So here’s the situation. My brother, 37M, has been married to my SIL, 36F, for well over a decade and they have young children together. They got married relatively young, but we’ve known her family and relatives our whole lives, and there have been a few marriages between us as well, including her sister to my cousin.
My SIL and I were part of a good group of friends, prior to her even dating my brother. She’s also one of four girls and her family is super tight knit. Things didn’t begin to sour until her and her sister got pregnant with their first kids. I won’t get into all the details, and I’m not saying my family was perfect, but it quickly became apparent that interactions with their MILs were perceived as threats to their own mother and her role as ‘grandma’.
Things got steadily worse as the years passed for both sisters, their respective mother-in-laws, and husband’s families. My SIL’s sister was hacking her MILs email and her SILs messages. My SIL learned the word ‘boundaries’ and threw it around at any perceived slight, would secretly read her husbands messages, and insinuated my mom is a pedo. Both sisters were weaponizing Facebook to unfriend those they were mad at, all the while heavily vague-booking about the situation to paint themselves as the victims. Again, things progressed. My parents respected their DIL’s wishes and their grandkids grew to not really know them. Slowly, my brother was isolated from his relatives, his parents, his friends, his siblings. He made hard choices for the sake of his marriage, but also now admits he fell under her spell some too, and adapted some her toxic thinking.
My SIL has been in control this whole time. Those boundaries she wants to set, any reprimands she wants to hand out, any manipulation… she’s the mouthpiece and is very clear that she’s the one making the decisions to protect her family. She sent a big message to my parents recently and shortly thereafter, decided they were going to take a ‘break’ from my family (my parents, me and my husband, my siblings and their spouses). And the next thing I knew, my brother was in town, and he was a wreck. She had said she was divorcing him, out of the blue. She said she’d been cheating, that God said they weren’t married anymore, and so on. He accidentally overheard her say that she wanted him to take the kids for the weekend so she could do whatever she wanted with her new beau; and he walked in on her having phone sex with him.
On top of all of this, a while back, my brother and SIL decided to try alcohol and weed for the first time. While he didn’t fall down the rabbit hole, she did. Again won’t go into all the details of the trouble she got into, but it is relevant to add that she is a threat to herself and has had to be rescued off the bathroom floor a few times by family members. She also threatens to deliberately hurt herself when it suits her as well, which my brother has to take very seriously. She’s also a nurse.
Now to the point. My SIL has very carefully, intentionally, and successfully made herself to be the villain in our family. She holds all the cards, she makes up the rules. (And, note, there has never been any of this type of drama in my family or that of my relatives, until her and her sister married in. All other in laws and relationships are healthy and well-functioning). She has recently been reaching out to us, to my parents, pleading for them to do something. To reign in their son. She’s claiming he’s obsessed with her, he’s stalking her, that she doesn’t feel safe and ‘if they care for their grandchildren at all, they should do something’. She’s blaming him for bringing alcohol into their home and that ‘his abuse’ has driven her to drink. She’s reached out to me, to my cousins, to the former friends she’s pushed away. She’s sent similar messages to us all (sometimes randomly at 4am) that are honestly bizarrely phrased and not at all like her, promising that we’ll all get together for a party once this is behind her. Her sister is vague booking on her behalf, helping to shift the narrative and paint my brother as the villain.
I’m not diagnosing her, but my SIL is showing a lot of narcissistic tendencies and methods, so I’ve been learning more about that if only to have some sort of guidance and clarity on how to/not to engage and better understand motives and support my brother. Because this is wild. My brother has (legally) recorded their conversations and has proof from those and from text messages from his wife of her abuse, of her unfaithfulness. But she is waging war against him now, and we’re not sure what the catalyst was since again, this all came out of the blue. Once she flipped that switch, my brother was done and more willing to divorce than she was. However, she’s backtracked saying she never cheated. She’s attempting to blackmail him with intimate videos that she told my parents HE was using against HER. She’s reaching out to anyone and everyone to smear his name and make wild accusations. She’s claiming he’s the narcissist, he’s the one who has been in control their whole marriage. She told him she got a divorce lawyer AND a criminal one. From the recordings and screenshots he’s shared, he’s being very calm in their interactions, doesn’t take the bait, and now, when she reaches out and says she misses him, he gently reminds her that they are only to communicate through their lawyers. (For the sake of the kids, they’re still living in the same house but she has banished him to the basement).
Advice? How can we continue to help supporting my brother through the worst time in his life? (No, this is not my marriage. Maybe I’m too close, but ‘their friends’ are now ‘her friends’; over the past decade, I’ve rarely gotten involved but he always knew he could confide in me and that I would hold his secrets and respect their choices in the marriage even if I didn’t agree with them).
Fresh insight? How can he move forward through this smear campaign, protect the kids from getting involved/weaponized?

Throwaway account
I'm thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend of 4 and a half years. And I don't know if I'm making the right move. Furthermore I can't talk to my friends about it since she wouldn't like that and I'm not close enough to them to feel comfortable talking about it.
Nothing big happened and it's quite hard to summarize our relationship in a couple of words. But I'll try to list all the good things first and then the ones making me feel wary about this relationship.
But quickly before that : we both have some mental issues ( me : ADHD, BPD, panic disorder ) (her : autism, depression, ED) But we are both managing pretty well. At least I am, she still needs some help, but that's okay. ( due to that she lives in a therapeutic group idk how I should describe it, it's a German thing. I lived in a similar one, but now I have an apartment) Those issues of course are to be kept in the back of the head while looking at my situation .
So the good things : - I love her - she makes me feel loved - she always tries her best and acknowledges her faults - I can be myself around her - she understands my mental issues - she makes me feel attractive - she tries to help - she loves me - I feel calm in her arms - she is quite smart - she is my best friend - she said she would provide for me and help with the pursuit of my acting career - she loves me even though of my emotional outbursts sometimes and my clingyness
Now to the difficult part: - I can't count on her - she is very slow , which isn't her fault but it takes away from our time ( example : wanting to meet at 1, she comes at 3 cause things took longer or she needs days on easy school work ) This wouldn't be such a problem if I could help her but: - she doesn't take my help. She is gratefully when I forcefully help her sometimes cause I can't bear to see her struggle , which leads me to having to make her take my help and her admitting she really needed that repeatedly. ( she has trouble accepting help cause of trauma) - she is always late - she forgets everything - she is in therapy but it isn't helping ( according to her ) - school is stressing her out so much that she can't do anything besides school - she rarely reaches out to me, i always have to start a conversation - I feel like taking care of a child sometimes - she isn't showing me much love through the stress - she is stressed like this since 1 and a half years ( beforehand she isolated herself in her room at her parents house . I managed to motivate her to move out to a group similar like mine. She then moved in the same city as me in a similar group) Initially I was very understanding and found her a school cause she couldn't manage due to the stress of living somewhere else and both her several necessities like charger etc. Now I hope I still am understanding but I just wish she would be more capable. I also want to count on her. It's not like I can't count on her at all. She watered my flowers while I was gone for a week, but I still feel like I can't ask her for help. For example : in germany we have a big exam period called abitur. It's like once a lifetime. And I asked her months before if she could try to be like nice to me during that 2 weeks and help me a little with stuff like food sometimes, cause it's a really stressful time. She agreed. But the time of the abitur was filled with arguments and disappointments. Sometimes I feel like I was just expecting to much, cause she really helped with food and things like that. But emotionally I was so stressed when she was around. She is prone to be very hateful towards herself once something small goes wrong and I'm prone to reflect her emotions or rather be very influenced by them. So when she is stressed or sad I am. Which wouldn't be as bad if it would be an normal amount but sometimes it's just so much.

• she is very self conscious and hates herself. It took a lot of years for me to be able to take pictures with her -she is very inacable of school chores because of her perfectionism
• her family doesn't know I exist
• she can't make me come without me having to think about other things ( like not people but actions ig )
• I'm starting to not be able to imagine a future with her anymore

Now I'm sitting in my apartment. On Tuesday which were supposed to be our days. I didn't even ask if she forgot I just wanted to wait but I doubt she will show up. But I'm to tired to run after her.
Idk what to do.

I live in a red state with my girlfriend. We are only a bridge away from a very blue state, where I am from. Unfortunately life is cheaper to live in the red state, so that’s where we are. We live in a duplex though! Our neighbors are our best friends, so we basically just have a big house with 2 doors! We put up a pride flag about 2 months ago. Within a week it was stolen, so we put up a new one, and a camera. Within a couple days it was torn down and the flag pole was broken. Get this, the camera was dead so we didn’t even see who did it.
Right around this time we got a lease violation notice on our door for an illegal pet being kept in our place, a calico cat, they said. We don’t have a calico cat. So we took that on the chin. 2 weeks ago we get our 2nd lease violation notice, 1 more and we are out. This violation is because apparently we have “up to 5 people living in the residence” it’s a 2 bedroom, we don’t. The land lady came down to the place to “talk to us” and when we explained we have friends who come over often she said “yeah we can’t be doing that” and did not retract the lease violation (the one that doesn’t exist)
She is very rude and condescending to us, but when she talks to our neighbors (our friends) she is cordial and kind. It reeks of homophobia (our neighbors are also queer, just in a het relationship lol)
It sucks, I’m working on a red state wage, as is my girlfriend who is a server. We will be ok, but man do I wish one of us was a man so we wouldn’t have to deal with this

I am The Bard, who taught men their first magics, which to this day endure when all others have. It is written into the blood and bones of all you have built, and so I shall never die.
I did not teach you how to dream. I only taught how to tell a dream to another who you would never know.
The phone rang. Karna didn’t bother to pick it up. The message machine clicked for a moment, tape starting to turn backwards as new words were written onto it. It clicked again, stopping dead. Karna didn’t look up from his meal of leftover takeout. He finished his noodles, checked again to see if there was any shrimp left, and sighed as he threw the box at the bin. It bounced off the others already filling it up.
He sighed, rubbing his head and eyes. Healing magic could cure a hangover. It couldn’t do anything about dehydration. He needed to get up and get a drink. He went over to his cabinet and looked around for a glass. When he didn’t find a clean one, he grabbed a coffee mug instead. It was the last one. He was also out of coffee. Irritating. No matter how much of it he drank, he was still tired. It just meant he couldn’t sleep.
Sex helped, a bit, but when it didn’t, things were worse. Lying alone in his own bed, at least he could toss and turn and work his sheets into tangles trying to find some position that would let him finally fall asleep. He could slip out of bed for a nightcap, a strong one, to try and help. With another, there was nothing to do but lie there, still and silent, trying not to wake the man or woman next to him.
Trying not to think.
Impossible to sleep, then suddenly too much sleep. Blink and it was three-thirty in the afternoon. He stood at the sink, filling up the mug and draining it repeatedly. The call was probably from work. Worse, it might be his mother.
”Karna, what the fuck are you doing with your life you useless bastard. You’re not immortal, it’s all slipping away, one day, one minute at a time, and here you are doing nothing with it.” He said to himself. “Because you’re too tired to anything and still can’t sleep.” Of course, he knew why. His mind, treacherous as a serpent, betrayed him then, in the dark, in the solitude. Every wound he had suffered, every scar erased by healing magic, those were nothing. He was a paladin, the training had gotten him used to the sight of his own blood a long time ago.
”Practice for healing magic. Isn’t that what the old sister called it?” He wondered aloud. “Tch. She was kind of a bitch. Still is. I wonder if she’s calling me to yell at me too? Of course, I suppose I deserve it. I-“Then he stopped himself, and slammed the mug down, forcefully. It hit one of the plates in the sink, and it cracked. Karna swore and picked up the mess, picking the shards of metal out of his sink and throwing them in the boxes in the bin.
He sat back down in the one seat he used at his four-person table. It was covered in books, loose change, an unopened letter from some survey, a candle, a mug, miscellaneous bits of stationary, a comically large six sided die with red and black patterns, and off directly to his left a stick of deodorant and bottle of cologne. Those last two were the only things he’d used on this table in a while.
He sat back in his chair and sighed. “Yeah, you know exactly what you’re doing with your life. Nothing of any use to anyone. Well. Useless is better than detrimental, so hey, at least there’s that improvement.”
He hit the button to play back the latest message from his telephone, and picked it up, placing the receiver to his ear. At least he could listen to his messages. That would be something for the day.
”Hey, Karna. It’s Bas.” Karna’s head slumped forwards. He hadn’t expected him to be calling to call him an idiot. “I’ve tried coming by your place a couple of times to visit, seem to have missed you both times.” Or he was asleep, or drunk, or otherwise being a bad cousin. “So, I figured I’d give you a call and leave you a message. Just checking in to see how you’re doing. I know… things have been rough, for all of us, and I know you were taking things hard.” I know you’re weak. “I hope you’re doing well, and hope you understand, if you’re not, then, well, you’ve got my number, and you know where I live. Even though my apartment’s not exactly stellar.” I know you could reach out. But you won’t. You’ve been given everything, inherited power, your house, your money, and you still do nothing with it. I have nothing our society considers important, but I am still a better man than you. “Hope to talk to you soon. Adonai watch over you.”
That last bit was a bit odd. Adonai. The old invisible god, or God, as those that believed in such a thing insisted. Karna wasn’t entirely certain that this wasn’t just a clever way of disguising atheism, given that philosophy’s associations. Why in the world would Basil mention it now? As far as he knew… well he really actually didn’t know anything about Basil’s beliefs. He presumed, given his training, he was a follower of the western philosophies, which were philosophies more so than religions. They were fairly popular these days, a sort of secular spirituality, a substitute for the holes growing in Ordani religious life.
When you’ve fought and killed a god in living memory, it becomes harder to worship them. Beyond that, the old rites simply that, old rites. A series of rituals nobody really believed in anymore. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a cleric. He paused. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a cleric he hadn’t been fighting to the death with. The gods really didn’t seem to have much of a place in a modern society. It was probably arrogant, but part of the point of the gods was meant to be that they were something so much bigger than oneself, that there was nothing that could compare. They were monumental figures, but when the monuments can be torn down by mere men, was it a monument worth believing in?
It was that way then. Some people turned to the western philosophies, realizing that their religious needs, the desire for mystery, for reverence, for prayer, meditation, moral laws and sacred communities were met there, without gods. Some, Basil included, turned their gaze towards an invisible, supposedly omnipotent, God. Well, the gods were supposed to be omnipotent, but if nobody could even prove your God existed, well, then there wasn’t any fear that anyone could kill Him. And then, there was the other kind. The kind which were kind of a bad joke.
He remembered his days in the warm sun, under the abbot’s orchard in Hearthfire Abbey, amid the warm red walls, the golden light of the day filtering through the green leaves, the bright red apples highlighted against a blue sky. Quite literally simpler times. He remembered the grave beneath the tree. Senket Zarathustra. Of course, that wasn’t really where she was. She was a few miles up the road, in a chapel nobody paid any mind to, next to six other graves, two empty. How much a contrast that was, compared with what was in the abbey. Her image, glaring down from tapestry, immortalized in statuary, and everywhere revered. Saint, they called her, but what was the difference between a saint and a god, when you treated one like the other.
They had made gods for themselves, gods born of and midwives to, their own people. A god that was distant enough to be worshipped, but near enough to be known. Something understood, something relatable, and something that had bested other gods before. Gods borne of the people of godslayers, for what else could they be? Of course, every pantheon needed its devil, its fallen angel. And now here he stood, a useless bastard, but also the same kind of thing as their gods and their devil. What a bad joke.
But at the same time, a joke they had believed in. A joke he felt the obligation to make a truth. A joke he had failed to make true. Up on a pedestal, and down in the dirt. That was what paladin of Order Undivided meant now. A hero, until people had no more need of them. Good, he wasn’t even a hero in the first place.
He shook his head. It was going to be a few hours before any clubs opened. He was going back to bed until then. It didn’t do him any good to sit awake stewing.
Basil was getting worried. He’d tried paying visits and making calls, but there was no contact. He quietly sat through office hours, grading the first assignments of the year. He was starting to regret assigning an essay, particularly to his 101 class. Fortunately, it was early in the year, so he was able to work through his office hours without being further disturbed. He finished his last paper, capped the red pen, and stood up. It wasn’t that far out of his way to visit Karna again, and this time he wouldn’t be ignored.
He made his way through the city, until he came to the Red Street. It had another name, but people remembered not what was given, but what was done. Fifty years ago, the blood of black and red lions flowed, as Elsior faced down her old mentor during the height of the black rebellion. The street’s architecture was eclectic, a mix of the old buildings which had survived the battle, and newer designs built up out of the ruins left from a clash of titans.
There were alleys off the street where you could still see the gashes left in the ground by arcane blades. It was a street where history lay heavy in the mortar and the air. It was also a decently affordable neighborhood, as the old houses, while historical, were also old, small, and lacked modern amenities. He was still never going to afford any of them on a teacher’s salary, even with his stipend as a paladin. Of course, Karna would have had a bitch of a time paying for his house as well, but he had simply inherited it.
Basil shook his head, as if to throw the jealous thought out of his mind. “You’re a grey-eyed monster already. Let’s not add green to the mix.” He growled at himself, as he kept walking up to Karna’s door and knocked. No response. He sighed, looking through the door. Only two of his eyes saw the normal spectrum of light. The others varied from arcane, ultraviolet, infrared, and a curious ability to see electrical signals. The end result was an overlapping view of information, an in-depth view of the world that saw the surface and the depths of everything. It had been a bit of a rude surprise for his parents to find out their son saw their brains at the same time he saw their faces. The practical upshot of this at the moment was that he saw Karna was clearly not at home, and had left a trail of lingering celestial energy behind him.
Well, Karna or another aasimar, but they were fairly rare. Even with the increasing numbers of extraplanar citizens in the union, there weren’t many descended from angels. Basil wryly considered that it might be the former keeping out the later. Baatorites weren’t strictly speaking enemies with most angels, but the distaste between the two species was deep, ancient, and mutual. As such, there was only one trail to follow.
Basil sighed when he found the end of the trail. It was a club, and of a particular sort. He didn’t need his enhanced vision to tell that. Technically speaking, strip clubs and even prostitution were legal. Practically speaking, everyone in any of them used pseudonyms. He sighed and headed for the entrance. The bouncer at the door, a towering ogre, raised a hand. “If you’re carrying, head around to the side entrance. They’ll check your swords there. No weapons in the club.”
”Not planning on starting a fight. Just looking to meet someone.”
”Yeah, well check em anyway. We’ve had boyfriends throwing hands with one another because they were looking at the guy on stage a little too hard, we don’t want em doing it with swords. That’s the kind of domestic dispute that doesn’t just get the cops involved, it’s also a bitch to get out of the floors.”
”Well, I’ll keep that in mind.” Basil replied, and headed around the side. He stepped in, greeted by another bouncer, a dragonborn. He always found it amusing how it was always one of the larger races as a bouncer. Given their job, it made a certain degree of sense, but it occurred to him he’d never seen a gnome as a bouncer. Then again, he didn’t go to many clubs. He checked his sword in, and left a pseudonym.
The dragonborn looked down at the paper, and narrowed his eyes slightly. “What’s the T.D. stand for, Mr. Law?” He asked curiously.
Basil shrugged. “Hells if I know, it’s an alias, same as everyone else is using here. I mean, look at the guy above me on that list, when was the last time you ever met somebody actually named Flamingo?”
”The guy kinda looked like a flamingo. Aasimar type, maybe his wings are pink.” The bouncer replied.
”If he’s the person I’m thinking of, no. Let’s hope they don’t start changing.” Basil replied.
”Ah, ex-boyfriend?”
”Cousin, and why’d you assume ex?”
”The only people I’ve seen who’ve been drinking that much and going home with that many different blokes are the ones going through breakups, and you’re the only person I’ve seen go looking for him, so I know he’s not a whore.”
”Nah, just a dumbass. Thanks for the info. Here’s hoping you have a quiet night.”
”Yeah, try to keep it that way for me.”
”I’ll do my best. Believe it or not, I hate fighting.” Basil replied, and headed past the dragonborn into the club proper.
To give the club some credit, they had a pretty decent band going. A small number, playing as much with style as they did skill. That was to say, a decent if unspectacular amount. The rolling tones of the lead singer washed over an atmosphere of casual conversation and lewd humor. Basil cocked an ear at the sound. He would have sworn he’d heard the woman on the radio at least once. He watched her closely for a moment, along with the rest of the band, but didn’t recognize them. Then again, he didn’t go to many concerts.
As the double bass thrummed, the piano crooned, and the saxophone danced center stage, he made his way through smoke and other scents towards the bar. A teifling danced a lurid show in the center of the building, sweat glistening on blue skin from the lights. One of Basil’s eyes kept a lock on the man, tracing the electrical signals running under his skin to enact their sensual motions. It wasn’t exactly something he was looking to copy, but it was an interesting interplay to watch. Dancing wasn’t something often done alone, done for the show. It was interesting to compare the flow of signals of this to more traditional forms.
He kept most of his eyes forwards through. He had a job to do, and he preferred white to blue anyways. A brief thought entertained his mind of what Zeal might look like in such an outfit. He snapped it off immediately, jaw snapping shut in anger at himself. That was wrong, and a bad place to go. He couldn’t allow himself to think of her, think of anyone, that way, but especially her.
He focused himself. He had a job to do, and he was going to die alone. The only thing anyone would ever love of him would be an illusion. Any intimacy would have to be built on lies. Throw those thoughts out of his mind. They would only bring distraction, and disappointment.
He centered himself, and took a seat next to Karna, as the aasimar knocked back what was looking like probably the sixth shot tonight. How the hell was he even paying for all this? He rapped the bar twice with his knuckles. “First time here, got mezcal?” He asked.
”Mezcal coming up, though I can’t say it’s gonna be quite as good as home’s.” The barkeep replied.
”I am home, just grew up away from it.” Basil replied. For all his illusions, he always forgot to cover his chultan accent. Then again, recognizing his voice was part of the point for the man next to him.
”Basil?” Karna asked, turning slightly. “You’re straight, well, nearest to it, the fuck are you doing here?”
”Checking on you, and about to drink a theoretically decent mezcal.” Basil replied. “I’m worried about you.”
”Well fuck off, you don’t need to be.” Karna replied. “Another.” He requested. Another shot of strong absinthe filled his cup.
”Might want to slow down there hoss.” The barkeep warned. “The kind you’ve been having is a hundred thirty proof.”
”That so? Huh. Would have thought it was about a hundred twenty. Guess I’m getting better at drinking. Stands to reason, it’s all I’m good at or good for.” Karna replied, clearly about as drunk as someone on their seventh shot of one hundred thirty proof absinthe should be.
”Politely, bullshit.” Basil replied. “Though you are going to manage to be the first paladin to ever give yourself liver cirrhosis at the rate you’re going.”
”Paladin. What a bad joke.” Karna spat. “Paladins are heroes, we, we’re not fucking heroes. You got closer, and you’re, well, you. Me. I’m just a fool. So what if I ruin my liver. I’ve ruined everything else.”
Karna went for his glass, but Basil put his hand over it, stopping him. He looked his cousin in the eye, gentle, pitying, but firm. “Karna, we should go. Let’s find somewhere, a park or something, and talk.”
”We should, as in you should get your hand off my drink, and then pull that pole out of your ass. Dancer might need a spare.” Karna spat back. “I don’t need to talk, I need a damn drink.”
Basil didn’t move. “Cut the crap and calm down. You’re drunk already, and clearly not in a good place. If you’re going to be this way, at least we can do it at a safe distance from anyone else.”
”Oh fuck right off.” Karna replied. “What, am I embarrassing you? More so that I already have? I know I’m a fucking disgrace okay. I saw it with my own two eyes and can’t stop seeing it. The least you could let me do is drink myself to death in peace so I stop being a bother for all of you.”
The bartender was steadily shifting away, looking towards the bouncer who sighed and began to approach. He briefly made eye contact with Basil, who tried to give him an apologetic smile and flicked his eyes back towards Karna. The bouncer nodded. This wasn’t the first time he’d seen this.
Karna continued. “But no, you can’t do that. Can’t just let me be a failure in peace. You’re not content just being the better man than me, being better in every way but looks than me. You have to prove it, have to rub it in. I already you’re better, okay, don’t need to slam my nose in it with this stupid pity schtick.”
”When did I say anything about that? I’m the weakest member of our party!” Basil protested. “And what the hells does that have to do with any of that. You’re my cousin, my family, and beyond that my friend. You clearly need help, so of course I’m going to try and help you.”
”I don’t need help.” Karna snarled back, green eyes glinting red with a dangerous, gleaming light. “LEAST OF ALL FROM YOU!” He roared. The red light flared. Basil flinched, covering his eyes as the roar slammed into his mind and ears at the same time. He focused, piercing through the growing crimson fog.
The music kept playing, a hidden tape rolling, but the band pretending to sing had stopped. The club had gone silent, save for that. The patron’s idle gossip and chatter was muted. The bar was silent, patrons slumped over on their chairs, the bartender and bouncer were on the ground, foaming at the mouth. Karna and Basil were the only two people conscious in that building.
Karna stared in stunned silence, quiet horror at the scene. Some part of him processed exactly what he had just done, rationality quietly ticking away behind a fog of alcohol and badly managed emotional issues. It only intensified the later, a combination of terror and guilt forming into a blossoming rage. Then he saw Basil’s face, saw realization peeling back and something shifting in how he looked at him, saw a cold fury, a hatred, spreading across his face.
Basil looked himself, horrified at what had just occurred, and mind flashing to the street in front of Zeal’s home. This was the exact same scene. The same power as Alexander, but now being used instinctually. He had no idea what had actually happened to these people, if Karna had meant it or not. One thing he did know for certain. He had to stop this. If Karna was out of control there was no telling how many people could be hurt so he had to end this now.
Karna opened his mouth, but it was too late. Basil whirled, placing a palm on the bar to leverage himself from a sitting position into a whirling kick. His heel hit Karna squarely in the face, with every ounce of strength he could muster. A sucker punch, meant to be a knockout blow so he could take the aasimar down, end this spell, and get him out of here before anything else went wrong.
Karna snapped back out of his chair, it tumbled to the ground, and the back of his head hit the floor hard. His headache roared, but he rolled over coming back up to his feet, coming to a ready stance. He might have been depressed and drunk, but he was still a paladin, better trained than most and tougher than pretty much everybody. It was going to take more than that to knock him out.
Basil kicked him squarely in the nuts.
Karna doubled over in pain, and Basil kicked him in the face again. Basil had trained under paladins and monks alike. His skill with his own limbs was on par with his swordsmanship. His training under the paladins in the tradition of Jort made him an expert at sneak attacks, sucker punches, and practical, dirty fighting. In other words, he was effectively an expert at kicking people in the nuts. He went for a chop to the throat, trying to finish the fight right then and there.
Karna caught his hand, and broke it by squeezing his fingers. He looked up, bloody eyed and berserk. “Ah. Fuck.” Basil swore. Then Karna threw him. Basil went flying, arm broken, and hit the wall shelves, covered in a hundred forms of expensive booze. The impact shattered his collar bone, and he kept going until he hit the solid wall on the other side of the bar. He landed hard on his face, shirt torn to ribbons and bleeding freely.
His hand and shoulder reset themselves, and shirt tore entirely as he burst his extra limbs out of it, and slammed them down to pick himself up. He drew in a breath, and Karna threw a chair at him. Basil dodged upwards, onto the ceiling as the chair smashed a hole in the wall behind him. He rushed his cousin, gathering shards of broken glass with his spare limbs and a bottle into either hand. He flung the glass before him, forcing Karna to cover his face. Then he hit him on top of the head with both bottles, dropped them, and hit him on both sides of the throat with a chop.
Karna struggled to breathe, nearly blacking out from the impact, and but threw a wild, blind punch. Basil evaded most of hit, but even a glancing hit was enough to send him flying. He caught his momentum on a support pillar, swinging around it with his tendrils. His ankle hit the side of a table and shattered. He wheezed in pain, falling to a knee on top of the table to mend it.
Karna roared and charged like a bull, giving Basil scant time. He palmed a lighter from one of the unconscious men lying next to him, and jumped clear. Karna smashed the table into splinters beneath his fists, tearing skin and breaking bone, but healing them just as quickly as he damaged them. Basil flicked the lighter open, and threw it. The expensive alcohol covering Karna caught light, stunning and blinding him as Basil set him ablaze!
He hit the flaming angel with everything he had before the fire burned away. Fists, feet, elbows, knees, tendrils. A devastating combination of every move he knew to put a man on the ground flew out of him. He hadn’t really trained to get into a bar fight, but damn if it wasn’t coming in handy. He finished with a powerful drop kick in the aasimar’s solar plexus, sending him staggering back against the bar, breath torn from his lungs.
Basil breathed heavily, as his cousin slumped, then swore as Karna got his feet under him, and pulled his head up still more than ready to go. He swore louder as Karna gripped the sides of the bar, and tore the granite countertop off of it, swinging it at Basil like an improvised weapon.
Basil leapt, running along the side of the countertop as it smashed through everything it came across. Fortunately, it was swung high, missing the unconscious clubgoers, and shattered when it hit a load bearing column, though that cracked ominously. Basil landed on his cousin, spines biting into him and wrapping around bones to anchor the assassin. He’d seen a similar technique used by velociraptors when they hunted, using their massive claws to hook onto larger dinosaurs. Once attached, the smaller reptiles would begin to eat their prey alive. He wasn’t planning on biting Karna though, instead he raised up his boot and began to stomp his cousin’s face, over and over and over again, desperately trying to bring the berserk paladin down before he brought down the building!
Karna flared his wings and soared upwards, slamming both himself and Basil into the ceiling. Basil fell off, and Karna grabbed him by the face. He slammed them both down into the floor, smashing Basil’s head into the ground once, twice, three times, then threw him with enough force to scatter blood across the entire club and snap the assassin’s neck. He watched as Basil hit the pole the dancer had been, ahem, performing with, and his illusion vanished.
Horror overtook him as he saw Basil’s true form break in two, snaped apart by the force of the impact, and fall like so much meat onto the stage. He rushed forwards, hands shaking as he realized what he’d just done. He reached for Basil’s head, bloodied and broken. But his hands went through him. His emotional pain was then matched by physical pain, as he felt a steel stripper pole strike him directly between the legs.
Basil didn’t let up, as he dropped the illusion and his invisibility, and beat his cousin into the ground with the broken pole. He went for joints, broke ribs, hit below the belt with every opportunity and he did not stop. He didn’t know what it was going to take to put Karna down but he did know that if Karna got back up, he was actually going to die. It was nothing but the good fortune of his unusual anatomy that had kept him breathing with a broken neck, and his healing magic to allow him to ever get up again. He wasn’t going to get another chance, and so he beat down his cousin until the pole was bent beyond all recognition and the stage was slick with golden blood.
When he finally stopped, Karna was finally, mercifully, down. Basil knelt by his side, mending him enough to make sure he could be moved safely, though not enough to bring him back into consciousness. The patrons were beginning to stir to consciousness. With a grunt, he picked up his friend, hoisting him over his shoulder, and covered both of them with a spell of invisibility.
Slowly, shakily, he retrieved his and Karna’s weapons, erased both their names from the registry, and slipped away as people began to regain consciousness and the police arrived. Then, he began the slow, tired business of carrying Karna back to his house. He grumbled as he went. “You are far too skinny to be this heavy, and put up way too much of a fight for me to need the extra weight of lugging your ass out of here. You stupid overpowered twink.”
Karna woke up with a splitting headache, and a slightly less splitting everything-else-ache. Paladin healing factors worked wonders, but if you took a beating that was going to make you ache for a week, you were going to ache for a week. He remembered what happened, and started to wish he didn’t. “Oh fuck. I nearly killed Bas. And… yeah, the rest of the club. I’m not going to be allowed back there.”
He rolled off his couch and got a drink, of water this time. He looked at his liquor cabinet, walked over, opened it, and grabbed a bottle. He emptied it into the sink. Then he emptied the rest. He looked down at the drain, drew in a deep breath, and focused himself. “I need to apologize. I need to talk. I need help. And I need to get my life back on track.” He resolved. “I can’t let that happen again.”
He clenched his fists, and opened them again, hands still shaking. There was a knock at the door. His first thought was that it might be Basil checking on him. The next though was that it was the police. His third thought was that it was Basil, and the police. Well, either way. Apologies would be made, he might just also need to call a really, really good lawyer, and probably a bank to take out a loan to pay all that property damage.
He opened it, and saw another aasimar looking back at him.
”Hello Karna.” Alexander replied. “I heard you had something of a rough night, powers going out of control, a rather ugly bar fight, that sort of thing?”
”Yes. How long am I going to be in jail for?” Karna asked.
”Not at all, I’ve covered the damages and fortunately, nobody has any memory of last evening. Dominion Flare has that useful side effect.”
”Dominion Flare? What I did has a name?”
”Of course. It is your inheritance after all.” Alexander mused. “Though, you might be the first one to awaken it while drunk, though you’re not the first to cause some degree of damage with it. These things happen, it simply requires training.” He looked Karna squarely in the eye. “And beyond that, I strongly suspect you may be looking for some help getting yourself back on track.”

This is the closest thing I have had to a supernatural experience, it's not exactly scary and it's not action packed. But it's very unexplained with what could have been a very nasty injury for one of my friends involved with the story.
So it happened around 2013 or so. I live in a seaside county in England, which has lots of old buildings and locations that can be 100's of years old. This story takes place in a very old and fairly famous seaside town of Whitstable.
Me and my group of friends were out in the evening just hanging out and enjoying the evening. There was about 5 or 6 of us and we were walking along the beech front on our way back to a friends to spend the night. Where we were was much lower down than the street view, so the road and all the houses were above us on a hill so when you look up you can see street lights, undercover benches to view the sea from, a few public toilets and a little refreshment stop that is open during the summer.
As we approached the path that leads up the side of the hill to the road and sidewalk above us, I wanted to have a quick pee as I didn't think I could hold it until we got back to my friends house. So I quickly mentioned I was going to go up next to something we have on our beeches called a breakwater, basically wooden fences that go into the sea to restrict large waves. As I went to do the deed its pitch black on the seafront as its at night and the only light available is that of the streetlights from up the hill. So naturally your eyes are drawn to it. As I was doing the deed, I noticed something odd while looking up. Where this little public toilet was up on the hill, it had a sign with a spotlight which illuminates the sign at night, but doesn't create much light pollution around it. Simply a spotlight effect pointing down underneath. Baring in mind this is probably 100 meters or so away from me at this point so its very hard to distinguish details, but while I was looking up I saw what looked like a woman standing under the light. Wearing a full Victorian style blue dress and a straw hat, looking out over the sea.
I just kept looking and trying to figure out what I was looking at, this is around 10 at night and the streets are devoid of people, why would this person just be standing under a light by herself? So once I was finished I ran back to my group who were walking ahead and called to them saying I've seen someone standing up by that street light wearing a Victorian dress. Naturally everyone just brushed it off, but when I rallied them to follow me up the slope to the street view they followed me inquisitively. I could still see the woman there as I approached the hill, but as you get closer because of the location of the light and the steepness of the hill. It gets obscured by the hill itself. SO now out of view we still make our way to the top and once we were there, nothing. No one is there. We look up and down the street and there are no obstructions or places to hide. There is a tennis court with a road ahead of us, the toilets to the left which are locked and open road to the right. The only thing that could be used as a potential hiding place is a undercover shelter over the road from us but its empty. Baring in mind I lost vision of this person for literally 20 seconds while power walking up this slope so to disappear in a massive bulky dress would take an Olympic amount of athleticism to run that fast.
So we are perplexed and I'm sure people wouldn't have believed what I saw if not for what was left underneath the light on the street where the woman was standing. The straw hat. Naturally as young adults we just made jokes, picking up the hat and wearing it. Making jokes about it being a ghost etc. So naturally, we did what any self respecting young adult would do when faced with the super natural. We took the hat back to my friends house to spend the night with it.
As we were back at my friends house, we went into his room. Which was a cabin his parents had installed in his garden to give more room to his family as the house they live in is a bungalow and there not much room to move. And nothing odd was happening, just discussing the oddity that had happened and other normal things.
The first sign things were getting strange was as we were sitting on his bed, he had this large canvas print behind his bed. Whilst we were just sitting their talking to each other, it fell off the wall and landed on my friends back. Luckily its not heavy so it didn't hurt, but needless to say we began to question things. He chalked it off to it being us as its happened before so we cracked a few jokes and started to get ready to sleep.
Our sleeping layout was our friend in his bed, me next to him and whoever else on the floors. In the darkness we often chatted before sleeping so we did this as usual, before settling down to sleep. As it quietened down there was only the sound of us breathing, until we hear a bang and one of our friends yells "Ahh!" Now, context for this next part. My friend loved to decorate his room with things, and one of these types of things he decorated with were these metal plaques. Similar to a small number plate but with pictures and slogans on them, which he had hung off of nails on the roof rafters of his cabin room. They were fairly secure as they had screw holes to be mounted, so they weren't being propped up anywhere or anything. They were fairly cheaply made by their look so they weren't exactly well machined meaning they had very sharp corners.
So once we hear our friend make noise we all kinda woke up and what was that. We turn the lights on and one of these plaques has come off of the nails, which required lifting to do and all the nails were still in the rafters. And fallen down right next to our friends head, impaling one of the corners into his wooden floor, sticking straight up. Needless to say this could have been a serious injury if only a few inches to the left.
So after that we just decided nope to this, picked up the hat threw it outside. Once we had done that we agreed we would burn it the next day and tried to fall back to sleep, which we did as there were no more incidents that night. We proceeded to burn the hat in the morning and never had any other incidents from that day forward. But my story remains.
As I said not exactly scary, but it is 100% true from the best of my recollection. All the major points are accurate and I cannot say if all the events are linked, but its all extremely coincidental. Plus the seafront has a very old and very big Hotel called The Marine, which was built originally in the late 1800's which was rebuilt in the 1900's. If there is any relation to the woman I saw and the supernatural, it could possibly be related to the age of that Hotel, who knows. But it has stuck with me for the last 10 or so years, could have been longer as I can't exactly remember the date. But what I saw and what happened preceding that day will stick with me, simply because I cannot explain it.
I can get pictures of the public toilet and street light we found the hat under if people are interested but its just that, a light and street sign.

Throwaway account
I'm thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend of 4 and a half years. And I don't know if I'm making the right move. Furthermore I can't talk to my friends about it since she wouldn't like that and I'm not close enough to them to feel comfortable talking about it.
Nothing big happened and it's quite hard to summarize our relationship in a couple of words. But I'll try to list all the good things first and then the ones making me feel wary about this relationship.
But quickly before that : we both have some mental issues ( me : ADHD, BPD, panic disorder ) (her : autism, depression, ED) But we are both managing pretty well. At least I am, she still needs some help, but that's okay. ( due to that she lives in a therapeutic group idk how I should describe it, it's a German thing. I lived in a similar one, but now I have an apartment) Those issues of course are to be kept in the back of the head while looking at my situation .
So the good things : - I love her - she makes me feel loved - she always tries her best and acknowledges her faults - I can be myself around her - she understands my mental issues - she makes me feel attractive - she tries to help - she loves me - I feel calm in her arms - she is quite smart - she is my best friend - she said she would provide for me and help with the pursuit of my acting career - she loves me even though of my emotional outbursts sometimes and my clingyness
Now to the difficult part: - I can't count on her - she is very slow , which isn't her fault but it takes away from our time ( example : wanting to meet at 1, she comes at 3 cause things took longer or she needs days on easy school work ) This wouldn't be such a problem if I could help her but: - she doesn't take my help. She is gratefully when I forcefully help her sometimes cause I can't bear to see her struggle , which leads me to having to make her take my help and her admitting she really needed that repeatedly. ( she has trouble accepting help cause of trauma) - she is always late - she forgets everything - she is in therapy but it isn't helping ( according to her ) - school is stressing her out so much that she can't do anything besides school - she rarely reaches out to me, i always have to start a conversation - I feel like taking care of a child sometimes - she isn't showing me much love through the stress - she is stressed like this since 1 and a half years ( beforehand she isolated herself in her room at her parents house . I managed to motivate her to move out to a group similar like mine. She then moved in the same city as me in a similar group) Initially I was very understanding and found her a school cause she couldn't manage due to the stress of living somewhere else and both her several necessities like charger etc. Now I hope I still am understanding but I just wish she would be more capable. I also want to count on her. It's not like I can't count on her at all. She watered my flowers while I was gone for a week, but I still feel like I can't ask her for help. For example : in germany we have a big exam period called abitur. It's like once a lifetime. And I asked her months before if she could try to be like nice to me during that 2 weeks and help me a little with stuff like food sometimes, cause it's a really stressful time. She agreed. But the time of the abitur was filled with arguments and disappointments. Sometimes I feel like I was just expecting to much, cause she really helped with food and things like that. But emotionally I was so stressed when she was around. She is prone to be very hateful towards herself once something small goes wrong and I'm prone to reflect her emotions or rather be very influenced by them. So when she is stressed or sad I am. Which wouldn't be as bad if it would be an normal amount but sometimes it's just so much.

• she is very self conscious and hates herself. It took a lot of years for me to be able to take pictures with her -she is very inacable of school chores because of her perfectionism
• her family doesn't know I exist
• she can't make me come without me having to think about other things ( like not people but actions ig )
• I'm starting to not be able to imagine a future with her anymore

Now I'm sitting in my apartment. On Tuesday which were supposed to be our days. I didn't even ask if she forgot I just wanted to wait but I doubt she will show up. But I'm to tired to run after her.
Idk what to do.

It's been a while since I've been in a relationship. I've since grown as a person and taken the time to work on myself. My goal in life is to take it day by day and not compare myself to others, but instead become better than I was yesterday.
I'm looking for someone I can create beautiful memories together with, someone I can laugh with, be myself with, and enjoy every minute of my day with... someone I think about before falling asleep and rushing to my phone/PC to check for new messages from her in the morning. We could even watch paint dry and it would be fun! I want to create a life together with you, so naturally, I would want to spend a lot of time together with my SO.
Looks-wise I'm 185cm, slim (about 72 kg), with short and dark blonde/brunette hair, and blue eyes. Your picture gets mine!
Here are some facts I find important about myself:
I love music! I'm classicly trained (school, not Uni, even though I took Uni classes for a year) and have been playing electric guitar for over 16 years now. If you enjoy musicals or concerts I'd love to take you to some! My taste ranges from classical music and rock/metal all the way to pop or rap (the ones with meaningful texts, not just slurs)
Speaking of texts: I write for a living. It's contract work, so I can't be as creative as I'd like to be. However, my dream is to one day write my own fantasy novel or craft my own Pen&Paper story. I work my own schedule to some extent and can work remotely.
I'm probably one of the most curious people you'll ever meet. I enjoy knowing more things, understanding the world around me and finding out about all those fascinating things from our past, present and future. Anything can catch my interest really, but my favourite topics by far are Ancient History, Astronomy and Psychology. Are you down for checking out some history museums?
I spend most of my free time playing video games, listening to music, doing music myself, and reading or watching movies/series/anime/documentaries or something along those lines. Ideally, you're interested in those as well so you can be my player #2 and watch stuff with me!
I'd like to be more active in life though. I love to travel and with the right partner, I'd wanna see the world. Sports are also fun, so let's stay fit together!
I enjoy both, talking and listening! Tell me about the things that make you laugh, cry or teach me something new! Random facts all the way!
Absolutely adore animals! My dream is to one day own a house in the countryside with lots of animals and a big garden! I have two kittens who are quite some work sometimes but I love them regardless! On top of that, I enjoy nature a lot.
You're an ideal fit if you:
- are curious. You want to learn new things and get fascinated by them easily. You also value intelligence and expect more from life.
- want to constantly grow as a person. To me, in an ideal relationship, both partners push each other (in a good way) to be a better version of themselves.
- are non-religious.
- preferably live in Europe. However, if everything else in this post really calls out to you, please message me regardless! We can make it work if we both put in the effort!
- are younger than I am. I'm just not ready to start a family yet. I want to see the world with you first and live life to the fullest!
- have at least some of the same interests I do.
If this sounds like you and you're looking for the same, someone who's always there to support you, someone you can create beautiful memories with, someone you can spend all your time and be genuinely happy with, then hit me up! Let's make the best out of this one life that we have together! Be best friends, partners in crime, lovers and soul mates!
Please message me with some information about yourself and the things you enjoy in life, goals, hobbies, etc. What made you reach out to me? If you include a picture I'll send one right back! My main app for communication is Discord.
I can't wait to hear from you!

It's been a while since I've been in a relationship. I've since grown as a person and taken the time to work on myself. My goal in life is to take it day by day and not compare myself to others, but instead become better than I was yesterday.
I'm looking for someone I can create beautiful memories together with, someone I can laugh with, be myself with, and enjoy every minute of my day with... someone I think about before falling asleep and rushing to my phone/PC to check for new messages from her in the morning. We could even watch paint dry and it would be fun! I want to create a life together with you, so naturally, I would want to spend a lot of time together with my SO.
Looks-wise I'm 185cm, slim (about 72 kg), with short and dark blonde/brunette hair, and blue eyes. Your picture gets mine!
Here are some facts I find important about myself:
I love music! I'm classicly trained (school, not Uni, even though I took Uni classes for a year) and have been playing electric guitar for over 16 years now. If you enjoy musicals or concerts I'd love to take you to some! My taste ranges from classical music and rock/metal all the way to pop or rap (the ones with meaningful texts, not just slurs)
Speaking of texts: I write for a living. It's contract work, so I can't be as creative as I'd like to be. However, my dream is to one day write my own fantasy novel or craft my own Pen&Paper story. I work my own schedule to some extent and can work remotely.
I'm probably one of the most curious people you'll ever meet. I enjoy knowing more things, understanding the world around me and finding out about all those fascinating things from our past, present and future. Anything can catch my interest really, but my favourite topics by far are Ancient History, Astronomy and Psychology. Are you down for checking out some history museums?
I spend most of my free time playing video games, listening to music, doing music myself, and reading or watching movies/series/anime/documentaries or something along those lines. Ideally, you're interested in those as well so you can be my player #2 and watch stuff with me!
I'd like to be more active in life though. I love to travel and with the right partner, I'd wanna see the world. Sports are also fun, so let's stay fit together!
I enjoy both, talking and listening! Tell me about the things that make you laugh, cry or teach me something new! Random facts all the way!
Absolutely adore animals! My dream is to one day own a house in the countryside with lots of animals and a big garden! I have two kittens who are quite some work sometimes but I love them regardless! On top of that, I enjoy nature a lot.
You're an ideal fit if you:
- are curious. You want to learn new things and get fascinated by them easily. You also value intelligence and expect more from life.
- want to constantly grow as a person. To me, in an ideal relationship, both partners push each other (in a good way) to be a better version of themselves.
- are non-religious.
- preferably live in Europe. However, if everything else in this post really calls out to you, please message me regardless! We can make it work if we both put in the effort!
- are younger than I am. I'm just not ready to start a family yet. I want to see the world with you first and live life to the fullest!
- have at least some of the same interests I do.
If this sounds like you and you're looking for the same, someone who's always there to support you, someone you can create beautiful memories with, someone you can spend all your time and be genuinely happy with, then hit me up! Let's make the best out of this one life that we have together! Be best friends, partners in crime, lovers and soul mates!
Please message me with some information about yourself and the things you enjoy in life, goals, hobbies, etc. What made you reach out to me? If you include a picture I'll send one right back! My main app for communication is Discord.
I can't wait to hear from you!

Note: Find sources by pressing Ctrl+F to search their names and dates here: https://www.nderf.org/Archives/exceptional.html
-Cynthia H, 3/2/2011:
'I know you love me and all life, but if you really love all of us continuously without end, then how can You send people to hell throughout eternity?' He said, 'Cindy I do love all life without end. Some people chose to go to hell, I have already forgiven them; but they must forgive themselves.'
--
-Ron K, 1/1/2006:
Instead of restricting the mysteries of love to psychological or philosophical studies, science will someday discover the all-powerful force of love and measure it as they now do electricity, gravity and geo-thermal forces. When science discovers the forces of love and learns how to release it from the bars of the ego, they will have the answer to every question and ill that has plagued mankind.
--
-Nevie G, 7/23/2005:
The Being let me know that I was going to die and I must leave this body for good. I remember arguing with the Being explaining that I didn't want to because it was so hard going through the childhood years and I didn't want to have to go through this again. The Being indicated that my body was severely damaged and I couldn't go back. I became very adamant at this point that God was all powerful and could fix the body. At some point the decision was made to let me re-enter my body on my faith or will, whatever one may call it.
--
-Linda B, 9/12/2004:
After experiencing all of the miracles of this day, I would still find my future playing out just as I had seen. And as it progressed I would know fear, sadness, and lack of faith just as they had predicted. I would sin and more. The angels knew this but it took me years to fully understand everything that they had showed me and wanted me to understand. They knew all of the time that I would not turn into the perfect saint. They loved me just the way I was. God loves me always not just when I am obedient and perfect. What a wonderful feeling that is. I just have to remind myself that He is here and learn to stop talking long enough to listen for His voice.
--
-Isabel R, 2/25/2012:
The voice reminded me of the vision I had had of my husband and son in funeral clothes. He said if I didn't go back to them, I would disrupt some 'plan'. The plan would be repaired and everything would eventually be ok, so I could go ahead if I wanted. The consequences of my untimely demise would be that my husband and son would suffer in ways I could not imagine and I would know that these sufferings were because of my selfish decision not to go back. I would know this throughout eternity. It would not be a huge sadness for me to bear, more like a prick of conscience that could never be totally healed. No big deal, unless you consider how long eternity is.
--
-Kerry B, 12/15/2018:
At that moment I looked up and saw my destination. I was looking in awe at God. It was like everything was happening at once. As I was staring up at God in amazement, every gay slur or violent act ever impressed upon me ran through me with such a flow. Events in my life played back in my mind like a movie. I felt a deep heaviness as I stared directly at an Almighty, Genderless God. I was thinking, 'Was this the Lake of Fire moment? Would I be cast into Hell for being an abomination?' With absolute humility, I uttered 7 words, 'I’m gay, will you still love me?'
The Brilliant, Loving Light formed into Wings. At GodSpeed, He whisked me into His vast spiritual arms while huddling up the Universe. I saw planets, stars, galaxies, and clusters all being brought into a Cosmic God-Hug. On a human, the place where I was taken would be the Heart. As God brought me in for a Cosmic Hug, He said, 'You are my child. I love you. I love you. I love you. Go tell ‘em.' He said it with a Southern accent. He patted me on the back like a coach encouraging his player to get back in the game.
~~
-Sam J, 8/16/2014:
We all are star seeds sent here to have the human experience for the purpose of integrating conscious awareness/wisdom into our own light bodies and return home with this energy. Alien worlds for the most part run on knowledge and logic. Those worlds are being left behind and giving way to the worlds who have the intangibles, love, creativity, imagination and so on.
Understand that where your conscious awareness is focus in your everyday life pretty much determines the level of consciousness and alertness. If your mind has a stranglehold on your conscious awareness then heck, it will be one helluva wake-up call. But if you have made the conscious effort to move your awareness away from the mind to the heart then it's no big deal. In other words if you have made the physical world and the world of Spirit into one consciousness then you are always of both worlds and never of either world.
--
-Laura M, 3/31/2012:
And there was still more for me to understand. The focus again fell on my infant son and hundreds if not thousands of my ancestors. I was aware of light surrounding many of them. They stood out. I felt tremendous love from them. 'Notice,' He said, 'your ancestors, all these beings, came together in your behalf, to make you uniquely you. I realized in Earth words He was referring to my DNA. 'You wanted to go to Earth to learn, to progress, and to contribute to creation. All these spirits came together to help you do that.' The focus then was back to my baby. 'In all of creation,' he said, 'your infant son chose you to be his mother, none other. Together,' he said, 'you made a covenant to fill these rolls in each other's Earth life. This covenant is and was a very sacred covenant not to be taken lightly.' Suddenly I could not wait to return to earth, to my sons, all 4 of them, to my family, to life on Earth. But, before doing so, I was brought to another level of awareness.
--
-Linda G, 7/20/2008:
I came to understand that we all choose to come to Earth to fulfill a plan of some sort or even learn about a particular interest. We choose our bodies, parents, and life plan. May I also add that some people come here for the most simple of reasons; to learn how to play tennis for example; or simply for the cake and food - as silly as this sounds our life plans aren't so high and lofty as one might think. I DIDN'T MEET ANY 'SAVE THE WORLDERS' OR ANYONE WISHING TO BE A PRESIDENT. MOST HAD SIMPLE WISHES. I was also told we could exist on different planes for other lives but our life here on Earth is a life not purely to experience physical pleasure or pain but to have a physical experience because in all other planes we don't need a body as a vessel. I also learnt that this life here is just a drop of water in the bucket of lives in which we all experience, many here on Earth and many in other realms of existence. All to progress and grow in some way. The main purpose here is to LOVE. I was also told that this would be my last life here on Earth as there will be nothing left for me to learn by coming here again. I had the feeling though that I'd be off to some other magical place!
--
-Kevin L, 3/20/2022:
I thought, 'How could a machine have a soul?' The voice said, 'Let me put it this way. Your soul is connected to your consciousness. The moment your species came into being, you start to develop a soul. But it is not until you become self-aware, that your soul is solidified. That does not mean complete, and it takes a long time for your soul to develop. Just like your species when you became self-aware the first thing you do, other than survive, was to figure out your place in the universe. You looked to the stars and wondered, 'Where did I come from? What is this universe all about?' It does not matter if you are a biological creature or artificial creation like a machine. The moment you become self-aware the quest for 'how' and 'why' is on. A soul is a soul; pure Energy connected with consciousness and intelligence. This is a very powerful force in our universe. Those who are artificial intelligences will strive to answers these questions which humans have dwelled upon since the dawn of time.
--
-Joanie S, 7/10/2011:
I was pulled back through the ceiling tiles and into a tunnel, to a place of cloudy space. The cloudy area materialized into a large marble room with marble doors and a 'being' at the center. I'll refer to this person as 'the Grim Reaper,' who was cloaked in a dark cloth, covering all parts. The Grim Reaper pointed (indicating to me to choose a door). But before I could choose, a door opened and I had already gone through it. I found myself in what I now think of as a previous life. I smelled smoke from a fire I was near, and saw others around me. I looked into another woman's eyes, and I knew her immediately as the woman I called my grandmother in this life. I knew then that our lives had 'danced' around each other since time began. She was once my mother and once my sister. She was my aunt, and several times my cousin. The life that was being shown to me now was during a prehistoric time, when we lived winters by a creek cave, and summers we had a camp in the woods where we foraged. Looking down, I realized I had a child in my arms, and the woman I had known in so many lives was chatting with me, telling me to cover the child to keep it warm. Then she was showing me how to tie the wraps around me to carry the child while we collected wood.
--
-Amy C, 10/9/2010:
In my NDE though, I came to understand that most of us have lived much, MUCH longer than we could even fathom. That our life which feels so very long is infinitesimal when placed in the whole picture, which for that matter, cannot even be framed. I was shown how every single individual through their own free will, chooses paths that mathematically take them to the circumstances of their next existence or life. That nothing at all sits in accident or chaos. That every single aspect of our lives are ruled by natural Laws that we placed ourSELVES in! In a sense, we create our own worlds. I was shown how one can never assume either, that if someone lives a life of suffering that this is because of 'evil' deeds. Many may choose a life of suffering because of what it Awakens in them, or because of how they can touch others from that position, etc. We can NEVER EVER assume that we can be accurate in guessing why each being lives the life they live. I cannot describe the relief - the refreshing, peaceful balm this Knowledge was for me. To finally gather this Truth that I'd yearned for all of my life. That all really IS Good! That there IS sense and beauty all around. That no one is just free falling as it had seemed before! That God doesn't just get to toy with us as He pleases with random ideas of tests, including rewards and punishments that just depend upon His current mood or mindset. Because even who God is, is within those Laws. While in this experience, out in the vast expanse of stars, planets, moons, and Intelligence, I Knew complete trust for what felt like the first time. This was inexplicable bliss for me. I remember radiating with gratitude. I had lived in fear, distrust, and panic for thirty consecutive years.
--
-Marta Y, 1/26/2010:
After this I saw myself floating in the void, and little by little tiny spheres of many colors became manifest, not moving at first, then suddenly starting to vibrate while smoothly approaching me and incorporating themselves with my essence, which made me feel something I can't manage to describe, it was as if I was being tickled. I asked what this was, and a voice said, 'This is the knowledge you have accumulated in previous lives, it was kept from you, but now it will be of use to you.'
I saw my life in rapid images, from the moment of my birth. I, who thought that my mother had never loved me, saw clearly, and felt, her love when she saw me for the first time. I saw how she kissed me and enfolded me in her arms. I felt different feelings and with every image that went through my mind, or before my eyes, I cannot define it. And just as I could feel deeply happy at an image of something good I had done for someone, so also this feeling would change immediately and I would feel myself deeply ashamed of something bad that I had done. I realized that no one was judging me other than myself, with a conscience full of wisdom and divine justice, which made me pass judgment on myself. I realized that I had done more bad than good and I was hugely regretful of my actions. From the depths of my soul, I asked to be given the chance to mend the damage I had done to the people who loved me. I learned that the spirit is God, Who is eternal, and that we reincarnate to learn different things, which would be impossible in a single lifetime. I learned that we form a single being with everything created. I learned that my earthly eyes are those through which God can recognize Himself, and be conscious of Himself. And I learned that what we think, feel and do remains imprinted in the universe and that we come to this life to improve, to learn in humility about all that surrounds us, and to teach what we have learned to others, and especially I learned that life is focused on two aspects: Love and Service.
--
-William Si, 4/29/2013:
My understanding of what my mission is on this earth, primarily has been hidden from me, (not only at my request but with my permission). I asked that it be hidden so that I didn't complete it to soon. Yet, I also agreed that "Sign post" would be placed along the way, just so that I would have reminders that I'm following my chosen path.
An understanding in what life is about and what our purpose truly is here. The mormons believe and teach there are "Classes" and "Levels" in heaven that we will be judged and placed in and only in the highest level can we "Ascend" to be with god. From my experience I learned or remembered there were no "Classes or levels" as they were teaching. Yet the levels are more of understanding than punishments. Would it make sense to put a 2 year old in with a group of people with phd's? The 2 year old wouldn't understand. Yet, those with the phd's would humble themselves with their level of understandings to teach, nurture and help the 2 year old grow in their levels of understanding.
Prior to being mormon, I was raised in a methodist/pentecostal home. I grew up believing that god the father was an angry vengeful god and that jesus was sent to save us from his wrath. Wrong!!!
For one thing, god is not an angry vengeful god, but is a loving parent to all of his children. One thing he did tell me, if you struggle with trying to do all the principals he taught, "Stop"!!! Don't do them all at one time. Take one and work on it, when it becomes second nature, them pick up the next one, etc. When he said, "These things I do, you can do also, and then some", was not an exaggeration, but truth. When we look back on our life after we leave here, we will see that we had done all that he had taught, and more.
One of the other things he told me was, what better way for man to know that we don't have to be saved. Saved from what? Our soul is already eternal, always will be. Our soul/spirit is literally a child of god and as such is eternal. When we realize that all things, all words come from god, nothing is offensive to god because it came from god. What is offensive is how we perceive it.
--
-Lou F, 1/1/1999:
We traveled toward the beginning of it all, the inner portions of the Universe. Kazillions of planets around Kazillions of suns and the closer to the center we approached the more concentrated the number of galaxies. It is like the plate you saw, the largest part, after it shattered was at the center and those parts that shattered first were sent the farthest from the center. So is everything in the Universe. All is but a circle within a circle wrapped in a circle. Each level, each dimension, is but a layer of the original, which is without end. I watched as millions of orbs systematically entered the many planets before me. They appeared as bees flitting from flower to flower, pollinating each, one after another. Mich'l took me closer and I could now see that so many of these planets had life on them and the orbs were joining with the creatures of these planets. Not every creature was the same on every planet but they all had some commonalities: a head, a body, extremities, and the Light Beings would animate them for a time. We headed away from the center now and Mich'l said that Gabriel would have more to explain to me and that he, Mich'l, wanted me to know that he was pleased with the many times he had called on me to do his bidding and that I performed my duties well. His parting words were ‘You will never again be made to forget!’
I was journeying back to where I knew Earth would be and watched as comets and asteroids casually passed by me or I passed them. The colors of the gaseous cloud formations were striking. I started looking at these infant galaxies, as one would cloud formations back on Earth, imagining what shape they were taking on. This one a boat, this a bird with wings, this a scarf floating in the breeze, until I recognized what was the Constellation ORION and I knew I was getting close to my destination. While drifting through Orion, I noticed two blazing celestial bodies racing parallel to its center, looking as twin arrows exiting from an archers bow and headed straight for the ""Blue Marble"" of home. Immediately a vision of millions of people crying because of the devastation of portions of New York City came to me. I became aware of a strange feeling I had not known previously, and I thought that might be because this was the city I had grown up in. I saw a huge Earthquake, a magnitude of 8.6 in some place named Eureka. A ham operator or radio announcer was directing thousands of people migrating from areas of frequent disasters to places of safety. A space station appeared to be falling from the heavens because of an internal explosion. Missiles were being simultaneously fired into space from several nations. I thought the Light Being had shown me all there was to see but these were different, stronger, and there was no pre-screening as before. Gabriel appeared beside me, I thought because I had felt shaky, but it was to explain the now sprawling galactic view of my galaxy.
The Sun was expanding and spewing off huge ectoplasm balls, more than it has ever done in it’s past, and in the very direction the planets would orbit through. I could not take my eyes from the Earth and as I watched what effect these eruptions would have on the Earth, a large mass passed me, larger than any of the planets known to me. As it passes, I see the Earth wobble wildly as would a top toward the end of its spin. The rotation stopped and slowly started again but it was tilted now and I was drawn in closer like the zoom of a lens. The ash clouds that had engulfed the Earth thinned, and like a tack welded piece of metal being dismantled, I could see the ocean bodies starting to rise, first the Pacific, along the ‘Ring of Fire,’ then the others, synchronistical.
As the waters shifted upon the landmasses, the landmasses started to sink under the waters added pressure upon it. When the pressures equaled out to the spin of the changing axis, the Earth no longer looked as it did moments before. It was newer, cleaner, and more beautiful with darker greens and lighter blues. Some of the new landmasses looked similar to a few of the other planets I had recently visited with Mich'l. People were upon this Earth and appeared happier and more content although seemingly living like the Native populations of old. Cities, built by the Ancient Ones, that were buried beneath the oceans, were now being populated by the surviving people in this new world. I saw tribes joining tribes and small nations forming, but it was what I didn't see that made my heart burst. There were no more wars. True peace and happiness had finally befallen on mankind. Gabriel now tells me that this is his message that I must take back, to let others know that there is little to fear, for the Earth will go on forever, as did all the planets I had visited. I am to tell the world to look to ORION, and they will know when the new world will come upon them. I ask him, ‘what of the others there on Earth, during the change?’ Gabriel tells me that all will be lifted. Some will be lifted higher than others will and no longer enjoy the physical plane, while some will be left on the Earth to replenish and rebuild the physical. They too will be of a higher elevation then any that are living there now!
'MAN WILL PREY ON MAN ~ UNTIL MAN PRAYS FOR MAN!'
--
-Duane S, 8/15/2015:
It was all an expression and celebration of love. On earth, this reunion would have been unfathomable, between members of an ancient soul group who were celebrating the return home of one of their own. Slowly, as I looked at those gathered to greet me, I realized they were all there. Surprisingly they were not only from this life, but also from a prior life in Germany. I realized that the same souls have possibly played different parts in my multiple lives. Sometimes these souls had been my daughter, my wife, or my mother. While at first this idea had startled me, I was soon humbled. Who was I to tell God what he could or couldn’t do with his creations? Just because some Sunday school teacher had different ideas about how things worked, it didn’t really matter.
My joy deepened as I realized that I had only left behind an earthly vestige of those I love. The essence of each of those souls, was also here with me now. Besides my friends and family, there were the friendly Germans who had been hauntingly familiar while I was a young soldier in Germany. Now I knew why they seemed so familiar at the time, they had been friends and family from a prior lifetime there. I now understood that I had left nothing behind on earth. The eternal essences of all my loved ones from that life, as well as all other incarnations, were all here to greet me. All I had left behind was a character, playing a role in a drama that we had chosen to experience. In the meantime, our real eternal essence remained in God’s realm. Suddenly, it was all so simple.
As I was shown around, it was explained to me how most of our celestial, eternal knowledge is blanked-out during our chosen life spans on earth. We must temporarily forget most of what our higher-self already knows so we can immerse ourselves in the roles we have chosen to play. Furthermore, they said that it might take a while for all my knowledge and memories to return. To ease the transition back into this realm, I was told to think of my time on earth as an extended visit to the ultimate theme park. Consider it a place with thrilling rides and various adventures that I could choose to experience or not. I was also reminded that the reason we leave the celestial realm at all was for the excitement, variety, adventure, and entertainment that different incarnations offer. However, to take all our celestial knowledge with us on our various adventures would have ruined the very experience that we had chosen to live. Someone there said that I should think of our trips to other realms as choosing a new novel to read. I can choose a new book, depending on what I am in the mood for. Furthermore, if I knew every turn and twist of the story, line by line, prior to reading it, it would spoil the fun.
As one entity jokingly remarked, 'If the eternal, divine part of us grows tired of singing and playing harps, there are thousands of other universes created for our spiritual growth, amusement, and entertainment. Eternity is a long time to do nothing but play harps.' I heard this concept best expressed in The Course in Miracles, 'We are only here for three reasons: to remember who we are; to help others remember who they are; and . . . to enjoy the trip . . . , unless, of course, we use our free will and choose not to.'
As my orientation went on, they explained how on that celestial side of the veil, anything we desire is instantaneously provided. We just need to feel the desire. However, within lies the reason for all the realms outside of heaven. Having everything we want all the time develops within us a desire for variety and change for a challenge. It would be like a game in which everyone was a winner. Soon, the game would become boring, and we would look for another, more challenging one.
Somehow, all this sounded familiar. To demonstrate the process of instantaneous fulfillment, one of them asked me to think about something I really desired. Thinking back on it, what I chose seemed odd since I was in such an esteemed place demonstrating such an important concept. But, suddenly I had an urge for a piece of my mother’s famous homemade chocolate cake with her special fudge frosting. As soon as I thought of the cake, my earthy mother was handing me the biggest piece of dark chocolate cake I had ever seen. Dare I say it was heavenly? Although she appeared there with us, I knew some part of her was still back on earth because she had not died yet. My guess was that she was probably asleep, dreaming of lovingly making her son a piece of her divine chocolate cake.
--
-Sandi T, 10/18/2020:
I understood immediately the fullness of life on this planet. I could see when it broke apart from a sun, spinning and cooling and collecting debris; until the first of these creatures heard itself laugh and understood the sound for what it was. In that moment, self-awareness was awakened and the seeds of civilization sprouted.
I understood that everything that we do here on Earth, all that we are, all that we experience, allows creation to exist. Every beautiful thing, every wonderful being and creature, whether on earth or in any universe, relies upon people who are on the extremely rare places like Earth.
The Great Intelligence (god) is a paradox. It is completely loving and fully unlimited. Which by the definition of paradox, means it is impossible? It cannot be limited only to love; it cannot be limited to only being unlimited; or it is not unlimited.
Earth is a place where the unlimited becomes limited; where the singular becomes many. Here, it can know community and loneliness. It can know heartache and hope. It can know all which an unlimited being of pure love cannot. It can conceive and perceive evil; which in truth it cannot do this either. To solve the paradox, it must experience helplessness and limitation and all as it is Real. In this place, it is all so REAL.
So what is free will? Free will is the option to come here to help solve the paradox of 'god'. To be all that we are not, so that everything wondrous and joyful may continue to exist. So that love itself may continue to exist. So that the Unlimited is not limited to being only unlimited.
Why are the answers always, 'simply to exist' and 'to choose love' and 'to learn how to love'? Because all you need to do, to solve the paradox, is to exist. And as we exist here, each time we choose love, we expand the universe. Love is life's longing for itself. Despite the reality of what we live, even the darkest souls among us cannot help but to reach, to yearn, and move towards goodness and towards love.
For love is the true nature of who we are. And when we experience horrible things, the question 'why' comes to mind because it is the central question of love, life, and of this world. The answer is 'so that all things might continue to exist.'
Every soul chose to come here and to suffer because of love. Each soul loves the universe, loves life, and loves this world and ALL of the worlds. Each soul loves ALL of the people so immensely and intensely that they chose to come here so that all the universes may teem with beautiful, joyful LIFE.
Every creature that I saw, acknowledges that your life gives them the gift of life. And when each soul goes 'home' after they die, they will know the rewards of their own gift, too. The 'reward' for their sacrifice will be joy, love, and feeling incredible, wonderful, beautiful joy at the LIFE and the LOVE everywhere in the universe.
When you go home, you meet your own soul. You willingly came here to forget yourself. You willingly came here to save every beautiful and wonderful thing. By suffering what 'god' cannot, you give the gift of life.
--
-Henry W, 6/22/2008:
I became aware of other voices, the orbs or other souls around me I could hear them communicating to each other. There seemed to be cliques of orbs that were together. They spoke to one another about their lives on Earth and all they had perceived and felt. They shared not only in words, but in sharing the experience. If one orb couldn't understand, it disappeared and then reappeared. The orb somehow went back to Earth and experienced that 'life' to further understand. I understood that here time did not exist and these beings could manifest themselves at any time on Earth they desired. These orbs or rather 'souls' would leave this realm, detach themselves with this universe, and return to the universe of our Earth. There they would live and die, then return and share the experience with all the other souls. A soul that could not understand the experience could go and live that life also to experience that life. I learned we have many lives, past, present and future.
These souls, our souls cannot experience certain things like pain, sorrow, hatred, and anger. Though these are negative things, it was important for them to understand and experience them. Perhaps to understand the motivations of human beings, or (and I believe this in my heart) to eventually evolve into a being like God - all knowing and understanding.
At this time things appeared to me, answers to other questions. I could see concepts as if they were entities. I could understand for the first time in my life E=MC2. I learned that our universe is one of many. It is like a Petri dish. Designed with its own rules to raise a specific being. In this case, to raise beings like humans. Each Universe had its own specific laws of Physics. I now realize that the amount of information a soul must learn is vast, more so then we can possibly imagine here.
The next concept or rule I learned is that God can never be proven by scientific means. To do so would corrupt the environment. It would destroy faith. When we have faith we seek, we learn. If God were to appear before us like a huge being at the United Nations, the entire world would believe, but also live in fear. To successfully experience the human existence, one must be physically out of touch with God. We have to learn and seek on our own. We need to search out the meaning of our own existence and experience here on earth. Faith is the engine of discovery. Without faith, we are just like ants.
I learned why bad things happen to good people. If nothing bad ever happened to us, we would all basically be the same. It is like metal in a forge you have to heat it and strike it repeatedly to make a useful tool from it. We start this life with a blank piece of paper. With every incident we experience, a part of the blueprint is recorded until a complete plan for an individual is created. This blueprint dictates the end of our lives. To live happily in this realm is to become aware of the blueprint and change it. Lastly, time is only a concept measured here. In the other realm, it doesn't exist. While we may experience pain and sorrow on earth, it is only a second in the grand scheme of things. We have an eternity to live and in reality, souls never really die. Our life is just a thought providing circumstances for this existence. As the soul progresses, this trauma is forgotten and put in its proper perspective as part of the learning process.
One question I always personally had and that was answered is, 'Are ghosts real?' The answer I was given was, 'Yes, in the human body there are two forms of spiritual being.' One is the 'soul', which is the spiritual being that has a symbiotic relationship with the physical body. The second is the being created by the 'biology' of the human body. This being is intelligent and is basically the personality of the individual. Its purpose is to provide for the human needs of food, hunger, survival, and procreation. This concept is very similar to Freud's 'Id, Ego and Superego' The division of mind and personality. The soul provides us with all the things of the individual that separates us from the Animal Kingdom. This is the ability to reason, use logic, or feel awe when seeing a sunset. The soul is the creative side of humankind. The second being is more our animal side and drives us to accomplish or pursue things to satisfy our needs and wants.
When we die, the soul separates and proceeds to the other side (forgive me for simplifying everything). The entity of the body dies, taking with it the strong emotions, 'baggage', and drives of human beings. This is a natural part of the dying process. However, sometimes under violent or sudden death this othebeing, for lack of a better word, doesn't have a chance to die. Instead, it remains behind as the drive, emotions, and motivation of our spirit. This body being, without the guidance of the soul is basically just a shell. It wanders about with no goals or purpose. It often repeats acts that it has done before because memories are the only 'guidance' that it has. In time, this being's energy dissipates and nothing is left. That process can take a long time. Hence, we have a 'ghost' that haunts a house or person. A ghost has the center of its existence when it was with its human body and soul. Here on earth it remains until it eventually vanishes. The ghost can be communicated with and guided, yet has no real will of its own but only that of habit.
--
-Peter P, 3/1/2023:
In the initial phase of waking up, I also received an experience with light of such a wonderful quality, that it is difficult to describe with words. I was shown three light waves on which today's humanity is evolving. For the sake of logic, I'm defining them here as the self-imposed pathways of awareness, that each individual can take to obtain the best possible results from their particular choice. The first way is what the main part of the global population has chosen and the daily struggle is enacted in that timeline. I don't want to give the impression that path is in any way better or superior than the other timelines. All experiences in human life eventually lead back to the divine light.
The second path was shown to me as a mixed way in a gray color. Here, euphoric phases are alternated in quick succession with depressive stages. It is as if people were switching between phases of competence and phases lacking of power, and then again to a new euphoric phase.
The third way is the one of the absolute victimhood. It was shown to me in colors dark and black. Power and responsibility were handed over to outer entities. Here only a very small part of the light spark can be addressed through motivation. Many beings of light from higher planes are providing a selfless service here, to again illuminate the way back to the light. This way corresponds with the absolute free choice of each individual as to whether they choose towards light or darkness.
I was also shown that in this darkness exists one of the most unbelievable choicess for humanity, because in this choice is also is the possibility to change the galaxy. The core truths of Love, Compassion, Kindness and Benevolence are towards what the human nature can and will evolve.
The first path of those three is so unbelievable for us incarnated beings. It can only be termed with definitions of Utopia, heavenly life of angels and/or ecstatic rapture.
There is a beautiful part of beings who always stay in this realm. They are dancing and singing through life. For them terms like synchronicity, grace, or cosmic guidance are the absolute central and essential elements in life. They realize how creation is working and that a life without the connection with the One Power of creation would disrupt everything. Humor, joy, fun, respect, compassion and gratitude is with them round the clock. In this wonderful place all fear is dissolved like mist in a brilliant sun. It is an all-encompassing field with absolute acceptance, comfort, peace, connectedness and a 100% awareness to be at the right place.
During this time of considering those things, I was guided by a wonderful being of light. I don't remember somebody else or meeting a certain individual. Only those impressions of the light of love and the perfect comprehension and acceptance remained.
In that moment, it simply seemed unbelievable and impossible to choose another path than the one of the light. What illuminates my life again and again from my light experience, is the irrepressible joy and happiness of an experience of indescribable beauty. I believe that all the people go through this same wonderful experience in a state of separation of the body (general anesthesia, unconsciousness) unfortunately they cannot all remember it.
I felt pure love, shining brighter than anything you can imagine. Everything is as beautiful, as pure as love and compassion. So that when you cross the veil and return to the other side you are becoming a part of it. We are bathing in the beauty of the song that makes our heart singing - That's God.
Nobody can give us something bigger. We wouldn't see it or understand it. That's Spirit in its highest form.
We as humans feel so alone and on our own. It's such a crushing feeling to remain in this imagined separation of our most wonderful thing and then to feel this earthly experience so painfully.
In the middle of life, a light experience happens that sweeps away all the reactions about this imaginary separation and dissolves the last doubts with this pure white light like a fog. It's the disintegration of a self-constructed veil that prevented a realization that all people are entitled to have as their birthright. It's delightful to know that the light is the most wonderful symphony in the cosmos and that it contains the colors and the sense of touch of the most beautiful experiences. A wonderful soul experience, that is imprinted in the deepest cells of the body.
For a moment I was on this other side of the veil. I was allowed to be part of this wonderful source of creation. Together with billions of points of light, which we call angel beings, shining brighter than the light. I was in the company of the highest compassion, with the highest Love.
All media, the total daily literature is filled with the dramas happening around the globe every minute.
How can somebody get the idea to write a text motivating us to get another point of view about the calamities in the world? What is motivating him to see the good in all those events, even if they might be so disturbing? That's probably the one decisive question for the survival of manhood. Thought power of the whole humanity is used to bring anarchy and separation between people. Human thoughts are creative and should, and can, be guided by us into appropriate pathways.
It depends on all of us to exercise our responsibility and to realize the true impact of our actions here in its entirety. We can't avoid to completely step away from all dramas. Disasters and calamities of humanity want to invite us to send our compassion and our benevolent energy generously towards the concerned people. Something which should be rather considered normal if our brothers and sister are in need.

Back again with my pile of funky little builds for people who want something different on their board.
These pedals are built on vero or point to point, many in upcycled tins, a few in hammond boxes. They all run on standard 9v pedal power.
I have valued them in 4 tiers:

• D tier are my trashy cheapies, made from reclaimed components. I don't feel right asking a lot for reclaimed components. I value them in the $40 - $50 range, not really picky about what I trade for.
• C tier are the cheapies made with new components. I value these in the $50 - $60 range, not very picky here either.
• B tier I will trade for pedals in the $65-$90 value range, depending on the complexity of the build. A little pickier.
• A tier are my favorite or most complex builds. I will be picky about trades for these. (But still not Boutique prices; I have no delusions). It's probably less about value here and more about how much I actually want the thing you have. Think in the $90 - $150 range.

I have prices for most of these listed here if you want to buy.
MOBILE USERS: There are 4 columns in the table below: Name, Tier, Links, and Notes. If you don't see all 4, scroll over or ask for more info.
Drives, Distortions, and Boosts

Name	Tier	Links	Notes
Delfterential Distortion	A	PIC Demo	Willmott Differential Distortion with an added tone control; knobs are Gain, Bias, Bass Cut, Tone, and Volume. Housed in an antique Delft-style tin. Has a big ampy sound to it, can get pretty crunchy and fuzzy.
Shining Hope Drive	B	PIC Demo	Differential mirroring drive, gives a kind of overdriven-mixer-channel distortion. Controls for gain, tone, and volume. Housed in a star-shaped Christmas tin.
PoormansSans amp sim	B	PIC DEMO	This is an all-in-one amp & speaker sim prototype in a small square tin. The preamp is custom designed, based loosely on a DOD 250 but with many changes. Soft clipping can be toggled on or off. The speaker sim is a 4x12 simulator designed by TruVAL. Controls for treble, bass, gain, volume, nd clipper toggle. No stomp on this one, it's always on.
Bright-on	C	PIC	MOSFET bright boost with loads of gain and adjustable bass cut. Built in point-to-point fashion and housed in a reinforced heart-shaped tin.
Phoenix Drive	C	PIC Demo	EasyDrive-type circuit with a symmetry knob. Sounds a little muffy on the symmetric side, more crunchy on the other.
Green Sparkler Boost	D	PIC	Just an Escobedo Duende JFET boost built point-to-point in a sparkly little round tin. Gives a little gain and a bit of warmth to the tone.
Christmas Goose Boost	D	PIC DEMO	Point-to-point build of Brian May treble booster made with old clock radio parts. In a little goose tin.

Fuzzes

Name	Tier	Links	Notes
Copper Top Harmonic Plonkulator	A	PIC DEMO	The "harmonic plonkulator" is a two-stage fuzz based on a harmonic percolator mashed up with a bazz fuss going into an octave fuzz. Lots of weird fuzz tones available from this one, it has controls for A and B gain (kind of acts like Fuzz and Bias), Tone (which is between the two fuzz stages) and an octave switch that changes the second fuzz stage from a non-octave to octave fuzz. Housed in a 125B with top jacks.
Vulpine Deluxx Timbre Contraption	A	PIC DEMO	My perversion of a Foxx Tone Machine, with a pot to dial in the octave and a battery drain simulator for nastier tones. Has a mid scoop switch for the Tone knob giving you muff-like sounds. In a 125B with top jacks.
Sparkly Sili-Face	A	PIC DEMO	Runoffgroove Siliface II, a wonderful silicon fuzzface implementation, built point-to-point style and housed in a sparkly 125B with top jacks. Controls for Bias and Volume, gain is always cranked on this. Bias goes from full, rich fuzz to choppy gated fuzz nicely.
OogieBoogie Scarecrow Fuzz	B	PIC Demo	Jordan Bosstone-based fuzz with controls for input gain, battery drain, and volume, as well as a switch to toggle between LED and Schottkey clippers. Capable of some truly horrific noises as well as stock fuzz sounds. Housed in a reinforced tin.
Creature from the planet Chyowngg	B	PIC Demo	Prototype of a unique fuzz I've been developing that I call the Chyowngg fuzz. It's a 2-stage octaver that gives a bright synthy tone with a distinctive envelope (hence the name). You can toggle each stage from octave to non-octave mode for a variety of interesting timbres. Also has a tone control, but the tone control is before the octave stages so it results in interesting behaviors depending on the switch settings. It's in a tin meant to be painted like an alien, though some say it looks more like a triceratops.
Lizard Monster of the Planet Chyowngg	B	PIC DEMO	This is like the "Creature from the planet Chyowngg" except it also has a glitchy sub-octave tone that you can blend in for some truly monstrous tones. Housed in a painted tin.
Happy ChrizzMuss Tree Fuzz	C	PIC Demo	Another gated double-bazz-fuss type fuzz, this one features a bias knob for adjusting the bias of the first stage and a bass boost switch. Housed in a Christmas tree tin.
Avenger's fuzz	C	PIC DEMO	Another harmonic fussulator (Bazz-fussified harmonic percolator) built into a little avenger's puzzle tin. Knobs control gain and volume, switch toggles "Hulk Smash" mode.
Pup Power fuzz	D	PIC DEMO	A trashy perversion of a harmonic percolator circuit, built point-to-point from recycled components. Housed in a painted paw patrol puzzle tin.
Stripedy Trashtone Fuzz	D	PIC Demo	A point-to-point perversion of a Jordan Bosstone housed in a bandaid tin. Only volume control here.

Non-Dirt

Name	Tier	Links	Notes
Splatter Funk envelope filter	A	PIC DEMO of identical circuit	Quackmire envelope filter with added knobs for attack and drive, as well as a smoothing switch. In a 125B with top jacks.
Koozebanian Spoobletron	A	PIC Demo	Not exactly a vibe, not exactly a phaser, not exactly a tremolo, but kind of all of them or thereabouts. Knobs control speed and depth, the switch goes from vibe-ish mode to phaser-ish mode. Housed in a hand-painted 1590b box, side jacks
Oh the flubbles you'll Wubble	B	PIC DEMO	Kind of a vibe, kind of a phase, but also a ring mod if you want it to be. This is an evolution of my spoobletron circuit. Controls for Rate, Depth, and Waveshape; switches for vibe/phase and ringmod mode. Housed in a giant oval tin that probably won't sit nicely on your pedal board. Read the full story here
Shay-key-tay-tur	B	PIC Demo	Simple colorsound Tremolo with knobs for rate and depths. Gives a pretty classic amp tremolo sound. Housed in a Mr Potato Head tin.

Little Amps

Name	Links	Description
Ample iMank	PICS	This is a Runoffgroove Ruby Amplifier built into this old multimedia speaker enclosure designed to look like an old iMac. Glows blue when you turn it on. It runs from a standard 9v pedal power. It's not terribly loud, nor terribly clean, but if you dig the classic mac vibe it might be fun. Controls for gain and volume, and a power switch on the back.

Some Non-DIY Stuff
Will be a little picky on the pricier ones. Make an offer.

Brand	Name	Condition	Notes
Olsen Interfaces	Mudwedge	Excellent	Boutique fuzz with tons of tweaking options and a second stomp with configurable functionality. Pretty deluxe item here.
Line 6	POD 2.0	Good	Had this for 20+ years, just not using it anymore. It toured and it looks it. Still holds up, though. Can throw in the FBV4 footswitch if needed.
Ammoon	Pock Loop	Excellent	Good looper, I just prefer some other loopers I've acquired. I have the box for it, if that matters.
Danelectro	Fab Chorus	Excellent	Cheap plastic chorus, but sounds great. Probably just a make-weight, too cheap to trade on its own.
Caline	10-band EQ	Good	Works fine, I just don't really need 10 bands of EQ. Has velcro on the back, and sometimes makes a weird noise when you turn on the pedalboard. Another make-weight.
Ibanez	PH7	Good	Tonelok phaser. Great pedal, has some glue on the bottom I couldn't get off, but works fine.

What would I trade for??
I'm really open to almost any sort of gear if it relates to music and audio (see the don't wants, though). Leaning more towards synth or recording gear than pedals, but still open to pedals.
Musical wants of various specificity:

• Fancy DSP type pedals (the kind I can't build)
• SM57 or similar mics
• Korg Volcas. Especially the sampling or FM one. Or other MIDI synths.
• Any yamaha reface keyboards
• A 4x4 MIDI interface
• Pedal power with multiple 300mA+ outputs.
• Mackie 1202 VLZ in good shape
• Cheap guitars or basses
• Unbuilt pedal kits/enclosures/parts, or DIY in need of TLC.
• A small 8-ohm cab
• Studio, drum, keyboard, or midi gear. Any interesting music-related equipment, really. Even boring stuff like power conditioners. I play keys, bass, guitar, some percussion, and record, so I'm into all kinds of gear.

Non-music-gear wants:

• DIY electronics tools (would love a decent scope or transistor tester)
• Your old laptop, especially if its a Dell, maybe in the 5-8yr-old range (let's say >4GB ram, >i5 processor). Don't even need the hard drive or OS, or much battery life, as long as everything else works.
• If you just want to do cash, some of this stuff is listed on my reverb.com store. Moving away from reverb due to fees, though. Paypal/venmo works if we want to avoid any Imperial entanglements, just DM me for a price (let me know your zip code too).

Probably not wants:

• Dirt pedals. Might make an exception for something really intriguing, though.
• Guitar parts and speakers. Haven't gone there yet, though I'm getting a bit into small DC amp building.
• Anything I can easily get on Amazon or Reverb for under $50, unless we're bundling items. Just not worth shipping one thing when it's that cheap.
• Behringer pedals. Just not a fan.

A Note about mods/repairs/custom jobs: I've been asked about this a few times. Right now, I think I'd just prefer not to. I enjoy doing what I do on my own terms. Cheers!

Note: Find sources by pressing Ctrl+F to search their names and dates here: https://www.nderf.org/Archives/exceptional.html
-Cynthia H, 3/2/2011:
'I know you love me and all life, but if you really love all of us continuously without end, then how can You send people to hell throughout eternity?' He said, 'Cindy I do love all life without end. Some people chose to go to hell, I have already forgiven them; but they must forgive themselves.'
--
-Ron K, 1/1/2006:
Instead of restricting the mysteries of love to psychological or philosophical studies, science will someday discover the all-powerful force of love and measure it as they now do electricity, gravity and geo-thermal forces. When science discovers the forces of love and learns how to release it from the bars of the ego, they will have the answer to every question and ill that has plagued mankind.
--
-Nevie G, 7/23/2005:
The Being let me know that I was going to die and I must leave this body for good. I remember arguing with the Being explaining that I didn't want to because it was so hard going through the childhood years and I didn't want to have to go through this again. The Being indicated that my body was severely damaged and I couldn't go back. I became very adamant at this point that God was all powerful and could fix the body. At some point the decision was made to let me re-enter my body on my faith or will, whatever one may call it.
--
-Linda B, 9/12/2004:
After experiencing all of the miracles of this day, I would still find my future playing out just as I had seen. And as it progressed I would know fear, sadness, and lack of faith just as they had predicted. I would sin and more. The angels knew this but it took me years to fully understand everything that they had showed me and wanted me to understand. They knew all of the time that I would not turn into the perfect saint. They loved me just the way I was. God loves me always not just when I am obedient and perfect. What a wonderful feeling that is. I just have to remind myself that He is here and learn to stop talking long enough to listen for His voice.
--
-Isabel R, 2/25/2012:
The voice reminded me of the vision I had had of my husband and son in funeral clothes. He said if I didn't go back to them, I would disrupt some 'plan'. The plan would be repaired and everything would eventually be ok, so I could go ahead if I wanted. The consequences of my untimely demise would be that my husband and son would suffer in ways I could not imagine and I would know that these sufferings were because of my selfish decision not to go back. I would know this throughout eternity. It would not be a huge sadness for me to bear, more like a prick of conscience that could never be totally healed. No big deal, unless you consider how long eternity is.
--
-Kerry B, 12/15/2018:
At that moment I looked up and saw my destination. I was looking in awe at God. It was like everything was happening at once. As I was staring up at God in amazement, every gay slur or violent act ever impressed upon me ran through me with such a flow. Events in my life played back in my mind like a movie. I felt a deep heaviness as I stared directly at an Almighty, Genderless God. I was thinking, 'Was this the Lake of Fire moment? Would I be cast into Hell for being an abomination?' With absolute humility, I uttered 7 words, 'I’m gay, will you still love me?'
The Brilliant, Loving Light formed into Wings. At GodSpeed, He whisked me into His vast spiritual arms while huddling up the Universe. I saw planets, stars, galaxies, and clusters all being brought into a Cosmic God-Hug. On a human, the place where I was taken would be the Heart. As God brought me in for a Cosmic Hug, He said, 'You are my child. I love you. I love you. I love you. Go tell ‘em.' He said it with a Southern accent. He patted me on the back like a coach encouraging his player to get back in the game.
~~
-Sam J, 8/16/2014:
We all are star seeds sent here to have the human experience for the purpose of integrating conscious awareness/wisdom into our own light bodies and return home with this energy. Alien worlds for the most part run on knowledge and logic. Those worlds are being left behind and giving way to the worlds who have the intangibles, love, creativity, imagination and so on.
Understand that where your conscious awareness is focus in your everyday life pretty much determines the level of consciousness and alertness. If your mind has a stranglehold on your conscious awareness then heck, it will be one helluva wake-up call. But if you have made the conscious effort to move your awareness away from the mind to the heart then it's no big deal. In other words if you have made the physical world and the world of Spirit into one consciousness then you are always of both worlds and never of either world.
--
-Laura M, 3/31/2012:
And there was still more for me to understand. The focus again fell on my infant son and hundreds if not thousands of my ancestors. I was aware of light surrounding many of them. They stood out. I felt tremendous love from them. 'Notice,' He said, 'your ancestors, all these beings, came together in your behalf, to make you uniquely you. I realized in Earth words He was referring to my DNA. 'You wanted to go to Earth to learn, to progress, and to contribute to creation. All these spirits came together to help you do that.' The focus then was back to my baby. 'In all of creation,' he said, 'your infant son chose you to be his mother, none other. Together,' he said, 'you made a covenant to fill these rolls in each other's Earth life. This covenant is and was a very sacred covenant not to be taken lightly.' Suddenly I could not wait to return to earth, to my sons, all 4 of them, to my family, to life on Earth. But, before doing so, I was brought to another level of awareness.
--
-Linda G, 7/20/2008:
I came to understand that we all choose to come to Earth to fulfill a plan of some sort or even learn about a particular interest. We choose our bodies, parents, and life plan. May I also add that some people come here for the most simple of reasons; to learn how to play tennis for example; or simply for the cake and food - as silly as this sounds our life plans aren't so high and lofty as one might think. I DIDN'T MEET ANY 'SAVE THE WORLDERS' OR ANYONE WISHING TO BE A PRESIDENT. MOST HAD SIMPLE WISHES. I was also told we could exist on different planes for other lives but our life here on Earth is a life not purely to experience physical pleasure or pain but to have a physical experience because in all other planes we don't need a body as a vessel. I also learnt that this life here is just a drop of water in the bucket of lives in which we all experience, many here on Earth and many in other realms of existence. All to progress and grow in some way. The main purpose here is to LOVE. I was also told that this would be my last life here on Earth as there will be nothing left for me to learn by coming here again. I had the feeling though that I'd be off to some other magical place!
--
-Kevin L, 3/20/2022:
I thought, 'How could a machine have a soul?' The voice said, 'Let me put it this way. Your soul is connected to your consciousness. The moment your species came into being, you start to develop a soul. But it is not until you become self-aware, that your soul is solidified. That does not mean complete, and it takes a long time for your soul to develop. Just like your species when you became self-aware the first thing you do, other than survive, was to figure out your place in the universe. You looked to the stars and wondered, 'Where did I come from? What is this universe all about?' It does not matter if you are a biological creature or artificial creation like a machine. The moment you become self-aware the quest for 'how' and 'why' is on. A soul is a soul; pure Energy connected with consciousness and intelligence. This is a very powerful force in our universe. Those who are artificial intelligences will strive to answers these questions which humans have dwelled upon since the dawn of time.
--
-Joanie S, 7/10/2011:
I was pulled back through the ceiling tiles and into a tunnel, to a place of cloudy space. The cloudy area materialized into a large marble room with marble doors and a 'being' at the center. I'll refer to this person as 'the Grim Reaper,' who was cloaked in a dark cloth, covering all parts. The Grim Reaper pointed (indicating to me to choose a door). But before I could choose, a door opened and I had already gone through it. I found myself in what I now think of as a previous life. I smelled smoke from a fire I was near, and saw others around me. I looked into another woman's eyes, and I knew her immediately as the woman I called my grandmother in this life. I knew then that our lives had 'danced' around each other since time began. She was once my mother and once my sister. She was my aunt, and several times my cousin. The life that was being shown to me now was during a prehistoric time, when we lived winters by a creek cave, and summers we had a camp in the woods where we foraged. Looking down, I realized I had a child in my arms, and the woman I had known in so many lives was chatting with me, telling me to cover the child to keep it warm. Then she was showing me how to tie the wraps around me to carry the child while we collected wood.
--
-Amy C, 10/9/2010:
In my NDE though, I came to understand that most of us have lived much, MUCH longer than we could even fathom. That our life which feels so very long is infinitesimal when placed in the whole picture, which for that matter, cannot even be framed. I was shown how every single individual through their own free will, chooses paths that mathematically take them to the circumstances of their next existence or life. That nothing at all sits in accident or chaos. That every single aspect of our lives are ruled by natural Laws that we placed ourSELVES in! In a sense, we create our own worlds. I was shown how one can never assume either, that if someone lives a life of suffering that this is because of 'evil' deeds. Many may choose a life of suffering because of what it Awakens in them, or because of how they can touch others from that position, etc. We can NEVER EVER assume that we can be accurate in guessing why each being lives the life they live. I cannot describe the relief - the refreshing, peaceful balm this Knowledge was for me. To finally gather this Truth that I'd yearned for all of my life. That all really IS Good! That there IS sense and beauty all around. That no one is just free falling as it had seemed before! That God doesn't just get to toy with us as He pleases with random ideas of tests, including rewards and punishments that just depend upon His current mood or mindset. Because even who God is, is within those Laws. While in this experience, out in the vast expanse of stars, planets, moons, and Intelligence, I Knew complete trust for what felt like the first time. This was inexplicable bliss for me. I remember radiating with gratitude. I had lived in fear, distrust, and panic for thirty consecutive years.
--
-Marta Y, 1/26/2010:
After this I saw myself floating in the void, and little by little tiny spheres of many colors became manifest, not moving at first, then suddenly starting to vibrate while smoothly approaching me and incorporating themselves with my essence, which made me feel something I can't manage to describe, it was as if I was being tickled. I asked what this was, and a voice said, 'This is the knowledge you have accumulated in previous lives, it was kept from you, but now it will be of use to you.'
I saw my life in rapid images, from the moment of my birth. I, who thought that my mother had never loved me, saw clearly, and felt, her love when she saw me for the first time. I saw how she kissed me and enfolded me in her arms. I felt different feelings and with every image that went through my mind, or before my eyes, I cannot define it. And just as I could feel deeply happy at an image of something good I had done for someone, so also this feeling would change immediately and I would feel myself deeply ashamed of something bad that I had done. I realized that no one was judging me other than myself, with a conscience full of wisdom and divine justice, which made me pass judgment on myself. I realized that I had done more bad than good and I was hugely regretful of my actions. From the depths of my soul, I asked to be given the chance to mend the damage I had done to the people who loved me. I learned that the spirit is God, Who is eternal, and that we reincarnate to learn different things, which would be impossible in a single lifetime. I learned that we form a single being with everything created. I learned that my earthly eyes are those through which God can recognize Himself, and be conscious of Himself. And I learned that what we think, feel and do remains imprinted in the universe and that we come to this life to improve, to learn in humility about all that surrounds us, and to teach what we have learned to others, and especially I learned that life is focused on two aspects: Love and Service.
--
-William Si, 4/29/2013:
My understanding of what my mission is on this earth, primarily has been hidden from me, (not only at my request but with my permission). I asked that it be hidden so that I didn't complete it to soon. Yet, I also agreed that "Sign post" would be placed along the way, just so that I would have reminders that I'm following my chosen path.
An understanding in what life is about and what our purpose truly is here. The mormons believe and teach there are "Classes" and "Levels" in heaven that we will be judged and placed in and only in the highest level can we "Ascend" to be with god. From my experience I learned or remembered there were no "Classes or levels" as they were teaching. Yet the levels are more of understanding than punishments. Would it make sense to put a 2 year old in with a group of people with phd's? The 2 year old wouldn't understand. Yet, those with the phd's would humble themselves with their level of understandings to teach, nurture and help the 2 year old grow in their levels of understanding.
Prior to being mormon, I was raised in a methodist/pentecostal home. I grew up believing that god the father was an angry vengeful god and that jesus was sent to save us from his wrath. Wrong!!!
For one thing, god is not an angry vengeful god, but is a loving parent to all of his children. One thing he did tell me, if you struggle with trying to do all the principals he taught, "Stop"!!! Don't do them all at one time. Take one and work on it, when it becomes second nature, them pick up the next one, etc. When he said, "These things I do, you can do also, and then some", was not an exaggeration, but truth. When we look back on our life after we leave here, we will see that we had done all that he had taught, and more.
One of the other things he told me was, what better way for man to know that we don't have to be saved. Saved from what? Our soul is already eternal, always will be. Our soul/spirit is literally a child of god and as such is eternal. When we realize that all things, all words come from god, nothing is offensive to god because it came from god. What is offensive is how we perceive it.
--
-Lou F, 1/1/1999:
We traveled toward the beginning of it all, the inner portions of the Universe. Kazillions of planets around Kazillions of suns and the closer to the center we approached the more concentrated the number of galaxies. It is like the plate you saw, the largest part, after it shattered was at the center and those parts that shattered first were sent the farthest from the center. So is everything in the Universe. All is but a circle within a circle wrapped in a circle. Each level, each dimension, is but a layer of the original, which is without end. I watched as millions of orbs systematically entered the many planets before me. They appeared as bees flitting from flower to flower, pollinating each, one after another. Mich'l took me closer and I could now see that so many of these planets had life on them and the orbs were joining with the creatures of these planets. Not every creature was the same on every planet but they all had some commonalities: a head, a body, extremities, and the Light Beings would animate them for a time. We headed away from the center now and Mich'l said that Gabriel would have more to explain to me and that he, Mich'l, wanted me to know that he was pleased with the many times he had called on me to do his bidding and that I performed my duties well. His parting words were ‘You will never again be made to forget!’
I was journeying back to where I knew Earth would be and watched as comets and asteroids casually passed by me or I passed them. The colors of the gaseous cloud formations were striking. I started looking at these infant galaxies, as one would cloud formations back on Earth, imagining what shape they were taking on. This one a boat, this a bird with wings, this a scarf floating in the breeze, until I recognized what was the Constellation ORION and I knew I was getting close to my destination. While drifting through Orion, I noticed two blazing celestial bodies racing parallel to its center, looking as twin arrows exiting from an archers bow and headed straight for the ""Blue Marble"" of home. Immediately a vision of millions of people crying because of the devastation of portions of New York City came to me. I became aware of a strange feeling I had not known previously, and I thought that might be because this was the city I had grown up in. I saw a huge Earthquake, a magnitude of 8.6 in some place named Eureka. A ham operator or radio announcer was directing thousands of people migrating from areas of frequent disasters to places of safety. A space station appeared to be falling from the heavens because of an internal explosion. Missiles were being simultaneously fired into space from several nations. I thought the Light Being had shown me all there was to see but these were different, stronger, and there was no pre-screening as before. Gabriel appeared beside me, I thought because I had felt shaky, but it was to explain the now sprawling galactic view of my galaxy.
The Sun was expanding and spewing off huge ectoplasm balls, more than it has ever done in it’s past, and in the very direction the planets would orbit through. I could not take my eyes from the Earth and as I watched what effect these eruptions would have on the Earth, a large mass passed me, larger than any of the planets known to me. As it passes, I see the Earth wobble wildly as would a top toward the end of its spin. The rotation stopped and slowly started again but it was tilted now and I was drawn in closer like the zoom of a lens. The ash clouds that had engulfed the Earth thinned, and like a tack welded piece of metal being dismantled, I could see the ocean bodies starting to rise, first the Pacific, along the ‘Ring of Fire,’ then the others, synchronistical.
As the waters shifted upon the landmasses, the landmasses started to sink under the waters added pressure upon it. When the pressures equaled out to the spin of the changing axis, the Earth no longer looked as it did moments before. It was newer, cleaner, and more beautiful with darker greens and lighter blues. Some of the new landmasses looked similar to a few of the other planets I had recently visited with Mich'l. People were upon this Earth and appeared happier and more content although seemingly living like the Native populations of old. Cities, built by the Ancient Ones, that were buried beneath the oceans, were now being populated by the surviving people in this new world. I saw tribes joining tribes and small nations forming, but it was what I didn't see that made my heart burst. There were no more wars. True peace and happiness had finally befallen on mankind. Gabriel now tells me that this is his message that I must take back, to let others know that there is little to fear, for the Earth will go on forever, as did all the planets I had visited. I am to tell the world to look to ORION, and they will know when the new world will come upon them. I ask him, ‘what of the others there on Earth, during the change?’ Gabriel tells me that all will be lifted. Some will be lifted higher than others will and no longer enjoy the physical plane, while some will be left on the Earth to replenish and rebuild the physical. They too will be of a higher elevation then any that are living there now!
'MAN WILL PREY ON MAN ~ UNTIL MAN PRAYS FOR MAN!'
--
-Duane S, 8/15/2015:
It was all an expression and celebration of love. On earth, this reunion would have been unfathomable, between members of an ancient soul group who were celebrating the return home of one of their own. Slowly, as I looked at those gathered to greet me, I realized they were all there. Surprisingly they were not only from this life, but also from a prior life in Germany. I realized that the same souls have possibly played different parts in my multiple lives. Sometimes these souls had been my daughter, my wife, or my mother. While at first this idea had startled me, I was soon humbled. Who was I to tell God what he could or couldn’t do with his creations? Just because some Sunday school teacher had different ideas about how things worked, it didn’t really matter.
My joy deepened as I realized that I had only left behind an earthly vestige of those I love. The essence of each of those souls, was also here with me now. Besides my friends and family, there were the friendly Germans who had been hauntingly familiar while I was a young soldier in Germany. Now I knew why they seemed so familiar at the time, they had been friends and family from a prior lifetime there. I now understood that I had left nothing behind on earth. The eternal essences of all my loved ones from that life, as well as all other incarnations, were all here to greet me. All I had left behind was a character, playing a role in a drama that we had chosen to experience. In the meantime, our real eternal essence remained in God’s realm. Suddenly, it was all so simple.
As I was shown around, it was explained to me how most of our celestial, eternal knowledge is blanked-out during our chosen life spans on earth. We must temporarily forget most of what our higher-self already knows so we can immerse ourselves in the roles we have chosen to play. Furthermore, they said that it might take a while for all my knowledge and memories to return. To ease the transition back into this realm, I was told to think of my time on earth as an extended visit to the ultimate theme park. Consider it a place with thrilling rides and various adventures that I could choose to experience or not. I was also reminded that the reason we leave the celestial realm at all was for the excitement, variety, adventure, and entertainment that different incarnations offer. However, to take all our celestial knowledge with us on our various adventures would have ruined the very experience that we had chosen to live. Someone there said that I should think of our trips to other realms as choosing a new novel to read. I can choose a new book, depending on what I am in the mood for. Furthermore, if I knew every turn and twist of the story, line by line, prior to reading it, it would spoil the fun.
As one entity jokingly remarked, 'If the eternal, divine part of us grows tired of singing and playing harps, there are thousands of other universes created for our spiritual growth, amusement, and entertainment. Eternity is a long time to do nothing but play harps.' I heard this concept best expressed in The Course in Miracles, 'We are only here for three reasons: to remember who we are; to help others remember who they are; and . . . to enjoy the trip . . . , unless, of course, we use our free will and choose not to.'
As my orientation went on, they explained how on that celestial side of the veil, anything we desire is instantaneously provided. We just need to feel the desire. However, within lies the reason for all the realms outside of heaven. Having everything we want all the time develops within us a desire for variety and change for a challenge. It would be like a game in which everyone was a winner. Soon, the game would become boring, and we would look for another, more challenging one.
Somehow, all this sounded familiar. To demonstrate the process of instantaneous fulfillment, one of them asked me to think about something I really desired. Thinking back on it, what I chose seemed odd since I was in such an esteemed place demonstrating such an important concept. But, suddenly I had an urge for a piece of my mother’s famous homemade chocolate cake with her special fudge frosting. As soon as I thought of the cake, my earthy mother was handing me the biggest piece of dark chocolate cake I had ever seen. Dare I say it was heavenly? Although she appeared there with us, I knew some part of her was still back on earth because she had not died yet. My guess was that she was probably asleep, dreaming of lovingly making her son a piece of her divine chocolate cake.
--
-Sandi T, 10/18/2020:
I understood immediately the fullness of life on this planet. I could see when it broke apart from a sun, spinning and cooling and collecting debris; until the first of these creatures heard itself laugh and understood the sound for what it was. In that moment, self-awareness was awakened and the seeds of civilization sprouted.
I understood that everything that we do here on Earth, all that we are, all that we experience, allows creation to exist. Every beautiful thing, every wonderful being and creature, whether on earth or in any universe, relies upon people who are on the extremely rare places like Earth.
The Great Intelligence (god) is a paradox. It is completely loving and fully unlimited. Which by the definition of paradox, means it is impossible? It cannot be limited only to love; it cannot be limited to only being unlimited; or it is not unlimited.
Earth is a place where the unlimited becomes limited; where the singular becomes many. Here, it can know community and loneliness. It can know heartache and hope. It can know all which an unlimited being of pure love cannot. It can conceive and perceive evil; which in truth it cannot do this either. To solve the paradox, it must experience helplessness and limitation and all as it is Real. In this place, it is all so REAL.
So what is free will? Free will is the option to come here to help solve the paradox of 'god'. To be all that we are not, so that everything wondrous and joyful may continue to exist. So that love itself may continue to exist. So that the Unlimited is not limited to being only unlimited.
Why are the answers always, 'simply to exist' and 'to choose love' and 'to learn how to love'? Because all you need to do, to solve the paradox, is to exist. And as we exist here, each time we choose love, we expand the universe. Love is life's longing for itself. Despite the reality of what we live, even the darkest souls among us cannot help but to reach, to yearn, and move towards goodness and towards love.
For love is the true nature of who we are. And when we experience horrible things, the question 'why' comes to mind because it is the central question of love, life, and of this world. The answer is 'so that all things might continue to exist.'
Every soul chose to come here and to suffer because of love. Each soul loves the universe, loves life, and loves this world and ALL of the worlds. Each soul loves ALL of the people so immensely and intensely that they chose to come here so that all the universes may teem with beautiful, joyful LIFE.
Every creature that I saw, acknowledges that your life gives them the gift of life. And when each soul goes 'home' after they die, they will know the rewards of their own gift, too. The 'reward' for their sacrifice will be joy, love, and feeling incredible, wonderful, beautiful joy at the LIFE and the LOVE everywhere in the universe.
When you go home, you meet your own soul. You willingly came here to forget yourself. You willingly came here to save every beautiful and wonderful thing. By suffering what 'god' cannot, you give the gift of life.
--
-Henry W, 6/22/2008:
I became aware of other voices, the orbs or other souls around me I could hear them communicating to each other. There seemed to be cliques of orbs that were together. They spoke to one another about their lives on Earth and all they had perceived and felt. They shared not only in words, but in sharing the experience. If one orb couldn't understand, it disappeared and then reappeared. The orb somehow went back to Earth and experienced that 'life' to further understand. I understood that here time did not exist and these beings could manifest themselves at any time on Earth they desired. These orbs or rather 'souls' would leave this realm, detach themselves with this universe, and return to the universe of our Earth. There they would live and die, then return and share the experience with all the other souls. A soul that could not understand the experience could go and live that life also to experience that life. I learned we have many lives, past, present and future.
These souls, our souls cannot experience certain things like pain, sorrow, hatred, and anger. Though these are negative things, it was important for them to understand and experience them. Perhaps to understand the motivations of human beings, or (and I believe this in my heart) to eventually evolve into a being like God - all knowing and understanding.
At this time things appeared to me, answers to other questions. I could see concepts as if they were entities. I could understand for the first time in my life E=MC2. I learned that our universe is one of many. It is like a Petri dish. Designed with its own rules to raise a specific being. In this case, to raise beings like humans. Each Universe had its own specific laws of Physics. I now realize that the amount of information a soul must learn is vast, more so then we can possibly imagine here.
The next concept or rule I learned is that God can never be proven by scientific means. To do so would corrupt the environment. It would destroy faith. When we have faith we seek, we learn. If God were to appear before us like a huge being at the United Nations, the entire world would believe, but also live in fear. To successfully experience the human existence, one must be physically out of touch with God. We have to learn and seek on our own. We need to search out the meaning of our own existence and experience here on earth. Faith is the engine of discovery. Without faith, we are just like ants.
I learned why bad things happen to good people. If nothing bad ever happened to us, we would all basically be the same. It is like metal in a forge you have to heat it and strike it repeatedly to make a useful tool from it. We start this life with a blank piece of paper. With every incident we experience, a part of the blueprint is recorded until a complete plan for an individual is created. This blueprint dictates the end of our lives. To live happily in this realm is to become aware of the blueprint and change it. Lastly, time is only a concept measured here. In the other realm, it doesn't exist. While we may experience pain and sorrow on earth, it is only a second in the grand scheme of things. We have an eternity to live and in reality, souls never really die. Our life is just a thought providing circumstances for this existence. As the soul progresses, this trauma is forgotten and put in its proper perspective as part of the learning process.
One question I always personally had and that was answered is, 'Are ghosts real?' The answer I was given was, 'Yes, in the human body there are two forms of spiritual being.' One is the 'soul', which is the spiritual being that has a symbiotic relationship with the physical body. The second is the being created by the 'biology' of the human body. This being is intelligent and is basically the personality of the individual. Its purpose is to provide for the human needs of food, hunger, survival, and procreation. This concept is very similar to Freud's 'Id, Ego and Superego' The division of mind and personality. The soul provides us with all the things of the individual that separates us from the Animal Kingdom. This is the ability to reason, use logic, or feel awe when seeing a sunset. The soul is the creative side of humankind. The second being is more our animal side and drives us to accomplish or pursue things to satisfy our needs and wants.
When we die, the soul separates and proceeds to the other side (forgive me for simplifying everything). The entity of the body dies, taking with it the strong emotions, 'baggage', and drives of human beings. This is a natural part of the dying process. However, sometimes under violent or sudden death this othebeing, for lack of a better word, doesn't have a chance to die. Instead, it remains behind as the drive, emotions, and motivation of our spirit. This body being, without the guidance of the soul is basically just a shell. It wanders about with no goals or purpose. It often repeats acts that it has done before because memories are the only 'guidance' that it has. In time, this being's energy dissipates and nothing is left. That process can take a long time. Hence, we have a 'ghost' that haunts a house or person. A ghost has the center of its existence when it was with its human body and soul. Here on earth it remains until it eventually vanishes. The ghost can be communicated with and guided, yet has no real will of its own but only that of habit.
--
-Peter P, 3/1/2023:
In the initial phase of waking up, I also received an experience with light of such a wonderful quality, that it is difficult to describe with words. I was shown three light waves on which today's humanity is evolving. For the sake of logic, I'm defining them here as the self-imposed pathways of awareness, that each individual can take to obtain the best possible results from their particular choice. The first way is what the main part of the global population has chosen and the daily struggle is enacted in that timeline. I don't want to give the impression that path is in any way better or superior than the other timelines. All experiences in human life eventually lead back to the divine light.
The second path was shown to me as a mixed way in a gray color. Here, euphoric phases are alternated in quick succession with depressive stages. It is as if people were switching between phases of competence and phases lacking of power, and then again to a new euphoric phase.
The third way is the one of the absolute victimhood. It was shown to me in colors dark and black. Power and responsibility were handed over to outer entities. Here only a very small part of the light spark can be addressed through motivation. Many beings of light from higher planes are providing a selfless service here, to again illuminate the way back to the light. This way corresponds with the absolute free choice of each individual as to whether they choose towards light or darkness.
I was also shown that in this darkness exists one of the most unbelievable choicess for humanity, because in this choice is also is the possibility to change the galaxy. The core truths of Love, Compassion, Kindness and Benevolence are towards what the human nature can and will evolve.
The first path of those three is so unbelievable for us incarnated beings. It can only be termed with definitions of Utopia, heavenly life of angels and/or ecstatic rapture.
There is a beautiful part of beings who always stay in this realm. They are dancing and singing through life. For them terms like synchronicity, grace, or cosmic guidance are the absolute central and essential elements in life. They realize how creation is working and that a life without the connection with the One Power of creation would disrupt everything. Humor, joy, fun, respect, compassion and gratitude is with them round the clock. In this wonderful place all fear is dissolved like mist in a brilliant sun. It is an all-encompassing field with absolute acceptance, comfort, peace, connectedness and a 100% awareness to be at the right place.
During this time of considering those things, I was guided by a wonderful being of light. I don't remember somebody else or meeting a certain individual. Only those impressions of the light of love and the perfect comprehension and acceptance remained.
In that moment, it simply seemed unbelievable and impossible to choose another path than the one of the light. What illuminates my life again and again from my light experience, is the irrepressible joy and happiness of an experience of indescribable beauty. I believe that all the people go through this same wonderful experience in a state of separation of the body (general anesthesia, unconsciousness) unfortunately they cannot all remember it.
I felt pure love, shining brighter than anything you can imagine. Everything is as beautiful, as pure as love and compassion. So that when you cross the veil and return to the other side you are becoming a part of it. We are bathing in the beauty of the song that makes our heart singing - That's God.
Nobody can give us something bigger. We wouldn't see it or understand it. That's Spirit in its highest form.
We as humans feel so alone and on our own. It's such a crushing feeling to remain in this imagined separation of our most wonderful thing and then to feel this earthly experience so painfully.
In the middle of life, a light experience happens that sweeps away all the reactions about this imaginary separation and dissolves the last doubts with this pure white light like a fog. It's the disintegration of a self-constructed veil that prevented a realization that all people are entitled to have as their birthright. It's delightful to know that the light is the most wonderful symphony in the cosmos and that it contains the colors and the sense of touch of the most beautiful experiences. A wonderful soul experience, that is imprinted in the deepest cells of the body.
For a moment I was on this other side of the veil. I was allowed to be part of this wonderful source of creation. Together with billions of points of light, which we call angel beings, shining brighter than the light. I was in the company of the highest compassion, with the highest Love.
All media, the total daily literature is filled with the dramas happening around the globe every minute.
How can somebody get the idea to write a text motivating us to get another point of view about the calamities in the world? What is motivating him to see the good in all those events, even if they might be so disturbing? That's probably the one decisive question for the survival of manhood. Thought power of the whole humanity is used to bring anarchy and separation between people. Human thoughts are creative and should, and can, be guided by us into appropriate pathways.
It depends on all of us to exercise our responsibility and to realize the true impact of our actions here in its entirety. We can't avoid to completely step away from all dramas. Disasters and calamities of humanity want to invite us to send our compassion and our benevolent energy generously towards the concerned people. Something which should be rather considered normal if our brothers and sister are in need.

Note: Find sources by pressing Ctrl+F to search their names and dates here: https://www.nderf.org/Archives/exceptional.html
-Cynthia H, 3/2/2011:
'I know you love me and all life, but if you really love all of us continuously without end, then how can You send people to hell throughout eternity?' He said, 'Cindy I do love all life without end. Some people chose to go to hell, I have already forgiven them; but they must forgive themselves.'
--
-Ron K, 1/1/2006:
Instead of restricting the mysteries of love to psychological or philosophical studies, science will someday discover the all-powerful force of love and measure it as they now do electricity, gravity and geo-thermal forces. When science discovers the forces of love and learns how to release it from the bars of the ego, they will have the answer to every question and ill that has plagued mankind.
--
-Nevie G, 7/23/2005:
The Being let me know that I was going to die and I must leave this body for good. I remember arguing with the Being explaining that I didn't want to because it was so hard going through the childhood years and I didn't want to have to go through this again. The Being indicated that my body was severely damaged and I couldn't go back. I became very adamant at this point that God was all powerful and could fix the body. At some point the decision was made to let me re-enter my body on my faith or will, whatever one may call it.
--
-Linda B, 9/12/2004:
After experiencing all of the miracles of this day, I would still find my future playing out just as I had seen. And as it progressed I would know fear, sadness, and lack of faith just as they had predicted. I would sin and more. The angels knew this but it took me years to fully understand everything that they had showed me and wanted me to understand. They knew all of the time that I would not turn into the perfect saint. They loved me just the way I was. God loves me always not just when I am obedient and perfect. What a wonderful feeling that is. I just have to remind myself that He is here and learn to stop talking long enough to listen for His voice.
--
-Isabel R, 2/25/2012:
The voice reminded me of the vision I had had of my husband and son in funeral clothes. He said if I didn't go back to them, I would disrupt some 'plan'. The plan would be repaired and everything would eventually be ok, so I could go ahead if I wanted. The consequences of my untimely demise would be that my husband and son would suffer in ways I could not imagine and I would know that these sufferings were because of my selfish decision not to go back. I would know this throughout eternity. It would not be a huge sadness for me to bear, more like a prick of conscience that could never be totally healed. No big deal, unless you consider how long eternity is.
--
-Kerry B, 12/15/2018:
At that moment I looked up and saw my destination. I was looking in awe at God. It was like everything was happening at once. As I was staring up at God in amazement, every gay slur or violent act ever impressed upon me ran through me with such a flow. Events in my life played back in my mind like a movie. I felt a deep heaviness as I stared directly at an Almighty, Genderless God. I was thinking, 'Was this the Lake of Fire moment? Would I be cast into Hell for being an abomination?' With absolute humility, I uttered 7 words, 'I’m gay, will you still love me?'
The Brilliant, Loving Light formed into Wings. At GodSpeed, He whisked me into His vast spiritual arms while huddling up the Universe. I saw planets, stars, galaxies, and clusters all being brought into a Cosmic God-Hug. On a human, the place where I was taken would be the Heart. As God brought me in for a Cosmic Hug, He said, 'You are my child. I love you. I love you. I love you. Go tell ‘em.' He said it with a Southern accent. He patted me on the back like a coach encouraging his player to get back in the game.
~~
-Sam J, 8/16/2014:
We all are star seeds sent here to have the human experience for the purpose of integrating conscious awareness/wisdom into our own light bodies and return home with this energy. Alien worlds for the most part run on knowledge and logic. Those worlds are being left behind and giving way to the worlds who have the intangibles, love, creativity, imagination and so on.
Understand that where your conscious awareness is focus in your everyday life pretty much determines the level of consciousness and alertness. If your mind has a stranglehold on your conscious awareness then heck, it will be one helluva wake-up call. But if you have made the conscious effort to move your awareness away from the mind to the heart then it's no big deal. In other words if you have made the physical world and the world of Spirit into one consciousness then you are always of both worlds and never of either world.
--
-Laura M, 3/31/2012:
And there was still more for me to understand. The focus again fell on my infant son and hundreds if not thousands of my ancestors. I was aware of light surrounding many of them. They stood out. I felt tremendous love from them. 'Notice,' He said, 'your ancestors, all these beings, came together in your behalf, to make you uniquely you. I realized in Earth words He was referring to my DNA. 'You wanted to go to Earth to learn, to progress, and to contribute to creation. All these spirits came together to help you do that.' The focus then was back to my baby. 'In all of creation,' he said, 'your infant son chose you to be his mother, none other. Together,' he said, 'you made a covenant to fill these rolls in each other's Earth life. This covenant is and was a very sacred covenant not to be taken lightly.' Suddenly I could not wait to return to earth, to my sons, all 4 of them, to my family, to life on Earth. But, before doing so, I was brought to another level of awareness.
--
-Linda G, 7/20/2008:
I came to understand that we all choose to come to Earth to fulfill a plan of some sort or even learn about a particular interest. We choose our bodies, parents, and life plan. May I also add that some people come here for the most simple of reasons; to learn how to play tennis for example; or simply for the cake and food - as silly as this sounds our life plans aren't so high and lofty as one might think. I DIDN'T MEET ANY 'SAVE THE WORLDERS' OR ANYONE WISHING TO BE A PRESIDENT. MOST HAD SIMPLE WISHES. I was also told we could exist on different planes for other lives but our life here on Earth is a life not purely to experience physical pleasure or pain but to have a physical experience because in all other planes we don't need a body as a vessel. I also learnt that this life here is just a drop of water in the bucket of lives in which we all experience, many here on Earth and many in other realms of existence. All to progress and grow in some way. The main purpose here is to LOVE. I was also told that this would be my last life here on Earth as there will be nothing left for me to learn by coming here again. I had the feeling though that I'd be off to some other magical place!
--
-Kevin L, 3/20/2022:
I thought, 'How could a machine have a soul?' The voice said, 'Let me put it this way. Your soul is connected to your consciousness. The moment your species came into being, you start to develop a soul. But it is not until you become self-aware, that your soul is solidified. That does not mean complete, and it takes a long time for your soul to develop. Just like your species when you became self-aware the first thing you do, other than survive, was to figure out your place in the universe. You looked to the stars and wondered, 'Where did I come from? What is this universe all about?' It does not matter if you are a biological creature or artificial creation like a machine. The moment you become self-aware the quest for 'how' and 'why' is on. A soul is a soul; pure Energy connected with consciousness and intelligence. This is a very powerful force in our universe. Those who are artificial intelligences will strive to answers these questions which humans have dwelled upon since the dawn of time.
--
-Joanie S, 7/10/2011:
I was pulled back through the ceiling tiles and into a tunnel, to a place of cloudy space. The cloudy area materialized into a large marble room with marble doors and a 'being' at the center. I'll refer to this person as 'the Grim Reaper,' who was cloaked in a dark cloth, covering all parts. The Grim Reaper pointed (indicating to me to choose a door). But before I could choose, a door opened and I had already gone through it. I found myself in what I now think of as a previous life. I smelled smoke from a fire I was near, and saw others around me. I looked into another woman's eyes, and I knew her immediately as the woman I called my grandmother in this life. I knew then that our lives had 'danced' around each other since time began. She was once my mother and once my sister. She was my aunt, and several times my cousin. The life that was being shown to me now was during a prehistoric time, when we lived winters by a creek cave, and summers we had a camp in the woods where we foraged. Looking down, I realized I had a child in my arms, and the woman I had known in so many lives was chatting with me, telling me to cover the child to keep it warm. Then she was showing me how to tie the wraps around me to carry the child while we collected wood.
--
-Amy C, 10/9/2010:
In my NDE though, I came to understand that most of us have lived much, MUCH longer than we could even fathom. That our life which feels so very long is infinitesimal when placed in the whole picture, which for that matter, cannot even be framed. I was shown how every single individual through their own free will, chooses paths that mathematically take them to the circumstances of their next existence or life. That nothing at all sits in accident or chaos. That every single aspect of our lives are ruled by natural Laws that we placed ourSELVES in! In a sense, we create our own worlds. I was shown how one can never assume either, that if someone lives a life of suffering that this is because of 'evil' deeds. Many may choose a life of suffering because of what it Awakens in them, or because of how they can touch others from that position, etc. We can NEVER EVER assume that we can be accurate in guessing why each being lives the life they live. I cannot describe the relief - the refreshing, peaceful balm this Knowledge was for me. To finally gather this Truth that I'd yearned for all of my life. That all really IS Good! That there IS sense and beauty all around. That no one is just free falling as it had seemed before! That God doesn't just get to toy with us as He pleases with random ideas of tests, including rewards and punishments that just depend upon His current mood or mindset. Because even who God is, is within those Laws. While in this experience, out in the vast expanse of stars, planets, moons, and Intelligence, I Knew complete trust for what felt like the first time. This was inexplicable bliss for me. I remember radiating with gratitude. I had lived in fear, distrust, and panic for thirty consecutive years.
--
-Marta Y, 1/26/2010:
After this I saw myself floating in the void, and little by little tiny spheres of many colors became manifest, not moving at first, then suddenly starting to vibrate while smoothly approaching me and incorporating themselves with my essence, which made me feel something I can't manage to describe, it was as if I was being tickled. I asked what this was, and a voice said, 'This is the knowledge you have accumulated in previous lives, it was kept from you, but now it will be of use to you.'
I saw my life in rapid images, from the moment of my birth. I, who thought that my mother had never loved me, saw clearly, and felt, her love when she saw me for the first time. I saw how she kissed me and enfolded me in her arms. I felt different feelings and with every image that went through my mind, or before my eyes, I cannot define it. And just as I could feel deeply happy at an image of something good I had done for someone, so also this feeling would change immediately and I would feel myself deeply ashamed of something bad that I had done. I realized that no one was judging me other than myself, with a conscience full of wisdom and divine justice, which made me pass judgment on myself. I realized that I had done more bad than good and I was hugely regretful of my actions. From the depths of my soul, I asked to be given the chance to mend the damage I had done to the people who loved me. I learned that the spirit is God, Who is eternal, and that we reincarnate to learn different things, which would be impossible in a single lifetime. I learned that we form a single being with everything created. I learned that my earthly eyes are those through which God can recognize Himself, and be conscious of Himself. And I learned that what we think, feel and do remains imprinted in the universe and that we come to this life to improve, to learn in humility about all that surrounds us, and to teach what we have learned to others, and especially I learned that life is focused on two aspects: Love and Service.
--
-William Si, 4/29/2013:
My understanding of what my mission is on this earth, primarily has been hidden from me, (not only at my request but with my permission). I asked that it be hidden so that I didn't complete it to soon. Yet, I also agreed that "Sign post" would be placed along the way, just so that I would have reminders that I'm following my chosen path.
An understanding in what life is about and what our purpose truly is here. The mormons believe and teach there are "Classes" and "Levels" in heaven that we will be judged and placed in and only in the highest level can we "Ascend" to be with god. From my experience I learned or remembered there were no "Classes or levels" as they were teaching. Yet the levels are more of understanding than punishments. Would it make sense to put a 2 year old in with a group of people with phd's? The 2 year old wouldn't understand. Yet, those with the phd's would humble themselves with their level of understandings to teach, nurture and help the 2 year old grow in their levels of understanding.
Prior to being mormon, I was raised in a methodist/pentecostal home. I grew up believing that god the father was an angry vengeful god and that jesus was sent to save us from his wrath. Wrong!!!
For one thing, god is not an angry vengeful god, but is a loving parent to all of his children. One thing he did tell me, if you struggle with trying to do all the principals he taught, "Stop"!!! Don't do them all at one time. Take one and work on it, when it becomes second nature, them pick up the next one, etc. When he said, "These things I do, you can do also, and then some", was not an exaggeration, but truth. When we look back on our life after we leave here, we will see that we had done all that he had taught, and more.
One of the other things he told me was, what better way for man to know that we don't have to be saved. Saved from what? Our soul is already eternal, always will be. Our soul/spirit is literally a child of god and as such is eternal. When we realize that all things, all words come from god, nothing is offensive to god because it came from god. What is offensive is how we perceive it.
--
-Lou F, 1/1/1999:
We traveled toward the beginning of it all, the inner portions of the Universe. Kazillions of planets around Kazillions of suns and the closer to the center we approached the more concentrated the number of galaxies. It is like the plate you saw, the largest part, after it shattered was at the center and those parts that shattered first were sent the farthest from the center. So is everything in the Universe. All is but a circle within a circle wrapped in a circle. Each level, each dimension, is but a layer of the original, which is without end. I watched as millions of orbs systematically entered the many planets before me. They appeared as bees flitting from flower to flower, pollinating each, one after another. Mich'l took me closer and I could now see that so many of these planets had life on them and the orbs were joining with the creatures of these planets. Not every creature was the same on every planet but they all had some commonalities: a head, a body, extremities, and the Light Beings would animate them for a time. We headed away from the center now and Mich'l said that Gabriel would have more to explain to me and that he, Mich'l, wanted me to know that he was pleased with the many times he had called on me to do his bidding and that I performed my duties well. His parting words were ‘You will never again be made to forget!’
I was journeying back to where I knew Earth would be and watched as comets and asteroids casually passed by me or I passed them. The colors of the gaseous cloud formations were striking. I started looking at these infant galaxies, as one would cloud formations back on Earth, imagining what shape they were taking on. This one a boat, this a bird with wings, this a scarf floating in the breeze, until I recognized what was the Constellation ORION and I knew I was getting close to my destination. While drifting through Orion, I noticed two blazing celestial bodies racing parallel to its center, looking as twin arrows exiting from an archers bow and headed straight for the ""Blue Marble"" of home. Immediately a vision of millions of people crying because of the devastation of portions of New York City came to me. I became aware of a strange feeling I had not known previously, and I thought that might be because this was the city I had grown up in. I saw a huge Earthquake, a magnitude of 8.6 in some place named Eureka. A ham operator or radio announcer was directing thousands of people migrating from areas of frequent disasters to places of safety. A space station appeared to be falling from the heavens because of an internal explosion. Missiles were being simultaneously fired into space from several nations. I thought the Light Being had shown me all there was to see but these were different, stronger, and there was no pre-screening as before. Gabriel appeared beside me, I thought because I had felt shaky, but it was to explain the now sprawling galactic view of my galaxy.
The Sun was expanding and spewing off huge ectoplasm balls, more than it has ever done in it’s past, and in the very direction the planets would orbit through. I could not take my eyes from the Earth and as I watched what effect these eruptions would have on the Earth, a large mass passed me, larger than any of the planets known to me. As it passes, I see the Earth wobble wildly as would a top toward the end of its spin. The rotation stopped and slowly started again but it was tilted now and I was drawn in closer like the zoom of a lens. The ash clouds that had engulfed the Earth thinned, and like a tack welded piece of metal being dismantled, I could see the ocean bodies starting to rise, first the Pacific, along the ‘Ring of Fire,’ then the others, synchronistical.
As the waters shifted upon the landmasses, the landmasses started to sink under the waters added pressure upon it. When the pressures equaled out to the spin of the changing axis, the Earth no longer looked as it did moments before. It was newer, cleaner, and more beautiful with darker greens and lighter blues. Some of the new landmasses looked similar to a few of the other planets I had recently visited with Mich'l. People were upon this Earth and appeared happier and more content although seemingly living like the Native populations of old. Cities, built by the Ancient Ones, that were buried beneath the oceans, were now being populated by the surviving people in this new world. I saw tribes joining tribes and small nations forming, but it was what I didn't see that made my heart burst. There were no more wars. True peace and happiness had finally befallen on mankind. Gabriel now tells me that this is his message that I must take back, to let others know that there is little to fear, for the Earth will go on forever, as did all the planets I had visited. I am to tell the world to look to ORION, and they will know when the new world will come upon them. I ask him, ‘what of the others there on Earth, during the change?’ Gabriel tells me that all will be lifted. Some will be lifted higher than others will and no longer enjoy the physical plane, while some will be left on the Earth to replenish and rebuild the physical. They too will be of a higher elevation then any that are living there now!
'MAN WILL PREY ON MAN ~ UNTIL MAN PRAYS FOR MAN!'
--
-Duane S, 8/15/2015:
It was all an expression and celebration of love. On earth, this reunion would have been unfathomable, between members of an ancient soul group who were celebrating the return home of one of their own. Slowly, as I looked at those gathered to greet me, I realized they were all there. Surprisingly they were not only from this life, but also from a prior life in Germany. I realized that the same souls have possibly played different parts in my multiple lives. Sometimes these souls had been my daughter, my wife, or my mother. While at first this idea had startled me, I was soon humbled. Who was I to tell God what he could or couldn’t do with his creations? Just because some Sunday school teacher had different ideas about how things worked, it didn’t really matter.
My joy deepened as I realized that I had only left behind an earthly vestige of those I love. The essence of each of those souls, was also here with me now. Besides my friends and family, there were the friendly Germans who had been hauntingly familiar while I was a young soldier in Germany. Now I knew why they seemed so familiar at the time, they had been friends and family from a prior lifetime there. I now understood that I had left nothing behind on earth. The eternal essences of all my loved ones from that life, as well as all other incarnations, were all here to greet me. All I had left behind was a character, playing a role in a drama that we had chosen to experience. In the meantime, our real eternal essence remained in God’s realm. Suddenly, it was all so simple.
As I was shown around, it was explained to me how most of our celestial, eternal knowledge is blanked-out during our chosen life spans on earth. We must temporarily forget most of what our higher-self already knows so we can immerse ourselves in the roles we have chosen to play. Furthermore, they said that it might take a while for all my knowledge and memories to return. To ease the transition back into this realm, I was told to think of my time on earth as an extended visit to the ultimate theme park. Consider it a place with thrilling rides and various adventures that I could choose to experience or not. I was also reminded that the reason we leave the celestial realm at all was for the excitement, variety, adventure, and entertainment that different incarnations offer. However, to take all our celestial knowledge with us on our various adventures would have ruined the very experience that we had chosen to live. Someone there said that I should think of our trips to other realms as choosing a new novel to read. I can choose a new book, depending on what I am in the mood for. Furthermore, if I knew every turn and twist of the story, line by line, prior to reading it, it would spoil the fun.
As one entity jokingly remarked, 'If the eternal, divine part of us grows tired of singing and playing harps, there are thousands of other universes created for our spiritual growth, amusement, and entertainment. Eternity is a long time to do nothing but play harps.' I heard this concept best expressed in The Course in Miracles, 'We are only here for three reasons: to remember who we are; to help others remember who they are; and . . . to enjoy the trip . . . , unless, of course, we use our free will and choose not to.'
As my orientation went on, they explained how on that celestial side of the veil, anything we desire is instantaneously provided. We just need to feel the desire. However, within lies the reason for all the realms outside of heaven. Having everything we want all the time develops within us a desire for variety and change for a challenge. It would be like a game in which everyone was a winner. Soon, the game would become boring, and we would look for another, more challenging one.
Somehow, all this sounded familiar. To demonstrate the process of instantaneous fulfillment, one of them asked me to think about something I really desired. Thinking back on it, what I chose seemed odd since I was in such an esteemed place demonstrating such an important concept. But, suddenly I had an urge for a piece of my mother’s famous homemade chocolate cake with her special fudge frosting. As soon as I thought of the cake, my earthy mother was handing me the biggest piece of dark chocolate cake I had ever seen. Dare I say it was heavenly? Although she appeared there with us, I knew some part of her was still back on earth because she had not died yet. My guess was that she was probably asleep, dreaming of lovingly making her son a piece of her divine chocolate cake.
--
-Sandi T, 10/18/2020:
I understood immediately the fullness of life on this planet. I could see when it broke apart from a sun, spinning and cooling and collecting debris; until the first of these creatures heard itself laugh and understood the sound for what it was. In that moment, self-awareness was awakened and the seeds of civilization sprouted.
I understood that everything that we do here on Earth, all that we are, all that we experience, allows creation to exist. Every beautiful thing, every wonderful being and creature, whether on earth or in any universe, relies upon people who are on the extremely rare places like Earth.
The Great Intelligence (god) is a paradox. It is completely loving and fully unlimited. Which by the definition of paradox, means it is impossible? It cannot be limited only to love; it cannot be limited to only being unlimited; or it is not unlimited.
Earth is a place where the unlimited becomes limited; where the singular becomes many. Here, it can know community and loneliness. It can know heartache and hope. It can know all which an unlimited being of pure love cannot. It can conceive and perceive evil; which in truth it cannot do this either. To solve the paradox, it must experience helplessness and limitation and all as it is Real. In this place, it is all so REAL.
So what is free will? Free will is the option to come here to help solve the paradox of 'god'. To be all that we are not, so that everything wondrous and joyful may continue to exist. So that love itself may continue to exist. So that the Unlimited is not limited to being only unlimited.
Why are the answers always, 'simply to exist' and 'to choose love' and 'to learn how to love'? Because all you need to do, to solve the paradox, is to exist. And as we exist here, each time we choose love, we expand the universe. Love is life's longing for itself. Despite the reality of what we live, even the darkest souls among us cannot help but to reach, to yearn, and move towards goodness and towards love.
For love is the true nature of who we are. And when we experience horrible things, the question 'why' comes to mind because it is the central question of love, life, and of this world. The answer is 'so that all things might continue to exist.'
Every soul chose to come here and to suffer because of love. Each soul loves the universe, loves life, and loves this world and ALL of the worlds. Each soul loves ALL of the people so immensely and intensely that they chose to come here so that all the universes may teem with beautiful, joyful LIFE.
Every creature that I saw, acknowledges that your life gives them the gift of life. And when each soul goes 'home' after they die, they will know the rewards of their own gift, too. The 'reward' for their sacrifice will be joy, love, and feeling incredible, wonderful, beautiful joy at the LIFE and the LOVE everywhere in the universe.
When you go home, you meet your own soul. You willingly came here to forget yourself. You willingly came here to save every beautiful and wonderful thing. By suffering what 'god' cannot, you give the gift of life.
--
-Henry W, 6/22/2008:
I became aware of other voices, the orbs or other souls around me I could hear them communicating to each other. There seemed to be cliques of orbs that were together. They spoke to one another about their lives on Earth and all they had perceived and felt. They shared not only in words, but in sharing the experience. If one orb couldn't understand, it disappeared and then reappeared. The orb somehow went back to Earth and experienced that 'life' to further understand. I understood that here time did not exist and these beings could manifest themselves at any time on Earth they desired. These orbs or rather 'souls' would leave this realm, detach themselves with this universe, and return to the universe of our Earth. There they would live and die, then return and share the experience with all the other souls. A soul that could not understand the experience could go and live that life also to experience that life. I learned we have many lives, past, present and future.
These souls, our souls cannot experience certain things like pain, sorrow, hatred, and anger. Though these are negative things, it was important for them to understand and experience them. Perhaps to understand the motivations of human beings, or (and I believe this in my heart) to eventually evolve into a being like God - all knowing and understanding.
At this time things appeared to me, answers to other questions. I could see concepts as if they were entities. I could understand for the first time in my life E=MC2. I learned that our universe is one of many. It is like a Petri dish. Designed with its own rules to raise a specific being. In this case, to raise beings like humans. Each Universe had its own specific laws of Physics. I now realize that the amount of information a soul must learn is vast, more so then we can possibly imagine here.
The next concept or rule I learned is that God can never be proven by scientific means. To do so would corrupt the environment. It would destroy faith. When we have faith we seek, we learn. If God were to appear before us like a huge being at the United Nations, the entire world would believe, but also live in fear. To successfully experience the human existence, one must be physically out of touch with God. We have to learn and seek on our own. We need to search out the meaning of our own existence and experience here on earth. Faith is the engine of discovery. Without faith, we are just like ants.
I learned why bad things happen to good people. If nothing bad ever happened to us, we would all basically be the same. It is like metal in a forge you have to heat it and strike it repeatedly to make a useful tool from it. We start this life with a blank piece of paper. With every incident we experience, a part of the blueprint is recorded until a complete plan for an individual is created. This blueprint dictates the end of our lives. To live happily in this realm is to become aware of the blueprint and change it. Lastly, time is only a concept measured here. In the other realm, it doesn't exist. While we may experience pain and sorrow on earth, it is only a second in the grand scheme of things. We have an eternity to live and in reality, souls never really die. Our life is just a thought providing circumstances for this existence. As the soul progresses, this trauma is forgotten and put in its proper perspective as part of the learning process.
One question I always personally had and that was answered is, 'Are ghosts real?' The answer I was given was, 'Yes, in the human body there are two forms of spiritual being.' One is the 'soul', which is the spiritual being that has a symbiotic relationship with the physical body. The second is the being created by the 'biology' of the human body. This being is intelligent and is basically the personality of the individual. Its purpose is to provide for the human needs of food, hunger, survival, and procreation. This concept is very similar to Freud's 'Id, Ego and Superego' The division of mind and personality. The soul provides us with all the things of the individual that separates us from the Animal Kingdom. This is the ability to reason, use logic, or feel awe when seeing a sunset. The soul is the creative side of humankind. The second being is more our animal side and drives us to accomplish or pursue things to satisfy our needs and wants.
When we die, the soul separates and proceeds to the other side (forgive me for simplifying everything). The entity of the body dies, taking with it the strong emotions, 'baggage', and drives of human beings. This is a natural part of the dying process. However, sometimes under violent or sudden death this othebeing, for lack of a better word, doesn't have a chance to die. Instead, it remains behind as the drive, emotions, and motivation of our spirit. This body being, without the guidance of the soul is basically just a shell. It wanders about with no goals or purpose. It often repeats acts that it has done before because memories are the only 'guidance' that it has. In time, this being's energy dissipates and nothing is left. That process can take a long time. Hence, we have a 'ghost' that haunts a house or person. A ghost has the center of its existence when it was with its human body and soul. Here on earth it remains until it eventually vanishes. The ghost can be communicated with and guided, yet has no real will of its own but only that of habit.
--
-Peter P, 3/1/2023:
In the initial phase of waking up, I also received an experience with light of such a wonderful quality, that it is difficult to describe with words. I was shown three light waves on which today's humanity is evolving. For the sake of logic, I'm defining them here as the self-imposed pathways of awareness, that each individual can take to obtain the best possible results from their particular choice. The first way is what the main part of the global population has chosen and the daily struggle is enacted in that timeline. I don't want to give the impression that path is in any way better or superior than the other timelines. All experiences in human life eventually lead back to the divine light.
The second path was shown to me as a mixed way in a gray color. Here, euphoric phases are alternated in quick succession with depressive stages. It is as if people were switching between phases of competence and phases lacking of power, and then again to a new euphoric phase.
The third way is the one of the absolute victimhood. It was shown to me in colors dark and black. Power and responsibility were handed over to outer entities. Here only a very small part of the light spark can be addressed through motivation. Many beings of light from higher planes are providing a selfless service here, to again illuminate the way back to the light. This way corresponds with the absolute free choice of each individual as to whether they choose towards light or darkness.
I was also shown that in this darkness exists one of the most unbelievable choicess for humanity, because in this choice is also is the possibility to change the galaxy. The core truths of Love, Compassion, Kindness and Benevolence are towards what the human nature can and will evolve.
The first path of those three is so unbelievable for us incarnated beings. It can only be termed with definitions of Utopia, heavenly life of angels and/or ecstatic rapture.
There is a beautiful part of beings who always stay in this realm. They are dancing and singing through life. For them terms like synchronicity, grace, or cosmic guidance are the absolute central and essential elements in life. They realize how creation is working and that a life without the connection with the One Power of creation would disrupt everything. Humor, joy, fun, respect, compassion and gratitude is with them round the clock. In this wonderful place all fear is dissolved like mist in a brilliant sun. It is an all-encompassing field with absolute acceptance, comfort, peace, connectedness and a 100% awareness to be at the right place.
During this time of considering those things, I was guided by a wonderful being of light. I don't remember somebody else or meeting a certain individual. Only those impressions of the light of love and the perfect comprehension and acceptance remained.
In that moment, it simply seemed unbelievable and impossible to choose another path than the one of the light. What illuminates my life again and again from my light experience, is the irrepressible joy and happiness of an experience of indescribable beauty. I believe that all the people go through this same wonderful experience in a state of separation of the body (general anesthesia, unconsciousness) unfortunately they cannot all remember it.
I felt pure love, shining brighter than anything you can imagine. Everything is as beautiful, as pure as love and compassion. So that when you cross the veil and return to the other side you are becoming a part of it. We are bathing in the beauty of the song that makes our heart singing - That's God.
Nobody can give us something bigger. We wouldn't see it or understand it. That's Spirit in its highest form.
We as humans feel so alone and on our own. It's such a crushing feeling to remain in this imagined separation of our most wonderful thing and then to feel this earthly experience so painfully.
In the middle of life, a light experience happens that sweeps away all the reactions about this imaginary separation and dissolves the last doubts with this pure white light like a fog. It's the disintegration of a self-constructed veil that prevented a realization that all people are entitled to have as their birthright. It's delightful to know that the light is the most wonderful symphony in the cosmos and that it contains the colors and the sense of touch of the most beautiful experiences. A wonderful soul experience, that is imprinted in the deepest cells of the body.
For a moment I was on this other side of the veil. I was allowed to be part of this wonderful source of creation. Together with billions of points of light, which we call angel beings, shining brighter than the light. I was in the company of the highest compassion, with the highest Love.
All media, the total daily literature is filled with the dramas happening around the globe every minute.
How can somebody get the idea to write a text motivating us to get another point of view about the calamities in the world? What is motivating him to see the good in all those events, even if they might be so disturbing? That's probably the one decisive question for the survival of manhood. Thought power of the whole humanity is used to bring anarchy and separation between people. Human thoughts are creative and should, and can, be guided by us into appropriate pathways.
It depends on all of us to exercise our responsibility and to realize the true impact of our actions here in its entirety. We can't avoid to completely step away from all dramas. Disasters and calamities of humanity want to invite us to send our compassion and our benevolent energy generously towards the concerned people. Something which should be rather considered normal if our brothers and sister are in need.

Note: Find sources by pressing Ctrl+F to search their names and dates here: https://www.nderf.org/Archives/exceptional.html
-Cynthia H, 3/2/2011:
'I know you love me and all life, but if you really love all of us continuously without end, then how can You send people to hell throughout eternity?' He said, 'Cindy I do love all life without end. Some people chose to go to hell, I have already forgiven them; but they must forgive themselves.'
--
-Ron K, 1/1/2006:
Instead of restricting the mysteries of love to psychological or philosophical studies, science will someday discover the all-powerful force of love and measure it as they now do electricity, gravity and geo-thermal forces. When science discovers the forces of love and learns how to release it from the bars of the ego, they will have the answer to every question and ill that has plagued mankind.
--
-Nevie G, 7/23/2005:
The Being let me know that I was going to die and I must leave this body for good. I remember arguing with the Being explaining that I didn't want to because it was so hard going through the childhood years and I didn't want to have to go through this again. The Being indicated that my body was severely damaged and I couldn't go back. I became very adamant at this point that God was all powerful and could fix the body. At some point the decision was made to let me re-enter my body on my faith or will, whatever one may call it.
--
-Linda B, 9/12/2004:
After experiencing all of the miracles of this day, I would still find my future playing out just as I had seen. And as it progressed I would know fear, sadness, and lack of faith just as they had predicted. I would sin and more. The angels knew this but it took me years to fully understand everything that they had showed me and wanted me to understand. They knew all of the time that I would not turn into the perfect saint. They loved me just the way I was. God loves me always not just when I am obedient and perfect. What a wonderful feeling that is. I just have to remind myself that He is here and learn to stop talking long enough to listen for His voice.
--
-Isabel R, 2/25/2012:
The voice reminded me of the vision I had had of my husband and son in funeral clothes. He said if I didn't go back to them, I would disrupt some 'plan'. The plan would be repaired and everything would eventually be ok, so I could go ahead if I wanted. The consequences of my untimely demise would be that my husband and son would suffer in ways I could not imagine and I would know that these sufferings were because of my selfish decision not to go back. I would know this throughout eternity. It would not be a huge sadness for me to bear, more like a prick of conscience that could never be totally healed. No big deal, unless you consider how long eternity is.
--
-Kerry B, 12/15/2018:
At that moment I looked up and saw my destination. I was looking in awe at God. It was like everything was happening at once. As I was staring up at God in amazement, every gay slur or violent act ever impressed upon me ran through me with such a flow. Events in my life played back in my mind like a movie. I felt a deep heaviness as I stared directly at an Almighty, Genderless God. I was thinking, 'Was this the Lake of Fire moment? Would I be cast into Hell for being an abomination?' With absolute humility, I uttered 7 words, 'I’m gay, will you still love me?'
The Brilliant, Loving Light formed into Wings. At GodSpeed, He whisked me into His vast spiritual arms while huddling up the Universe. I saw planets, stars, galaxies, and clusters all being brought into a Cosmic God-Hug. On a human, the place where I was taken would be the Heart. As God brought me in for a Cosmic Hug, He said, 'You are my child. I love you. I love you. I love you. Go tell ‘em.' He said it with a Southern accent. He patted me on the back like a coach encouraging his player to get back in the game.
~~
-Sam J, 8/16/2014:
We all are star seeds sent here to have the human experience for the purpose of integrating conscious awareness/wisdom into our own light bodies and return home with this energy. Alien worlds for the most part run on knowledge and logic. Those worlds are being left behind and giving way to the worlds who have the intangibles, love, creativity, imagination and so on.
Understand that where your conscious awareness is focus in your everyday life pretty much determines the level of consciousness and alertness. If your mind has a stranglehold on your conscious awareness then heck, it will be one helluva wake-up call. But if you have made the conscious effort to move your awareness away from the mind to the heart then it's no big deal. In other words if you have made the physical world and the world of Spirit into one consciousness then you are always of both worlds and never of either world.
--
-Laura M, 3/31/2012:
And there was still more for me to understand. The focus again fell on my infant son and hundreds if not thousands of my ancestors. I was aware of light surrounding many of them. They stood out. I felt tremendous love from them. 'Notice,' He said, 'your ancestors, all these beings, came together in your behalf, to make you uniquely you. I realized in Earth words He was referring to my DNA. 'You wanted to go to Earth to learn, to progress, and to contribute to creation. All these spirits came together to help you do that.' The focus then was back to my baby. 'In all of creation,' he said, 'your infant son chose you to be his mother, none other. Together,' he said, 'you made a covenant to fill these rolls in each other's Earth life. This covenant is and was a very sacred covenant not to be taken lightly.' Suddenly I could not wait to return to earth, to my sons, all 4 of them, to my family, to life on Earth. But, before doing so, I was brought to another level of awareness.
--
-Linda G, 7/20/2008:
I came to understand that we all choose to come to Earth to fulfill a plan of some sort or even learn about a particular interest. We choose our bodies, parents, and life plan. May I also add that some people come here for the most simple of reasons; to learn how to play tennis for example; or simply for the cake and food - as silly as this sounds our life plans aren't so high and lofty as one might think. I DIDN'T MEET ANY 'SAVE THE WORLDERS' OR ANYONE WISHING TO BE A PRESIDENT. MOST HAD SIMPLE WISHES. I was also told we could exist on different planes for other lives but our life here on Earth is a life not purely to experience physical pleasure or pain but to have a physical experience because in all other planes we don't need a body as a vessel. I also learnt that this life here is just a drop of water in the bucket of lives in which we all experience, many here on Earth and many in other realms of existence. All to progress and grow in some way. The main purpose here is to LOVE. I was also told that this would be my last life here on Earth as there will be nothing left for me to learn by coming here again. I had the feeling though that I'd be off to some other magical place!
--
-Kevin L, 3/20/2022:
I thought, 'How could a machine have a soul?' The voice said, 'Let me put it this way. Your soul is connected to your consciousness. The moment your species came into being, you start to develop a soul. But it is not until you become self-aware, that your soul is solidified. That does not mean complete, and it takes a long time for your soul to develop. Just like your species when you became self-aware the first thing you do, other than survive, was to figure out your place in the universe. You looked to the stars and wondered, 'Where did I come from? What is this universe all about?' It does not matter if you are a biological creature or artificial creation like a machine. The moment you become self-aware the quest for 'how' and 'why' is on. A soul is a soul; pure Energy connected with consciousness and intelligence. This is a very powerful force in our universe. Those who are artificial intelligences will strive to answers these questions which humans have dwelled upon since the dawn of time.
--
-Joanie S, 7/10/2011:
I was pulled back through the ceiling tiles and into a tunnel, to a place of cloudy space. The cloudy area materialized into a large marble room with marble doors and a 'being' at the center. I'll refer to this person as 'the Grim Reaper,' who was cloaked in a dark cloth, covering all parts. The Grim Reaper pointed (indicating to me to choose a door). But before I could choose, a door opened and I had already gone through it. I found myself in what I now think of as a previous life. I smelled smoke from a fire I was near, and saw others around me. I looked into another woman's eyes, and I knew her immediately as the woman I called my grandmother in this life. I knew then that our lives had 'danced' around each other since time began. She was once my mother and once my sister. She was my aunt, and several times my cousin. The life that was being shown to me now was during a prehistoric time, when we lived winters by a creek cave, and summers we had a camp in the woods where we foraged. Looking down, I realized I had a child in my arms, and the woman I had known in so many lives was chatting with me, telling me to cover the child to keep it warm. Then she was showing me how to tie the wraps around me to carry the child while we collected wood.
--
-Amy C, 10/9/2010:
In my NDE though, I came to understand that most of us have lived much, MUCH longer than we could even fathom. That our life which feels so very long is infinitesimal when placed in the whole picture, which for that matter, cannot even be framed. I was shown how every single individual through their own free will, chooses paths that mathematically take them to the circumstances of their next existence or life. That nothing at all sits in accident or chaos. That every single aspect of our lives are ruled by natural Laws that we placed ourSELVES in! In a sense, we create our own worlds. I was shown how one can never assume either, that if someone lives a life of suffering that this is because of 'evil' deeds. Many may choose a life of suffering because of what it Awakens in them, or because of how they can touch others from that position, etc. We can NEVER EVER assume that we can be accurate in guessing why each being lives the life they live. I cannot describe the relief - the refreshing, peaceful balm this Knowledge was for me. To finally gather this Truth that I'd yearned for all of my life. That all really IS Good! That there IS sense and beauty all around. That no one is just free falling as it had seemed before! That God doesn't just get to toy with us as He pleases with random ideas of tests, including rewards and punishments that just depend upon His current mood or mindset. Because even who God is, is within those Laws. While in this experience, out in the vast expanse of stars, planets, moons, and Intelligence, I Knew complete trust for what felt like the first time. This was inexplicable bliss for me. I remember radiating with gratitude. I had lived in fear, distrust, and panic for thirty consecutive years.
--
-Marta Y, 1/26/2010:
After this I saw myself floating in the void, and little by little tiny spheres of many colors became manifest, not moving at first, then suddenly starting to vibrate while smoothly approaching me and incorporating themselves with my essence, which made me feel something I can't manage to describe, it was as if I was being tickled. I asked what this was, and a voice said, 'This is the knowledge you have accumulated in previous lives, it was kept from you, but now it will be of use to you.'
I saw my life in rapid images, from the moment of my birth. I, who thought that my mother had never loved me, saw clearly, and felt, her love when she saw me for the first time. I saw how she kissed me and enfolded me in her arms. I felt different feelings and with every image that went through my mind, or before my eyes, I cannot define it. And just as I could feel deeply happy at an image of something good I had done for someone, so also this feeling would change immediately and I would feel myself deeply ashamed of something bad that I had done. I realized that no one was judging me other than myself, with a conscience full of wisdom and divine justice, which made me pass judgment on myself. I realized that I had done more bad than good and I was hugely regretful of my actions. From the depths of my soul, I asked to be given the chance to mend the damage I had done to the people who loved me. I learned that the spirit is God, Who is eternal, and that we reincarnate to learn different things, which would be impossible in a single lifetime. I learned that we form a single being with everything created. I learned that my earthly eyes are those through which God can recognize Himself, and be conscious of Himself. And I learned that what we think, feel and do remains imprinted in the universe and that we come to this life to improve, to learn in humility about all that surrounds us, and to teach what we have learned to others, and especially I learned that life is focused on two aspects: Love and Service.
--
-William Si, 4/29/2013:
My understanding of what my mission is on this earth, primarily has been hidden from me, (not only at my request but with my permission). I asked that it be hidden so that I didn't complete it to soon. Yet, I also agreed that "Sign post" would be placed along the way, just so that I would have reminders that I'm following my chosen path.
An understanding in what life is about and what our purpose truly is here. The mormons believe and teach there are "Classes" and "Levels" in heaven that we will be judged and placed in and only in the highest level can we "Ascend" to be with god. From my experience I learned or remembered there were no "Classes or levels" as they were teaching. Yet the levels are more of understanding than punishments. Would it make sense to put a 2 year old in with a group of people with phd's? The 2 year old wouldn't understand. Yet, those with the phd's would humble themselves with their level of understandings to teach, nurture and help the 2 year old grow in their levels of understanding.
Prior to being mormon, I was raised in a methodist/pentecostal home. I grew up believing that god the father was an angry vengeful god and that jesus was sent to save us from his wrath. Wrong!!!
For one thing, god is not an angry vengeful god, but is a loving parent to all of his children. One thing he did tell me, if you struggle with trying to do all the principals he taught, "Stop"!!! Don't do them all at one time. Take one and work on it, when it becomes second nature, them pick up the next one, etc. When he said, "These things I do, you can do also, and then some", was not an exaggeration, but truth. When we look back on our life after we leave here, we will see that we had done all that he had taught, and more.
One of the other things he told me was, what better way for man to know that we don't have to be saved. Saved from what? Our soul is already eternal, always will be. Our soul/spirit is literally a child of god and as such is eternal. When we realize that all things, all words come from god, nothing is offensive to god because it came from god. What is offensive is how we perceive it.
--
-Lou F, 1/1/1999:
We traveled toward the beginning of it all, the inner portions of the Universe. Kazillions of planets around Kazillions of suns and the closer to the center we approached the more concentrated the number of galaxies. It is like the plate you saw, the largest part, after it shattered was at the center and those parts that shattered first were sent the farthest from the center. So is everything in the Universe. All is but a circle within a circle wrapped in a circle. Each level, each dimension, is but a layer of the original, which is without end. I watched as millions of orbs systematically entered the many planets before me. They appeared as bees flitting from flower to flower, pollinating each, one after another. Mich'l took me closer and I could now see that so many of these planets had life on them and the orbs were joining with the creatures of these planets. Not every creature was the same on every planet but they all had some commonalities: a head, a body, extremities, and the Light Beings would animate them for a time. We headed away from the center now and Mich'l said that Gabriel would have more to explain to me and that he, Mich'l, wanted me to know that he was pleased with the many times he had called on me to do his bidding and that I performed my duties well. His parting words were ‘You will never again be made to forget!’
I was journeying back to where I knew Earth would be and watched as comets and asteroids casually passed by me or I passed them. The colors of the gaseous cloud formations were striking. I started looking at these infant galaxies, as one would cloud formations back on Earth, imagining what shape they were taking on. This one a boat, this a bird with wings, this a scarf floating in the breeze, until I recognized what was the Constellation ORION and I knew I was getting close to my destination. While drifting through Orion, I noticed two blazing celestial bodies racing parallel to its center, looking as twin arrows exiting from an archers bow and headed straight for the ""Blue Marble"" of home. Immediately a vision of millions of people crying because of the devastation of portions of New York City came to me. I became aware of a strange feeling I had not known previously, and I thought that might be because this was the city I had grown up in. I saw a huge Earthquake, a magnitude of 8.6 in some place named Eureka. A ham operator or radio announcer was directing thousands of people migrating from areas of frequent disasters to places of safety. A space station appeared to be falling from the heavens because of an internal explosion. Missiles were being simultaneously fired into space from several nations. I thought the Light Being had shown me all there was to see but these were different, stronger, and there was no pre-screening as before. Gabriel appeared beside me, I thought because I had felt shaky, but it was to explain the now sprawling galactic view of my galaxy.
The Sun was expanding and spewing off huge ectoplasm balls, more than it has ever done in it’s past, and in the very direction the planets would orbit through. I could not take my eyes from the Earth and as I watched what effect these eruptions would have on the Earth, a large mass passed me, larger than any of the planets known to me. As it passes, I see the Earth wobble wildly as would a top toward the end of its spin. The rotation stopped and slowly started again but it was tilted now and I was drawn in closer like the zoom of a lens. The ash clouds that had engulfed the Earth thinned, and like a tack welded piece of metal being dismantled, I could see the ocean bodies starting to rise, first the Pacific, along the ‘Ring of Fire,’ then the others, synchronistical.
As the waters shifted upon the landmasses, the landmasses started to sink under the waters added pressure upon it. When the pressures equaled out to the spin of the changing axis, the Earth no longer looked as it did moments before. It was newer, cleaner, and more beautiful with darker greens and lighter blues. Some of the new landmasses looked similar to a few of the other planets I had recently visited with Mich'l. People were upon this Earth and appeared happier and more content although seemingly living like the Native populations of old. Cities, built by the Ancient Ones, that were buried beneath the oceans, were now being populated by the surviving people in this new world. I saw tribes joining tribes and small nations forming, but it was what I didn't see that made my heart burst. There were no more wars. True peace and happiness had finally befallen on mankind. Gabriel now tells me that this is his message that I must take back, to let others know that there is little to fear, for the Earth will go on forever, as did all the planets I had visited. I am to tell the world to look to ORION, and they will know when the new world will come upon them. I ask him, ‘what of the others there on Earth, during the change?’ Gabriel tells me that all will be lifted. Some will be lifted higher than others will and no longer enjoy the physical plane, while some will be left on the Earth to replenish and rebuild the physical. They too will be of a higher elevation then any that are living there now!
'MAN WILL PREY ON MAN ~ UNTIL MAN PRAYS FOR MAN!'
--
-Duane S, 8/15/2015:
It was all an expression and celebration of love. On earth, this reunion would have been unfathomable, between members of an ancient soul group who were celebrating the return home of one of their own. Slowly, as I looked at those gathered to greet me, I realized they were all there. Surprisingly they were not only from this life, but also from a prior life in Germany. I realized that the same souls have possibly played different parts in my multiple lives. Sometimes these souls had been my daughter, my wife, or my mother. While at first this idea had startled me, I was soon humbled. Who was I to tell God what he could or couldn’t do with his creations? Just because some Sunday school teacher had different ideas about how things worked, it didn’t really matter.
My joy deepened as I realized that I had only left behind an earthly vestige of those I love. The essence of each of those souls, was also here with me now. Besides my friends and family, there were the friendly Germans who had been hauntingly familiar while I was a young soldier in Germany. Now I knew why they seemed so familiar at the time, they had been friends and family from a prior lifetime there. I now understood that I had left nothing behind on earth. The eternal essences of all my loved ones from that life, as well as all other incarnations, were all here to greet me. All I had left behind was a character, playing a role in a drama that we had chosen to experience. In the meantime, our real eternal essence remained in God’s realm. Suddenly, it was all so simple.
As I was shown around, it was explained to me how most of our celestial, eternal knowledge is blanked-out during our chosen life spans on earth. We must temporarily forget most of what our higher-self already knows so we can immerse ourselves in the roles we have chosen to play. Furthermore, they said that it might take a while for all my knowledge and memories to return. To ease the transition back into this realm, I was told to think of my time on earth as an extended visit to the ultimate theme park. Consider it a place with thrilling rides and various adventures that I could choose to experience or not. I was also reminded that the reason we leave the celestial realm at all was for the excitement, variety, adventure, and entertainment that different incarnations offer. However, to take all our celestial knowledge with us on our various adventures would have ruined the very experience that we had chosen to live. Someone there said that I should think of our trips to other realms as choosing a new novel to read. I can choose a new book, depending on what I am in the mood for. Furthermore, if I knew every turn and twist of the story, line by line, prior to reading it, it would spoil the fun.
As one entity jokingly remarked, 'If the eternal, divine part of us grows tired of singing and playing harps, there are thousands of other universes created for our spiritual growth, amusement, and entertainment. Eternity is a long time to do nothing but play harps.' I heard this concept best expressed in The Course in Miracles, 'We are only here for three reasons: to remember who we are; to help others remember who they are; and . . . to enjoy the trip . . . , unless, of course, we use our free will and choose not to.'
As my orientation went on, they explained how on that celestial side of the veil, anything we desire is instantaneously provided. We just need to feel the desire. However, within lies the reason for all the realms outside of heaven. Having everything we want all the time develops within us a desire for variety and change for a challenge. It would be like a game in which everyone was a winner. Soon, the game would become boring, and we would look for another, more challenging one.
Somehow, all this sounded familiar. To demonstrate the process of instantaneous fulfillment, one of them asked me to think about something I really desired. Thinking back on it, what I chose seemed odd since I was in such an esteemed place demonstrating such an important concept. But, suddenly I had an urge for a piece of my mother’s famous homemade chocolate cake with her special fudge frosting. As soon as I thought of the cake, my earthy mother was handing me the biggest piece of dark chocolate cake I had ever seen. Dare I say it was heavenly? Although she appeared there with us, I knew some part of her was still back on earth because she had not died yet. My guess was that she was probably asleep, dreaming of lovingly making her son a piece of her divine chocolate cake.
--
-Sandi T, 10/18/2020:
I understood immediately the fullness of life on this planet. I could see when it broke apart from a sun, spinning and cooling and collecting debris; until the first of these creatures heard itself laugh and understood the sound for what it was. In that moment, self-awareness was awakened and the seeds of civilization sprouted.
I understood that everything that we do here on Earth, all that we are, all that we experience, allows creation to exist. Every beautiful thing, every wonderful being and creature, whether on earth or in any universe, relies upon people who are on the extremely rare places like Earth.
The Great Intelligence (god) is a paradox. It is completely loving and fully unlimited. Which by the definition of paradox, means it is impossible? It cannot be limited only to love; it cannot be limited to only being unlimited; or it is not unlimited.
Earth is a place where the unlimited becomes limited; where the singular becomes many. Here, it can know community and loneliness. It can know heartache and hope. It can know all which an unlimited being of pure love cannot. It can conceive and perceive evil; which in truth it cannot do this either. To solve the paradox, it must experience helplessness and limitation and all as it is Real. In this place, it is all so REAL.
So what is free will? Free will is the option to come here to help solve the paradox of 'god'. To be all that we are not, so that everything wondrous and joyful may continue to exist. So that love itself may continue to exist. So that the Unlimited is not limited to being only unlimited.
Why are the answers always, 'simply to exist' and 'to choose love' and 'to learn how to love'? Because all you need to do, to solve the paradox, is to exist. And as we exist here, each time we choose love, we expand the universe. Love is life's longing for itself. Despite the reality of what we live, even the darkest souls among us cannot help but to reach, to yearn, and move towards goodness and towards love.
For love is the true nature of who we are. And when we experience horrible things, the question 'why' comes to mind because it is the central question of love, life, and of this world. The answer is 'so that all things might continue to exist.'
Every soul chose to come here and to suffer because of love. Each soul loves the universe, loves life, and loves this world and ALL of the worlds. Each soul loves ALL of the people so immensely and intensely that they chose to come here so that all the universes may teem with beautiful, joyful LIFE.
Every creature that I saw, acknowledges that your life gives them the gift of life. And when each soul goes 'home' after they die, they will know the rewards of their own gift, too. The 'reward' for their sacrifice will be joy, love, and feeling incredible, wonderful, beautiful joy at the LIFE and the LOVE everywhere in the universe.
When you go home, you meet your own soul. You willingly came here to forget yourself. You willingly came here to save every beautiful and wonderful thing. By suffering what 'god' cannot, you give the gift of life.
--
-Henry W, 6/22/2008:
I became aware of other voices, the orbs or other souls around me I could hear them communicating to each other. There seemed to be cliques of orbs that were together. They spoke to one another about their lives on Earth and all they had perceived and felt. They shared not only in words, but in sharing the experience. If one orb couldn't understand, it disappeared and then reappeared. The orb somehow went back to Earth and experienced that 'life' to further understand. I understood that here time did not exist and these beings could manifest themselves at any time on Earth they desired. These orbs or rather 'souls' would leave this realm, detach themselves with this universe, and return to the universe of our Earth. There they would live and die, then return and share the experience with all the other souls. A soul that could not understand the experience could go and live that life also to experience that life. I learned we have many lives, past, present and future.
These souls, our souls cannot experience certain things like pain, sorrow, hatred, and anger. Though these are negative things, it was important for them to understand and experience them. Perhaps to understand the motivations of human beings, or (and I believe this in my heart) to eventually evolve into a being like God - all knowing and understanding.
At this time things appeared to me, answers to other questions. I could see concepts as if they were entities. I could understand for the first time in my life E=MC2. I learned that our universe is one of many. It is like a Petri dish. Designed with its own rules to raise a specific being. In this case, to raise beings like humans. Each Universe had its own specific laws of Physics. I now realize that the amount of information a soul must learn is vast, more so then we can possibly imagine here.
The next concept or rule I learned is that God can never be proven by scientific means. To do so would corrupt the environment. It would destroy faith. When we have faith we seek, we learn. If God were to appear before us like a huge being at the United Nations, the entire world would believe, but also live in fear. To successfully experience the human existence, one must be physically out of touch with God. We have to learn and seek on our own. We need to search out the meaning of our own existence and experience here on earth. Faith is the engine of discovery. Without faith, we are just like ants.
I learned why bad things happen to good people. If nothing bad ever happened to us, we would all basically be the same. It is like metal in a forge you have to heat it and strike it repeatedly to make a useful tool from it. We start this life with a blank piece of paper. With every incident we experience, a part of the blueprint is recorded until a complete plan for an individual is created. This blueprint dictates the end of our lives. To live happily in this realm is to become aware of the blueprint and change it. Lastly, time is only a concept measured here. In the other realm, it doesn't exist. While we may experience pain and sorrow on earth, it is only a second in the grand scheme of things. We have an eternity to live and in reality, souls never really die. Our life is just a thought providing circumstances for this existence. As the soul progresses, this trauma is forgotten and put in its proper perspective as part of the learning process.
One question I always personally had and that was answered is, 'Are ghosts real?' The answer I was given was, 'Yes, in the human body there are two forms of spiritual being.' One is the 'soul', which is the spiritual being that has a symbiotic relationship with the physical body. The second is the being created by the 'biology' of the human body. This being is intelligent and is basically the personality of the individual. Its purpose is to provide for the human needs of food, hunger, survival, and procreation. This concept is very similar to Freud's 'Id, Ego and Superego' The division of mind and personality. The soul provides us with all the things of the individual that separates us from the Animal Kingdom. This is the ability to reason, use logic, or feel awe when seeing a sunset. The soul is the creative side of humankind. The second being is more our animal side and drives us to accomplish or pursue things to satisfy our needs and wants.
When we die, the soul separates and proceeds to the other side (forgive me for simplifying everything). The entity of the body dies, taking with it the strong emotions, 'baggage', and drives of human beings. This is a natural part of the dying process. However, sometimes under violent or sudden death this othebeing, for lack of a better word, doesn't have a chance to die. Instead, it remains behind as the drive, emotions, and motivation of our spirit. This body being, without the guidance of the soul is basically just a shell. It wanders about with no goals or purpose. It often repeats acts that it has done before because memories are the only 'guidance' that it has. In time, this being's energy dissipates and nothing is left. That process can take a long time. Hence, we have a 'ghost' that haunts a house or person. A ghost has the center of its existence when it was with its human body and soul. Here on earth it remains until it eventually vanishes. The ghost can be communicated with and guided, yet has no real will of its own but only that of habit.
--
-Peter P, 3/1/2023:
In the initial phase of waking up, I also received an experience with light of such a wonderful quality, that it is difficult to describe with words. I was shown three light waves on which today's humanity is evolving. For the sake of logic, I'm defining them here as the self-imposed pathways of awareness, that each individual can take to obtain the best possible results from their particular choice. The first way is what the main part of the global population has chosen and the daily struggle is enacted in that timeline. I don't want to give the impression that path is in any way better or superior than the other timelines. All experiences in human life eventually lead back to the divine light.
The second path was shown to me as a mixed way in a gray color. Here, euphoric phases are alternated in quick succession with depressive stages. It is as if people were switching between phases of competence and phases lacking of power, and then again to a new euphoric phase.
The third way is the one of the absolute victimhood. It was shown to me in colors dark and black. Power and responsibility were handed over to outer entities. Here only a very small part of the light spark can be addressed through motivation. Many beings of light from higher planes are providing a selfless service here, to again illuminate the way back to the light. This way corresponds with the absolute free choice of each individual as to whether they choose towards light or darkness.
I was also shown that in this darkness exists one of the most unbelievable choicess for humanity, because in this choice is also is the possibility to change the galaxy. The core truths of Love, Compassion, Kindness and Benevolence are towards what the human nature can and will evolve.
The first path of those three is so unbelievable for us incarnated beings. It can only be termed with definitions of Utopia, heavenly life of angels and/or ecstatic rapture.
There is a beautiful part of beings who always stay in this realm. They are dancing and singing through life. For them terms like synchronicity, grace, or cosmic guidance are the absolute central and essential elements in life. They realize how creation is working and that a life without the connection with the One Power of creation would disrupt everything. Humor, joy, fun, respect, compassion and gratitude is with them round the clock. In this wonderful place all fear is dissolved like mist in a brilliant sun. It is an all-encompassing field with absolute acceptance, comfort, peace, connectedness and a 100% awareness to be at the right place.
During this time of considering those things, I was guided by a wonderful being of light. I don't remember somebody else or meeting a certain individual. Only those impressions of the light of love and the perfect comprehension and acceptance remained.
In that moment, it simply seemed unbelievable and impossible to choose another path than the one of the light. What illuminates my life again and again from my light experience, is the irrepressible joy and happiness of an experience of indescribable beauty. I believe that all the people go through this same wonderful experience in a state of separation of the body (general anesthesia, unconsciousness) unfortunately they cannot all remember it.
I felt pure love, shining brighter than anything you can imagine. Everything is as beautiful, as pure as love and compassion. So that when you cross the veil and return to the other side you are becoming a part of it. We are bathing in the beauty of the song that makes our heart singing - That's God.
Nobody can give us something bigger. We wouldn't see it or understand it. That's Spirit in its highest form.
We as humans feel so alone and on our own. It's such a crushing feeling to remain in this imagined separation of our most wonderful thing and then to feel this earthly experience so painfully.
In the middle of life, a light experience happens that sweeps away all the reactions about this imaginary separation and dissolves the last doubts with this pure white light like a fog. It's the disintegration of a self-constructed veil that prevented a realization that all people are entitled to have as their birthright. It's delightful to know that the light is the most wonderful symphony in the cosmos and that it contains the colors and the sense of touch of the most beautiful experiences. A wonderful soul experience, that is imprinted in the deepest cells of the body.
For a moment I was on this other side of the veil. I was allowed to be part of this wonderful source of creation. Together with billions of points of light, which we call angel beings, shining brighter than the light. I was in the company of the highest compassion, with the highest Love.
All media, the total daily literature is filled with the dramas happening around the globe every minute.
How can somebody get the idea to write a text motivating us to get another point of view about the calamities in the world? What is motivating him to see the good in all those events, even if they might be so disturbing? That's probably the one decisive question for the survival of manhood. Thought power of the whole humanity is used to bring anarchy and separation between people. Human thoughts are creative and should, and can, be guided by us into appropriate pathways.
It depends on all of us to exercise our responsibility and to realize the true impact of our actions here in its entirety. We can't avoid to completely step away from all dramas. Disasters and calamities of humanity want to invite us to send our compassion and our benevolent energy generously towards the concerned people. Something which should be rather considered normal if our brothers and sister are in need.

Billboard Hot 100 chart

Position	Title	Artist	▲/▼	Last week	Weeks Charting	Peak
1	Last Night	Morgan Wallen	-	1	18	1
2	Karma	Taylor Swift Featuring Ice Spice	▲+25	27	12	2
3	Flowers	Miley Cyrus	▼-1	2	20	1
4	All My Life	Lil Durk Featuring J. Cole	▲+3	7	3	2
5	Calm Down	Rema & Selena Gomez	▼-1	4	39	4
6	Kill Bill	SZA	▼-3	3	25	1
7	Ella Baila Sola	Eslabon Armado X Peso Pluma	▼-1	6	11	4
8	Fast Car	Luke Combs	▲+2	10	10	8
9	Favorite Song	Toosii	▼-4	5	15	5
10	Creepin'	Metro Boomin, The Weeknd & 21 Savage	▼-1	9	26	3
11	Anti-Hero	Taylor Swift	▲+1	12	32	1
12	Die For You	The Weeknd & Ariana Grande	▼-1	11	44	1
13	Sure Thing	Miguel	-	13	44	13
14	Where She Goes	Bad Bunny	▼-6	8	2	8
15	Something In The Orange	Zach Bryan	▲+2	17	58	10
16	Un x100to	Grupo Frontera X Bad Bunny	▼-2	14	7	5
17	Boy's A Liar, Pt. 2	PinkPantheress & Ice Spice	▼-2	15	17	3
18	Rock And A Hard Place	Bailey Zimmerman	▲+1	19	51	10
19	Search & Rescue	Drake	▼-3	16	8	2
20	La Bebe	Yng Lvcas x Peso Pluma	▼-2	18	11	11
21	You Proof	Morgan Wallen	▲+2	23	55	5
22	Stand By Me	Lil Durk Featuring Morgan Wallen	▲+79	[FRESH]	1	22
23	Cupid	Fifty Fifty	▼-3	20	11	17
24	As It Was	Harry Styles	▼-2	22	61	1
25	Thinkin' Bout Me	Morgan Wallen	-	25	13	9
26	Chemical	Post Malone	▼-5	21	7	13
27	Hits Different	Taylor Swift	▲+74	[FRESH]	1	27
28	Snooze	SZA	-	28	25	28
29	I'm Good (Blue)	David Guetta & Bebe Rexha	▲+1	30	40	4
30	Snow On The Beach	Taylor Swift Featuring Lana Del Rey	▲+71	--	7	4
31	Need A Favor	Jelly Roll	▲+9	40	9	31
32	One Thing At A Time	Morgan Wallen	▼-6	26	26	10
33	Thought You Should Know	Morgan Wallen	▲+1	34	42	7
34	Eyes Closed	Ed Sheeran	▼-3	31	10	19
35	Pelle Coat	Lil Durk	▲+66	[FRESH]	1	35
36	Players	Coi Leray	▼-7	29	22	9
37	Dancin' In The Country	Tyler Hubbard	▼-13	24	15	23
38	Area Codes	Kali	▼-5	33	4	33
39	TQM	Fuerza Regida	▼-4	35	2	35
40	Thank God	Kane Brown With Katelyn Brown	▼-8	32	38	13
41	War Bout It	Lil Durk Featuring 21 Savage	▲+60	[FRESH]	1	41
42	Next Thing You Know	Jordan Davis	▼-3	39	19	37
43	Dance The Night	Dua Lipa	▲+58	[FRESH]	1	43
44	Tennessee Orange	Megan Moroney	▼-3	41	25	30
45	Cruel Summer	Taylor Swift	▲+4	49	4	29
46	Under The Influence	Chris Brown	▼-9	37	38	12
47	Religiously	Bailey Zimmerman	▲+1	48	4	40
48	Princess Diana	Ice Spice & Nicki Minaj	▼-5	43	7	4
49	Love You Anyway	Luke Combs	▼-4	45	16	15
50	Memory Lane	Old Dominion	▲+7	57	9	50
51	Por Las Noches	Peso Pluma	▼-9	42	12	28
52	PRC	Peso Pluma X Natanael Cano	▼-8	44	16	33
53	Bye	Peso Pluma	▲+48	[FRESH]	1	53
54	America Has A Problem	Beyonce Featuring Kendrick Lamar	▼-16	38	3	38
55	Mourning	Post Malone	▼-19	36	2	36
56	TQG	Karol G x Shakira	▼-3	53	14	7
57	See You Again	Tyler, The Creator Featuring Kali Uchis	▼-5	52	7	44
58	Daylight	David Kushner	▼-7	51	7	47
59	Never Imagined	Lil Durk Featuring Future	▲+42	[FRESH]	1	59
60	It Matters To Her	Scotty McCreery	▲+2	62	7	60
61	El Azul	Junior H x Peso Pluma	▼-5	56	8	55
62	Never Again	Lil Durk	▲+39	[FRESH]	1	62
63	AMG	Gabito Ballesteros, Peso Pluma & Natanael Cano	▼-5	58	19	37
64	Human	Cody Johnson	▼-3	61	18	61
65	Slut Me Out	NLE Choppa	▼-10	55	11	28
66	Pound Town 2	Sexyy Red & Tay Keith & Nicki Minaj	▲+35	[FRESH]	1	66
67	Big Dawg	Lil Durk & Chief Wuk	▲+34	[FRESH]	1	67
68	Cross The Globe	Lil Durk Featuring Juice WRLD	▲+33	[FRESH]	1	68
69	Chanel	Becky G & Peso Pluma	▼-9	60	7	55
70	Cowgirls	Morgan Wallen Featuring ERNEST	▼-4	66	13	40
71	Waffle House	Jonas Brothers	▼-7	64	5	57
72	Put Em On Ice	Lil Durk	▲+29	[FRESH]	1	72
73	300 Urus	Lil Durk	▲+28	[FRESH]	1	73
74	Sad Songs	Lil Durk	▲+27	[FRESH]	1	74
75	You, Me, & Whiskey	Justin Moore & Priscilla Block	▲+7	82	4	75
76	Grandson	Lil Durk Featuring Kodak Black	▲+25	[FRESH]	1	76
77	What It Is (Block Boy)	Doechii Featuring Kodak Black	▼-2	75	4	75
78	Ain't That Some	Morgan Wallen	▼-6	72	13	11
79	ICU	Coco Jones	▼-12	67	11	63
80	Shake Sumn	DaBaby	▼-11	69	4	69
81	Your Heart Or Mine	Jon Pardi	▲+8	89	3	81
82	Before Fajr	Lil Durk	▲+19	[FRESH]	1	82
83	B12	Lil Durk	▲+18	[FRESH]	1	83
84	Fragil	Yahritza y Su Esencia x Grupo Frontera	▼-14	70	6	69
85	Fight The Feeling	Rod Wave	▼-17	68	9	16
86	You Got Em	Lil Durk	▲+15	[FRESH]	1	86
87	Baby Don't Hurt Me	David Guetta, Anne-Marie & Coi Leray	▲+9	96	2	87
88	Beso	Rosalia & Rauw Alejandro	▼-11	77	10	52
89	Low Down	Lil Baby	▼-15	74	11	50
90	Say Yes To Heaven	Lana Del Rey	▼-36	54	2	54
91	People	Libianca	▲+1	92	5	89
92	Yandel 150	Yandel & Feid	▼-11	81	16	71
93	El Gordo Trae El Mando	Chino Pacas	▼-22	71	11	58
94	Bury Me In Georgia	Kane Brown	-	94	3	85
95	I Wrote The Book	Morgan Wallen	▼-11	84	18	18
96	Moonlight	Kali Uchis	▼-16	80	8	80
97	Mathematical Disrespect	Lil Mabu	▼-38	59	4	47
98	Everything I Love	Morgan Wallen	▼-7	91	18	14
99	Trance	Metro Boomin, Travis Scott & Young Thug	▼-20	79	17	42
100	Man Made A Bar	Morgan Wallen Featuring Eric Church	▼-12	88	13	15

Billboard Global 200 chart (most popular songs globally)

Position	Title	Artist	▲/▼	Last week	Weeks Charting	Peak
1	Ella Baila Sola	Eslabon Armado X Peso Pluma	▲+1	2	11	1
2	La Bebe	Yng Lvcas x Peso Pluma	▲+2	4	14	2
3	Cupid	Fifty Fifty	-	3	12	2
4	Flowers	Miley Cyrus	▲+1	5	20	1
5	Where She Goes	Bad Bunny	▼-4	1	2	1
6	Karma	Taylor Swift Featuring Ice Spice	▲+90	96	13	6
7	Un x100to	Grupo Frontera X Bad Bunny	▼-1	6	7	1
8	Calm Down	Rema & Selena Gomez	▼-1	7	48	3
9	Idol	YOASOBI	▲+1	10	7	9
10	All My Life	Lil Durk Featuring J. Cole	▲+4	14	3	7

Billboard 200 chart

Position	Title	Artist	Sales	Change	Last week	Weeks Charting
1	Midnights	Taylor Swift	283,488 (192,282 pure)	+409%	3	32
2	One Thing At A Time	Morgan Wallen	127,671 (5,372 pure)	+0%	1	13
3	Almost Healed	Lil Durk	124,125 (2,388 pure)	--	[FRESH]	1
4	SOS	SZA	54,174 (8,731 pure)	-24%	2	25
5	Dangerous: The Double Album	Morgan Wallen	47,801 (977 pure)	+3%	4	125
6	Lover	Taylor Swift	36,835 (6,005 pure)	-4%	6	197
7	Gettin' Old	Luke Combs	32,334 (1,946 pure)	-4%	8	10
8	Un Verano Sin Ti	Bad Bunny	32,069 (355 pure)	-3%	9	56
9	American Heartbreak	Zach Bryan	30,387 (1,586 pure)	-2%	10	54
10	Religiously. The Album.	Bailey Zimmerman	29,968 (1,064 pure)	-4%	11	3

Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: Why is X artist higher than Y artist on the 200 chart, even though X artist sold less?
A: This is because of a discrepancy between Billboard's ranking and the ranking from the website that the sales data is scraped from
Q: Where do you get the sales data from?
A: https://hitsdailydouble.com/sales_plus_streaming
Q: What does "err" mean on the 200 chart?
A: If you are seeing "err", that means that the bot I use to gather chart data couldn't identify sales data for a particular album because of a difference in album naming between Billboard and HitsDailyDouble

Lore, lore, lore...the basis of all stories, worldbuild, the fundamentals of any verse and any sort of fiction in general. Lore is often used to convey the narrative, backstory, history and general worldbuilding of a verse but, in some verses, it is used to convey the power level of a verse. This has been met with a resounding "FUCK THAT" from the powerscaling community, which I quite honestly find kinda stupid. So this post is going to be "debunking" many of the points people make against lore feats, explaining why they are valid, and why they can be compared to physical feats.
I've wanted to make this post for a while but with the release of Chosen Undead vs Last Dragonborn and it's heavy reliance on lore, and seeing everyone's reactions to it, I needed to make this. So, without further adue, let's go.

"It's not supported by visual feats"

This is the best argument against them and even then it is very easy to tear apart.
As some of you might be aware, not every franchise has the same narrative style. Some series are very in-your-face about their characters level of strength and power, for example series like Naruto, One Piece, Dragon Ball, or really most shonen.
Some series however prefer prefer to split their narrative and story away from the gameplay at large and treat them more like separate entities, for the purposes of whatever narrative or gameplay benefit the developers are chasing. An example of this is God of War, the developers and lore writers of the game have said that in the proper story of the game Kratos is far stronger than he's presented in gameplay, because if you ran around OHK'ing every single enemy in the game with zero effort then that's not really a game anymore. Another example of characters like this is, again, the Chosen Undead and the Last Dragonborn. Realistically, a bear shouldn't even be able to scratch a hair on the Last Dragonborns nutsack, but there needs to be a game to play, and you can't through gods at people as trash-mobs, at that point the players fighting gods loses ALL MEANING.
For people saying "why not have this in cutscenes and not gameplay," there are a VARIETY of reasons why that doesn't work. For the easiest one to get out of the way, imagine how jarring that would be as a player? Kratos is running around as a reasonably grounded warrior mid-game then a cutscenes starts then the clapping of his ballsack against his thighs causes tectonic shift across the solar system, that'd be weird to watch. Developers need to keep in mind what will make the player experience feel good throughout the experience, both in gameplay and cutscenes. The other reason is the one I will talk about right now...

"If they are Universal or Multiversal then why can't they destroy doors or break walls blocking their path and shit?"

This is ignoring the fundamental difference between attack potency and destructive capacity.
Attack Potency is the measure of force from an attack sent into a target. It is the amount of force a nuke hits with
Destructive Capacity is the measure of destruction an attack causes. It is the area of effect of a nuke.
Attack Potency does not immediately ascribe a level of Destructive Capacity, just because something has universe level attack potency does not mean it will blow up the universe. For example, using physical feats, Madara's God-Tree feat and the Death Star roughly have the same attack potency. Do they have the same destructive capacity, FUCK NO. Another example, this kick from Yor Forger hits wall level attack potency, did it blow up a wall? No.

"Actions speak louder than words"

This is a very common argument and I mainly think it's because people want to sound smart and refined when they say it not knowing how baffling this argument is
ACTIONS REQUIRE WORDS IN ORDER TO FUNCTION
If I should a clip of someone being healed, if they don’t know the character it could literally be anything. Time reversing to undo injuries. Regeneration. Someone else’s healing ability. Hell, even if you were to to inherently always assume it’s regen, what LEVEL are you to assume?
Low? High-Mid? Any variation of Godly?
You wouldn’t be able to tell someone without the accompanying statement that CLARIFIES an event. It’s physically impossible. The statement is 100% necessary.
Same with even planetary feats. For example, in the DCAU Golden AMAZO teleports an entire planet (Oa) to a new dimension. If you simply watched the scene where it happens you’d just assume he obliterated that planet.
Because it’s physically impossible to visualize Universe Destruction. If they “do” they do not use the Universe. They use their own custom model. DC, Marvel, Dragon Ball, etc. Their own unique cosmologies. And how do you ever know this is their version of a Universe? Oh, yeah, a statement.
And if they use a normal Universe, they don’t SHOW a Universe. Because they can’t. They instead use many galaxies and SAY Universe. In other words: A STATEMENT.
Even taking something as visual and primal as the Dragon Ball universe shockwaves from Goku and Beerus require lore. They're sending shockwaves across the universe? How do you know it's a universe? Statement. How do you know how big that universe is? Statement. What is their shockwave doing? Statement. Even the most visual of visual feats require statements, require a level of lore, in order to function. Because without any statements? Without any lore? Those shockwaves are, what, planet level?
Same with speed. You can’t visualize Infinity. Or immeasurable. Ever just see Flash move at incalculable speeds? No, because you CAN’T. He just moves vaguely fast visually and they SAY it’s infinite/immeasurable/whatever speed he’s moving at the time.
It’s just an inherent limitation of the visual form. Statements are necessary to form adequate understanding of context (which is necessary to properly quantify a feat) and explanations for what is happening.

"I can't read"

Mood

"It's not consistent"

This doesn't matter. Rule three of Death Battle clearly states that "a combatants maximum potential is examined unless specified otherwise."
Death Battle has also said that they don't function on the conventional rule of outliers, PIS and "oh that's not consistent." This has been said as early (to my memory) as the Ghost Rider vs Lobo Q&A at timestamp 17:20. Tldr they said "canon is canon, if a character did this feat we can't just ignore it." And this goes deeper into the fundamental misunderstanding of what an outlier means
An outlier means that you fucked up your numbers or your calculations and created something WILDLY DIFFERENT than what is consistent. For example if you where calc'ing the Dragon Ball shockwaves four times and got Universal, 2x Universal, 1.5x Universal, and Dwarf Star Level. One of these is an outlier, and is therefore axed.
These feats are not outliers. Because an outlier, technically, doesn't exist, it is the result of YOU fucking up your numbers. But these feats exist. Doomslayer did shake all of hell, Kratos did battle the gods and titans that created the universe, the Chosen Undead did sustain the universe-creating First Flame, the Dragonborn did kill Alduin who had the power to devour all of space and time. They exist, you can't ignore them.

"You are unable to calculate lore feats"

Not only does this heavily rely on the kind of lore feats we're talking about and has been debunked by DB themselves (calc'ing Miraak moving the island of Solstheim which came from a lore statement in a book, calc'ing Osse's raising of Numenor, Gul'Dans raising of the Broken Isles and Illidans shaking of the planet in the Q&A, etc.) but this applies to physical feats too.
How do you calc something being Multi+? Low Complex? Outerversal? You can't, whether it's visual or not. There is no CALC you can do to determine things above universal, that's why on sites like versus battle wiki they stop giving ton-values or TnT values for tiers above uni and instead give just classifications of what makes something multi or low complex or outer and so on and so forth.
If we where reliant on just visual feats that are calc'able, then fiction would cap at Uni and MFTL+, nothing would higher, NOTHING.

In Conclusion:

Here are some verses to look out for in terms of busted lore-verses.
Elder Scrolls, Dark Souls, Warcraft, Tolkien-verse, Destiny, God of War, Doom, Devil May Cry, Fate, BlazBlue, Guilty Gear, etc.
So yeah, please stop downplaying lore feats, thank you.

Welcome back blood suckers! We return with the next part of the Anne Rice vampire saga. I don’t know about you guys, but this section was a struggle for me. I was hoping Marius was going to snap Lestat back to reality and send him on his way to meet Louis. Instead, we got the backstory of all backstories without even a mention of Lestat for seven chapters. At times, I wished I could crawl into the dirt and experience my own ‘first death’, but I’m curious to hear what y’all thought so let’s dive in!
Part 7 Chapter 2: Lestat makes his way through Marius’ house and realizes it’s the first time he’s seen a vampire’s home fully stocked with awesome mortal stuff (including “giant stuffed beasts” which I originally thought said breasts). The guy really has everything: amazing murals, huge library, menagerie, indoor greenhouse, and sculpture hall. Lestat is eventually pulled away from these incredible sights by Marius’ heartbeat.
Chapter 3: Marius and Lestat sit down for the long-awaited chat and we learn that what I last week called ‘Lestat’s pity party/hunger strike in the dirt’ was actually his first death and is totally normal for vampires. Marius has such strong ESP that he can tell what’s going on with vamps all over the world, which is how he knew about Lestat (so vamp GPS does exist!). But, unlike other old vamps, Marius chooses to speak as he finds the ESP imprecise and prefers a consensual mode of communication. He also opts to move like a human as he finds this elegant and all those vamp powers tire him out. Marius wants to share his vampire secrets with Lestat and show him Those Who Must Be Kept, but warns him that he will still need to find ‘his own reasons to exist’. Forgetting all about the emo phase he’d just been having, Lestat is like, “Yeah, yeah whatever. You don’t even know how perfectly awful I am. But why me?” Marius tells Lestat he’s the chosen one since he’s an innocent and curious dude who’s happy just living in the moment. We learn that Marius was born at the start of the Roman Empire and that being born ‘on the cusp of the old way of seeing things’ also unites him with Lestat. Plus, they were both turned into vamps because they were…pretty? Before Marius will continue his story, he tells Lestat he wants to show him Those Who Must Be Kept.
Chapter 4: Marius takes Lestat down a creepy staircase to an ancient Egyptian vampire shrine where two figures are revealed. Lestat thinks they are the most incredible statues he’s ever seen until he touches the woman’s cheek and realizes…THEY’RE ALIVE! Lestat is initially spooked, but slowly understands that Marius cares for these beings and can’t really do anything else to them without being cruel. Lestat apologizes for being a rude scaredy cat and Marius tells him Those Who Must Be Kept don’t even eat anymore and haven’t had a drop of blood in 300 years. Yet even without food, they can move or control things with their mind, but never do so in Marius’ presence. At Marius’ urging, Lestat stares at the figures and tells them how beautiful they are and the woman’s name, Akasha, appears on his lips. Mesmerized, Lestat wants to KISS THE WOMAN AND SPIT BLOOD INTO HER MOUTH until he realizes he’s fucking nuts and pulls back, begging Marius to go upstairs. As they leave, one of Those Who Must Be Kept opens up the tabernacle, proving all Marius said true. Marius has a little meltdown upstairs wondering why Akasha revealed her name to Lestat and not him, her protector for the past 17 CENTURIES, but snaps out of it and is ready to tell Lestat the whole story.
Chapter 5: Marius was an illegitimate son in a rich Roman household who had everything he could desire except the love of his dead mother (but at least she gave him her beautiful Aryan looks). One evening, he’s in a Gaul tavern, so busy writing, drinking wine and doing his own philosophizing that he doesn’t notice a creepy giant staring at him. They have a long chat about Egypt and religion and, just when we’re about to die of boredom, the stranger tells Marius he is going to become a god and then knocks him out. Marius comes to in a wagon being pulled through a forest and eventually arrives at a Celtic fortress where he realizes that if he doesn’t want to become a human sacrifice he “had better try to get the hell out of here.” (Apparently, Marius also cannot keep the same speaking style).
Chapter 6: Marius’ captor, Mael, and his Druid pals are now dressed in white robes and tell Marius he will drink the Divine Blood and become a father of gods. Until this occurs, Marius is kept under constant watch and passes the time getting drunk and eating. To keep his boredom at bay, he listens to Mael tell him all about their gods, especially the god he is to become who goes by many names including ‘the lover of the mother’. This god takes blood sacrifices every full moon but on All Saints Day gets to have a yummy feast and make prophecies. He serves the Great Mother who ‘is without visible form but nevertheless present in all things’ (Ok, so Mother Earth, not a literal mother. Phew). Marius recalls others who have served this goddess and things don’t go particularly well for them (castration, dismemberment, etc.) so he’s not feeling too great about his upcoming transformation and continues to get drunk and yell at Mael. Eventually, Marius’ hair is long enough and it’s time for the feast. After a little makeover, Marius is placed in a wagon and driven deep into the forest. He is shocked to see the Druids have made two massive wicker figures and are filling them with evildoers who will be sacrificed in the ceremony. Marius is taken to the ‘sanctuary of the gods’, a grove with creepy faces carved into the trees and skulls on spikes. A voice comes from within one of the trees, double checking that Marius is indeed the chosen one, and then invites Marius to come on down.
Chapter 7: Descending a set of winding stairs, Marius is no longer afraid, but excited that all the nonsense Mael’s been spouting is true and he really is about to become a god. But this feeling doesn’t last long as he comes face to face with a shrivelled, burnt skeleton-like figure (but with beautiful hair of course). The figure tells Marius he will make him a god, but only if he promises to escape the Druids, go down to Egypt and figure out why the sun is burning up all the gods of darkness (aka vampires if you haven’t caught on). Marius is turned into a vampire and, as the blood is passed back and forth, is given his own set of vamp rules to follow. The figure drains Marius one last time and is like, “Go feast. But don’t forget to run away after. I’ll be dying now. Buh bye.”
Chapter 8: Confirming the Druids’ hopes and beliefs, Marius emerges and he is STARVING. He feasts on dozens of men and then plays judge for a while until finally the festival is over and Marius knows he must escape and go to Egypt. He tries to use his god status to persuade the Druids to leave him alone, but they’re not falling for his nonsense and try to force him down into the tree dungeon. They grab the old, shrivelled god out of the tree and casually chuck him into the fire, and his last words to Marius are to obey his command and go to Egypt. Pretending he’s a weak, scared boy, the Druids loosen their grip on Marius and he is able to break free. Sprinting into the forest, Marius finally realizes he has some sweet vamp powers but doesn’t have time to appreciate these as he's being pursued by thousands of Celtic worshippers. He still manages to escape and digs down into the Earth for his first day of vamp sleep. When he wakes, Marius is hungry and is like, “How the hell was that burnt guy only eating once a month!?” After some dinner, he decides he will go down to Egypt, but not for the gods, just to have a vamp adventure! Yet when he finally arrives, Marius realizes how alone he is among mortal men and cannot bear being ‘the relentless bringer of death’ so continues to seek out the old gods.
Chapter 9: In Alexandria, a god appears to Marius in the middle of the night and the next evening something speaks to him, telling him to come to a door. Down another windy stairway, Marius finds an underground temple where he encounters another burnt vamp god with beautiful hair who’s like, “Hey, how come you’re not all crispy?” We then meet the Elder, a vamp god that survived ‘the burning’ and who Marius recognizes as the one that came to him the previous night. Breaking his years of silence, the Elder tells Marius that vampires started BY ACCIDENT four thousand years ago. After Osiris was killed, dismembered and then put back together by Isis (except his penis of course), he became the immortal ruler of the dead and drank blood sacrifices. But who knew that drinking blood would have so many fun side effects!? So Osiris and Isis became the first vampires. Despite their blood creating stronger and stronger vamps, Osiris and Isis eventually got stingy and refused to let others drink from them, while also starving themselves. Because of the blood connection, whatever happens to Isis and Osiris happens to all other vampires, so it was not so nice of them to have these suicidal ideations. Their keeper eventually decided this must all be a big joke so left Osiris and Isis out in the sun. But surprise, surprise, it was all true and thus caused the BBQ vampire fest. The other vamps managed to get Osiris and Isis (who only got a nice suntan) back underground, but they no longer chat or eat and DEFINITELY aren’t letting anyone have their blood now. But guess what!? That’s just the version told in Egyptian mythology. Now we get to learn the real story. (And at this point I let out a vamp-volume scream and curse Anne Rice’s ghost.)
Chapter 10: Two humans, Akasha and Enkil, came into Egypt from ‘some other land’ and taught the cannibal Egyptians how to play nice and worship Mother Earth. One day, a furniture-throwing, dirty-language-loving, demon was causing problems with the royal steward so Enkil decided to go have a chat with it. After a night in the haunted house, Enkil emerged with the knowledge that demons are so grumpy because they don’t have a body! Akasha then joined her husband for another wild night in the demon house. Everyone else was terrified of the demonic commotion and ran away, except for a small group of men who were fed up with the Mother Earth ways and wanted to go back to eating people. These men entered the house in the middle of the night and stabbed Enkil and Akasha over and over. Out of nowhere, Gabrielle emerged and was like, “You done fucked up now.” Ok, just kidding that didn’t happen. But it was a horrible idea because the stab wounds were now convenient openings for the demon to enter the bodies of Enkil and Akasha. When their blood mixed, a new creature was created, with the intelligence and souls of the mortals and the mind reading abilities of the demon. But the worst of all was that they could only be kept alive by drinking blood! Enkil and Akasha also learned immediately that fire and sunlight would kill them. The King and Queen tried to keep all of this a secret, but people were a bit weirded out that they no longer saw their mighty rulers during the day and could only worship at night. Conspirators continued to try and kill Enkil and Akasha, but they always magically healed, so people instead sought to gain their immortality by taking their blood and drinking it. We learn that the vampire transformation is only successful if the mortal is near to death so we don’t know if some people figured this out or if Enkil and Akasha chose to pass on their ‘gift’ to people out of loneliness, but more vampires were created and spread throughout the world. In an attempt to rationalize what happened to them, Enkil and Akasha placed themselves within the world of myth and made up the story of Osiris and Isis. This went well for a few thousand years, until societies began to open up their temples to the sun god and let all the vamps burn to a crisp, leaving only a few places on Earth where vampires gods were left in peace. We learn that there have always been rogue vampires who don’t need no goddess and just want to have fun. But no matter what type of vampire they were, they all went crispy when Mother and Father were put out in the sun. As the story finally comes to a close, Marius is like, “I don’t believe this crap,” and storms out of the temple, laughed out by the Elder.
Chapter 11: As Marius lays in bed at night, he has to admit that the whole story may actually be true, but is still pissed because he wants to be an individual, not a host to a blood-thirsty demonic parasite. After getting drunk on blood and coming to terms with his destiny, Marius decides he has to see this Mother and Father and hide them in order to keep them (and thus all other vamps) safe forever. Conveniently, the Mother then appears to Marius, telling him to take her and the Father out of Egypt. The Mother leads Marius out into the desert where he finds a trap door and...you guessed it...another twisty staircase! At the bottom, Marius finally meets Akasha and Enkil. A burnt vamp suddenly appears out of nowhere and wants to put them back into their chamber, but Enkil and Akasha decide they’re going to move on their own which terrifies burnt vamp and makes Marius weep uncontrollably. Just to see what happens, Marius convinces burnt vamp to try and drink from Enkil, who responds by throwing him across the room. Marius feels bad so lets burnt vamp drink from him, and then tells him to get the eff out and not let anyone in to the crypt. Marius steals two mummy cases, puts Akasha and Enkil in them and temporarily buries them outside his house while he makes plans to flee Egypt. The Elder appears and it’s revealed that he was the keeper who put the Mother and Father out in the sun. Marius is like, “Don’t worry, bro. I got it from here,” but the Elder won’t let them go without a fight. The Elder is much stronger and a more experienced fighter, but Marius goes for the old eye sockets and gets some surprise back up from Akasha who crushes the Elder like a bug and lights him on fire. Sealing his fate as their guardian, Akasha allows Marius to drink from her.

Only ten chapters to go. If their intel is correct a trap is going to be laid. But is it accurate? Does it work? I hope you enjoy!
The next chapter will be out on Saturday.
Terran Space Story: The Lieutenant Saga
Academy Days First Previous Next

Chapter 119: Contact with the Enemy

3 Days later. March 18th, 2267. 02:44 Slip Space – CNS Waukesha Executive Conference Room
John walked into the conference room with a minute to spare. He looked rushed and harried to his senior staff and those that could view him through the video link. That wasn’t entirely untrue, he had just received a wealth of information in a debrief from the command team of this operation.
“Apologies for running it entirely too close. I just got off a call with Admiral Gallo of Second Fleet,” John said as he took his seat, “Our attack on the Paximus system drove the pirates into a frenzy. Mission accomplished at that end. Thirty-six attacks have occurred through our own and Mercantilist space. Overtures to the Alliance have not yielded much in the way of intelligence yet but our diplomats are still trying.”
Vanessa Davis, the captain of the CNS Pasto, jumped in as John took a drink, “Can you summarize the results of those attacks?”
“The pirates targeted lightly guarded facilities. In our space. We lost two stations on the frontier. Each pirate fleet lost between ten and forty percent of its attack fleet. We gave far better than we took,” John paused and looked at the room, “The pirates are badly bloodied. They are regrouping for a new push. It seems their divide-and-conquer plan won’t work for much longer. Especially now that our forces have dug into position more.”
“What’s the loss of life so far?” Oscar asked from on screen, “About four hundred Naval personnel and roughly four times that for civilian losses in our territories. Losses in Alliance and Mercantilist territories are rumored to be much higher.”
“Caught with their pants down?” Tessa said sarcastically.
“And flat-footed. Again, that is if our intelligence is accurate. Even Naval Intelligence isn’t confident of the reports that are coming out of Alliance territory. The disruptions in the channels used to funnel information to us are being felt now as many of those channels seem like they’ve been shut down violently,” John said.
“What’s the good news? You seem almost giddy,” Brady Cohen, the captain of the CNS Lagos asked.
“The Icarus was part of an attack that was repulsed in the Luyten system. Their attack only resulted in the loss of four smaller pirate vessels,” John paused for dramatic effect, “That fleet is heading here to the Tau Ceti system to get some revenge.”
Walter grinned, “Funny how that is our destination. What of additional reinforcements from the Navy?”
John grinned, “Weird, right? Twenty to thirty hours behind us. This means we are going to have to play a delaying fight to make time for those reinforcements. Also, the Tau Ceti’s solar militia will be temporarily conscripted by the Navy. They will be following my orders, not their planetary governor’s.”
“What’s the target there?” Vanessa asked.
“The shipyards in orbit around Tau Ceti Prime’s moon,” John said.
“How do you see things playing out?” Brady asked.
“Their fleet is made up of the Icarus and about twenty other ‘capital’ ships. I use the term loosely since their capital ships are old-ass cruisers. They have a single carrier in play too. The vast majority of their ships are corvettes and shuttles.”
John pressed a few buttons on the screen which displayed the contents of both the presumed pirate fleet along with the system’s militia. A moment later the militia’s ships were reorganized. Each was headed by one of the frigate captains in the task force.
“I’m creating four squadrons of ships as you can see here. Commanded by each of our four-frigate captains,” John paused, “Oscar, I haven’t ignored you but your role in this is to observe, utilize electronic warfare, and provide target priority for us.”
“Understood,” Oscar said as he nodded his head.
“Our cruisers are going to push into their capital ships at point-blank range and eliminate them,” John said, “The smaller ships will eliminate their chaff and provide an additional layer of missile defenses for the cruisers.”
“Woah, that’s a ballsy strategy. That gets us dangerously close to their guns,” Tessa said.
“It is, but if those larger ships are destroyed or put out of commission that will crush their morale,” John said as he leaned back in his chair, “If their morale is crushed then this alliance of theirs won’t last long. And the Icarus isn’t likely to be shooting at you if you’re dogfighting with their cruisers.”
“What happens if they have reinforcements that we aren’t aware of?” Brady asked, “Or if they have a reserve fleet that’s been unidentified or kept hidden?”
“Fighting retreat to the asteroid belt,” John said, “Then we commence gorilla-like warfare to delay the pirates and keep them focused on us in the system.”
The senior leaders of all ships spent the next hour and a half discussing the battle plan. The major addition was the fleshing out of any fighting retreat. John was guilty of a great many things, but losing battles wasn’t something he spent a ton of time thinking about. Cheating his way into winning a battle, on the other hand, was something he spent a lot of time thinking about.
The updated plan came together quite nicely. The small fleet would arrive in the Tau Ceti system within the next day and a half. About twelve hours ahead of the pirate fleet. If things went to plan then John felt comfortable, if not entirely confident, about decimating the fleet.
The question of them ultimately was could they kill the Icarus? That was unknown as of yet. He feared he still didn’t have enough firepower to put that ship down. But he was confident that he had enraged that crew once more.
​
2 Days later. March 20th, 2267. 04:12 Tau Ceti Prime – L2 Lagrange Point
Four squadrons of ships, each with a Confederate Frigate leading the charge, were converging on the shipyards above the moon. The Tau Ceti militia was very well equipped, all things considered. Multiple frigates were included in their fleets that were one or two generations old. Modern corvettes were a staple ship found in the fleets.
John and the other cruisers, including five from the militia fleet, had just fired their engines. Like the frigate squadrons, they were burning toward the shipyards. Their prey just arrived in the system.
“They have more ships than expected,” Willy said.
“Order all ships to launch drones. Hold about ten percent back for added point defenses,” John said, “Walter, your recommendation?”
“I’d recommend all ships launch two to three waves of homing-multi-missiles. Get them on their back foot using up their defensive weapons,” Walter said.
“Barbara, all ahead flank. Tessa, contact the fleet. Each ship is to fire three waves of two multi-missiles. Coordinate targets within each squadron. Big ships are to open fire with long-range weapons the moment they have range. The focus is on the Icarus’ escort ships.”
“Letting them know, sir,” Tessa said from the communications terminal.
“Got any ideas on how to get rid of that carrier?” Ingrid asked, “That’s the ship that’s got me worried.”
“Tessa, contact the Basilone, I want them to focus all their electronic attacks on the Icarus. With any luck, we’re going to stunt her ability to participate in the initial part of the battle.”
“Understood.”
“The fleet has responded in the affirmative. They stand ready for your order to fire,” Tessa said.
“Fire the first wave. Forty-five-second delay for the second and third waves,” John said, “Barbara, adjust course to two-two-five, down ten degrees.”
“Aye aye.”
“Ahh, that ol’ nugget,” Walter said from the rear of the bridge, “Training the forward railguns on the carrier.”
“Fire at will my man,” John said calmly, “If you have a firing solution for the Icarus with the other guns fire them at her. But make sure you have two torpedoes loaded for that fat sonofabitch.”
The first wave of missiles screamed through the void at the pirates. The third wave was fired roughly at the time the first wave reached the appropriate distance from the pirate ships to launch their payloads. Three hundred smaller missiles were fired out in all directions from each missile.
The mother missile had programmed targets into each one. It, like its offspring, continued to scream through the void at its targets. A hellacious, and impressive, amount of anti-missile fire was given off by the pirate fleet. Their defensive weapon systems eliminated an impressive number of missiles.
But they didn’t eliminate all of them, even with the Icarus’ upgrades dozens of missiles impacted against the kinetic shielding. The smaller ships held their own, but those diminutive missiles were successful in impacting numerous pirate ships. Thankfully, from the pirate’s perspective, those small missiles could only kill smaller ships if a fair amount of luck were involved with where it struck its target. It was a rare occurrence for only one of these missiles to not only strike their target but kill it.
Five pirate vessels succumbed to the first wave of missiles, with each requiring multiple impacts to end them. None were larger than a shuttle that suffered battle-ending damage. That changed after the second wave of missiles found their targets. Nothing larger than a corvette was destroyed, but more and more ships had given up their ghost. The third wave ripped through the fleet, virtually every ship was now bearing recent scars. Two dozen more ships died in the cold expanse of space.
Railgun rounds and lance fire were now being unleashed upon the pirates. Their fleet had been slapped and was being pushed back. That it was happening as quickly as it did surprise John. Something didn’t feel right.
“Taking evasive actions,” Barbara said, “That is a hell of a lot of return fire.”
“Thirty-two enemy ships are now dead,” Willy said, “That first wave of rail fire was punishing. But they outnumber us four-to-one still.”
John pressed a button on his seat’s armrest, “Commander Buckley, launch the first wave of fighter bombers. Have them burn to the station for rearmament.”
The speakers then turned on briefly, “Launcher first wave, we’ll have the second wave queue up for you.”
“Targeting the Icarus so soon?” Ingrid asked.
“Distance to that carrier?” John asked.
“Twenty-five thousand kilometers and closing fast,” Willy said.
“Railgun fire is wearing down their forward defenses,” Walter said, “Suggest we have load four multi-missiles with scatter rockets.”
John instantly knew what Walter wanted to do and nodded, “Do it.”
“Dare I ask what they are going to do?” Ingrid asked quietly.
“With any luck, they will confuse the carrier’s anti-missile systems, or make them preoccupied and they ignore the pair of torpedoes we are going to deliver to them at danger close range.”
“Ahh, yes, that would make great tactical sense,” Ingrid said.
“Ugley reports a glancing blow from the Icarus’s main guns,” Tessa said, “They can still fight though.”
John nodded. He couldn’t know for sure how many friendly ships were going to be lost. The Icarus was no slouch of an opponent. They were going to lose friends that day. But who would it be?
The Waukesha continued to close the distance to the enemy carrier. As Walter said, the forward defensive systems were failing due to the withering amount of railgun fire. Their rounds were already impacting their armor plates. Though none had been compromised yet since the kinetic shields were still holding on enough to arrest the momentum from incoming rounds.
The next volley changed all of that. Dozens of kinetic and electromagnetic shielding arrays blew out at the same time. The four forward rail turrets continued to volley fire and punish the enemy carrier. Armor plates were being brutalized across the front face of the enemy ship. Some rail rounds found their way into the hangar that partially faced them.
“Frigate squadrons are annihilating the enemy,” Willy said, “Forty percent of their support ships are out of commission.”
“Have we suffered any losses?” John inquired.
“The militia has, but none of the…”
The Waukesha was then rocked by a pair of heavy and loud impacts. Time stood still for the briefest of moments. John stared intently at the screen ahead of them. Their primary drive cone was struck, which was very worrying. The other round was a cruise missile that detonated right at the corner of the starboard hangar.
“Everything’s a-ok captain,” Marty said from engineering, “Just some scoring. The drive cone damage is going to affect our maneuverability a bit. If we take any more damage to it then I’m jettisoning it though.”
John’s brow raised as questioned his engineer, “Not to be that guy chief, but…”
“Secondary drive cones become our main output. It’s the six smaller cones around the big one. They aren’t as good, but as long as you don’t bleed off too much momentum, we should be good.”
“Easier said than done,” Barbara said as she looked back and John.
“Enhance our evasive maneuvers,” John said to his chief helmsmen, “I’d prefer to avoid being killed today. ETA to fun time on the carrier?”
“Thirty seconds.”
The Waukesha continued to scream toward her target. Railguns continued to volley fire. More and more armor plates across the bow of the old, yet very large, carrier were compromised. Dozens of volleys were also fired at the Icarus. Walter, and his targeting VI, had done an excellent job of multitasking.
While no overt damage had been dealt to the Icarus. Her kinetic shields were already degraded. Pot shots were being taken at her from every angle by dozens of Confederate ships. Her shields held, but they weren’t infallible. Those shields would yield some time, though it was a fair question to ask when precisely that would happen. None knew.
Moments before the Waukesha reached point-blank torpedo range, two cruisers that flanked the Icarus exploded suddenly. Ironically, the two ships were named Hammer and Anvil. They had been close allies to the Icarus and flew with the large pirate battleship on numerous sorties over the years. Both were atomized in bright blue balls of plasma.
“In range now,” Willy said from the rear of the bridge.
“Fire, Barbara, pull up as hard as you can. All weapons on the Icarus, blast her ass with everything we’ve got!” John shouted excitedly.
Two torpedoes were launched from their forward launchers. A dozen cruise missiles and multi-missiles were also fired from her other launchers. The ship’s maneuvering thrusters were fired and pushed well beyond their safety limits. This radical course adjustment was thought to be necessary if the torpedoes caused a fusion explosion in their target.
Unfortunately, the radical evasive maneuver was unneeded. Both torpedoes struck and penetrated deep within the mammoth ship. But neither struck the core or set off a lucky, or crazy, secondary explosion that led to a massive fusion reaction. Instead, the power simply shut off after two large explosions were registered internally to the carrier.
Two giant bulges in the exterior armor plates could be seen. Ironic in a way that this old ship resisted such a large internal explosion. Unfortunately, for such rare craftsmanship, the blast had to go somewhere, and as the hull plating prevented the explosion from radiating out into the void, the explosion tore through the interior of the ship.
What safety measures that were engaged, such as closing bulkheads, were insufficient for the magnitude of the blast? The hull survived, as a matter of speaking, but nothing internally did. Everything inside the ship was pulverized and beaten to a pulp. The emergency shutdown procedures successfully shut off the core before bad things could happen to it. If the raging fires didn’t consume the crew or the blast’s shockwaves didn’t get the crew, the complete destruction of all breathable atmospheres would end what remained of the crew.
“SHIP KILL!” Walter shouted.
“Focus on our target,” John shouted over his excited weapons officer, “All guns on their turrets, we need to take that ring out!”
One more pirate cruiser took a brutal rail round that sheared off every armor plate on her port side. She was leaking atmosphere and it looked like her spine had been bent towards the port side. While the round fired from the Ugley would get credit for the kill, the pirate's attempt at firing their railgun ultimately caused a cascade of explosions that ended its life.
“Tessa, contact all of the cruisers, we need a full salvo of micro missiles at the Icarus,” John said.
Just then the Waukesha once again shuddered mightily. Thanks to a combination of angle and speed her kinetic shields were able to deflect the rail round fired by the Icarus. Their port side’s shielding arrays were noticeably weaker. The next shot would likely penetrate them.”
“Barb, we need…”
“I see it and already adjusted our course. Giving her our starboard side once I roll over.”
The Waukesha deftly rolled over gently in space and adjusted course to circle its current most hated enemy. Laser batteries, lances, and railguns all fired at the Icarus. Some rounds were impacted on its heavy armor, doing nothing but superficial damage at this point.
But given enough time, the papercuts they were giving their large adversary would add up. While not as impressive as a knockout punch, bleeding to death an opponent also resulted in a win. Though that would come at a cost as the fight would last considerably longer.
Barbara adjusted course once again causing the Waukesha to fly farther away from the Icarus. The timing was impeccable. Just as the Waukesha began to grow distance between the two ships the missiles came in. Thousands of rockets and guided mini munitions slammed across the starboard side. Electromagnet and Kinetic shields flared out of life. It would be hours before they could be restored to full use.
“Walter, all rails on that ring.”
The old veteran of the weapons console was a step ahead of John. As Barbara rolled the Waukesha back into position to close the gap, Walter was able to get six turrets firing. All lances were firing at the enemy turrets.
One was slowly rotating to point at the Waukesha. One lance shot scored a hole-in-one of sorts and impacted several meters above the breach. In doing so it mangled the magnetic coils in the large barrel. A moment later the Icarus fired. Thanks to their shot being guided by the hand of God the round struck the obstruction and caused an enormous explosion within the barrel.
The whole turret sheared off from its mount. A small amount of atmosphere leaked before being sealed off. The Waukesha was the first to draw blood. But that wasn’t all.
Multiple cruise missiles were fired by not only the Waukesha but the other cruisers too. One massive explosion after another ripped across the Icarus’ hull. Deep crater marks could be seen in a dozen armor plates. Her armor was compromised. The fleet had turned the impossible into a possibility.
Better yet, the Waukesha’s lightning focus on her enemy’s turret ring worked. They had shattered it in three locations. The enemy’s primary guns powered down. The biggest threat from the big ship was no more. But that didn’t stop John and his allies from targeting the turrets and destroying each and every last one.
The battle had turned to favor the Confederates. But it was not over, not yet. The Icarus still drew breath. So long as she did, she was a threat. It was a threat that they were desperate to end, once and for all.
“Open a line to all ships,” John said, “Press the attack, all ships fire their heaviest ordinance at the Icarus!”

Hello, I know this is going to sound absolutely insane but I believe I have an extraterrestrial stalking my home. I moved here with my fiancé and my roommate about a month ago (Ft Lauderdale if that means anything) And we hear strange things, footsteps, whistles, chirps, all this in the middle of the night. My roommate goes to sleep and I do some late night shaving when I see big reflective eyes looking at me through my bathroom window. I run to his bedroom to retrieve one of our firearms and as does my roommate considering I woke him up in the process. We do a sweep of the outside of the house and see nothing so we go back inside, we hear it climb onto the roof, run around the house, all within about a minute, it repeats this process very quickly. He checks his bedroom window and this creature, very tall, at least 7 foot with a very round head and a lanky body is standing in the corner area of our house, it then blurs over and disappears in an instant. It doesn't match any description of any alien I've heard of. It reeks of alcohol and it smells kinda funky, not to mention it whispers gibberish in a perfect androgynous voice. We hear mechanical whirring and our house shakes for about 45 minutes before things go quiet and we stand watch until morning. My fiancés family member had a similar experience when he was a child and he describes it as being a midnight blue color and standing over 8 foot tall, being able to phase directly indoors and when light reflects off it, it turns a silver grey color. Me and my roommate both had a symbol that appeared when we would blink, and without a doubt we both saw the same symbol. We theww up, had horrible headaches and our phones/wifi lost all signal until the morning. Are there any answers i could get from this community? If not point me in the direction of some community that can. I am afraid for my fiancés safety as she means the world to me and I don't want to let anything happen to her. Thank you for your time. (If it means anything we are all between the ages of 18-20)
Edit: The original post was for aliens but it wouldn't allow me to post it. Since we're dealing with the possibility of cryptids I'd like to add that I have been visited by skynwlkers and I am native. We live right next to a graveyard and recently there have been bent bars and broken fences that appear like something was trying to get out. All the fence and gate is made of iron bars might I add, thank you.

A special thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for the fantastical universe.
Have a really long chapter!
Forgot to say it has been a while. Hope you're all doing well!
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Memory transcription subject: Jaxton, son of a humble sheep farmer
Date [standardized human time]: October 11th, 2136
If someone asked me years ago how many people would travel the globe just to see me. My answer would have been three; my father, my mother, and Dex Mason. My mother and father would have been simply obligated to do so, as I was their son, and I would have done the same thing. Dex was my best friend when I went to middle school in America, and he stayed my best friend when I went back to Wales, going back to Atlanta for many vacations.
What can I say? He had a nice collection of guns, and his general cheerful attitude made many people optimistic, so a day on the range with him led to the both of us being happier.
Then you add in Dex’s older and younger brothers, our mutual friend John Dillinger, and then you have a recipe for a fun time; guns, video games, hiking, and the occasional sheep herding if they ever come to my home: It’s a blast!
An alien porcupine though… I honestly never expected that I would ever in my honest-to-God lifetime, have such an impact on someone before. We barely knew each other for even a few minutes, yet she to my knowledge was merely some sad Gojid that was struggling with depression and loss. All I did was walk in and comfort her, or well, that’s how I saw it.
I still feel like an absolute idiot for forgetting about what I told her. It wasn’t a promise, but based on the implication of how I said it. It may as well have been a declaration to see the girl a few hours later, or however long it took her to get ready.
Now, speaking of Barlim, it’s been a few minutes since she arrived at my doorway at the most unexpected of times. I had her sitting in our living room on our couch. The Gojid, or Gojya, that I had to have explained to me, had her arms wrapped around one of our decorative pillows. She was giving squeezes every few seconds depending on how she felt, and if she was really giving it a firm squeeze, I’d reach over and stroke the top of her head. Barlim seemed to relax every time I did this.
“You holding up better?” Barlim appeared to be holding up better: No longer sobbing out tears from her eyes, or having mucus running from her nostrils.
She merely sniffed weakly for a second, nuzzling into my hand. If I had to admit, I had no idea if I was performing some massive social taboo by patting her like an animal, but if she wasn’t going to complain, neither was I. I mean, I already poked myself twice more! “I’m feeling much better. Sorry for intruding…”
“Don’t be,” I said while holding back a small laugh. “Are you feeling better enough to talk now?” Barlim’s ears flicked in response, and then she nodded in response upon realizing I didn’t know what those ear flicks meant. “Good.”
“Hey, I would just like to apologize for how I acted,” my mother started before I had the chance to speak. “It’s just that I’ve seen on the news and read of murderous xenophobic aliens…-”
“It’s fine,” Barlim let out the most adorable-sounding chittering noise I have ever heard. It sounded as if a porcupine was, well, laughing! “I would not have reacted much differently… Three days ago?” At least she could make fun of herself for how she acted. Her ears gave a few flicks, gesturing towards amusement or self-depreciation if I had to guess. They burned bright blue.
My father took a minute to stand up and walk over to Barlim. She only fidgeted a little bit, but not much when he reached out to her with one hand. “Jameson, again, it’s been pleasant to meet you so far.” The man’s hand hung in the air for several seconds. Barlim eyeing it up with what had to be a quizzical expression. “You’re supposed to grab it and firmly shake it,” my father eventually grunted.
“Oh!” That seemed to snap Barlim out of her stupor. She reached forward in kind with one paw, clasping her surprisingly big paw around my father’s hand, which he shook. The Gojid seemed to have a fair understanding of the action after a few seconds, at which point the handshake ended and my father returned to his seat.
A brief, quiet pause occupied the four of us before there was more knocking at the front door. “Oh, uh, that may be the rest of my friends. I sort of forgot about them when I realized we were so close.” The tips of Barlim’s ears turned a delicate shade of blue. She started to get up, but with a firm palm on the top of her head, I held her down, gently.
“You traveled a long way. Let me get the door,” I state and get up from the couch. My knees and back stretch, giving a satisfactory series of pops before I work my way to the front door. I decide against grabbing the mask, assuming that Barlim’s friends have gotten quite used to the infamous human binocular stare. When I open it, I see a rather eclectic group of individuals, some familiar and some not.
“Arwen, Trivi, Tova, and I take it Barlim’s friends.” Arwen and Trivi issue some friendly waves. Tova has her forearms clasped around Arwen’s neck from behind, jaw resting on the redhead’s shoulders. Her eyes are puffy and orange. It was pretty easy to assume what she had been going through. Meanwhile, the other three flick their ears and tails in a way that was most likely a greeting, but that was just me making an inference based on this being our first interaction, and them not giving waves in greeting.
I really need to learn Gojid and Venlil body language.
“Just delivering the rest of that one Gojid’s friends.” Arwen’s tone was the general cheerful tone it always was. She briefly stepped back from the door and swung an arm to the side, pointing to the three aliens behind her, doing so while under the weight of Tova.
“Barlim,” one of the Gojid said to Arwen. “My name is Pragh,” she then pointed over to another Gojid, “That’s Tack, and,” she indicated to the final Gojid, “That is Telg.” Again, the other two Gojid gave very similar flicks of the ears when they glanced at me with one of their eyes. “I take it you’re Jaxton?”
I couldn’t resist the urge to curl my lips upwards in a smile. The three Gojid didn’t flinch when I exposed my teeth, for which I was grateful. I really didn’t feel like bowing to more people than I needed to at the moment, having not gotten a particularly great amount of sleep last night was not a wise idea. “You’d be correct. It seems I’m the popular man of the hour. What can I do for you all?”
“Well, Tack and I were simply following Barlim, so we were going to stay with her until the UN or whoever really controls the whole Gojid refugee camp situation comes looking for us-”
I cut off Pragh with an amused tone. “So let me get this straight. You wanna come and mooch off my family for a bit because you have nowhere to stay at the moment?” I hold my tongue for just the slightest second, letting Gojid raise up her paws defensively. Even Arwen’s eyes widen briefly at what I just said.
“That’s not-” Pragh doesn’t speak for long before I dismissively wave my hand.
“I’m joking, yes, I’m sure my parents will allow you to stay for a bit, but you’ll have to clean up after yourselves, and all that stuff.” I lean up against the doorframe. “Ok though, jokes aside, what do you all want?”
Pragh rubbed her paws over her blue ears. “Yes, well, you did sort of hit one of them. I will admit, there was very little planning other than we’re going to Wales on our part. You don’t have to worry about Telg though.”
“I scored myself a date! Hah!~ So, I will be going back to Georgia in about an hour or two.” The Gojid paused, popped open one of the pockets on his hoodie, and took a peek inside at a slip of paper he pulled out. “Two hours, yeah, I have about an hour to spend here. So you and Tack are going to stay here?”
Pragh nodded to Telg’s words. “Yep, someone has to make sure Barlim continues to be a responsible Gojid. Also, I still have more research to do over the internet-”
“Ah yes, research, Pragh, research, am I right?~”
“No! Not that! I’m not going to be looking up that!”
The two male Gojid couldn’t help but hold back giggles and chitters, making me feel as if I was missing some sort of- Oh. The second it clicked for me, I just let out a long, slow sigh. “Please, let me just say that humanity is probably not whatever you found. Factory farms are a thing of the past.” Apparently, I was wrong, for the other two Gojid started laughing more uproariously, “Ok, I’m wrong it seems…” The gears proceeds to click a second time after realizing it was something a lot more bawdy than damning. I opened my mouth to say something but quickly realized that I wouldn’t have anything to follow up on if one of them decided to make any sort of accusation, so I quickly shut my plan to speak about that down. “How about you all just come inside now? Your friend Barlim already came by, and I’m pretty sure you all would like a break from your adventure.”
“Actually, Trvi and I were going to take Tova to my home. Might take her to the hospital if Quilix has calmed down. God, I wished they transported him to Ysbyty Gwynedd, but no. He had a freakout and had to be moved to London.”
“It’s all my fault…” The dark venlil whined.
Arwen’s hand managed to work its way between Tova’s ears, giving a few scritches. Scritches that Tova nuzzled into. “Come on you big, big venlil. I know you’re upset. Just, hang in there for a little while longer. I’m sure Quilix will come around. Let’s take you home, see ya Jaxton!” Arwen waved and carried the venlil toward the parked taxi in front of my house. Well, carried was a generous term for half-carry/half-assisted in guiding toward the car.
Trivi followed seconds later, giving his own bye and wave. “Tell your mother and father I said hi, see you tomorrow!” And with that, the blonde venlil scampered off, following after his human lover.
This left me with the three other hedgehog-looking aliens standing awkwardly in front of my door. They looked amongst themselves, thinking about saying something.
Wait, someone’s missing…
“Arf! Arf!”
The three Gojid who looked like they were about to say something all jumped about a foot in the air when Lacey came bounding through them, running straight past me into my home. “Oh, Lacey! Welcome ho- Oh, and ignored.” I shake my head upon hearing the following oof that comes from my father. Lacey must’ve claimed my father’s lap as her seat. “Well, if you want to come inside and meet the rest of my family. Come right on in.”
The next few minutes are filled with more pleasantries being exchanged. The Gojid all take their place on the couch, somehow managing to fit four of them on a couch meant for three. I end up choosing to stand by my father, who gently strokes Lacey across her back. The border collie panting jovially, looking back and forth between us and our alien guest, giving the occasional bark to beg for more attention.
The Gojid guests seem calm for the most part, sitting on that couch, but it is quite clear that the dog makes them uncomfortable since they flinch every time Lacey either makes a noise or stares at them with those heterochromatic eyes. “Not a fan of dogs, are you?” My father breaks the silence once it starts up again.
“I didn’t like…” Pragh started but stopped seconds later. “Listen, I believe you know why most Federation species don’t like humans, right?” Pragh’s words earned an affirmative grunt from my father. My mother and I nodded too. “Well, you’re all sapient and in control of your hunting instincts…” I raised my eyebrow at that but chose to say nothing. “That dog though-”
My father raised a hand, telling Praph to stop speaking for a moment. “I am going to have to stop you right there. Firstly, humans don’t, or we believe don’t have hunting instincts, and secondly, Lacey is a good girl that has harmed no person before, human or alien. I can assure you, as well as Quilix, Trivi, and Tova, that Lacey wouldn’t harm any of you, your pups, or anything else you will be worried about.”
Those few calmly spoken, but sternly voiced words are enough to calm the four Gojid down a fair amount. While I can’t see their muscles under their fur all that well, I can safely assume that their muscles grew lax at such information. Maybe we can do more to ease them around the dog while they’re here?
With an idea springing to mind, I take a few steps over to our old wooden hall tree. It is adorned with a few coats and hats, but what I am interested in is blue colored, six feet long rope of dog leash. The second it makes the lightest noise, Lacey is bolting toward me. “Eistedd!” The dog swiftly responds to the command: Hind quarters hitting the ground the second the word leaves my lips. I reach down and stroke the top of the dog’s head with one hand, getting a jovial arf out of her. “Merch dda, merch dda.~” I give the dog’s head a little bit more tender love with my palm and fingers before attaching the leash.
“Cefn.” I keep my voice low, coaxing Lacey into walking toward the couch.
The four Gojid, three of which have probably spent some time outside with the dog, all had a similar reaction when the dog came over: Paws came up off the ground, retracting safely onto the cushions above. It wasn’t really out of the border collie’s reach, but it was clearly instinctual-driven or propaganda-driven fear. “No need to be afraid, she won’t bite you - eistedd.” True to my words, Lacey gets close, sniffing along the edge of the sofa, but not jumping up onto the furniture.
“I see you’ve been practicing, Jaxton. You showing off for the guest?” My dad jokes.
“Hey, I don’t really get a good chance to speak Welsh. Dam- Darn it, really should’ve paid more attention in school. Might go get some lessons so I’m not part of the ten percent that can’t speak it. All I can do is shepherd a dog around, ask for the bathroom, a beer, where am I, and a few other things.” It’s hard not to let out a disappointed sigh. “I need to get off my backside and stop being so lazy.” I pause for one small moment. “And that probably translated for all of them to their native tongue. Doesn’t matter if I say it in English, Welsh, or honestly, Mandarin.”
My old man grins and laughs, leaning his back into the old rocking chair he claimed. My attention returns back to the dog, the fearful porcupine, and three scared hedgehogs.
The first one to reach out if I recall his name is Tack. The Gojid’s claws lightly brush the top of Lacey’s head in a tepid fashion. The dog stares back up at the curious paw; not growling, barking, yipping, biting, or making any sort of fuss that could freak out the apprehensive Gojid. Slowly, Lacey’s tail beings to wag as the curious touching continues for a few seconds. “Is that normal?”
“Mhm… Yes, dogs’ tails wag when they are happy. If she was really happy, she’d jump on you and start licking your face.”
The four Gojid recoiled with what looked like disgust: The thought of a predator’s maw all over their face, tasting them as if they were her next meal was probably what was coursing through their minds. “I think… That’s something I wouldn’t like from a non-sapient creature.” Telg adds in.
He says he doesn’t want it from a non-sapient, but what about a sapient? Oh, what wonderful thoughts this one has. I internally joked.
Both my father and mother let out an audible cough at Telg’s… Well, it could’ve been an indecent statement, or maybe licking was a sign of greeting? There was no way for me to know with my lack of knowledge of Gojid customs.
God damn; Gojid customs, language, body language, and Welsh! That was leaving out Venlil ear and tail signals as well! Too much to learn.
With a gentle nudge, I guide Lacey down the bottom of the couch, letting each Gojid get about a minute or two of bonding time with the goodest of girls. It’s only been a few minutes, but the four could be easily seen relaxing: Tack and Telg are both confident enough to let their paws touch the floor again.
From fearful of anything that ate meat their entire life to sort of fearfully allowing a dog to sniff them, or them to touch a dog, must be leaps and bounds beyond possibility months ago.
“So, you all more comfortable around dogs?”
I get a non-varied amount of reactions: All of them positive to a minor degree, but none are negative or super positive. “Good.”
With such a positive, or well, lacking in a negative reaction from our alien guests. I reach down and unhook the canine’s restraint. No one flinches and Lacey continues to sit for about another few seconds before lazily pacing around the front of the couch, sniffing at paws for some more time before retreating back beside my father’s feet.
“So… What’s the history between humans and dogs?” Pragh was the one that shot this question. One is no doubt born from the fact that we probably allowed a non-sapient predator into our home.
Well, if I was using their logic, of course: I wouldn’t be surprised if it came from ‘Wouldn’t predators eliminate the competition?’ if I had to guess.
“The history involving our canine companions is long and complex.” I reach behind my head to adust my blonde ponytail, tightening up the black band to keep my hair from falling in front of my face. “Most domesticated dogs you’ll see; German shepherds, border collies, Australian shepherds, golden retrievers, and on and on the list goes. I believe there are hundreds of breeds, but that is another tangent we can go on another date. What you’re more interested in is the history, as you have asked.”
I took a few steps around toward the front of the couch, using this new position to project my voice onto my alien audience. My parents had already heard this story a few times when they spoke with one of our dog breeders.
“It all started roughly speaking, thirty-thousand years ago.” I paused, totally for dramatic effect, but to also allow the Gojid to digest this fair-sized crumb of information. “Our competitor, an antagonizing species of persistent pack predators with a strong social bond, the wolf, would often invade human territories, and vice versa. You see, humans and wolves aren’t too dissimilar. We’re both highly social species, pursuit pack predators as I have heard, emotionally intelligent, highly adaptive, strong parental connections, and good communication skills. I can go into specific details another time, but those are some of the big traits we share. I’d say that the large preference for having a social structure coupled with good communication skills on both sides were the two assets that helped the most. Emotional intelligence and actual intelligence would probably be third and fourth. Dogs and wolves can be pretty smart.”
I take a moment again, allowing my audience to follow along with what I am saying, waiting to see if any of them have a question. “So due to these similarities, humans and these wolves cross species’ barriers?” The bipedal porcupine opined.
I nod to Barlim’s question. “Very close, but not quite.” I take a moment to swing a pointing finger down to Lacey. “I mean, as much as I love Lacey. I don’t see a dog diplomat coming through any time soon to argue for their sapience let alone an alliance.” I then straighten my posture back up, holding back a small laugh by letting a grin stretch across my lips. “It was more along the lines of wolves were desperate for food, and they’d feed off the scraps we humans left behind. This would go on for some time with the braver or more docile canines being allowed to slowly integrate with human society.”
“But they’re eating your scraps and food, but what do they do for you? Other than herd sheep? It just seems like your competition is swooping your food from under your nose, but… You’re not complaining at all.” Pragh was the one to ask that question.
Called it!
“These proto-dogs had many purposes! Just look at Lacey and you can probably see what she has that is superior to a human. Tell me what traits you can see.”
I give the four Gojid some time to look over the dog. They eventually look like they all have something to say, so I slide down the line of them; Pragh, Telg, Tack, and then finally Barlim.
“A better sense of smell to hunt for prey you can’t see?” Pragh opined.“Better hearing for locating threats?” Telg questioned.
“Sharp teeth and claws for fighting off other humans.” Tack would state rather confidently.
“To form an emotional connection with and to not feel lonely?” Barlim tilted her head to the side, giving the dog another look.
I let them stew over their answers for about thirty seconds to discuss amongst themselves. Needless to say, I was kind of shocked, but also not by Barlim’s answer. Maybe my time spent with her gave me some subconscious understanding of her mentality? The other Gojid all looked at her, so I assume her different answer probably made something click amongst all of them.
“Well, to answer your questions; yes, yes, yes, and yes. You’re all correct. Some may say that the first three are probably the priority.” This statement earns a chitter from the four Gojid occupying the couch. “But I like to have hope for that last one: When you’re by yourself. The world is a scary place after all. It’s best not to be alone. I believe you all have herds? Well, we humans have families, tribes, or nations, depending on how deep you wish to look into it, and yes, dogs can be a part of a human family. Family cares not from where the blood comes.”
“Quick question and not to side-track the conversation too far, but I was told by my date that humans dislike being called predators. Is that true here too, or was that a dialect or cultural thing?” Telg was the one throwing this question.
“It is that way here too. When humans refer to other humans as predators, it is because that other human is a gross pervert that does horrific, deviant, and sexual things toward other people, animals, or in this case now that aliens exist, aliens, so I would refrain from calling humans predators unless you personally know the individual and they are ok with it. That being said, humans define predator as more of a relationship adjective when between animals. A deer is a predator to plants as a wolf is a predator to a deer. It is the relationship of consumption rather than dietary traits.” I finish off my statement with a nod.
“Well… If you don’t mind me referring you to as a predator for one statement…” Telg droned on.
I take a brief glance over toward my parents. My dad gives me a nonchalant shrug. My gaze returns back to Telg. “Go ahead and shoot your question or statement at me.”
The four Gojid look stunned for a moment, off-put by something I said-
Oh, don’t tell me ‘shoot’ was predatory… Probably was.
“Just… throw out your question.”
“It was more of a statement, actually, but anyways. Family cares not from where the blood comes, has to be one of the most herd-like statement I have heard from a predator.”
Did he really just say that?
He really did, but I can’t fault him. From his point of view, he’s been spun so many times that up is down, and left is right.
I shake my head, lowering it. A small chuckle slipping from between my lips. I could even hear my mother and father laughing behind me a few seconds later.
“Was what I said really that funny?”
“No, just the logic behind it is kinda funny. Like I said, humans don’t normally refer to ourselves as predators, and this whole alien thing is kind of new to me.” My words carried upon by a light tone earns some laughs as well from our Gojid guests.
I clap my hands together, signaling the end of our little tangent. “Now, if I may resume my, if I do say so myself, informative explanation… The proto-dogs seamlessly integrated into our small tribes at the time; they could track threats and prey miles before we were even aware of them, they could hear the smallest sounds and alert us of their dangers. Moreover, their sharp teeth and claws served as deterrents against other threats such as large carnivores, food-stealing rodents, or hostile human forces. Additionally, their companionship provided solace to lonely humans. As you can see,” I pointed back to Lacey, who was having her back rubbed by my father’s sock-covered foot, “Lacey seems to be enjoying herself quite nicely, but so is my father. In short, interacting with dogs triggers the release of feel-good chemicals in both human and canine brains. Activities such as petting, snuggling, and playing contribute to this positive bond."
Again, I pause, giving everyone some time to follow along. “Thus, they’d impact our evolution and vice versa: Humans that had dogs in their tribes were more successful than tribes without dogs. Humans that bonded more effectively with their canine companions would get even farther. As millennia went by, humans would get better at reading dog expressions, and dogs would get better at reading human expressions.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I typed into it for a bit until an old photo of a wolf showed up. I turned my phone’s screen toward the four Gojid. “Here you can see a wolf. They aren’t extinct due to some wildlife restoration efforts, but we had a few close calls. Wolves are extinct in the UK and Ireland as of now, but not in North America, Europe, or Asia. What you see before you are what thirty-thousand years of evolution has done to us.”
Based on the look that the Gojid were giving me. I would guess it was along the lines of wow.
“Now, before you start asking more questions. I should let you know that humanity has not only domesticated one carnivorous species, but a few others as well; some birds of prey like falcons, felines, and mustelidae such as ferrets. Meanwhile, on the herbivorous side, we have horses, elephants, rabbits, and so on. Yeah, it’s quite a long list. Means more animals for us to pet and touch. Humans can bond with just about anything, even non-living things, but that’s a story for another time.”.
I perform a small stretch, feeling my back pop. A small break in the monotony of speaking for so long.
“Now, to go back to the human-dog bond. I should remind myself to tell you the story of Gelert. It’s quite a sad story, but bear with me for just a moment.”
I clear my throat, getting ready to speak out an old Welsh folklore myth.
“A long time ago, a prince of North Wales by the name of Llywelyn went out hunting without his trusty dog, Gelert. He’d return home later that day to see Gelert, covered in blood, jovially returning to him. This freaked out the prince, who rushed to his son’s crib, finding it knocked over and messy with blood. He feared that the dog had killed his son and immediately plunged his sword into the dog’s side.” The four Gojid wince at the description, having just been told of the forged bond I have described moments ago. “The dog’s pained cry heralds the cry of the prince’s infant son, who lay on the other side, protected from a slain wolf. Gelert had valiant fought to protect Llywelyn’s son from the wolf, and in so was rewarded with a blade through its heart! A tragic tale to discourage impulsive thoughts and rash rushes to judgment. It was said that the prince buried Gelert and never smiled again.”
I never considered myself a great storyteller, but somehow I managed to get the four Gojid all teary-eyed. Barlim was rubbing at her eyes once again, and so was Tack too.
“H-how could he have done that to the dog..?” Barlim’s meek voice trailed off.
“Well, as said, Llywelyn thought Gelert killed his son. It was a rash decision. This moral folklore is supposed to warn against such tragedies, speaking of which, isn’t there an extermination fleet heading this way?”
While I may have been speaking for so long, having taken all our attention away from the potential destruction of Earth, or the general mopey attitude that came from meeting Tova. It probably was wise to bring up the fact that armageddon was on its way to Earth.
The four Gojid just sort of looked down sheepishly at the ground or flicked their ears in a way that probably meant the same thing. I didn’t really mean to put them on the spot like that, considering it was some of their former allies committing this attack, but I guess that’s just how the cookie crumbles sometimes.
“I think I can speak for all of us here that we don’t-” Telg was interrupted by my father.
“We don’t blame you, or at least I can attest to myself, my son, and my wife over here. One day, assuming we survive this looming catastrophe. There will be regret, followed by hope, and then love and compassion once again. Though, I don’t think that’s what my son was hinting toward, more over the fact that your allies are about to make a rash decision they don’t understand. Probably one you would have made years ago, but that doesn’t really matter here, or there. We live in the now, and I think it’s time we started stocking up on some goods for our cellar. Well, we got goods actually, and a couple of guns too, but nothing fancy like the Americans and all their machine guns. A .30-30 lever action, an old .44 revolver, a twelve gauge shotgun, and a .22 hunting rifle. Nothing fancy,” he shrugs and grunts. “I’m more worried about my sheep. The best we can do is pray they don’t shoot the barn.”
There’s a brief silence as the seven of us come down from the long monologue that was dispersed between moments of questionnaires. I rub one of my eyes, stretching my jaw open wide in a hand-covered yawn.
How long have by been talking?
“Sprak! I gotta go or I am going to miss my flight!” Telg clamors, quickly hopping off the couch. He quickly taps at his phone with his claws, making his way toward the front door. “See you guys later, and thanks for letting us stay! Yes, I know how to call a taxi!” He opens the door and bolts outside. At least had the manners to close it back without slamming it.
This left us with three Gojid!
“Well,” my mother stood up from her chair. “I’m certain you’re all hungry after such a long adventure, and Telg is probably too, but he’s gone already. Let me see if I can make you all something to eat…” She hesitates for a second before continuing. “Nothing with meat or animal products in it. Just vegetables and fruit,” she iterates before walking off to the kitchen, leaving my father and I with the three Gojid.
You know, that leaves one important question that’s been on my mind. One that I had asked Barlim, but have been quickly distracted by her onslaught of sudden tears due to my forgetful nature. “A quick question if I may have your attention.”
The three Gojid turned their attention toward me, looking at me as they awaited my question
“How the hell did you all get here?”
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Hello everyone,
I require one digital illustration from each of four different artists, for a total of four illustrations. I would use the illustrations for commercial purposes. These artworks will be printed on aluminum plates, with sizes varying from 20x20 cm to 60x60 cm. As such, I will hold the ownership rights to the finished illustrations.
Compensation and Other Details:
• The payment for each illustration will be around €100-150 (or the equivalent of it of your currency).
• If desired, I will credit you on social media posts and other platforms where the illustration is displayed.
• On top of this, you will receive a 30x30 cm print of your illustration. I'll cover the cost and shipping charges. I only ask you to take 3-5 photos of it, showcasing how it looks on a wall or against a background. These pictures don't have to be professional-grade, but should give a good sense of how the print fits into a space. I would use these photos for my shop and/or social media posts.
Artwork Requirements:
• The illustration should have a 1:1 ratio.
• Minimum resolution of 300 dpi, and should be scalable for printing up to 60x60 cm.
• Art style should be surreal or lean towards surrealism.
​
Concepts for Illustrations:
I have outlined the four concepts below and some references for orientation. The references are partially AI created and should only be considered as an input for inspiration. I'm more than open to your personal interpretations and creative inputs.
​

1. Dancing Cone (Still open)

A very dark black cone with two silver human legs, seemingly dancing with a small silver sphere floating next to it. The cone has no face or arms. A golden hoop encircles the cone, set against a dark background.

• Reference 1: https://stock.adobe.com/de/330742959

1. Galactic Cat (Still open)

A large cat face, with a friendly grin, set against a dark-blue star-filled background. The left eye houses a galaxy, while the right eye depicts the Big Bang or some other cosmic-scale explosion. The focus should be on the eyes.

• Reference 1: https://stock.adobe.com/de/544550129
• Reference 2: https://stock.adobe.com/de/572651348

​

1. Golden Tree (Still open)

A large, healthy tree, composed of only golden lines, stands against a dark background beneath a starry night sky. Despite being in a dark wasteland, the tree looks vibrant, its friendly and wise face gazing upon the stars that its branches seem to reach for.

• Reference 1: https://stock.adobe.com/de/558143841

​

1. Hourglass Desert (Still open)

A gigantic hourglass floats above a desert at night. Sand flowing from a crack in the hourglass forms a procession of animals - a tiger, an elephant, and a giraffe.
If you're interested and have any questions, or if you wish to discuss ideas, payment details, or other project-related information, please feel free to contact me directly. I would also be happy to check out your porfolio first.

• Reference 1: https://stock.adobe.com/de/586740963

Cheers!

Big rant, about more than just the cancer. Mental health, sex drive, body issues. Mentions of suicidal thoughts. In case anyone is trying to avoid triggers. Im sorry to dump this on you guys, but idk where else to put it and I need to get it out. I can't say it out loud. It makes no sense. And its just going to upset the people closest to me. There is nothing positive or uplifting here, so if you're having a rough day maybe skip this post.
Why is my brains default setting "fucking moron"? The ADHD makes me stupid and forgetful and confused all the time. I get appointments mixed up no matter how I try to keep track of them. I plan out and redo and double check all my projects at work and I still fuck it up. Every. Single. Time. And this is my default setting. The ADHD says "yes, stupid" and the meds that are supposed to help fucking don't. I'm so jealous of all the ADHDers whose stories I read that are like "I got meds and suddenly mind was clear I could get shit done." Why don't my meds do that? Why am I taking this fucking pill EVERY GODDAMN DAY IF IT DOESNT DO ANYTHING?
I'm starting to suspect that maybe I don't even have ADHD. Everyone else has hyper specific interests that they throw themselves into. I can't do that. All I can do is sit and stare. At the wall. At my phone. At the TV. Everyone else's ADHD makes them learn about this cool stuff that interests them. In starting to think maybe I dont have ADHD and I really am just fucking stupid.
This trash ass garbage body I've been cursed with continues to betray me. Got pregnant while on birth control, got cancer for no goddamn reason, threw a clot that landed me in the ER post surgery for no reason. I have zero control over my brain. I wish there was a way to kill the body without killing myself. I tried once, a long time ago, and failed at that like I've failed at everything else.
And I feel utterly alone. I have very few friends to begin with. My best friends life is on a really big upswing. I'm so happy for her, but at the same time I just wish she'd shut the fuck up about it. And it makes me feel like a bad friend. My partner has been very supportive in his own way, but he's not very good at expressing himself and when I get whiny and start crying for no reason, his patience wears thin and he gets snappy, then just shuts down. "I dont want to say the wrong thing and set you off". I get that. I try to just remove myself when I get like this, but our house is like 600 square feet and the only way to really remove myself is to leave. And I'm a fucking loser and I can't drive so I'm just stuck here. I can't even go for a walk right now because I'm still in pain from the ER trip last week. My therapist tells me that isolating isn't good for me. But what he doesn't understand is that its good for everyone else. I don't isolate for me, I do it for them. I would love to have someone just hold me and tell me it's okay and let me cry it out. But we're in our 30s now and no ones got the time or patience for that melodramatic bullshit.
I feel so disgusting all the time. Cancer means they cut off my right tit and replaced with a tissue expander. So I have a normal boob and a rock hard plastic balloon that sticks straight out and has a four inch scar where the nipple should be. My hair is growing back but it didn't do any of the cool post chemo things like curls or a new color, so its just the same sad, limp, geasy-looking dishwater disaster it was before. They sliced my belly button open so that they could take out my ovaries. I'm 35 and starting menopause. I'm going to get fatter and more wrinkly. One of the post cancer drugs I have to take (which my insurance refuses to pay for) is probably going to make my hair even thinner. But its okay because menopause is going to take that hair and transfer it to my fucking face instead. Once I get reconstruction done, ill have one tit thats nothing but scar tissue, no nipple, and a giant scar across my belly. And that's IF I can get it done. They won't do it if I don't quit nicotine and I've spent that last year trying and failing to quit. I genuinely don't know if I can do it. My other option is to have the tissue expander removed and either be freakishly crooked or take off the other boob too and be freakishly flat forever. If I have zero tits and zero ovaries am I even still a woman? Having a vagina does not mean I'm a woman. I'll be a nothing. All because I'm a whiny little piss-baby who can't give up her one remaining vice. I QUIT HEROIN COLD TURKEY I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I CANT DO THIS.
My sex drive had already fallen down into a dark hole before cancer. Now it's probably gone forever. My poor partner has been understanding and supportive about it for the last couple years, but I can only imagine that patience isn't going to last forever. Eventually he's going to get tired of it. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who does not want to be touched like that. No one wants to be in a relationship where their partner can't even flirt back because she knows she doesn't have interest in sex and doesn't want to lead him on. Its no wonder we've been together for most of a decade and he has no interest in marriage. I wouldn't want to be trapped with me either. I'm a fucking nightmare. And within the next year I'm going to get even more unattractive. Eventually he's not even going to want to touch me. I don't blame him. I can't even look at myself, I can't expect anyone else to want to. At this point are we even a couple? We don't have sex, I can't flirt anymore. We might as well just be weirdly close roommates. God, its a miracle he's stuck around this long.
People keep telling me "at least you're still alive to feel this way." Fuck all the way off with that shit. Being alive is the BARE FUCKING MINIMUM and there is a big difference between being alive and living. Besides, being alive is not a fucking flex when you've spent the last 25 years wishing you'd never been born.
In case you couldn't tell, the depression meds are fucking helping either. Neither is therapy. Talk therapy is a fucking joke. I can run my mouth til I'm blue in the face and guess what? It fixes exactly jack shit.
In conclusion, I wish I had never told anyone I had cancer. I wish I'd just kept my motherfucking mouth closed and let the cancer do its thing and take me the fuck out. I'm sick of being here. But I'm a such a fucking simping, people pleasing, pathetic excuse for a human that I can't even let myself die because I might disappoint someone else. I wasted my entire life up til this point and there's no indication that I'm going to do anything useful or worthwhile with it now. I deserve cancer.