What's going on?

A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader to Boost.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface. This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.

What's the plan?

On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
The two-day blackout isn't the goal, and it isn't the end. Should things reach the 14th with no sign of Reddit choosing to fix what they've broken, we'll use the community and buzz we've built between then and now as a tool for further action.

What can you do?

1. Complain. Message the mods of reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
2. Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join us at our sister sub at ModCoord- but please don't pester mods you don't know by simply spamming their modmail.
3. Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
4. Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible.

Hi. I was wondering if someone could help me with my parents’ and their unwillingness to do something about pests in their home. They have more than one species of insect infesting their home but they refuse to do something about it. I’m very concerned because currently one of the types of bugs that they are living with is one that will destroy textiles and other things in their home. The bugs can also aggravate allergies, cause respiratory problems and/or cause an allergy to the type of insect itself due to overexposure. Both of my parents already have general allergies. It just doesn’t seem very healthy.
I have seen bug carcasses all around their home and even larvae so I know that they are infested. They refuse to clean or do anything to get rid of the problem. They won’t hire an exterminator and are paranoid (for lack of a better term) about spraying (they seem to think that the bug spray is going to hurt them) but also don’t want to use diatomaceous earth because they don’t like having dirt everywhere. My mother complains that she can’t breathe or something whenever my dad tries to spray but I think she is just being dramatic and exaggerating. They are also worried about the spray hurting the dog even though I’ve told them that they can just go somewhere with the dog for a few hours and come back later once the spray is dried or have the dog go to a pet hotel or something since they’ve had her stay there before when they’ve gone on vacation.
They are more concerned with how things will look (diatomaceous earth creating dirt) than getting rid of the problem. I have even suggested them hiring someone to come and heat up the home to a really high temperature to kill off the bugs that way because I’ve read that that is also an option but they won’t consider that either. They keep acting like they don’t have time, won’t even take off a day or two of work to do something (clean, spray, anything) or have an exterminator come. Is there some way to make them understand why this is not something that they should just be allowing to continue?
My father seems to think that people in the past just lived with such problems and it was just normal or something. He doesn’t seem to understand that living outside is different than living in a home that is infested. They are completely ignoring the problem and almost seem to be living in denial about it.
They often don’t believe me when I tell them about the carcasses, larvae or actual bugs themselves that I’ve seen unless I show them and sometimes not even then because if I send them a photo they often just never see it or look at it. Instead of doing something about the problem they redo their front yard or buy a brand new tv for their patio. I don’t understand why they will not just hire an exterminator and I do believe that some underlying hoarding issues may be what’s contributing to this because they rarely clean and always have stuff everywhere. There is always a ton of stuff around their house.
They seriously act as if they are helpless to do anything whenever I bring it up. I don’t understand why they don’t make this a priority and use the funds that they spent on redoing their front yard or buying a brand new tv for their patio towards an exterminator or something instead of spending it on stuff that isn’t even necessary. They get mad too if I say anything, even if I am trying to be gentle about it. They just seem to think I am just criticizing them or calling their home messy. Is there anything that I can do?

BLUF: This is actually a big deal, even if you don't use third-party apps or old.reddit. Many moderators and power users (including myself) use them almost exclusively. Third-party apps are also essential for redditors with accessibility needs and the tools created by third-party developers indirectly support much of the content and community growth that has made reddit what it is. We would much rather keep the subs open and running while reddit reverses its plans -- going dark is the most visible form of protest we have available.
Dear /studentloans and /PSLF community:
Moderators of many subs across reddit -- big, medium, and small -- will be "going dark" (setting the subs to private and making them inaccessible to read or post) starting on June 12th. /studentloans and /PSLF will be joining them.
This is not a decision we take lightly -- we recognize the value of these subs as a hub for advice and discussion of important topics that more than 300,000 of you have found helpful during your respective student loan journeys. We have never before taken these subs down in protest and we only do so now because we believe the changes that reddit is planning to make will threaten the long-term health of the community itself. We're going dark temporarily to hopefully prevent a permanent deterioration and death of the community.

What's going on?

A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced it intends to raise the price to make calls to the API from being free to a level that will kill every third-party mobile app on reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader to the app I've used for years to post and moderate on-the-go, Sync.
Even if you're not a mobile user or don't use any of those apps, this is another step toward killing ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite, Toolbox, Pushshift-enabled tools, and the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface. Again, even if you don't use these tools yourself, the moderators of this sub do and they are essential for our work. The same is true of the mod teams in many, many other communities and that's why we're all speaking out now.
The latest figures reddit has released show that 3 out of every 5 mod actions across the site are done on Old Reddit, even after years of stagnant development for the interface. Why? Because it's still better for moderating with the help of third-party tools. The same is true for the third-party mobile apps -- they remain so popular and beloved because, for many people, they are better than reddit's immature and bloated official app. (Which itself started as a third-party app that was bought by reddit.) And aside from direct use, many moderators (including us) depend on tools and bots only available outside the official app to keep our communities on-topic and spam-free.
The reddit you see and enjoy today stands on the shoulders of years of work by third-party developers, many of whom are also fans of the site, saw an unmet need, and wrote a program/script/app to meet it. Third-party apps and tools are essential for redditors who need accessible interfaces. For example, the /blind community is joining the protest because reddit's official app lacks accessibility features that vision-impaired redditors have enjoyed from third-party apps for years. (Reddit knows that this change will effectively excommunicate blind users from mobile reddit and is pressing forward anyway.)

What's the plan?

In response to this situation, the moderators of /StudentLoans and /PSLF are joining forces with other subreddit communities and their respective mod teams in a coordinated effort. We believe that unity is essential in driving change and advocating for the rights of app developers, moderators, and the overall user experience. To amplify our message and demonstrate the strength of our concerns, /StudentLoans and /PSLF will be participating in a temporary blackout starting on June 12th, lasting for 48 hours.
During this blackout period, the subreddits will be set to private, rendering them inaccessible to all users. This collective action is intended to raise awareness and urge Reddit to reconsider the recent API changes. Our primary goal is to initiate a productive dialogue with reddit, leading to a reversal of the detrimental modifications before they are implemented.
We understand that this blackout will cause temporary inconvenience to our community and, for that, we apologize. However, we firmly believe that this short-term disruption will bring long-term benefits for every user. By standing together with other subreddit communities, we hope to send a clear message to reddit and foster a meaningful conversation about the future of its API policies. This isn't something we do lightly; we are taking this action because we love this service, have devoted thousands of volunteer hours into moderating and curating the community into what it has become, and we truly believe this API change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.

What can you do?

1. Complain. Message the mods of /reddit.com, who are the admins of the site. Message reddit. [Email Reddit](mailto:[email protected]) or submit a support request ticket to communicate your opposition to their proposed modifications. Comment in relevant threads on /reddit, such as this one. If you've tried the official iOS or Android app, leave an honest review and also review your favorite third-party app while you're at it. And sign your username in support to this post.
   
2. Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy, get your cat involved! Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join /ModCoord and /Save3rdPartyApps (but please don't pester mods you don't know by simply spamming their modmail).
   
3. Boycott and spread the word...to reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th -- instead, take to your favorite non-reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
   
4. Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable, and law-abiding as possible.
   

We appreciate your understanding, support, and active participation in this important endeavor. It is through the strength and dedication of our community that we can strive for a better Reddit experience for everyone involved.
Thank you,
horsebycommittee and ANGR1ST

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What's going on?

A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader to Boost.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface. This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.

What's the plan?

On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
The two-day blackout isn't the goal, and it isn't the end. Should things reach the 14th with no sign of Reddit choosing to fix what they've broken, we'll use the community and buzz we've built between then and now as a tool for further action.

What can you do?

1. Complain. Message the mods of reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
2. Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join us at our sister sub at ModCoord- but please don't pester mods you don't know by simply spamming their modmail.
3. Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
4. Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible.

I was recently injured on the job and have had to go on medical leave while I recover. My insurance company is paying me about 60% of my salary but it is not taxed at all.
Should I contribute any savings to an RRSP while I'm on leave, or should I wait until my situation changes?

You can buy 1 or 2 boxes or bags of Keurig beverages purchased on www.Keurig.com, up to 24 count per box. This includes free standard shipping.
I'm selling the 1 free box coupon for $7 and 2 free boxes for $13. 2 boxes plus shipping averages about $35-40 usually on the website so these can save you a lot of money.
Please chat me if interested. Comment before PM

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I hope this is a good place to post this.
I was employed at Home Depot (HD) and invested a measly $23 into their FutureBuilder plan (FB). I didn't last long there. In May, I started working at an Amazon warehouse and elected to contribute 4% of my paycheck into their 401k plan at Fidelity. I went back onto the HD FB site and added the Fidelity account under their institutions lists on my account page because they require it to be there for 14 days before I can rollover to the new institution.
I was just on the HD FB site and tried to initiate a rollover since it's been over 14 days but it tells me I do not have an account to rollover to. If I withdraw, there's a fine print that says it will deduct a $25 fee.
I went to the Amazon Fidelity site to try from their end but it says the plan doesn't allow online rollovers. It gives a link for "rolling over from another employer plan" that wants me to create a new account.
Should I create a new account and rollover the HD FB money into it? If I do create a new account with Fidelity, will it override the Amazon plan or will I now just have two fidelity accounts?
If you can't tell, I'm completely oblivious to investing/retirement saving.

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Getting your first UGC gig is the hardest part. All brands want to see previous work, but if you’ve never done this before how do you prove you can do it? Here’s a simple 3 step plan to landing your first paid gig…
Step 1 - Create A Portfolio
Every brand is going to ask to see your portfolio. A showcase of your previous work. You can use a range of online tools to create your portfolio. I’ve seen creators use website builders, Canva or even a PDF. There’s no right or wrong tool as long as it covers some simple points.

• Show videos of your UGC work
• Display your rates
• Provide contact details

If you don’t have any previous UGC videos, find some items around your home that you use and pretend you are creating UGC for that product. Remember: TikTok is high energy so being super enthusiastic about the product.
Step 2 - Be Active On Social Media
Building a social media presence is essential but time consuming. If you don’t have much time, start on Twitter. Use it as a journal to document your UGC. Keep it realistic and share any of your learnings.
If you include the hashtag #UGCCreator #UGC in your profile or username you’ll likely attract more brands.
Step 3 - Join A Discovery Network
Step 1 & 2 are both great but there’s actually a much simpler way to land gigs easily. I use a tool called GotContent.io In simple terms, it’s a directory of UGC jobs posted by brands but under the surface it’s much more than that.
As a UGC creator you create an account and fill in your details. Be as specific as you can here otherwise you won’t see relevant job listings. Once your profile is complete you will be shown a list of UGC jobs that match your attributes (age, gender, interest etc…) This saves hours of scrolling through Twitter to find jobs that you fit the requirements for. You click the apply button and are directly connected with the brand. No third-party taking a cut of your fee.
It’s also super handy because you are given your own portfolio page which can be sent to any prospective brands to showcase you.
Hope these come in handy and if you have any questions feel free to drop me a message…

I'm the kind of person that spends hours on creating a character, even if their face is covered 90% of the time by a helmet. As that type of person, nothing kills my desire to start an hours-long ad hoc Star Citizen session than being greeted by a character creation menu I wasn't expecting.
I would think that character creation is also a static game feature - I can't recall any updates being done to it in the few years I've backed the game. Why can't character presets be saved in the game's cache or anywhere else to breeze through this step? I understand that resets are a part of the game, but I don't see why this can't be something that is added, especially if nothing is being done to character creation.

tl;dr Bohol will be going dark together with other subreddits to protest Reddit’s new API pricing.

What's going on?

A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.

What's the plan?

On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
The two-day blackout isn't the goal, and it isn't the end. Should things reach the 14th with no sign of Reddit choosing to fix what they've broken, we'll use the community and buzz we've built between then and now as a tool for further action.
What can you do?

1. Complain. Message the mods of /reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on /reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
   
2. Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join us at our sister sub at /ModCoord.
   
3. Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
   
4. Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible.
   

Further reading
https://www.reddit.com/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/
https://www.reddit.com/apolloapp/comments/13ws4w3/had_a_call_with_reddit_to_discuss_pricing_bad/
https://old.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/1401qw5/incomplete_and_growing_list_of_participating/
https://www.reddit.com/SubredditDrama/comments/1404hwj/mods_of_rblind_reveal_that_removing_3rd_party/
https://www.reddit.com/redditdev/comments/13wsiks/api_update_enterprise_level_tier_for_large_scale/jmolrhn/?context=3
edit: Open Letter regarding API pricing
edit 2: 14 reports on this thread so far, and thanks for the awards! One report read as follows, "Kinda fucked up you mods wouldn't participate in the Covid disinfo blackout but here you are trying to protect your bottom line. pathetic tbh"...just wanted to set the record straight that EarthPorn did participate in the covid misinformation black out a year + ago. Not sure which bottom line you are referring to since mods are unpaid volunteers, but maybe report again or if you have a spine actually modmail to let us know your grievance.

Hi everyone just a brief background of our relationship, we are in relationship for 3 years and 3 months. She wanna go to Australia to work and study because she said its really her dream. Based on my research, the Student Visa pathway is the easiest way to migrate but also the most financially unsafe path. She plans to borrow money from my mom and her colleagues/relatives. I already told her many times before na malaki ang financial burden kapag SV and needs a lot of savings. She said na kakayin daw niya and yung utang niya babayaran niya while working there. Yes malaki ang minimum wage sa Australia pero 20 hrs/ week lang ang allowable hrs na mag work ang student visa holders. Its only enough to support her basic needs doon.
Is it normal for me na my doubts ako? Or I lack trust on her lang? Or Im just really fearful? Gusto ko lang naman sana na whats best for her eh. I plan to take skilled visa migration route but I only had 4 overall years work exp as Civil Engineer? Can I qualify?
Please enlighten me thank you.

Hello all, let me know if this isn't the right place to post so I can take down. I'm looking for some guidance on email server improvements.
History: Our small software shop was created over 20 years ago delivering SaaS. Most of our customers were using freemail accounts for their business (e.g. [email protected]), and part of our offering was to host their domain and email. This was thrown in as a freebie on the rest of the service. Since then we've grown and have a lot of customers using the mail server. I was hired a few years ago as a developer and like all small shops I took on several roles. The most painful of which is the mail server management.
Setup: Our server is running Debian with Postfix for smtp and Dovecot for imap. There's a number of auxilary services running including fail2ban, postfwd, amavis, spamassassin, clamav, mysql, opendkim, and rainloop. We've also got an in house anti spam filter that aggregates data from spamassasin, clamav, and rbls for a more complete ip blocking tool. We're currently around 250 users, but planning on adding more as our customer base increases. This is hosted on AWS and is costing us around $60/month. We host somewhere around 75 domains, each domain only having a few users.
My problem: The mail server is getting cumbersome due to all the moving parts, and beginning to take more of my time. I've implemented security practices such as SPF, DKIM, and DMARC, and I'm using ParsedMarc to monitor. But I feel like I'm always 2-3 steps behind the rest of the industry. I can't get ahead of any industry best practices until it becomes a problem, and our latest problem was Yahoo putting our email into spam. This didn't come with any warning or error until users started reporting it, the recovery path was the longest I've ever experienced.
My general frustrations with tools I have available are there's no Web Interface/UI to really manage these tools as a group. Every service has a different config, and is integrated in a different way.
So my questions for you are :
1) Is there an email service that supports email hosting at a comparable price? Ditching the email server entirely and moving to something hosted would be great if it's the right price. With the number of users and domains we have, providers like Google, AWS WM, MS, Zoho all charge much more than we're currently paying and the management savings isn't likely to make up the difference.
2) Is there any source I can go to to stay ahead of best practices like SPF, DKIM, etc so I don't get blindsided by random emails getting silently discarded?
3) Is there any industry standard tool I should be using that would replace 1 or more services to improve integration?
4) Any tools to help monitor the mail server? Once in a while, one or our users passwords gets into the wild, and I wake up to see 1000 emails in the outbound postfix queue that are getting rightfully slow walked by the remote servers.
We've grown so organically in the last few years I'm feeling very compelled to get ahead of any issues while I can, so any input from the experts on this sub would be greatly appreciated!

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We got together at in 2016, married in 2020, moved in together July 2021. All was seeming pretty good, but after a while it was like we were suffocating one another, the passion and emotion drained from our love, and love just became a fact of life like air being clear or the sky being blue, completely uninteresting.
Her Dad died in January, we went to Hungary to see the funeral, but the family tried to get my... do I say ex-wife now? wife at the time anyway, tried getting her to arrange everything. I saw the man's corpse, it hadn't been done up or anything because we weren't actually there legally.
After we got back from Hungary for the next 3 weeks she never really spoke to me, there was a look of hatred in her eyes whenever we made eye contact. And in March she moved out under the guise of looking after her Mum's house while her Mum was in Hungary. She ended up staying there indefinitely and not returning, as a result I could no longer afford the place and had to move back in with my parents. She broke up with me very cattily over the phone saying quite chirpily "yeah... it's not working out". After a few weeks it seemed like we were on the rise, we were no longer planning a divorce, but instead planning a future, the relationship had turned into this quasi-long distance relationship even though we only lived 7 miles apart we saw each other once every two weeks.
Between April and May she seemed really invested in us, the look of hatred in her eyes was replaced by the original gaze of love she had when we first got together. We went out around the centre of town and enjoyed different museums and restaurants, like we were dating for the first time almost. We were both saving money for a deposit on a house, but the initial optimism I had, whilst it wasn't burning out, I was realising just how long this was going to take and I had worries about the realistic feasibility of this relationship in the meanwhile.
We met about a week ago, and I felt really cold, she asked me what was up and I told her. She really didn't like it, acting as if this stuff had all been resolved. And making me feel guilty for my own concerns. I kept bringing up couples therapy which she wasn't at all interested in, calling it pointless.
I asked her if she could take some of the stuff that's clogging my room at my parent's house up. Her computer, maybe one or two of the 14 bags of stuff she left behind. She started crying in frustration whilst ordering the cab because the app was being a pain, little did I realise at the time that was the last ounce of her energy for this relationship being released. I waved goodbye to her. And in the morning I woke up to a text saying "I'm done with you, please stop texting me". That's how 7 years of love evaporates.

TL;DR for Part 2: The trauma of AP1 induced sexual unresponsiveness towards men in my wife. When her friend found out, she took advantage and a near-fatal lesbian affair began.
SUDDEN DERAILMENT
During intimacy attempts, my wife kept shutting down due to intrusive memories of the affair plus a peculiar urge to blot out the existence of non-abusive sex. Her alters were clinging to my uncle’s ‘style’. She quickly realized that AP1 trauma had stained sex and rendered her unresponsive towards me. Aghast, she sought advice from her friend, who nabbed the chance to confess her lesbian crush. This shock prompted another alter-driven affair on June 16th, 2022. The psychologist was cancelled and my therapy savings soon spent on gifts.
Given how romantic it was, I felt replaced, invisible, abandoned (childhood feelings). I couldn’t stand the giggling, writing of poems, sexting and moaning AP2’s name in wet dreams. It sliced and diced my heart, particularly since she blinded herself to my pain no matter how I pushed her to see it (narc grandmother theme). Mrs. Cakeeater cried that she wants us both and can’t choose. The restless torment of a hypermonogamist (me) forced into ‘polyamory’ is indescribable.
June 23rd, I ranted at AP2 for stealing the Love of My Life and decided on suicide even if it means going to Hell—Heaven means nothing without my wife. Panicked AP2 called police and urged WW to save me. WW was unrecognizably hollow. While Mom handled the officers, I passed out in bitter tears, WW’s hand numbly wiping them away.
Fights started. My resentful rage was exploding while teary True Wife explained the lesbian affair is a therapy mission. She swore to end it as soon as she solves the mysteries. I refused to support it. Our unbearable stress incited the fullblown manifestation of my AFib and further heart issues for my wife. Daily vomiting turned her into skin-and-bones. We nearly died several times. That would have resulted in the immediate suicide of both My Mom and AP2, plus the demise of my grandmother. Speaking of Mom, she lost extreme amounts of weight and suffered many health issues as a result of this affair. She went through this profoundly, as Mom adores us both equally.
Eventually I put my wife’s happiness above my own and let her go: if she is meant to come back to me, she will. I spent another month in living death. True Wife kept her promise. Once she pinpointed previously-unknown traumas in herself and AP2, her alters lost their grip, the affair ended (August 13th, 2022), and Love for me flooded back. She returned a matured woman: more conscious, rational, and opposed to adultery than ever. I fell in Love with her vibrancy, we overcame the vitriol and Our Marriage resumed—sort of. Profoundly remorseful AP2 also became our best friend and biggest supporter.
A STRAINED AFTERMATH
Although both affairs had their benefits, their damage is severe. My wife was the only one in my life who didn’t derive fun from my pain or constantly break my trust. I also unquestioningly believed that she’s incapable of LOVING anyone but me. No one but her made me feel Seen, Heard, Safe, and Certain, thus nothing hurt more than losing my only reliable oasis on Earth.
Adding to agony: AP1 still highjacked our sex life. The conscious resurrection of my uncle in WW’s psyche permanently split him and I into two men and revealed that she is imprinted on him. Between bringing that into her awareness and the various desecrations, AP1 vandalized my property. Damn the timing! We were on the verge of a sex life free from trauma! I felt livid that my uncle was sidetracking Our Love again in proxy form. This was exacerbated by her alters attempts to solicit Uncle 2.0. For months I patrolled my turf obsessively while screaming inside. WW and I lived in tension despite efforts to be Loving again.
I struggled to overcome the sense that my wife is tainted. Sex slavery aside, she was always my exclusive treasure. Suddenly a specific guy’s marks were all over her and nothing was scrubbing them off. She was no longer ONLY MINE. My ownership felt diluted, invalidated, defeated. Innate aversion to others’ territory threatened to reduce interest in her—sacrilege given that she is My Twin Flame. I couldn’t allow that. Definitely not over my fucking uncle!
I put the bedroom on hold until these stains were purified, thinking it was best not to push my wife until she is ready. Damn was I wrong.
2023’s infidelity fiasco is in Part 2.

I am considering purchasing Dr. Now's book off amazon to start off but not sure I am going in blind. when my three year died in January I ate myself from 260 to 320 pounds. food made me happy. it brought me solace when my son died..
My blood pressure is not good.
Now Its unbearable to go up and down stairs in my own home, I am heaving mess when I have to walk. Hills kill me and now that I reside in pittsburgh everything is a walk or a hill..
I struggle to lift anything. I have no energy..if I could stay in bed all day I would.
I am going to thearpy starting next week, I am rebuilding my life in all areas. My family and Boyfriend Want me around. I need to start with my weight and health.
Any advice, books.. recipe websites. There is so much infomation that it is overwhleming.

I didn’t hate the finale, it just took me a few rewatches of S1 to 5 to get my head around it for me to see where the writers were going with it. Now I see most of the clues left around that make me believe Sarah got all her memories back. In the last two episodes we see a confused and conflicted Sarah who doesn’t know who to trust. She is fighting her demons. Sarah was psychologically damaged in mind and thoughts by the effects of the intersect and Quinn's manipulation. It brought out the killer enforcer in Sarah and she was willing to kill her husband without a second thought with no remorse. That's who Sarah has become. A lone efficient killer who has forgotten the last 5 years. It got pretty dark for Sarah who was caught in a nightmare. Chuck has only seen this cold-blooded Sarah once when she killed the agent who was going to expose Chuck as the intersect. Chuck witnessed this and was disturbed by it for months. He never saw the ruthless Sarah let loose like she did in phase 3, or the baby episode. I'm thinking Sarah might not remember the Baby episode, it happened 5 years ago too. Sarah was handed Chuck's files by Graham at the end of that episode to become Chuck's handler. This probably happened a few weeks after the baby incident in Budapest. I don't believe Sarah losing 5 years of her memories created a new Sarah, just an older version of Sarah before she met Chuck at Buy More. This Sarah is not the Sarah he fell in love with. Chuck even admitted he has lost her. This Sarah is broken and lost and has the feeling of not belonging. We see Chuck losing it and is unable to control his emotions. We see Chuck doing whatever it takes to win the old Sarah back, even if he has to start all over again. This Sarah is now a cold trained assassin, but Chuck believes his Sarah is still in there somewhere.This Sarah still has emotions and Chuck uses it to his advantage that backfired badly for him. Sarah subconsciously listens to Chuck who tries reasoning, lowering Sarah's guard a few times. We see Chuck getting through to Sarah, We saw this when Sarah was uploading the intersect onto the glasses and pulled a gun on Chuck, Casey and Morgan. She let him lower her gun and she didn't know why. He makes her vulnerable to being able to switch the glasses until Quinn interrupts her thoughts and brings her back to spy mode. Sarah quickly reverts back to cold blooded assassin and Chuck fails with consequences. We also saw what happened when Chuck took her to their dream home to jog her memory. He is getting through to her emotions and then her brain kicks her back into spy mode and she lashes out. Sarah was cold and ruthless after her memories were suppressed, but when she began to open up and trust in Chuck and believe his stories, we see Sarah seeking out Chuck as she always has been since the pilot. She told Chuck she needed to go away to find herself, but something kept bringing her back. CHUCK. She was going to disappear forever after killing Quinn but came back after 2 weeks and asked for Chuck's help in tracking down Quinn. Sarah kept coming back to Chuck. I don't think she understands why yet. This is a throwback to all the times Sarah was going to leave in season 1,2 and 3. She never did because she always followed her heart which belonged to Chuck. So, in her subconscious mind she could never bring herself to leave Chuck and probably didn't even know why she kept hanging around. Just like Carla said “Chuck, she doesn't even know she is in love with you”. Sarah needs to do what she does best. Follow her heart. Like Chuck said to Morgan and Morgan reminding Chuck to follow his heart, not his head. I believe the same thing can be said of Sarah. All those times Sarah was going to leave in those seasons, she was following her head, but her heart kept saying no. She chose love each time. CHUCK. Ellie advises Chuck that Sarah fell in love with him before. Chuck can do it again. Sarah will remember. Emotions and feelings are powerful things. Find Sarah, spark some of those feelings. He now believes he can get Sarah back. Chuck's love for her is too strong and is willing to do anything. We see Chuck making it his mission to capture Sarah's heart at all costs and it worked by just being himself, the guy she fell in love with. He protected her from Quinn's shot and the authorities. He forgives her for attacking and trying to kill him multiple times. He allowed her to run to protect her. When everyone gave up on her and insisted she was gone. Chuck never gave up on Sarah. He still believes his Sarah was in there somewhere. Once Sarah let go of her demons from the torture and her beaten soul, Chuck showed her the man she fell in love with. He will always be there for her, be by her side and put her first. These selfless acts began to calm Sarah who needed Chuck. We see a calm and quiet Sarah who is recovering her stolen memories and is slowly remembering and reverting back to Chuck's Sarah in the later part of S5 13. All because of chuck' influences.
The first time I watched S5 E12 & 13, it did bother me. Watching all 5 seasons again put it into perspective for me and made more sense as there are clues over the five seasons why I think Sarah slowly regains her memories. We see Morgan slowly regaining his memories, remembering little details like the vault where he hid the intersect glasses and watching movies to initiate. In Phase 3, we see Chuck fully regain his memories from Sarah's kiss. I see no reason why Sarah can't regain hers. I don’t think Sarah regained all of her memories after the kiss. It will take time, but I think she will, eventually as it is suppressed, not erased. The dream house was the start of a long and lonely road for Sarah to find herself. S12 and13 is all about Sarah picking up bits and pieces of her memories, feelings and places. When she saw her name, that was the first sign, but it wasn't enough to convince Sarah. She needs more proof, hence Casey with the CD logs. You can see as Sarah watches more of the video logs how emotionally she gets and begins to believe. By day 564 of the log, we see the tears and hand over her heart. She is remembering and her feelings are slowly coming back but not feeling it yet. We see Sarah remembering things like arranging the cups because they were not right at the wienerlicious. Irene Demova and her writing of her name. We are given clues that she does not know why she remembers certain things like the Irene demova to defuse the bomb. I think the biggest clue is the beach, she remembers it's an important place for them, but doesn’t know why. She also remembers the exact spot where they sat on the beach. You can see the palm trees in the pilot and final episode. 6 tall ones and a little one. These are all important details/clues that her memories are returning, but it is just scattered for now. I also think Chuck telling her their story jugged her memories, judging by Sarah’s laughing and crying while he was reciting their stories. The kiss was the final piece of the puzzle that showed Sarah was remembering and her feelings for Chuck were coming back. Sarah said it all in S3 E13, that she fell for him the moment she met him at the buy more. Another clue. So I can see why it was easy for Sarah to regain those feelings for Chuck once again. Chuck reminded her of who she really is. I don't think Sarah ever fell out of love with Chuck. Her love was suppressed. There are clues everywhere in both episodes. You just got to find them. In E13 at the club, watch closely as they dance and Sarah says “Get me close” and Chuck misinterprets it and pulls her closer to him. Sarah exhales and says, “No close to Renny”. The closeness sparks some real feelings from Sarah. They nearly kissed, her mouth opened but they pulled back at the last minute when Renny answered his phone loudly. Their noses are touching. Sarah's feelings for Chuck are definitely coming back in this scene.
In the scene where Sarah comes over to talk to Chuck in the courtyard in S12. She said I believed everything you told me about us but she wasn't feeling it. The kiss is another throwback to that scene because now she feels it. She asked Chuck to kiss her because her feelings are coming back and Sarah wants to remember more and I think she does. I believe Chuck got his Sarah back in the end.
The kiss to me also proves their love is so strong and pure that even with Sarah’s memories stolen, Sarah chose Chuck once again even when she was struggling to remember a lot of details about their lives together, because deep down the love within her heart for Chuck never died. It was always there waiting for Chuck to unlock with one magical kiss, just like she unlocked his memories with a magical kiss in phase
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I'm having a brain fart trying to put all of this into a spreadsheet in a way that's easy to digest. We're looking at a 7 seat Model Y currently in inventory versus just keeping her Civic for another couple years. I make good money, and she'll have a good income next spring after she finishes med school. She's thinking it's better to buy in 18 months since the Civic is paid off. I agree with her but I'm also just trying to calculate the costs over the next 18 months to see if it's actually better to buy one now versus waiting and buying in in 18-24 months as there's always a chance that prices could climb back up on the Y.
Here are the numbers with which I'm working:

• Tesla Model Y $54,940 at 5% interest through my credit union over 72 months.
• Sell Civic to CarMax for $16,000 (already have an offer).
• Use $10,000 as the down payment.
• Keep $6,000 to go towards loan payments.
• $7,500 tax credit to go towards loan payments or refinance by using some or all of it as more money down (yes we qualify for the whole credit).
  • No additional local incentives where we live.
• Factor in cost of fuel at $3.25/gallon, 30MPG, 15K miles per year.
• Factor in cost of electric with 90% home charging at $0.18/kWh, and 10% public charging at $0.25/kWh, 15K miles per year.
• Insurance: Civic $678 for 12 months, Model Y $802 for 12 months (Progressive quote on my policy).

I found this spreadsheet but I can't for the life of me get it to calculate final EV numbers correctly. EV Cost of Ownership.xlsx. I ended up with a 6 year cost of ownership of over a million dollars lol.
My ultimate goal here is to justify selling the civic, only putting $10K down and using that leftover $6K + $7,500 credit to essentially "cover the monthly costs" until she'd want to buy anyways. Especially factoring in the fuel savings (she spends about $50-$60/week right now traveling to/from hospitals), rough numbers feel like it would be pretty even. She's wanted an SUV for a couple years now, we plan to get pregnant over the next couple months where it would definitely come in handy anyways once the baby is here. I'm trying to show her these numbers so she doesn't have to feel guilty about the purchase when I know we can already afford it on my salary alone.
I know this is a lot, and thanks in advance to someone that can point me in the right direction!