Give him 15

So I recently found out a coworker is making more than me for the same job for the sole reason of him having a child. I've asked for a raise of 50 cents more than this coworker because I have more experience and I constantly have to help him do his job properly and he still makes more than me. I asked for a raise like 2 weeks ago. Manager is dragging his feet saying I have to have a performance evaluation Yada Yada Yada. HR won't even return my calls. So I did a little research and the 2 different lawyers I've spoken with say this sounds a lot like discrimination to them. So I'm just biding my time until he either tells me he can't give me a raise or only offers like 25 cents or something. What else can I do besides quit. I don't want to quit I want them to fire me.

Hello, i have been a Soraka main for a long time but recently i have started feeling quite useless on The champion. I dont know if its The new items or the meta but just not finding success or enjoying her as much anymore. So i've been fiddling around with new supports and did a few games of Zilean, but im really confused about what items to buy on him. I tried shurelyas but the extra movespeed feels irrelevant with how much E already gives. He doesnt have a reliable way to proc the heal/Shield items so the only ones i've been thinking could work are Everfrost, Evenshroud and Locket. Which do you think are best, and what second/third items would you recommend on him after buying mythic?

i need advice to figure out how can i (22f) talk to this guy (25m). i have a crush on him since i was 15 lol and i always felt like he is wayyyy out of my league. now we’ve been talking to each other again, we’re going to the same martial art class again and he’s been liking my stories. how can i talk to him without being too obvious?

So when I opened my roth IRA and money market account, as part of opening them I had to declare beneficiaries if i died. I left half to my one brother and the other half to my parents.
My brother is getting married, and is refusing a prenup, so I dont want to give him money if MY money will become a marital asset. MY money is only for him, not her.
So my question is, if i create a will, does that override the agreements at my banks, or do i need to go to them individually and reverse the beneficiary policy?

It’s been a couple of days since my last post. I think I’ve come to terms with the break-up (I had an eye opening experience that totally changed my view and feelings in regards to my ex; I’m switching between indifference and disgust, and I am surprised at how quickly I got here). I even wanna date again.
What I cannot let go of is the hate I feel for his current “girlfriend”, the AP from the first betrayal in 2018 (and the one I’ve talked about in my last post).
I like to think it’s because in my eyes she has no integrity, no self-respect. There are two possibilities:
I believe: Ex and her entered a relationship on the side in 2017 until I caught them in 2018, he left her on the sidewalk to patch things up with me but secretly stayed in contact with her until I caught them in 2021 (after which he supposedly left her again to be with me), and now in April, barely three weeks after I moved out, he introduced her to our kid as his new gf and she spends the nights.
He says: All these things happened, but they didn’t stay in contact, they just happened to always meet up after the betrayal in 2018 (first in 2021, then after the separation). He didn’t keep her as a side piece.
Either way, in my eyes what woman has even an ounce of self-respect to get together with a man that left her standing in another city on the sidewalk twice to make things right with his partner, or even stays with a man as a side piece for over 5 years to wait for my spot to get vacant for her? This is not a person I want my child to spend 1:1 time with. To me this shows what a bad character she has, definitely not one my child could actually learn from. (Mind you, his father isn’t someone I want him to learn anything from, either, but, unfortunately, he is his father…) Ex wants her to pick up our son or take him to school, when we both can’t. I say he still has reliable relatives in those cases.
I read a post here on Reddit where a commenter said that a betrayed spouse should be happy if there’s another adult in the life of their kid and wants to be good to the child and take care of them. Am I wrong in not wanting her to be such a person? Am I too hung up on her? I don’t care about potential other future gfs, Just not the home wrecker ones… Should I try to let this go?
I’m grateful for any advice you guys can give me!

Hi, I just need to vent cause I’m sick of crying. I’ve been for a follow up appointment today with my (fabulous) gynaecologist after a polyp removal in January. She has previously agreed that I need a hysterectomy, I have endometriosis, adenomyosis and pcos, a delightful trifecta of reproductive shit. (I also carry Becker muscular dystrophy so I’m one child and done as he has the condition.) I’ve been asking for 15 years for it and all the tests and scans have had numerous gynaecologists asking how I function. As you guys know we just have to get on with it. Well she took my case to the trust to get me a date for surgery and they’ve turned me down. I cried, she cried and the nurse cried. I feel so bloody weak for crying but I’m actually devastated, I thought there was going to be light at the end of the tunnel. I thought my delicious hormonal migraines were going to be treated. No more vomiting at work with pain, no more 8 day periods twice a month. I can actually feel like I’m pulling my weight at work again not just being a ball of painful misery. I can shift some weight at last, but no. Because I have refused a coil, it might help! It might make it worse. I’ve been refused the surgery. I’ve admitted defeat and I get a coil inserted on the 29th of June (happy 40th birthday to me) with the proviso that if it makes it worse over the next 6 months then they’ll happily do the surgery. I keep telling myself I’ve done 15 years I can do another 6 months but right now, in my pity party, I’m not sure I can. Please give me any stories, the good, the bad and the ugly, about the merina coil. Sorry for the wall of text. Thanks guys.

Was told by my girlfriends vet that my best buddy of 15 years has heart disease and his kidneys are failing. She said it’s probably best to put him down here soon so he isn’t in pain.
I’ve only had 1 other dog and I was younger and didn’t understand or feel the impact of a little furry companion. This hurts so much and I don’t know how my life will be the same without him.
He has always been there for me and always by my side. Always waited for me by the door when I left and always by my side.
It just won’t be the same.

Thought of a dumb theory that could give guts a power up. In an interstice created by a behelit/eclipse the astral world, physical world and world of idea get close to each other. So I’ve been thinking, what if the beast of darkness can take a physical form (since he is an idea within guts’s psyche) in a place like an eclipse the same way the idea of evil manifested itself before Griffith during his eclipse. Considering how strong guts’s will and anger is the beast should be pretty strong within the plane of the subconscious and maybe give him a power boost within a situation where the physical/astral realm are closer to the world of idea. I’m just saying random stuff I thought about idk if it even makes sense I also think that if skull knight turns the dragonslayer into a behelit sword like he does with the sword of actuation it could be powerful maybe

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
God loves you doesn’t mean you’re saved but rather He sent Jesus. He’s calling you to repent and have faith in Him.
Salvation requires you to believe therefore it is conditional. And it is not for the majority.
Matthew 7:13 - Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.
Therefore, sharing the Gospel gives much more perspective to the truth than just saying “God loves you”.

https://forums.tripwireinteractive.com/index.php?threads/deep-blue-z-is-now-live.2339469/
View the update trailer here:
Official Tripwire Interactive Channel Trailer discussion thread
I found a bug! Where do I submit a bug report?
The Tripwire Bug Report subforum is the best way to bring a bug to Tripwire's attention.
Is there a Double XP/Store Sale event ongoing?
TBA
How long will the seasonal objectives/event be running until?
Typically, seasonal events will run for a month.
What's new?

• New Community Map: Subduction by Catdrgn and Josh (according to Workshop)/SpoolsOfWar (according to original announcement)
  
  • Compatible for Survival, Weekly, Endless
• New Weekly: Containment Zone (For every wave, a random Stand Your Ground zone is marked on the map. Standing out of the marked zone causes players to take damage over time. Effect is disabled when less than 5 zeds remain, during trader time, and during a small time window after a wave starts. Suicidal difficulty, 7 waves)
  
  • Complete the Weekly to earn the Contamination Zone weapon skins for the Healer and Welder
• 2 New weapons
  
  • HRG Bombardier (Demolitonist, Tier 2, $500)
  • S12 Shockgun (Support, Tier 4, $1500)
  • Note: The S12 Shockgun is a DLC weapon. It can be acquired via purchase from the in-game store or from owning the Armory Season Pass II DLC. This weapon can be tried out by Steam/EGS players in private matches by inputting GiveWeapon KFGameContent.KFWeap_Shotgun_S12 into the dev console after enabling cheats.
  • Note: The HRG Bombardier is free for all users
• New Objectives, tickets, cosmetics, and store bundles
  
  • Complete all seasonal objectives to earn the Shark Jaw head accessory

Quality of Life changes:

• Added keybind to toggle friendly HUD
  
  • Keybind is configurable on PC Keyboard/Mouse in the options menu
  • On controller, this is toggled by bringing up the comms dial and pressing RT
• Item Search functionality in Inventory menu
  

Balance changes:

• Minigun
  
  • Magazine size increased from 90 to 120
  • Spare ammo increased from 540 to 600
  • Damage increased from 35 to 38
  • Ammo price per magazine increased from 90 to 120
• Spitfire + Winterbite + Rhino
  
  • Bash animation sped up by 33% (1.5 play rate, around 2s)
  • This change puts it in line with other pistols (9mm Pistol, etc)
• HRG Locust
  
  • Recategorised from Tier 3 to Tier 4
  • Number of upgrade tiers decreased from 2 to 1 ($1500 upgrade) to match other Tier 4 weapons
  • Damage decreased from 60 to 45 (Explosive)
  • Bleeding Power decreased from 20 to 15
  • Poison Power decreased from 25 to 20
  • Trader price from $900 to $1400
• Reducto Ray
  
  • Trader price decreased from $1200 to $900
• HRG Healthrower
  
  • Damage on Spray end decreased from 27 to 12
  • Damage on Spray start (muzzle) decreased from 30 to 15
  • Damage Interval decreased from 0.07 to 1.2
  • Poison Power decreased from 15 to 10
• Mine Reconstructor
  
  • Fire Interval decreased from 0.223 to 0.2
• Road Redeemer
  
  • Fast attack Damage increased from 68 to 75
  • Heavy attack Damage increased from 90 to 100
• HRG Crossboom
  
  • Damage Radius increased from 200 to 250
  • Seconds Before Arrow Detonation decreased from 0.5 to 0.2
• HRG Head Hunter
  
  • Ammo Cost (alt fire mode) decreased from 100 to 25
• Sentinel + HRG Bombardier
  
  • No longer triggers Zed Time or enrages Zeds with it's bullets or self-destruct explosion; however ballistic damage impact from the Bombardier's projectiles may be unaffected by this change
• Increased Move Speed (Field Medic passive ability)
  
  • Move speed bonus reduced from 0.4% per Level (10% max) to 0.2% per Level (5% max)
• Resilience (Field Medic Level 5)
  
  • Maximum damage resistance reduced from 60% to 30%

Bug fixes:

• Fixed an issue where the Survivalist's “Faster Weapon Switch” bonus was only applying to survivalist weapons.
  
• Addressed an issue where downloading or updating existing or new Workshop Maps were not always downloading due to getting into a poor state.
  
• Fixed an issue with the Demolitionist SKill Destroyer of Worlds that could lead to unintended damage types and visual effects being applied to some weapons.
  
• Fixed an issue where the Crovel and HE Grenade were used by default when changing perks to Survivalist at the Trader Pod.
  
• Sentinel-specific weapon fixes:
  
  • Fixed an issue where the animation of pressing the remote control would not play when the al-fire was pressed.
  • Fixed an issue where the Drone ammo count would be out of sync when dropping and picking back up the remote control.
  • Fixed an issue that prevented the Sentinel from firing through glass.
  • Fixed an issue where the Sentinel played no sound during the weapon check animation.
  • Fixed an issue where the Sentinel would not fire at Zeds that were meleeing the drone owner when playing offline.
  • Adjusted the behavior of the Patriarch’s tentacle to not grab and draw in the Sentinel.
  • Fixed an issue where the ammo counter would be reduced when switching weapons during drone deployment.
• HRG Bombardier-specific weapon fixes:
  
  • Fixed an issue where the drop model was not being lit.
  • Fixed an issue where the ammo count was different from 1st person to 3rd person.
  • Fixed an issue in 3rd person where the Deploy animation would play when the drone was detonated.
  • Fixed an issue where the muzzle flash was shifted away from the barrel.
  • Fixed an issue where the detonator would disappear when the player is running and throws a grenade.
  • Fixed an issue where the drone would fire multiple projectiles when firing at groups of Zeds.
  • Fixed an issue where the drone would increase its fire rate when firing at groups of Zeds.
  • Fixed an issue where the drone would be frozen at the deployment site during ZED Time.
  • Fixed an issue where the drone would fly off away from the player after being deployed in ZED Time and ZED Time then ended.
  • Fixed clipping issues with the blade in 3rd person.
  • Fixed an issue where the explosion radius grew exponentially with Survivalist and Demolitionist skills.
• S12 Shockgun-specific weapon fixes:
  
  • Fixed an issue where a dropped weapon with an empty magazine was Green.
  • Fixed an issue with the magazine being duplicated during the elite reload animation.
  • Fixed an issue where the weapon would clip into the camera while strafing right.
  • Updated the animations to minimize clipping and clean up all of the reload animations.
• Fixed an issue with the M16 203 Assault Rifle where the Alt-Fire sound would stop playing.
  
  • Corrected the HRG Crossboom Alt-Fire to have the proper detonation time.
  • Fixed an issue where the Survivalist Crovel was not cycling through the weapon swap correctly while the primary weapon was empty.
  • Fixed an issue for the G36c Assault Rifle reload animation where the magazine would disappear in the third person during both partial and full reloads.
  • Fixed an issue for the ZED MKIII reload animation where the magazine would drop to the floor during a partial reload.
• Subduction-specific map fixes:
  
  • Worked to improve performance on the map in areas where the frame rate would dip.
  • Updated the blood splatter in all areas of the map to ensure proper coverage is occurring.
  • Updated the impact decals in all areas of the map to ensure the proper decal is being applied from bullet impacts.
  • Updated the impact sounds in all areas of the map to ensure the proper sound is playing from bullet impacts on the materials.
  • Updated the occlusion for water audio so that it can be heard from the appropriate distance and not through areas and objects it should not.
  • Added audio for all of the generators
  • Updated the spawned weapon spawn points to prevent clipping into the environment.
  • Updated the lighting throughout to ensure the light cast matches the light source.
  • Updated the Trader Path arrows to clearly designate the path for players.
  • Updated the SYG borders to more accurately reflect the defended area.
  • Fixed an issue where the waypoint arrow for the Auditorium SYG was not present.
  • Fixed multiple invisible collisions near railings throughout the map.
  • Fixed multiple pathing issues for large Zeds near the railings.
  • Fixed an issue that caused the player’s camera to twitch while in the lobby.
  • Fixed multiple instances of z-fighting with the railings and walls throughout the map.
  • Fixed multiple instances of walls disappearing and reappearing within the player’s view.
  • Fixed multiple instances of lights disappearing and reappearing within the player’s view.
  • Fixed multiple instances of texture seams throughout the map.
• Fixed an issue during the Contamination Zone weekly outbreak on Airship where the Safe Area had no SYG lines designating it.
  
• Addressed the localization for the Plague Doctor Hood where it did not fit within boundaries in multiple languages.
  
• Fixed issue for the M4 where an extraneous M was present in German in the inventory menu.
  
• Corrected the Russian text for the Projections from the Deep achievement.
  
• Updated the description of the Seasonal Objective “Somewhere, beyond the Z” to fit within the designated UI
  
• Fixed multiple instances of log spam around lighting/PCV warnings as well as StaticLoadObject warnings.
  
• Continued to address overall console stability issues
  

We met, text and spoke on the phone throughout the day. He invited me to meet his friends and I hung out with his brother. He said I was a “good soul” and had “a lot of love to give”
Okay so maybe 2 weeks after we first slept together I asked him if he was seeing/sleeping with anyone else. He said no. I then told him that I would walk away if he wanted to sleep with anyone else because I don’t do non exclusive sex. He said he understood.
We also agreed to using no condoms (well I agreed off the back of the conversation we had).
I’ve had doubts throughout the dating phase about him acting honestly, small things like lying where he was, he cancelled plans once to go on a night out (and then started a massive argument when I said it was poor behavior) and he sneaks off sometimes with his phone (I caught him in the toilet recently sending a voicenote, when he usually just sends voice notes to his mates in front of me)
I had a gut feeling but all my friends were saying he seemed really into me, consistently contacted me, wanted to meet multiple times a week, called me when he was on nights out and introduced me to all his friends. I thought it was going somewhere.
Yesterday there was tinder and hinge notifications on his phone.
First he said he didn’t use it, and notifications don’t mean anything.
Then he said he did use it, but in the same way as Instagram, and if he went through my phone he’d find men in my DMs giving me attention.
Then he said if the roles were reversed he “wouldn’t care cus it’s none of his business”
Then he said we never had a chat about exclusivity.
Then he said he does remember the chat but thought it was just my preference, eg that I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else.
Then he said he understood what I meant by the chat, and he should have said he was going to sleep with other people, because he wants to go out on nights out and not feel bad if he is tempted.
He told me to get off my high horse, lose the attitude, that I “won” and he was a villain
He said he was speaking to other people but hadn’t slept with anyone since he started sleeping with me.
This argument went on a while. He then tried to hug and kiss me and stop me from leaving his flat. When I left he messaged me but I ignored it. He then messaged the next day saying “I guess I should say have a nice life or something”
I feel like I’m being made out to be totally unreasonable but I really don’t understand why. Any insights on what has happened would be good and what I can do from here. I don’t plan on seeing him again

I (29F) have been dating a man (33M) for two years, who also has a two and a half years old daughter.
So far so good, we're a great match, great chemistry, love doing stuff together. I however have avoided his kid, since I don't really like young children. He has her every other week. We usually get together in his off week. The few times I've been there when the kid's around, I let her and her daddy tend to their business and do my own thing as well until she goes to bed. Then we hang out as a couple. It's not that I ignore them all day, if she comes to me I'll interact a little bit with her and I help out my boyfriend by doing household chores. There's no resentment, my boyfriend sees me as "his partner" and just wants me and the kid to get along, nothing more or less. We've communicated well and he says his kid is his responsibility. The only thing I need to do to support this, is give him the time and space to be a good parent. And yeah, of course let the guy vent about his emotions if it has been a hard "dad-day". This works well. We just work really well. Even though I'm always slightly uncomfortable around the young kid, I never get tired of him letting his frustrations out about how hard it can be to be a parent or his relationship with the biological mom who can be a bit of a handful. I don't mind listening and helping, as he also always does that for me. That's what a partner does in my opinion, here it's just that the worries of life are about his kid mostly... No problem.
I never wanted children. However, I'm a teacher (secondary school) so I wouldn't say I hate kids. I like them more when they're older and able to have an intelligent conversation though... I never wanted any of my own since I never felt the need to be a mother. I like my freedom and personal space to do my own thing. Pets are enough for me. Even though my partner has said that I take my role as a dog owner so seriously that I seem more invested in my pupper than some parents. I'm not entirely sure if the two can even be compared like that.. Says more about those parents than it says something about me.
Honestly I can't say that I like the kid. I don't dislike her either, even though I think she can be a bit annoying and overly dramatic, which is completely normal for kids her age. My feelings are just... Not really there.
Of course that brought me to evaluate this relationship. I'm heads over heels with the father and really want a future with him. Of course we can't do that without the kid. I can see it work, if I'm allowed to have my space. I might even really like having a teenager in the house when she gets older, since I tend to love my students and all their teenage drama. I however doubt I could handle it if the kid was with us full-time (what if the mom passes on?) and we wouldn't have weeks without her. My partner has said that he wouldn't know what to do in that situation either and that he could not handle having her full-time... Which is concerning but honest?
The thing is. I'm 29. My twenties are over. I've been in relationships, all long ones (3+ years) and I've noticed that I'm having a hard time finding a match for me. I have quite some kinky interests, which makes 'vanilla intimacy' truly boring to me. I'm energetic, always learning something new and love being spontaneous. Usually partners either don't have the same sexual interests as me or they find it tiresome that I don't "settle into a routine". Which I get, if I could, I'd change but I don't think that's possible. This man really gets me like no one ever has before. Seems like a shame to not to try to make it work even if he has a kid. The other thing is, seems terribly cruel to make the kid feel like she's unwanted. I'd never want to do that ... And I'd never deliberately do such a thing.. But I also know kids are really good at picking up stuff... Even if you never ment any harm. So far she doesn't seem to notice that I'm a bit uncomfortable around her. I also truly don't know if I'll change my attitude if I see her more often or if she gets older. I know I have students that'd I'd gladly adopt. Usually because they have a bad home situation. Or because they're just such sweet kids.
TLDR: What to do when you're childfree, 29 years old, don't want kids and your amzing partner has a kid but you want to make it work? Break up with the dad because there is no hope it will work? Or does anyone have tips how we might make it work?

This league there have been a lot of different opinions about the profitability of The Feared Invitation. While Empyriangaming´s small sample size certainly showed a volatility in short term profit margins, bigger sample sizes by u/ToiletOfGold and u/ixmike88 showed that it is still profitable. So here I am with another big sample size that I am going to compare with my findings from last league.
Here is the data from 500 max investment 100%+ IIQ Feared Runs (including Uber Uber Elder, Uber Atziri, Uber Cortex and Flawless Chayula). I´ve been doing 5 x 100 Runs with 3 Quad Stashes of Loot I had to sort out after each 100 Runs. One full run takes me 10-12 minutes, so I was able to do 5 runs per hour.
For each encounter, I am going to give a little advice, followed by a breakdown of cost & profit/loss, a conclusion and a comparison. These lists only contain the profitable and very rare drops. Values are average market prices.
My build: Cold Flicker Strike Slayer (15 Frenzy / 15 Endurance Charges) PoB: LINK (Uber DPS Config)
Atlas Tree: Uber notables, Wandering Path with all Synth nodes
Uber Atziri Make sure you can burst her down fast enough so she can only ever enter her Split Phase (the Add Phase takes far too long). Reflect immunity required. Cost: 0.25 div per Set; 125 div total

Drop (Avg. Value per)	Amount	Total Value
Atziri´s Reflection (1.6 div)	5	8 div
Atziri´s Disfavour (4 div)	0	-
The Price of Devotion (26 div)	0	-
Triumvirate Authority (-)	6	-
Atziri's Acuity (-)	6	-

The Ultimatum Aspect Fragment and the Sacrifical Garb Base Armour seem to drop every 3rd or 4th encounter. Since they dont really sell, I didnt bother picking them up after a while. Total loss (Uber Atziri): - 117 div Conclusion & Comparison: Uber Atziri is still just entry cost for doing The Feared. Atziri needs some additional high tier drops. No changes compared to 3.20.
Uber Cortex (Replica/Default) Boss rush. Make sure you can run any mod combination, have a second character set up that can do it or in the worst case, buy a carry service. The Replica version is a little cheaper, has more global map modifiers, can be a lot more difficult and has the identical drop pool. In very rare cases, you get Synth map modifiers that make it worth full clearing the map (e.g.: %ChanceToDropDivCards and %IncRarityDroppedBy). Cost: 1.5 div per Map; 750 Div total

Drop (Avg. Value per)	Amount	Total Value
Rational Doctrine (8 div)	9	72 div
Bottled Faith (1.5 div)	46	69 div (medium variance)
Garb of the Ephemeral (30c)	57	7.8 div
Forgotten Reliquary Key (4 div)	7	28 div
Nebulis (10c)	147	6.7 div

Notable Synth Item drops: +1FrenzyShieldSTR (50 div), +1PowerShieldINT (50 div), ExplodeWand (40 div), %IntRing (30 div), DexStackBow (15 div), ExplodeStaff (8 div), +1PowerShieldSTR (2x 8 div), GraceAuraEffRing (5 div), AuraEffHelmet (2x 5 div), FlammabilityOnHitRing (5 div), IntStackingWand (3 div), IgniteSceptre (3 div), CritMultiRing (3 div), %DexBoots (2 div) and around 15 items that have sold for up to 1 div. Total loss (Uber Cortex): - 567 div (without Synth items), - 310 div (with Synth items) Conclusion & Comparison: Pretty disappointing but to be expected, Cortex profit heavily relies on amazing Synth drops. The unique drops are worth less in 3.21 but with Crucible around, the Nebulis easily sell in bulk.
Uber Uber Elder Personally, I found this to be the most difficult of fights (Flicker Strike is not a great skill for it). Just run circles around the bosses and try to burst down the shaper as fast as possible after every Add Phase so he doesn´t use his Bullet Hell. Good luck dodging if Maven decides to clone the bosses in the arena. Cost: 1.5 div per Set; 750 Div total

Drop (Avg. Value per)	Amount	Total Value
Watcher´s Eye iLvL 87 (4,5 div)	185	832.5 div
Orb of Dominance (1 div)	55	55 div
Sublime Vision (8 div)	8	64 div
Decaying Reliquary Key (4 div)	5	20 div
Double Impresence (-)	12	Sold two (22 Div, 4 Div)
The Shieldbearer (2,5 div)	5	12.5 div
Eternity Shroud (45c)	5	1 div
Voidforge (8 div)	1	8 div
The Gulf (20c)	5	0.9 div
Indigon (30c)	56	7.6 div
Soul Ascension (-)	7	-
Voidfletcher (-)	66	-

Total profit (Uber Uber Elder): + 277 div Conclusion & Comparison: The Watcher´s Eyes themselves easily pay for the Uber Uber Elder Runs. Very profitable by itself. Voidforge actually exists as drop. No changes compared to 3.20.
Flawless Chayula [BREACH REWORK] Breachstones also roll random modifiers, so they can be a little tricky. If you dont use CastOnDeath+Portal, make sure to place a portal halfway through the Breach. Flawless Breachstones are 45 seconds faster than the normal version. Chayula can be permafrozen so that one was the easiest encounter for me. Chaos resistance helps a lot. You can level Gems in your Offhands. As of 3.21 you can use It That Fled´s Breachstone Bargains to increase the rewards of the Breachstones. They unfortunately do not speed up the encounter itself. Cost: 1.5 div per Stone; 750 Div total

Drop (Avg. Value per)	Amount	Total Value
Fractured GlobalDef Grasping Mail (50 div)	11	550 div
Uul-Netol´s Vow (8 div)	9	72 div (high variance!)
United in Dream (40c)	169	30.7 div
Red Nightmare (150c)	18	12.3 div
Green Nightmare (1.5 div)	25	37.5 div
Blue Nightmare (40c)	26	4.7 div
Skin of the Lords (-)	19	250 div (Details below)

I´ve dropped 63 fractured Grasping Mails (71 in 3.20), so you can still expect one to drop every 7-8 runs. The mods are weighted (1 in 4.25 chance to hit Global Defense), so you can expect to drop one FracGlobalDef every 32 runs. I´ve dropped 19 Skins of the Lords. These have a really high variance because of socket colors and the Notable. The most valuable ones had at least 3 blue sockets and a good notable: GhostDance (50 div), Iron Will (39 div), GlancingBlows (30 div), SupremeEgo (25 div), Acrobatics (18 div), AvatarOfFire (20 div), Magebane (15 div) Total loss/profit: - 40 div (without Skins), + 210 div (with Skins) Conclusion & Comparison: I was quite unlucky considering the FracGlobalDefense droprate (11 instead of avg. 15), otherwise the Breachstones would have easily payed for themselves. While there was absolutely no reason to run normal Breachstones in 3.20, I can´t say the same for this league since I dont know the droprates of Blessings and Skin of the Loyals.
The Feared Invitation [ATLAS CHANGES] Make sure you can run any mod combination or have counter measures available (e.g. I used an Enduring Mana flask on "no leech" invitations). I prefer to kill Cortex and Atziri first if possible. Invitations were rolled to 8 mod 100+IIQ, you can vendor 5 failed corruptions for a new one. You also drop a lot of invitations from the bosses. Cost: ~45c per 8-mod Invitation, 100 div total

Drop (Avg. Value per)	Amount	Total Value
Maven´s Writ (1.4 div)	632.2	885 div
Uber Elder Red Fragment (0.5 div)	173	86.5 div
Uber Elder Black Fragment (0.2 div)	165	33 div
Bottled Faith (1.5 div)	28	42 div (medium variance)
Watcher´s Eye iLvL 85 (1 div)	93	93 div
Blessings of Chayula (1.2 div)	4	4.8 div
Orb of Conflict (0.25 div)	110	27.5 div
Dying Sun (20c)	39	3.5 div
Garb of the Ephemeral (30c)	28	3.8 div
Atziri´s Reflection (1.6 div)	1	1.6 div
Nebulis (10c)	118	5.3 div
Triumvirate Authority (-)	15	-
Atziri's Acuity (-)	12	-
Skin of the Loyal (-)	29	90.5 div (Details below)

I also dropped 86 Awakened Gems, the most expensive ones being several EleDmgWithAtks and VoidManipulations. Profit from Gems is around 16 div total. Two double corrupted uniques sold for 1 div each. Notable Synth item drops: SpellDDBow (25 div), SpellDDNebulis (20 div), ExplodiWand (25 div), EleWeaknessOnHitRing (5 div) I´ve dropped 29 Skin of the Loyal, the most valuable ones with 3B2R1G (20 div), 4B2G (12 div), 4B1R1G (5 div) Total profit/loss (Feared): + 1102 div (without Skins/Synth), +1267 div (with Skins/Synth) Conclusion & Comparison: Even tho they removed the small Maven Crucible IIQ nodes on the Atlas, the higher Maven´s Writs price as a result make up for it. The removal of Flawless Chayula Breachstone drops in The Feared put a huge dent into the profit that can not get fully covered by Skin of the Loyal drops.
Notable Drops: While I dropped 2 Mirrors of Kalandra in 3.20, I did not drop a single one in 3.21. I might just go for another 500 runs until I drop one.
Profit from 500 Full Runs: +653 Div (Default Drops) // +332 Div (Synth) // + 338 Div (Skins) Profit per Full Run: 1,3 Div per Run (Default), 2,6 Div per Run (Default/Synth/Skins) Profit per Hour (5 Runs/hour): 7-13 Div* *doesnt include the time to sell/buy/sort
Final conclusion: The Feared is still very profitable, even tho not as good as it was in 3.20. Most uniques are worth less, we lost the IIQ on the Atlas and Skin of the Lords/Loyals add another layer of drop RNG.

I never shared this with anyone until today.
I'm an intern and I want to confess that I have a major crush on my senior resident. Obviously, he doesn't know and nobody does. I took notice of him the first time I went to their office for a referral. He actually scolded me for having an incomplete history of my patient. I apologized and remembered to do better whenever I have to refer a patient.. whether to him or to his fellow residents. Since then, I have not been scolded again. I like to think that I do a good job and he and his colleagues have become familiar with me.
After rotating at his department, I found out that he was actually nice, friendly and well.. cute lol. He's very smart too (of course). I told him I'm interested in applying for residency in his department and he would tell me to 'study so I know what to do when it's my turn next time'.
He kinda made me feel some type of way when, at one time, he said, "Stand here close to me" during a procedure." What in the actual fuck I cannot hahaha. I kinda hate myself for feeling this way because I'm not usually one to have have crushes on anyone. Not at my age and certainly not when I've been single for so long. But then something about him is just really attractive. He's confident, he's very smart and he goes out of his way to teach.
Another time, he called me pretty. Out of the blue. Not sure if he was joking or what. I just laughed it off. The most memorable incident though, is him apologizing for giving an attitude. It was a busy night, lots of patients and I was there asking back to back for information to relay to my other residents. I knew he was already in a bad mood and I tried my best to be respectful. I left thanking him for the help. I left that shift exhausted and when I checked my phone the next day, I saw that he sent me a text saying sorry for acting the way he did. It's not like he had to do that. He's my senior but still, I appreciated the effort for saying something.
Nobody knows about this because he already has a long-term girlfriend.
I don't want anyone to know. I also hate to admit that he looks like my ex. My ex who is doing the same residency. I don't know if I have crush on this doctor because my past reminds me of him. Anyhow, still, no one can know. I respect this doctor and I would never do or say anything that would jeopardize myself or my career. I just really had to get this off my chest. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. :P

We met, text and spoke on the phone throughout the day. He invited me to meet his friends and I hung out with his brother. He said I was a “good soul” and had “a lot of love to give”
Okay so maybe 2 weeks after we first slept together I asked him if he was seeing/sleeping with anyone else. He said no. I then told him that I would walk away if he wanted to sleep with anyone else because I don’t do non exclusive sex. He said he understood.
We also agreed to using no condoms (well I agreed off the back of the conversation we had).
I’ve had doubts throughout the dating phase about him acting honestly, small things like lying where he was, he cancelled plans once to go on a night out (and then started a massive argument when I said it was poor behavior) and he sneaks off sometimes with his phone (I caught him in the toilet recently sending a voicenote, when he usually just sends voice notes to his mates in front of me)
I had a gut feeling but all my friends were saying he seemed really into me, consistently contacted me, wanted to meet multiple times a week, called me when he was on nights out and introduced me to all his friends. I thought it was going somewhere.
Yesterday there was tinder and hinge notifications on his phone.
First he said he didn’t use it, and notifications don’t mean anything.
Then he said he did use it, but in the same way as Instagram, and if he went through my phone he’d find men in my DMs giving me attention.
Then he said if the roles were reversed he “wouldn’t care cus it’s none of his business”
Then he said we never had a chat about exclusivity.
Then he said he does remember the chat but thought it was just my preference, eg that I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else.
Then he said he understood what I meant by the chat, and he should have said he was going to sleep with other people, because he wants to go out on nights out and not feel bad if he is tempted.
He told me to get off my high horse, lose the attitude, that I “won” and he was a villain
He said he was speaking to other people but hadn’t slept with anyone since he started sleeping with me.
This argument went on a while. He then tried to hug and kiss me and stop me from leaving his flat. When I left he messaged me but I ignored it. He then messaged the next day saying “I guess I should say have a nice life or something”
I feel like I’m being made out to be totally unreasonable but I really don’t understand why. Any insights on what has happened would be good and what I can do from here. I don’t plan on seeing him again

Trauma as a kid. Several kinds. Grew up thinking anything to do with sex was shameful and disgusting. Never dated until mid 40's
Met a widow. Soon was best friend. I didn't love her, but I liked her a lot. I don't love anyone in any way I understand the term. Married her.
Sex life was not outstanding, but I had no comparison. Found myself fantasizing about skinny twinks while we did the deed. Was not frequent, maybe averaged weekly over the first year, declining over the next few. Still had a lot of internal conflict about sex.
Menopause hit. She was afraid of HRT. Sex was uncomfortable for her. If we both can't enjoy it, I don't want to play.
That was 15 years ago. We cuddle now and then. Mostly sleep in separate bedrooms.
I'm in therapy now, and now recognize that a healthy sex life is more than just something you want, it's an actual need. I've also recognized that I'm more gay than straight.
I've mentioned to her several times that I'm not satisfied with the status quo. Even for the cuddling, I have to take the initiative, which gives me the feeling that she is just humouring me.
I asked her if I could take on a gay lover. She was not a fan.
I have the following letter composed. It's my response if I have an affair, and am discovered.
I'd be interested in hearing from people who are currently in a sexless marriage and in particular from those who are on the non-interest side.

Dear L.
I was faced with the following choice when I decided to try a gay lover.
I asked once and you weren’t happy about it. We came up with a plan that didn’t get anywhere satisfactory for me. True, much of that was due to a broken hip, but it put everything on hold. Since then, you rarely try to initiate, rarely reaching out often to me. Our cuddles aren’t enough.
Doing some reading on it, there are a bunch of reasons that sexual infidelity feels so betraying. I can see it that way, if attentions paid to someone else were ones denied to the other. However….
I read one story of a woman who gave her bi/gay husband permission to stray, hoped he wouldn’t, and then felt betrayed when it happened. She went on to have an affair. They separated.
Key element here: Permission isn’t always helpful if it is given with reservations. Permission would make it easier for my sense of integrity. But trading integrity for the certainty of making you sad isn’t a win for me. My moral ease costs your misery? Not a win.
So:

• In this other case, just the asking hurt.
• Giving permission hurt
• The other using that permission hurt.

I had a choice:

• Follow the story example and hurt you three times.
• Modify the story and just tell you this is what I’m doing. No longer a request, just a status update. One bigger hurt? I think so. It's throwing our vows in your face.
• Be discreet as long as I can. This will be hard on my self image. But that way, the pain stays with the perp. For a while.
• Do nothing and continue to be unfulfilled.

I figure that not telling you will hurt less. And who knows? I may consistently chicken out. You asked me once jokingly if I was on Tinder. I actually tried the free version of tinder, but found that it was unusable, and the type of people on it were not interesting to me. You asked after I had deleted the app.. I am active on several sites, and have been for several months. I’m learning a bit about modern flirting. It does my self esteem a world of good when I’m told I’m sexy by a total stranger. So far none of these have turned into anything. Some almost went somewhere, but either I chickened out, or they did.
When we talked about this last year, I said I liked skinny twinks. They are what turn me on physically. What I’m looking for is young guy like my nephew (gay, 22yr) but one who likes old guys. I have more than just a uncle’s friendship with Brenden. But I kept that repressed totally until he told me he was gay; then in our chats about this, he made it clear that he only considered a narrow age gap acceptable. So he’s still my best male friend, but nothing more.
Trauma folk are avoidant. We’ve been burned enough times that we work hard to stay away from those situations. But we generalise, and tend to avoid change. Staying with an unsatisfactory status quo.
Brene Brown says we have to be vulnerable in order to really live.. And that sometimes that will get us a kick in the teeth.
I am trying:
To learn to not always be a people pleaser. This means I chose actions that may not make other people happy. The trampoline, my winter trip, my independent trip to my sister's, the refusal to move to the coast, the keyboard, are all cases of me granting myself permission to be me. * To push into situations I’ve avoided. I’ve avoided interpersonal relations. I’ve avoided sex. Yeah, this can seem a cop out, and excuse. * To be vulnerable. * To accept that I can’t control everything.
I work hard to try to make win-win solutions. Sometimes that isn’t possible. Next best is a big win and a small loss. This may not be a small loss, but right now it seems like the present set of actions minimize the hurt I give you.

my father died infront of me when i was 7 and i haven’t mourned or grieved him. i can’t. i don’t know how. i don’t feel sad, i talk about it to therapists and cops like it’s just a new tv show. i didn’t cry at the trial, i didn’t cry at the funeral, i loved my father and i want him back but i just can’t feel anything. i’ve been to so many therapist’s. 17 of them since i was 8. they all just pass me to the next because they “don’t know how to help me” or “i’m too severe” or they just listen and do absolutely nothing else for months. i don’t need someone to listen, i need help. doctors don’t help, one therapist only kept me for 3 weeks. we had 3 sessions at most. none are consistent, at this point im just telling people my life story over and over, they don’t give me time to get comfortable or start to address my issues. i need someone to figure out why im broken and messed up. i should be devastated about my dad and i don’t even miss him

Has anybody met a person by the name of Abhishek Anand, who 10/15 days after meeting you, claims to be the devil by doing some sort of magic on you, and leaves some sort of jinn/spirit in your soul that constantly annoys all the time no matter what you do? Like trying to make you kill yourself, or telling you to do absolutely objectionable things to yourself/people around? He even tried to kill me initially by stopping my breath whenever I tried to sleep which fucked me up a lot. Whatever he has left in me talks to me, doesn’t even let me walk straight at times and tells you Shit that isn’t true. He tells you to have sex to remove that magic (through that jinn) but I did and it’s still here. It’s been 2 years I’ve been facing it and I’ve been to temples and shit but nothing happens. I’ve told people but they don’t believe me. That person wanted me to sell my soul to him for weird ass favours like money all that through potions and Shit. Does anybody at all know about this? He records your future and plants that into your body thru that spirit. So whatever you do FORCEFULLY feels like it’s already been done and even when you don’t think about it the bloody spirit in your body touches you from inside/ talks to you. It’s very creepy as I have been seeing ghosts too I can go on and on but it’s really disturbing and I’m not making Shit up nor I’m crazy. I called him to clarify and he very lovingly said that black magic Wagerah kuch nahi hota don’t worry. But that bastard used to show me his face constantly (through that jinn in my head) and said magic ka koi proof nahi hota so give in (have sex). As I said I did it but nothing happened. That spirit is still latched on to me. (I’m a 25 yo Lawyer in Supreme Court FYKI) Any help is appreciated. Please repost this in your circle as much as you can. He has done this to people before (what he says). And when I ask about this NOBODY knows. It’s a vicious cycle I’m in.

Good morning everyone! I just wanted to come on here to get some advice, tips, or even for you to share your stories or similar situation as mine. To make it short, my baby was living with her father last year due to my mental instability and suicide attempt. We went to court and the judge granted him physical custody. During the time I didn’t have the baby I went on to try and focus on myself and really just trying to get out of the shit storm I put myself in. I began going to therapy, taking antidepressants and anti anxiety meds, began meditating, doing yoga. Her father and I had a very dysfunctional coparenting relationship. It was really hard to keep our interests in the best of our daughter. We were both toxic. It wasn’t until 7 months into therapy that my mindset began changing for the better. I was learning to communicate more effectively, learning to not go back and forth with him, how to come up with solutions rather than pointing fingers. I tried my very best to have the best interest of my daughter at heart. Unfortunately her dad passed away 2 months ago and i immediately told his mom I wanted the baby to come back with me which she denied. At first she would let me see the baby if I went to her house, which I did but only twice after his passing. The second time I went to visit baby girl at her house, she got very emotional and showed me screenshots of arguments between him and I when he was alive, like to point out that they were very old screenshots. Anyway, she began screaming at me and I just sat there and cried and would tell her to calm down, but I think that would infuriate her even more. I ended up leaving and texting her another day that I didn’t feel comfortable going over anymore due to that incident and her threatening to call the cops on me on a different occasion when I asked through text if I could visit my baby. I filed for court and waited for almost two month for a new court order. I was granted full physical and legal custody. I picked my baby back up and she’s been with me since then. The issue now is that she’s suing me for visitation. I know that I want her to be in the baby’s life, but as of right now I just want to bond with my baby and not have to deal with her. Maybe that’s selfish or petty but I just need time or until whatever the courts say. I guess my issue is how do I just get over the uncomfortable feeling and the anxiety when dealing with her. Should I just allow her to come over until our court hearing or should I keep my boundaries firm for now and just focus on being there for my baby. It sucks that my daughter is ultimately the one suffering. This little 2 year old has been through a lot. She had to move homes last year due to my mental health, had to experience her dad and i’s fights, and now lost her dad and moved homes again… I just want to finally give my baby the stability she needs and deserves. Thoughts?

First year college pa lang us and in the circle I belong in, walo kami. Originally there were five of us. Kasama na dun si "best friend." Ang una kong impression is mabait siya and friendly, but boy, was I ever wrong.
Best friend turns out to be lying about a lot of things. One of them is yung knowledge niya about playing the electric guitar and she said pa nga na apat ang gitara niya sa bahay, dalawang acoustic at dalawang electric. Since ako dakilang uto-uto, naniwala naman. I was amazed by that kasi biruin mo, a friend of yours, maganda na, matalino pa, marami pang hobbies. Now, keep in mind yung about this guitar thingy.
It all started here. February this year, nagkaroon ako ng happy crush sa isang senior high school student sa school namin. Nung Valentine's day, binigyan ko siya ng letter. I gave that letter to him para makapag-move on na ako. I was fearless sa pagbigay ng letter nun thinking na grade 12 and 18 na yung guy. This student, aspiring musician siya. Sumali sya sa battle of the bands nung first sem and kahit wala ako that time, based sa vids na sinend ng friends ko sa gc namin, malakas ang charisma niya. So ito na nga, after I gave him the letter, ready na ako mag-move on then, all of a sudden hinanap ng friends nung guy yung giver ng letter (ako). I didn't tell him the letter was mine and rather pinaabot lang thru me. Then ayun na nga medj nagkagulo na, and amidst that chaos, nawawala na talaga feelings ko sa guy kasi naiipit na friends ko into the mess i made, tapos biglang itong si best friend mo, naging crush niya naman si guy.
Ito rin yung time na she's having doubts sa relationship niya and she thinks her bf is cheating on her. Sinabi nya na kapag nalaman nya daw na totoo hunch nya hindi daw sya makikipag-break sa bf nya and gagantihan niya pa daw, mangangabit din sya. That's a problematic way of thinking, and I agreed na lang dun sa balak nya because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Akala ko happy crush lang kasi may bf itong si best friend at 4 years na sila. Nung una I was really supportive since alam kong sa school lang sumasaya itong si best friend kasi medyo magulo household niya. Pero this time, napapansin na ng ibang mga kaibigan ko na best friend is becoming a little too obsessive sa guy. In-add nya sa fb and ayun inaccept naman ng guy, and I could tell na happy si best friend dun. Then all of a sudden, bigla na lang din sya nakikinig sa music taste ng guy and she proudly tells us na icocover nya nga daw yung isang kanta nung artist na pinapakinggan nung guy. She posted her very first cover ng electric guitar after a major argument sa friend group namin. She thinks kasi na yung isa naming friend is nag-a-isolate pero sa kanya lang. Nung naayos na yung misunderstanding sa usap, she posted that cover as "for us", her friends. Ang post na yon is pic ng kamay nya na nakahawak sa electric guitar nya habang nagpeplay yung cover nya. Parang audio lang ganon tas may pic ng kamay nya.
After that, very vocal na si best friend about this crush of hers. Sa sobrang vocal pa nga, yung isang friend sa circle namin biglang nasabi na "uy may bf ka, ikalma mo teh" (non verbatim), tapos na-offend si best friend dun. I get naman my friend's point kasi nga may bf ka tapos sa ibang lalaki ka mababaliw. And then, nalaman namin na grade 11 pa lang pala itong si guy, and 17 years old pa lang. Mature na kasi sya tignan. Tapos itong si best friend syempre hindi tumigil, grabe magpapansin sa fb, at magka-chat pa nga sila nung bata. Tapos nag-post ulit siya ng cover ng good 4 u. This time, natugtog na din siya. Nag-post din siya sa story nya ng cover ng dangerous woman. Both of them, electric guitar covers. Then days after, biglang nag-story si best friend na sinira daw ng papa nya yung mga gitara niya dahil sa "anger issues" nito. So i comforted her, and consoled her. She thanked me for it pa so I felt special.
March and April came, unti-unti nang lumalayo loob ng most friends ko kay best friend, had no idea why. But I sticked with her kasi i cared for her and I don't want to make her feel na mag isa lang siya. Tapos may isa pa kaming friend na sumasama so bale tatlo kami na magkakasama na sa months na nabanggit. Tapos one time, after school, nagpunta kaming tatlo sa coffee shop malapit sa school namin. Dun na nag-rant si best friend about sa sinasabi ng rest ng circle sa aming dalawang kasama niya. And I had to admit, sobrang napaniwala niya ako kasi ang galing niya magkwento. Sinabi nya pa nga nun "may sinabi sila tungkol sakin, gaganti ako, sasabihin ko rin sa inyo mga pinagsasabi nila." I even asked best friend pa nga na pano nila magagawa yun, naging vulnerable sila sakin and kahit papano I know their struggles. Sabi ni best friend, facade lang daw yun.
So sobrang devastated ako. Hindi ko pinaniwalaan agad sinabi niya kasi kilala ko mga kaibigan ko kahit papaano may morale naman sila. So the next day, kinausap ko si Matcha (not her real name), one of my friends sa circle ko to ask if what best friend said was true. Umalis muna ako sa tabi ni best friend nun and we had a talk. Sabi ni Matcha, malalaman naman daw niya kung may sinabi yung iba kong friends tungkol samin kasi vocal naman kami lagi at open sa communication. Pero before that, may pinakita sa akin si Matcha na dalawang videos. Those two videos, ARE THE SAME VIDEOS na pinost ni best friend as "her covers" to impress her crush na musician. She cropped and edited the tiktok videos tapos pinost nya as her own.
Later that day, pinakausap ako ni Matcha kay Vey, isa pang friend sa circle namin and I asked her myself if totoo ba yung sinabi ni best friend. So i did. Now, imagine my surprise when Vey said na hindi totoo yun at wala syang sinabi na ayaw niya ako kasi OA ako. Vey was angry sa lie na sinabi ni best friend, and she was so offended. Unti-unting nag-iba ang tingin ko kay best friend. Turns out, may sinabi at pinupuna rin pala siya hindi lang sa kanila, pero sa akin din. i don't want to elaborate on it any further kasi lalong hahaba, but very mean things yung sinabi sakin. Ngayon na hindi na namin sya kasama, I'm really appalled na by the thought na binackstab nya yung mga kaibigan ko knowing well na she did the same to me and wala akong idea dun.
Ito pa, sa sobrang pagka-obsessed ni best friend sa g11 na musician, bukod sa pagpopost ng covers for clout, inistalk niya lahat ng kamag-anakan ng bata. Ofc habol niya pictures. Pero late ko na na-realize na that was creepy. I was manipulated into giving her my sympathy. I think she took advantage of that kasi sa circle namin ako yung pinakamabait, caring and understanding. I felt taken advantage of.
Right now, sem break namin, lilipat na ako ng school this academic year while the rest of my circle, best friend, and the g11 guy na incoming g12 are gonna stay in that school. Alam na ng halos lahat sa klase ang ginawa niya, hindi lang kami nagsasalita. I just hope she learns her lesson na, pero sabi ni Matcha, she doubts na matututo pa siya if ganun ang ugali niya. She can live her life with our one friend na nag-iisang sumasama sa kanya. I loved her as a friend and I cared for her, but now all of it is gone. Bahala na ang Diyos sa kanya.

As the flair and title says, I'm afraid I'm mixing the two. I had given up on dating, like forever, because I knew I hadn't found my match nor would I (not trying to say I'm special, I'm difficult). So for 3 almost 4 years I didn't date, just nights with no meaning sex. But then I was diagnosed, there's a reason for my behavior, and then I met someone. I thought: "let's give this a try again) and I thought I was in love. For a whole week. And then I realized I actually didn't find him that attractive so that was that, back to single. Then I found out an old friend was returning from being abroad. We met and yet again, I'm in love for a week. The week ended last Friday when he got jealous and became an idiot, so that's that, back to single. And I shit you not, on the very next day I met another person. I could list the reasons why he's special (he really is) but at this point I'm doubting myself. I'm trying not to pursue, trying to not exaggerate and you know, give it time. It's so hard not knowing if I'm feeling what I'm feeling or just experimenting. So, do you have a way of knowing if it's real or not in the beginning?