an Awakened beast targettable by the Giant Insect spell (such as a wasp, a centipede, a spider or a scorpion) cast said spell of themselves?
Basically what the title says. For example, imagine I, a 10th level Druid attuned to a 5th Level Spell Gem, awakened Pointy, my pet scorpion. I then cast the Giant Insect Spell inside the Spell Gem, end my Attunement to it, and give it to Pointy to attune. Later, during a difficult encounter, Pointy decides to help and casts Giant Insect on himself.
What would happen in this case?
Would Pointy's INT return to 1, or stay as 10? Would he lose his known language? I assume the answer to both would be no, as he simply became a giant version of himself, and the 10 INT isn't inherently part of his statblock, but an effect of the Awaken spell.
If his INT score did return to 1, would he have a chance of becoming hostile towards me, after the 30-day charmed effect from Awaken was over?
If he still had 10 INT and his language, would he need to give spoken commands to himself to act, or would he be able to move freely?
If his INT score returned to 1 and lost his language, would he be able to do anything at all after transforming, if there's no one to command him?
Finally, considering this situation turned out the most favorably (Pointy is still my friend and trying to protect me, can control his own movements, has 10 INT and can speak), what would be the best ways to protect both him and his concentration?
Edit: Additional questions:
If Pointy's INT score became 1 while transformed, would it still be 10 when he turns back?
Imagine Pointy is a wasp, instead of a scorpion, thus being able to cast the spell on himself and up to 4 other wasps. How would this work?
submitted by CARR74xJJ
to 3d6 [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:08 Simple_Distance9798 Feels like everything is going wrong at once.
I had a physics test on projectile motion today, was planning to study the day before (I know it’s a bad idea). I went home early by skipping a bit of essentials since I’m way ahead on the notes and I’m learning stuff I’ve learned 2 years ago, but when I got home I had to go my provinces driver license class where we have to attend 9/10 classes, and I was sick for the last one. My mom made me sign up even though I told her I didn’t want to do during my schools two month intensive course thing, but I didn’t really get to have a choice. I eat head out and he lets us go at 8 which is an hour early, but I have to wait an hour for my mom at the ymca, then we go to someone else house for an hour. I get home 10:30, already missed F/GO’s summer event cause I was gonna farm it last second to get the event exclusive character, can’t find any calculators and mine broke ten minutes in, just used my phone and studied till 1:30 am. I woke up and I couldn’t remember anything I studied, and when I wanted to study on my bus, I brought along my fucked up calculator. Can’t study on the bus, lost my formula sheet/cheat sheet. Failed the quiz, and now I’m trying to convince myself not to leave and just go to my city’s public library to play games and read for the rest of the day. Feels like all the bad decisions I made are catching up to me all at once. Didn’t bring a lunch, didn’t eat a breakfast, have no money on me, and my mom thinks I stole two $100 dollar gift cards. She think if She finds them I hid them. I find them I got scared and gave it to her in the end. She also took my phone for using it as an alarm from Feb until now and my sister had got her phone taken away from her at least 20 times and has convinced my mom to give it back every time, and my brother just finds where she hid it and takes it and basically flaunts it in front of her and she doesn’t give a shit. Just dropped a fucking Oreo my friend gave me and it fell apart. I can’t even have an Oreo today.
submitted by Simple_Distance9798
to rant [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:08 rienarce I (F22) date M22 for 3 years, but felt in love with M21
I will try to explain it as simple as possible, I just can't talk about it with anybody who I know in real life, because I suppose I don't want anybody to remember this conversation, but I still need an advice so much...
So here is the situation. For three years I've been living with a nice guy, let's call him Mike. We met just three months before COVID restrictions, so we date a little and then started to live together and spend all the time together.
Everything was ok, he met my mother, I met his parents, we are planning our common future. We do everything together, so it's like a very deep feeling.
In the end of 2022 we were playing board games with some people, and there was one guy, let's call him Paolo. I noticed Paolo was looking at me all the evening, but I didn't found it very important. From this day we started to gather together with these people, playing board games, we just spend time on weekends and so on. And Paolo became our friend just like others there.
And now I think I felt in love with Paolo. I don't suppose he feel the same, I notice he looks at me often when we meet, but I think it doesn't count.
Mike is very nice guy, he is kind, treats me so good, he is smart and he will be a nice father I see. We do a lot of things together, and I love him. Paolo is active, he is interested in a lot of things, he knows a lot, he is very handsome, he is the first guy that I can really call a handsome one. He can have bad sides, I understand it, but I want to see him, to meet him as often as possible, to talk to him, I like looking in his eyes and so on, but I don't show my feelings.
Sometimes I feel I should leave my boyfriend, start to live alone and then tell everything to Paolo, no matter what he will answer, even if he doesn't feel the same, it will be honest to Mike and to everyone.
On the other hand, when I imagine how harmful this decision will be to Mike, I feel so bad, I love him as my very important person, I don't want to make him feel so bad, I just can't imagine our lives apart from eachother. He is 80% of my life, we tell eachother everything, we went through a lot together. It breaks my heart when I think about damage I will do all this things we were building together these years.
So I have a question. Is it possible to like somebody if you are in a relationship, or if I liked Paolo, it means I don't treat Mike as a romantic partner, only as a best-best friend? Maybe it's just a stage of a long relationship, so I should just stop thinking about it. It's ok that people don't feel the same during all the time of their relationships, so maybe I just like Paolo because there's no passion in our relationship with Mike right now, but I should do something to change it...
TLDR: How should I understand should I leave my boyfriend if I liked somebody else, or should I wait because every relationship has a stage when you may be not so sure.
submitted by rienarce
to relationships [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:07 DependentNews6445 Indoor plants donation
Hi! Do we have any places in town that accept plant donations? I have two indoor plants, one peace lily and one elephant ears, both are healthy and easy to keep. Cannot have them anymore because they are not pet friendly.. Please let me know if I can donate them or find them a new home!
submitted by DependentNews6445
to Brownsville [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 19:06 Rayneoffire96 Neighbor not respecting property boundaries.
This is in Michigan. I have 3 dogs and my neighbor keeps calling them to the fence and reaching over to pet them. He also allows his dog to dig under my fence trying to get to my dogs. The problem I'm having is one of my dogs is a rescue and he is not dog friendly and is very territorial. This dog is actually very sweet but has gone after both my neighbor and his dog, we stopped our dog before he actually attacked but I'm concerned that there will come an instance where we couldn't stop it. I have repeatedly told my neighbor to stop and that he's going to get both of our dogs killed but he refuses to stop. For context my dogs are all in my fenced in backyard and I feel like my dogs should be allowed in my yard without incidents, it only becomes an issue when this neighbor reaches over the fence or brings his dog to our fence. What can I do?
submitted by Rayneoffire96
to legaladvice [link] [comments]