Not really looking for advice or suggestions, per se. But curious if others have structured approaches to how they build their squad after gaining promotion.
Really enjoy getting a squad promoted and building them for the new division. Typically with a Championship clubs promoting into the Prem... and the Prem money makes it a bit different than it might be in other leagues. Most of these saves last 2-3 years as the Prem can be un-fun in some ways. I've had several saves on FM23 where I've done this with Luton and to celebrate them actually doing it in reality, I've taken up another Luton save. Just finished the first season with promotion. In June 2023, getting deals done for the first season in the Prem in my usual way and I was struck by the midnight thought of "maybe other FMers do this differently".
A bit of context... Luton a bit unique in that over half of the first team is out of contract in the summer of 2023. So the squad clear out that is often part of the process of building up for the new division happens naturally, unless you extend a lot of contracts (and you can't afford to). Rather than splitting focus between clearing out the existing players and adding new players, the manager can focus mostly on additions.
With Luton, the needs are significant. The squad is good for the Championship but few will effectively make the step up. Using a 3-3-2-2 formation, and was able to add a few pieces in the winter window after an unexpected sale. Despite that, the needs are... starting GK, backup GK, at least two and probably three CBs... starting LWB and a backup, starting RWB, starting DM, at least one backup MC, and two strikers, one of whom can start and hopefully score some goals at the Prem level. So yeah... a lot.
The money in the Prem is fairly consistently in the 30-40m range for transfer budget, and around 500-600K per week in wages. Get Norwich or Burnley promoted and the wage budget might be higher, but I've seen similar with a few different clubs.
My typical approach starts well before the season ends. I'm assessing the current squad through the season, deciding who to keep, who to get rid of, and what positions to target. I generally having the squad sorted as early into the pre-season as possible, rather than looking to add key pieces late in the window after the season has already started. Scouting is being done through the season in preparation. I end up with an ever-growing shortlist of players. Sometimes even several shortlists to organize things more effectively.
In terms of recruitment, I try to vary it. Use all the typical tricks. Backload deals to stretch the money out. Constantly watch for transfer listed players (can get someone like Rob Holding or Ben Wilmot or Will Hughes for a bargain sometimes. spend time looking through the squads of relegated squads in every big league. Spend time looking at the reserve and youth squads of the Big Six, as they have talented prospects they are sometimes available for cheap (bonus as man are English) and can be nice developmental depth. Free signings for depth. Some veterans with strong mentals and leadership. Try to avoid too much focus on the wonderkids, as they don't always represent immediate value (as in you are paying for potential rather than current ability). And timing is a big piece of this for me - i want the squad as settled as possible as early as possible. More time to build cohesion and morale, as that can be key in a survival race.
So the "there may be another way" thought popped into my head as I was getting close to July 1st in the save. I felt concern that there were still significant squad needs I hadn't addressed yet... but its genuinely still just mid-summer. The window runs for two more months. And waiting for deals has possible value... some players will drop in asking in price (and wage demands) as the window goes on. Other clubs recruitment will mean some of their players may become expendable.
TL/DR... do you have a systematic approach to recruitment and squad building after a promotion? If so, what is that approach?

Hey everyone, not having a full conversation with her about this as it was more so a thought of hers.
She goes, there should be a place for people that never had healthy life habits their whole life to go to for a few months and learn normal sleep patterns, healthy eating, a routine, healthier lifestyle.
Firstly, if we simply think of healthy habits with food.
Here's in my opinion and from the top of my head, why it wouldn't work in most cases.
• Is it going to teach you how to cook? Portion sizes? Nutrition? Technically, we have Google and Youtube. There's truly no reason to not be able to learn how to cook healthier food if we truly want to. However, it can be hard to learn about nutrition and portion sizes, have the right information. Also "healthy" can mean different things to different people and having actual professionals teaching you could be useful.
• Is there going to be therapy? If you haven't had healthy habits and healthy ways of coping your whole life, chances are there's bigger issues that learning healthier habits in a strict setting won't help solve.
• How is it going to teach you accountability and consistency? I'm sure that if such program did exist, even tho I assume it does exist to some extent..(detox/therapy) How is it going to truly teach you how to be accountable for yourself and actions because that's my big issue with this..We often have everything to do the changes but we don't.
We know what's good and what's not good for us overall and what we should be doing but we simply don't. Which is why therapy and working on our inner self is important to succeed longterm. The issue is much bigger than simply learning. It's about implementing it without being in a setting that forces us to and that makes it simple for us to follow instructions.
• Most people will go back to their old habits. I think such program could be helpful as a starter point for someone that's already in the mindset of wanting to change and learn, maybe someone that has already learned a bit on their own and changed their lifestyle. Then why the need for such program? We have google and many others resources to learn. The issue is more with taking actions, consistency, accountability and having the right support.
• Is it going to help you find what works for you..Personalized experience? I think overall, healthy habits and weightloss is roughly the same for everyone but different things work for different people. Theres many variations. Is it going to be a program leaning towards low carb or avoiding sweets or an actual factual program to teach balance healthy habits. That's also without taking into account people with ED that could potentially enter these programs.
• People are going to go into it with the main goal to lose weight, not a lifestyle change. My mom meant more in terms of actually learning but we all know, most people that would be interested in this are the same people going to fad diets and the yoyo dieters. People will go into it not to truly learn and change their lifestyle but with the purpose of weightloss.
Overall, I think that we have all been there, wishing someone could just lead us to the right direction but I think ultimately it's a lot of trial and errors. It's a lot of learning for ourself. It's taking accountability and taking actions.
Taking actions, not as in JUST DO IT..but as in actually going to therapy, finding the support, looking up these support groups, learning healthier recipes at home, making researches for yourself. To me that sounds like an easier and better learning expenrience than being 3months in some program.
I went through so many phases during my journey and no program would have prepared me for it.
I guess, I just don't see how such program would lead to longterm success regardless of if it's to keep healthy habits or lose weight longterm because it'll only work on the people that are there to actually do the work. And even those people will eventually fail and will need to get back up and that's easier to do in a setting that don't really let you learn for yourself.
Obviously, there's much more to it all and we do need support and help from others and we can find those in professionals, therapy, online groups. To me, it always comes down to but what's preventing you to do it now, on your own, with the resources you have on hand.
And I'm not saying this because look at me now, I lost 160lbs on my own. I wasn't on my own. I had this community, I had the Loseit app, I add many youtubers, I had journaling, I had supportive loved ones, I read on so many things, I fell in love with the process and I did the work.
Ultimately, I was still 25yo when I decided to do the changes and when it just was the right time for me and that's what's so rough..The chances that someone entering such program for the right reasons and because they're just ready for it, is highly unlikely to me.
It'll be the people that have already had their fair share of diets failing and this program regardless of if it can be successful in some cases just won't be in most cases.

Background: 18y/o living in Texas. In 2 months I will move to Missouri to get a business(maybe acctcy/finance) degree. I am blessed to have supportive/relatively fat parents who have helped me buy my car & sending me to college. Throughout highschool I worked a part time job to help pay for my car and begin saving. My parents have plenty of money, but they like me to work hard and earn for myself, so I made a $200 monthly car payment to them along with buying my own gas, food, etc. I amassed some pretty good scholarship money, and although my parents have the means to pay for my college 10 times over, I will still owe them $1500 a semester(very reasonable imo) to have “some skin in the game”
Financial Situation:
NW: ~30k
Will probably make about $2000 more before leaving for college. In college I plan on continuing to DCA into sp500(VFIAX)/vanguard target retirement 2070(VSVNX). Will maybe trim VGSTX holdings.
Cash: $6k
Taxable Brokerage Account Holdings:
VUSXX(money market 5ish%) $15,000
VGSTX(mf of mfs) $4,100
VFIAX(sp500 mf) $3,100
Roth IRA Holdings:
VFIAX(sp500 mf) $3,200
VSVNX(target date 2070 mf) $1,200
Expenses
Budgeting $400/month for college
$300/month auto investment
$1500/semester tuition.
No paychecks except for during summers and likely 1 month over winter break.
Thinking of donating plasma this summein college as I am big and healthy and it seems like a pretty free ~$40-100 per week.
Also if it helps I have 1 chase credit card(opened on my 18th bday about 2 months ago) with a credit limit of $1k and 1% cashback.
What should be my strategy as far as investing, spending, lifestyle after college, setting myself up for home ownership, how to possibly generate income while in college, etc.
ANY AND ALL ADVICE SUPER APPRECIATED

I have been dating Jay for a few months now and when we started, everything was going great. He lives pretty far from me but he would come see me 2-3 times a week and our communication was on point. I never felt insecure about our relationship and trusted him 100%
He lives with his parents and they are pretty strict on him so he told me he didn't want to tell them about us just yet as they already find reasons to argue with him and he doesn't want them to use our relationship as ammo. His father gets mad at him if he comes home from work and doesn't go straight to sleep and also if he sleeps in even when he gets home around midnight after work and doesn't work until the afternoon. He starts technical school in august and has a home gym to work out in so I don't know what more his dad wants from him. Jay literally just stays home and goes to work, nothing else and his dad still wants more from him. Jay doest even go out anymore. I remember he came to spend the night, pretty sure lying to his parents about who he was staying with and his dad starting blowing him up around noon asking where he was at. Jay lied and said work and his dad left him alone. It's like his dad wants him to stay in the house when he's not working. He had just started a new job when we started out so he had multiple days off during the week and he would come see me for maybe an hour or two. He told me he used his friend as excuse a lot of the times when they questioned where he was at bc they knew his friend was going thru a tough time and that Jay was “helping him out”
I haven't seen him for 2 1/2 weeks and at first it was because of work, then bc a really close family friend passed away and he had dental surgery. I understood and was supportive. He's had only 2 days off of work in the last 17 days and it was only for his procedure and the funeral. Even when he’s scheduled off, he’ll pick up shifts. It's like he's purposely asking for as much work possible to get out of his house. He's even working doubles, he's worked 3 doubles since Saturday already. I miss him and he told me Saturday he was coming over to spend the night after work and I got so excited. 10 minutes after he got out of work, he told me his mom called him arguing with him about where he was at and he had to go home first. I just knew right then and there he wasn't coming so instead of making him feel like he had to choose, I told him I didn't want him to start a fight with his family. He told me he would try to see me this week.
The way he phrased his texts, he made it sound like his parents found out about us. He said that I technically am a far drive (an hour) so he understands why they trip out on him. That made me question how they knew he was coming to my city but I didn't ask. And then he said he needed to find a good day to bring his car over here. The thing is, he has an older car and he usually drives a car shared between him and his mom, in the time we've been together I've only seen him driving his own car once so then that made me question if his parents are keeping the "good" car from him since they know he can't drive too far in his car considering how much gas it takes and how driving it long distances isn't good. He wastes a full tank just driving here and back so that's about $90 right there.
Now our communication has gotten really really short. We just have like "hi how are you" convos but nothing deep. I don't know what he's been up too lately when he use to send me paragraphs about his days and he's just been kinda blocked off.
Last night was the night I started questioning our relationship. I have his location and he has mine and I've never had a problem with it, I barely even check it as I know he's always home or at work. Well last night he got off of work and we texted a bit, he was asking about my day when he suddenly stopped texting. I didn't think much of it as I assumed he got home but after 40 minutes something told me to check his location. He turned it off. It said no location found and I was so confused. I wanted to freak out bc he has NEVER done that but suddenly he felt the need to hide it? I texted him saying I had a question and it delivered so his phone didn't die and he texted back quickly. I came up with a lie saying I was going out for "taco Tuesday" and what he was doing, if he wanted to come out. He just said he sadly works a double today so he can't & appreciated the invite but never told me what he was doing. I was fuming, I wanted to ask him sooo bad why his location services was off but decided against it. I once saw all the people he has on find my friend and I'm pretty sure I saw his moms email on it. My cousin told me not to react bc I can come off crazy when whole time it probably isn't about me and more him trying to hide it from his parents if anything. I just don't known what to think and really want to give him the benefit of the doubt.
This morning came and his services are still turned off, maybe he forgot to turn them back on but now I dot know what to do. I don't know if I should bring it up to him or act nonchalant. If I bring it up then he knows I'm checking it. He's been acting so sketchy lately and he's not the type to tell me things over text, but in person. There's been times when big things happen to him and he doesn't tell me until days later when we meet in person. Im sure there's an explanation but him acting this secretive is making me feel weird. Something is off with him and the part of me that is scared to get hurt wants to text him and tell him this won't work out, even without giving him a chance to explain but then the part of me that still trusts him and know relationships take work tells me to just wait and see him to hear him out. Problem is, who knows when I'll see him again.
I don't know what to do. Should I text him saying we NEED to meet up soon or go with the flow. Should I break up with him or see what he has to say first? Technically there's no solid proof anything is wrong and last night was the first red flag. Something inside me just screams this has to do with his parents and when talking about the situation with my cousin, before I could even mention that I think his parents are controlling him, he told me that what jay is doing sounds exactly how he use to act when he was dating his ex while living his parents. That no grown man wants to admit that his parents won't let him go or do things so instead they come off as sketchy bc it's embarrassing to admit mommy and daddy still tell him what to do.
Hes an amazing guy but the no explanation for his sketchiness is driving me crazy.

Ok, maybe not the best title but hear me out:
DAE sometimes feel like they are so alien to everything society and other people seem to care about? I don't care about typical human preoccupations like love, sex or relationships because I'm aromantic and asexual. I don't have any major life goals, dreams or passions that drive me. I don't have any big ambitions or career aspirations. I'm pretty content doing my own thing and spending most of my time by myself. I don't really desire close friendships or connections with others.
In a way, it feels like I've transcended a lot of the humanity in other people. Things that seem to motivate, drive and preoccupy most of the population don't factor into my thinking or daily life at all. I feel like an outsider observer of humanity at times, rather than someone deeply embedded within human social circles or cultural practices. It's not that I see myself as superior at all, I just feel fundamentally different in how I experience and navigate the world.
Anyone else ever feel this way? Like you're peering in at humanity from the outside and just can't relate to the majority of human pursuits or pleasures? Curious if other aromantic/asexual or neurodivergent people can relate to feeling this fundamental disconnect from typical human drives and socializing.

Hi all.
I'm trying not make an essay, because I think I would make this a short story otherwise. 😅 To sum it up my husband has been spending a lot of money on just food for just himself and it has been dwindling our bank account as well as our ability to save. Our weekly food shopping for our family is around 140 including lunches and snacks for when himselfnat work, but I found out today he's been spending about an extra 100 a week on stuff like, takeaways, junk food and convienance foods for himself when at work. Then not eating his dinner when he got home which is just wasteful too.
We had a decent income but not enough to be spending on stuff like that, especially as we have kids and kids are expensive. 🥲
The lunches I make him as well are proper high calorie foods too, stuff like pasta dishes, curries, noodle dishes and other stuff like it. As well as buying him lots of snacks to bring in. It's not like there's a ban on junkfood at home, we have a press for it. 😵‍💫 He's definitely getting over 1k calories in his lunch. Recently he kept "forgetting" to bring it in a lot or coming home and saying he was too full for dinner, which had me suspicious as this is not the first time this has happened.
It's not even the second time. It caused a massive fight in the past as his habit made us miss a rent payment just last year. I noticed the next day and pulled money out of the savings to pay it. After that incident he promised he wouldn't do it again. It didn't even last a year.
To say my husband's relationship with food can be toxic is an understatement.
He has also actively been avoiding showing me our online account for our joint bank account for the last two months and getting anxious at the subject of money. He kept brushing me off but saying oh I'm busy I'll do it later. My own card got cancelled by the bank so I had to rely on my husbands card, but he was hesitant in giving it to me. But today he had to as I have to pay my car insurance this week and needed to make sure there was enough in the current account to pay for it and the car loan. And what I found was that our savings were dwindling so I looked into it further and was shocked to find all these outgoings. Just eat, mc Donald's and convienance stores on every single day he was in work. On 1 particular day last week he spent over 60 on 2 separate takeaways.
I sat looking at it for a bit just blinking in disblef. I haven't added up all the months yet but last month ir added to an extra 450 of outgoings on just takeaways and junkfood.
To say I am disappointed is an understatement. I told him we needed to have a proper discussion about it later, that what he did was bad, but to actively hide it from me was even worse. It showed he was aware that he was eating into our savings. I don't know how to approach it without getting mad or to make him understand. Last time this happened I gave him a ultimatum over hiding stuff from me, I told him I can't be with someone I don't trust and who lies to me. 😓
What is the best way to approach this? Obviously I don't want to be restricting him with money or stuff that's just crazy. At the moment ai have his card because of the card, I want to be able to give it back knowing he won't just go back to him old ways. We're a team, but I shouldn't have to be teaching him how to be fiscally reaponsible.

I've just started a couple weeks ago, but I feel like I've been getting orders left and right for 40+units under $20.
So far, my general guideline to follow has been:
•10 items or below = any price
•10 items+ = at or above $10
And etc. going in increments of 10. I just feel like this is fair because if the pay is too low, I'm essentially wasting my time looking for my items/replacements (chances are the big orders want a lot of the same thing) when I could be completing multiple smaller orders faster and making a good cash flow.
Thoughts?

I’m a lonnnng time lurker on this sub. Big golf fan ever since I started working at a sports bar where a lot of local golfers hangout. I’ve played 18 holes probably twice in my life on slow days when I probably had no business being out there. I’ve don’t plenty of chipping in my yard aiming at hula hoops back in those days before Covid when I played a couple rounds and my weakness is almost certainly driving. I have my first hour long lesson with my local club pro coming up next week and he will probably have advice on when I should come back however I’m just wondering how long my prepaid five hours of lessons is gonna last me? How soon should I be looking to go back for another one? I’ll also take just about any advice for someone starting out. I’m very fortunate when it comes to equipment. Let’s just say when the guys at my bar heard I wanted to get into golf they weren’t gonna let me show up at my lessons with my set of top flights lol.

I work in Yosemite and want to get away next weekend with my friend. We want to go camping in the Big Sur area. I’m worried that:
A) it will be booked/full and horrifically busy with tourists (the reason why we want to leave the valley for the weekend)
B) that there will still be lots of trails/parks that are closed due to this past winter.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

When I record videos and post them to YouTube, especially when I have the webcam in a small window in the top corner it can often look a little bit pixelated camera, the other stuff on the screen doesn't seem to look that way.
I currently have the webcam running in 24 frames per second 4K, I have OBS set to run on 24 frames per second as well as far as the recording frame rate, I've also tried 30 and 60 so I finally decided hey I'm going to try 24 and see if that improves it and it really didn't
Now I don't notice this as much when playing it back on the computer or my phone but when I play it back on some screens or using the YouTube app on my television I can really see that pixelation and it's driving me nuts on the scene where I have the webcam small I right clicked on the webcam and that big long menu pops up and I found scaling and I've tried landscow and bi-cubic and everything else but it still seems to be a little because you like it so what's the deal with that??
My monitor is a 1080 monitor and if I run the webcam and 1080 for some reason it just doesn't look anywhere near as good so I really want to keep the webcam on 4K so when I go to full screen which I kind of do a lot that looks much nicer.
So what can I try to make the webcam look better, I did go into the custom settings set it up for Rex 709 and envy 12 and all that stuff so I've tried everything I can think of

[Scene: The interior of the Gold & Silver Pawn Shop, Las Vegas]
RICK HARRISON: (Glances up as the door chimes, then smiles as he spots the guitar case in the customer's hand) Good afternoon! That looks like it might be interesting.
CUSTOMER: (Unlatching the case to reveal the Ibanez TOD10N-TKF Tim Henson) Hi there. I'm looking to sell this guitar. It's an Ibanez Tim Henson signature model.
RICK: (Raises his eyebrows appreciatively as he takes in the guitar) Ah, now that's a beauty. Tim Henson of Polyphia, right?
CUSTOMER: (Nods) Yeah, that's him.
RICK: Well, Tim Henson's known for his unique style, and Polyphia's created quite a name for themselves in the progressive music scene. This model was first released in 2023 if I remember right, and has some pretty cool features, like the Walnut fretboard and the Sonicore pickups.
[Rick carefully lifts the guitar out of the case and inspects it, his smile fading a bit as he checks the bridge]
RICK: (Frowns slightly) Hmm, the bridge seems a bit off. That's going to affect the sound and playability. And it looks like it might need some professional attention to get it back in proper shape.
CUSTOMER: (Looking surprised) Oh, really? I hadn't noticed.
RICK: (Nods) Yeah, it's a bit of a niche market for these specific models, and with the bridge issue, it might be harder to sell. Do you have any paperwork or original receipts?
CUSTOMER: (Hands over a folder) I've got all the original paperwork right here.
RICK: You know what? I've got a buddy who's an expert in nerdy prog rock and guitars like this. Mind if I give him a call?
CUSTOMER: Sure, I don't mind.
[Rick calls in his expert friend, MIKE, a younger man with long hair and CHON t-shirt, who examines the guitar]
MIKE: Yeah, Rick, you're right about the bridge. This could certainly affect the value of the guitar. But here's the thing - Tim Henson has quite the following. Lots of simps who would buy this guitar despite the issue.
RICK: (Confused) Simps?
MIKE: (Laughs) It means they're big fans, Rick. Really big fans. Despite the bridge issue, I think this could sell like butter to the right buyer.
RICK: (To customer) Well, considering what my buddy just told me, I'd still need to take into account the cost of repairs.
CUSTOMER: (Sighs) How much are we talking?
RICK: 5$ and a Snickers bar is the best I can do

Greetings FAUOwls,
Recently, Reddit has announced some changes to their API that may have pretty serious impact on many of it's users.
You may have already seen quite a few posts like these across some of the other subreddits that you browse, so we're just going to cut to the chase.

What's Happening

• Third Party Reddit apps (such as Apollo, Reddit is Fun, Joey and others) are going to become ludicrously more expensive for it's developers to run, which will in turn either kill the apps, or result in a monthly fee to the users if they choose to use one of those apps to browse. Put simply, each request to Reddit within these mobile apps will cost the developer money. The developers of Apollo were quoted around $2 million per month for the current rate of usage. The only way for these apps to continue to be viable for the developer is if you (the user) pay a monthly fee, and realistically, this is most likely going to just outright kill them. Put simply: If you use a third party app to browse Reddit, you will most likely no longer be able to do so, or be charged a monthly fee to keep it viable.
  
  • A big reason this matters to FAUOwls, and why we believe it matters to you, is that during our last user demographics survey, of 2,500 responses, 22.4% of users say they primarily use a third party app to browse the subreddit. Using this as sort of a sample size, even significantly reduced, is a non-negligible portion of our user base being forced to change the way they browse Reddit.
  • Some people with visual impairments have problems using the official mobile app, and the removal of third-party apps may significantly hinder their ability to browse Reddit in general. More info
  • Many moderators are going to be significantly hindered from moderating their communities because 3rd party mobile apps provide mod tools that the official app doesn't support. This means longer wait times on post approvals, reports, modmails etc.
• NSFW Content is no longer going to be available in the API. This means that, even if 3rd party apps continue to survive, or even if you pay a fee to use a 3rd party app, you will not be able to access NSFW content on it. You will only be able to access it on the official Reddit app. Additionally, some service bots (such as video downloaders or maybe remindme bots) will not be able to access anything NSFW. In more major cases, it may become harder for moderators of NSFW subreddits to combat serious violations such as CSAM due to certain mod tools being restricted from accessing NSFW content.
  

Note: A lot of this has been sourced and inspired from a fantastic mod-post on wow, they do a great job going in-depth on the entire situation. Major props to the team over there! You can read their post here

Open Letter to Reddit & Blackout

In lieu of what's happening above, an open letter has been released by the broader moderation community, and FAUOwls will be supporting it.
Part of this initiative includes a subreddit blackout (meaning, the subreddit will be privatized) on June 12th, lasting 24-48 hours or longer. Cheers,
FAUOwls Mod Team

Throwing this out there as a suggestion to people looking for "gig" type ways to earn money on the road.
Find the biggest skydiving dropzone (DZ) in your area, go there and learn to pack parachutes.
Packing parachutes for other skydivers (usually shortened to "packing" or "being a packer") is a fantastic job that can function extremely well with van life.

• Fairly low barrier to entry (it's a physically demanding job, but not difficult to learn)
• Good pay, often directly in cash
  • Typical pay is $10/pack + tips, and after a couple months of practice on a busy weekend you can knock out 30 pack jobs in a day.
  • During "boogies" it's not unheard of to do 50 pack jobs in a day, and sometimes very good packers with a solid client base will do upwards of 70 packs in a day if they're REALLY hitting it hard (It'll take you a few seasons to get to this level)
• Van-life and generally being a bohemian bum is REALLY common amongst skydivers, no one will bat an eye at you living in a van. Plenty of skydivers already do.
• Most big dropzones have campgrounds attached to them with various levels of facilities, and very reasonable rates for monthly stays as long as you're somehow integrated with the skydiving community
• Highly seasonal, many DZs have a "busy" season or are only open for the few months of the year that the weather is good. This gives a reason/excuse for a van dweller to follow the good weather, many will head south for the winter to pack at DZs in Florida, Texas or Arizona.

Packing is very "informal" work, there's usually not a clearly defined structure to it and the culture around packing varies DZ to DZ. So it's good for people who are very friendly, have great soft skills, and get along well with others.
A very general guide to becoming a packer is as such:

• Familiarize yourself with how parachutes work. Understand what all the parts of a rig are, just google around. There's tons of YouTube videos.
  • You don't need to be an expert, but terms like bridle, pilot chute, deployment bag, RSL (reserve static line), should all be familiar to you. You should be able to look at a rig and identify all the parts.
• Head to the dropzone, ask around and find the most senior packer. Sometimes this is an official role, but usually not. It's often whoever has been there the longest and has the most experience, the person that everyone knows and looks up to (often someone who's been packing there for 10 years or more).
• Tell them you'd like to become a packer, they'll size you up and try and learn a bit more about you and figure out if you're worth investing their time in. It helps a lot if you already have skydiver friends, or are trying to become a skydiver yourself. Packing is often about becoming part of the community at the DZ, so the more you can integrate yourself the better.
• The senior packer will either assign you to one of the other more experience packers, or take you on as their own apprentice. They'll give you a packing class, show you how the rigs work, how they're set up, and how to pack them. Sometimes you can expect to pay them ~$200 for this, as it will take a few hours at least and sometimes an entire afternoon.
• They'll start finding some client rigs for you to pack, while they watch. Usually you won't get paid for this, the client pays the packer overseeing you. Sometimes they'll split it with you, but sometimes not (as because they're watching you directly, they're not able to make money doing other pack jobs).
• Once they feel you're ready to go on your own, you're left to find some people to start packing for. Usually there's kind of an informal system about this, jumpers who don't already have a packer they like will be handed out to the less busy packers. A good senior packer will also try and give you clients who have older and less aggressive canopies (brand new canopies are slippery and harder to pack).
  • Usually the person who taught you how to pack will keep an eye on you and watch what you're doing for the first few weeks. Expect to pay your senior packer a dollar or two per pack job that you do.
• PRACTICE. A LOT. The more you do it, the faster you'll get and the more familiar you'll get with different types of systems and canopies. There's a lot to learn.
• Once you've been packing for a few seasons, you might think about getting your FAA Rigger's license. This certifies you to do things like repacking reserve parachutes, and doing gear inspections. You can also start packing the big Tandem rigs, which DZs typically pay quite a bit more for a pack job on.

GIGANTIC, MASSIVE, HUGE WARNING!!!
Spending a lot of time at a dropzone has been correlated with a desire to skydive. This desire has a direct causal link to losing all of the money that you have made packing.

(tw for su1c1de, SA, and homophobia) + (sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language)
I've (F18) always struggled with my mental health to the point of attempting the S-word more than once, and I've always been the weird and ugly classmate making my self esteem very weak, I'm also part of the lgbtq so I've been a victim of homophobia too. Although the S-word attempts only happened in high school I still hated myself in elementary school and middle school just a bit less, it all became unbearable in high school because I'm italian and the school system is extremely toxic and all that pressure just became too much. This is why last year my parents gave me permission to change school and so this year I was in a new school with younger and nicer teachers that care more about the students' mental health. When I decided to change school I also decided to change myself. I started thinking differently and more positively, I overcame my social anxiety (as much as I could) and I finally started feeling good in my body, I also went thought a huge glow up and I actually feel very pretty now. I started school and it was awesome, everyone was so nice and thanks to my improved mental health I was able to become friends with everyone and I now have plenty of friends even from different classes. I thought everything was perfect for a little while, I was wrong. In this new school I never mentioned my sexual orientation because I know if I did I wouldn't have half of the friends I do (I know I shouldn't hide it but I want to avoid problems) and I've also tried to hide some of the things I like such as drawing and poetry because I know I would be considered a loser (yk how teenagers are). Well ofc I had to be stupid and come out to this one girl in my class who I'll call E. E is also part of the lgbtq so I felt "safe" telling her. Big mistake. She doesn't hide her sexuality and I'm glad for her but I'm different. She always makes jokes about being gay and since she knows about me she's always trying to include me in her jokes even tho I clearly look uncomfortable. An example is the time she took the "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands" song and changed it to "if you're gay" and took my hands and forcefully clapped them together, I was so uncomfortable and I still don't understand how she didn't understand it. Another problem with her is she's always touching me and it feels like I'm being violated every day. She's always touching my leg and sometimes she even squeezes it, she also always touches my waist like a girlfriend would and it's so uncomfortable and upsetting, I've been a victim of SA (from my ex boyfriend) and that unsettling feeling reminds me of him and it's so hard to keep calm when she's doing that. I'm asexual and she knows but she still touches me in that provocative way and it's so bad, not to mention she has a boyfriend. One time she was all sad telling me how she used to have a crush on a girl and she was extra touchy with her (I'm guessing she meant the way she is with me) and she knew she was asexual and one day she found out that the girl hated that she was touchy because it made her uncomfortable and she was asking me how asexuality works, I explained and she was acting like a beaten puppy and saying stuff like "so you can't touch an asexual person on the leg?" (I was holding back from slapping her) I explained it's not a matter of sexuality but of boundaries and she seemed to have understood but the next day it was the same as always. I found out she used to like me and although she has a boyfriend I believe she still does, she's always touching me plus today I told her about a guy I like in school (because I'm trying to talk to him before school ends and I wanted advice) and she tried to find reasons why I shouldn't like him; she said he smokes (because she knows I don't) but I literally don't care + I've never seen him smoke and neither did my other friends that have been here longer than E, she also said he's an a-hole when he's literally super chill and she tried saying he's got a lot of girls (implying he's a cheater) when she literally doesn't know him and he's the one who's been cheated on by his ex (and I've been told he was really heartbroken after that which I'm sorry for). I'll also mention how she's literally so frustrating and annoying, she's sitting next to me and it feels like a curse, she's ALWAYS touching my stuff and taking it without asking; she's also such a mum-friend wannabe, she always has her eyebrows slightly raised and I can't explain how annoying that expression looks, she literally always does things I never asked her to do and it might sound nice but it's so annoying, for example we were doing german exercises before a test and I wanted to get a good mark so I was trying hard and she literally just took my book and crossed all the answers without asking, I was so confused and mad I swear. Like who asked you??? what??? She's just so annoying and frustrating and she makes me uncomfortable and I can't do this anymore she's making me feel mad every day and it's having an horrible impact on my mental health, I'm tired of always being mad and frustrated, I just want to be happy again, this feels like a curse. This was very long but it feels good to finally say it and get it out of my system.

This world is very big. There are billions of people in this world but there are not a lot of good people. Some people will try to take advantage of you, pester you, try to break you, in short hurt you for their own benefit or just for fun.
Some people will be nice to you, try to help you, be there you but they'll only be doing such things because they have an ulterior motive. They want something from you.
Don't entertain a toxic person(s) just because you want to be nice and don't want to hurt anyone. The things they are doing is nothing but a game for them. The only way to win the game they are playing is to not entertain them. Voilà! A win for you
Having said that there are also good people in this world who will always be there for you unconditionally. Those are the people you need to love and care for.
What have you learnt recently?

Hi everyone! My partner and I currently live in a condo building with his grandmother (83, he helps her with tasks around the house and does errands for her), our 5 year old Pomeranian and our 10 year old cat. Both the cat and the dog moved in when I moved in as they were my pets beforehand. After being together for around 8.5 years, living together for about 3 years, my partner wanted a dog of his own to add to the family. My dog can be shy and will become very reactive towards a dog that gets too much in her face, so we were being very selective on what dog we would rescue.
My partner found a dog online through a local rescue. The dog is a 5 month old ACD who is deaf. We applied and answered each and every question honestly and thoroughly. We really wanted to make sure our lifestyle and home situation would benefit the puppy and keep our grandmother and pets at least somewhat comfortable. They asked who we live with, what our home situation is like and how the other pets in our home behave as well as what our daily schedule typically looks like.
Shortly after applying, we got scheduled for a phone interview. I was at work during the interview, but my partner told me about it. The adoption coordinator was talking about how this dog’s energy level was closer to moderate as my partner explained our dog’s current routine. We usually take her for 2 hour long walks, one in the morning, one at night. We also give her a lot of enrichment options throughout the day (puzzle feeders, sniff games, toys, activities, Kongs etc.) He explained that his grandmother lives with us, her age and health level (she has some balance and breathing issues) and that he is her full time caregiver. The coordinator told us that all of that should work well. They basically were singing this dogs praises. Talking about how well he is crate, house and leash trained, how gentle he is and how his energy level is a lot lower than other ACD, so everything should work great. My partner then had to speak to “the foster” who kept saying how much of a saint he was for being interested in this dog. They talked to the trainer we work with about my dog’s process with reactivity. They said how amazing it was that we never gave up on my dog. We found out after adoption that we didn’t even speak to the actual foster, but the head of the rescue that our rescue was partnering with.
We get approved, do a virtual house check which consisted of about a 2 minute FaceTime call and we get told to make payment upfront then pick up the dog the following Saturday. We arrive and he’s a bit rambunctious, but decently behaved otherwise. He was a huge sweetheart. As time has gone on, he is becoming a menace to us, his grandmother and my dog.
He SCREAMS in his crate immediately and non stop. He keeps launching himself at our grandmother and biting her, luckily she hasn’t been hurt yet. He antagonizes my dog unless we have him leashed and behind a baby gate, which is creating reactivity for her. He picked up our hand signals and training pretty quickly (I’m talking 2-3 reps of a signal - like sit or down and he’s got it flawlessly) but if he doesn’t want to do it, he will bark at us and then proceed to jump on us and bite us. I have bruises and scratches all over me. They told us he was very well leash trained, but he can barely walk on leash without attacking the leash or jumping and biting us.
We have been bringing him to the park at morning and at night to run on the longline. We have been giving him kongs, food related puzzle games and have been training non stop. He is just terrorizing us. My partner is so anxious about everything he isn’t sleeping more than a few hours a night just to be woken up super early by the dog screaming in his crate. He has lost 15 pounds because we don’t even have time to separate ourselves and have a meal. We aren’t spending any time together, he can’t help his grandma at all because he can’t have the dog around her and can’t get away from the dog either. Most of the time I’m trying to soothe and settle my dog or I’m working 8+ hour shifts. He doesn’t give us any warning about when he needs to go potty. He will just get up and pee in the house.
We are just extremely frustrated because this is not even close to what we were told about him. My partner gave them multiple opportunities to say this wouldn’t be a good fit , he told them he just wants the best for the dog and to make sure he’s happy and healthy. They convinced us this would be a great fit. My partner in particular is very frustrated, drained and he says he doesn’t even like the dog at this point and my partner is a HUGE dog person. He has only slept about 6 hours over the past 3 days because this dog is dominating every aspect of our lives. I am terrified to go to work on Friday and leave my partner here alone to deal with all of this. We are really at a loss and don’t know what to do.
We feel like we were screwed here. We were told that this dog behaves completely the opposite of how he does. We were convinced we were a perfect match but this is far from it. We don’t want to give up on the dog because he doesn’t deserve to be moved around over and over, but this is not what we were expecting at all based on the foster and adoption coordinators stories. We honestly just want the dog to be happy. This obviously isn’t making him happy. What should we do here? We have about a week to figure out if we want to give him back and get a refund. Otherwise, we’re SOL on getting back over $600 that we spent to adopt him. We really don’t want to give him back due to the fact that it’s going to be even harder for him to be adopted if he’s being moved around a bunch between different families, but this is becoming dangerous and stressful for everyone involved.

I want to play the game and experience much of how to play it on my own, but I am just wondering if there are any major do’s and don’ts I should be aware of. I just don’t want to make any big mistakes that could potentially cost me lots of time and progress in the game on my first play through. Thanks

Hi!
TL;DR: I (30M) can't decide whether I should break up with my girlfriend (27F) of 10 years, or should I commit to it, and settle down.
Anonymous account for privacy. I'll try to be concise, but still it will be long, sorry.
When we started this relationship, we both wanted this relationship so hard we just "got together" without falling in love for each other (I know this is a problem), so we didn't have any honeymoon phase. (Context: I was a young boy who was always rejected and had zero success with girls, she is my first girlfriend.)
The 10 years of our relationship contained multiple (shortelonger) breakups (around 2-3 maybe, and all was in the first 5 years), and a lot of changes in both of our lives: first I got into university (we met in weekends), then she as well (same city), and eventually 5 years ago we moved in together in the last year of my university years. We live together for 5 years.
We don't have issues with living together, we get along comfortably. She does 80% of the housework (shopping, cooking, washing, cleaning), I do the rest ad-hoc, and open to do more in the future. We are a lower-middle class couple with savings and stable jobs.
What is nice with her: she is kind, caring, supportive, loyal, can cook good meals, and she accepts me.
What is not nice with her: she is lactose intolerant (it affects me too in our food choices), I don't like her family, she doesn't improve herself in her profession, she is introverted and reserved with very small social circle and I expect more social life from her (she is good like this and she rarely goes out from home and I think she should, and this is a source of conflict when I want to go out without her).
What is not nice in the relationship: I honestly cannot decide if I ever loved her with pure love, I never had the butterflies in my stomach. Sure, we got used to each other over the years and I am emotionally attached to her, but I rarely miss her when she isn't home, and I'm not really interested in her. I also don't see her attractive, I'm not sure if I respect her enough and our sexual life was never as good as I wanted. I often feel like I don't want to leisure activity time with her.
The main dealbreaker that I see is: I was always interested in and fantasized about how it would be with other girls: getting to know them, try sex, hang out, etc. This demand of mine exists for many years, and was the source of previous breakup-attempts, but I could never stick to it. One of the reasons for this need of mine is that I would really want benchmark/experiences to be able to evaluate that a relationship is good enough, or not, but I obviously cannot do it without leaving her.
My biggest concern is that I'm scared that I would become very lonely (I don't really have friends so she is mostly the only person I seriously have in my life), would have to do everything on my own, and that I wouldn't be able to find another woman who is at least as good as she is to me (because she is quite good with me). I have a lack of self-confidence (based on evidence from my early ages) when it comes to girls, and I find it very difficult to let go this acceptable relationship for the hope of a better one.
My feeling are quite shallow in general for many years and I don't know if it is because I am like this, or I have a problem with feelings, or it's just that I'm not romantically connected to her. I don't want to make the biggest mistake of my life by finding out in the end that the problem is me and I left a great partner. I really want to experience love, happiness, satisfaction.
So we have some fixable problems, I can't make a commitment (marriage, kids, etc) because of the lack of my feelings that would ensure me and motivate me to settle down.
She won't accept an open relationship or a break (we live together, nowhere to go temporarily), so nothing like that.
I have to make this big decision, and I have to do it really soon (like in the next 24h).
This is the most important decision of my life so far. Should I stay with her and work harder on the relationship and my feelings, or move on?

Greetings DesertRose,
Recently, Reddit has announced some changes to their API that may have pretty serious impact on many of it's users.
You may have already seen quite a few posts like these across some of the other subreddits that you browse, so we're just going to cut to the chase.

What's Happening

• Third Party Reddit apps (such as Apollo, Reddit is Fun and others) are going to become ludicrously more expensive for it's developers to run, which will in turn either kill the apps, or result in a monthly fee to the users if they choose to use one of those apps to browse. Put simply, each request to Reddit within these mobile apps will cost the developer money. The developers of Apollo were quoted around $2 million per month for the current rate of usage. The only way for these apps to continue to be viable for the developer is if you (the user) pay a monthly fee, and realistically, this is most likely going to just outright kill them. Put simply: If you use a third party app to browse Reddit, you will most likely no longer be able to do so, or be charged a monthly fee to keep it viable.
  
  • A big reason this matters to DesertRose, and why we believe it matters to you, is that during our last user demographics survey, of 2,500 responses, 22.4% of users say they primarily use a third party app to browse the subreddit. Using this as sort of a sample size, even significantly reduced, is a non-negligible portion of our user base being forced to change the way they browse Reddit.
  • Some people with visual impairments have problems using the official mobile app, and the removal of third-party apps may significantly hinder their ability to browse Reddit in general. More info
  • Many moderators are going to be significantly hindered from moderating their communities because 3rd party mobile apps provide mod tools that the official app doesn't support. This means longer wait times on post approvals, reports, modmails etc.
• NSFW Content is no longer going to be available in the API. This means that, even if 3rd party apps continue to survive, or even if you pay a fee to use a 3rd party app, you will not be able to access NSFW content on it. You will only be able to access it on the official Reddit app. Additionally, some service bots (such as video downloaders or maybe remindme bots) will not be able to access anything NSFW. In more major cases, it may become harder for moderators of NSFW subreddits to combat serious violations such as CSAM due to certain mod tools being restricted from accessing NSFW content.
  

Note: A lot of this has been sourced and inspired from a fantastic mod-post on wow, they do a great job going in-depth on the entire situation. Major props to the team over there! You can read their post here

Open Letter to Reddit & Blackout

In lieu of what's happening above, an open letter has been released by the broader moderation community, and DesertRose will be supporting it.
Part of this initiative includes a subreddit blackout (meaning, the subreddit will be privatized) on June 12th, lasting 24-48 hours or longer. Cheers,
DesertRose Mod Team

This happened in the 90s. A little nervous posting about this, as I don’t like thinking about it, but will answer any questions.
My family went to a secluded campground in the porcupine mountains (the upper peninsula of Michigan). I was very young, around 4 years old. The campground was an open field surrounded by old growth forest. I was swinging at the playground while my mom was setting up the pop-up camper. I remember being magnetized toward a path leading down to the shore of Lake Superior. You could not see the shore or lake because the tree line was very thick, but there were stairs leading down to it. I remember making a beeline toward it. I remember walking past my mom, setting up chairs in front of the camper. I remember wanting to stop and ask her if I could go to the path, but I didn’t stop and just kept walking. She didn’t notice me leaving either.
The water was still, the sky was grey. No one else was there. On the shore, to my right, was a mass of half submerged boulders leading out 20-30 feet into the lake. Kind of like a snake. At the very end a big boulder nearly submerged in the water.
I go and play on the rocks, but stay on the shore. I’m perched up on the largest boulder, looking down on the crevices. Just observing the little ecosystem there. Water would surge and run through all the crevices and openings between the boulders and I was totally mesmerized by it. I remember being happy. I hear a big wave, lots of water rushes through the rocks, almost touching my feet. I remember frowning, very deeply. Instant change in emotion. And then I black out.
When I come to, I’m being led up the stairs by a younger couple. My mom was running around frantically asking other campers if they had seen me, enlisting help to find me. The couple says I was “all the way out on the rocks.” She tells them to show her. We all go back down to the shore. They point at the “head” of the snake, the very last boulder far out in the water. They said I was standing there, like in a trance, and wouldn’t answer their calls to come back. Like I couldn’t hear them at all. They had to physically climb out and get me. My mom starts asking questions in a rapid fire sort of way, says where were you? Why did you do that? How long were you gone? When did you leave the playground? I was a nonverbal child (was in speech therapy), so I just point directly to our right, toward the mass of boulders on the shore. She says no, you were there, pointing at the farthest one, far into the lake. I point again at the exact boulder I was sitting on. She looks a little concerned now and asks if I remember, I shake my head no. She asks what I remember and I don’t answer, just dazed as fuck.
The only reason why I remember is because my mom remembered, and was particularly disturbed about my missing time. She would keep asking if I remembered how I got there, I would tell her no. At one point she even asked if the couple who brought me back did anything to me. Sure as fuck hope not, but no.
My memory ends on that giant boulder and comes back when I’m halfway up those stairs holding the hands of this couple.
Fast forward two years later, I can’t sleep and I’m facing the wall. I turn over and see a tall, thin, white alien standing behind my door. Almost translucent. Big black oval eyes. Staring at me. I felt no fear, just stared back. It had very long fingers. It was making a looping circle with its finger behind my door, going counterclockwise. My eyes kept flicking back and forth between its eyes and it’s hand movement. It’s nodding it’s head side to side, kind of swaying, like it was studying me. At some point I think, I should be afraid of this, and hide under the covers. I peek out again and it’s gone. I fall asleep immediately afterward.
See title, I am sharing this story because I believe all of us who experienced the greys in our rooms, actually had an abduction event in early early childhood we don’t remember. If you had an experience with these greys in your room during childhood, ask your parents if there was ever a point where they had a “missing time” experience during your toddlerhood. Or if there was a time where you disappeared and reappeared somewhere near and unusual. There has to be some sort of tagging process and doing so when our brains are still underdeveloped would pose the least amount of risk toward abductees remembering the experience.
Remembering the grey in my room, I feel no fear. But when I remember the rocks, there is a huge sense of dread and impending doom. Reading the posts here encouraged me to speak out about this, which I’ve never done before and am doing so thru a burner account, but I want to see if anyone else experienced something like the boulder incident before their first alien-in-my-room experience.