Some people are fueled by social energy and suffer in myriad ways when it's lacking. This post is not for them. This post is also not directed at people who want children and families, been there done that and can respect that desire and path, but this isn't for those folks either.
This post is for the socially awkward to antisocial weirdos like me who are very independent and capable, for whom most "romance" stuff you see on TV and in movies seems fake, who mostly just want to be left alone to work on their many projects and interests, who are friendly and polite enough when approached but don't make many of their own approaches, and who don't even necessarily enjoy social interaction, yet inexplicably feel a hated yearning for a romantic relationship.
Maybe that yearning's not really coming from you, maybe you're at the mercy of chemicals and the culture.
The culture, I hardly have to speak to. "You're nobody till somebody loves you," is the refrain drummed into our heads and souls from every angle and in every form of activity or entertainment, beginning before we can even speak. Whatever you feel about "love" and "community" is only partly coming from you, and it's not even the biggest part. We're taught in school that humans are social animals and this mutual aid society helped us survive the early epochs and evolve into beings capable of founding and maintaining civilizations.
Okay, but what if you're no longer founding civilizations and don't need a mutual aid society to keep the wolves in the forest, raise the barn and get and the fields planted? And doesn't all this "civilization" bring with it war, corruption, famine, disease, and human-on-human crime, torture and suffering on a scale that nature alone couldn't possibly achieve? Maybe continuing to force a Medieval-era mutual aid society concept into a post-civilization era is the cause of that. How many of us met the pandemic lockdown with a sigh of relief instead of claustrophobic panic? A LOT.
Then there's the chemicals, and I definitely can speak to this because I've had it both ways. I had a fall in '21 that changed me in substantial ways, one of them is that my biologic chemical reward system is broken. I no longer experience cheap thrills, FOMO, tingles from likes or swipes, or any of the short-term, ephemeral dopamine hits most people get anytime they see, smell, taste, hear, or do something that makes their lizard brain go, "YAAAASSSS!" I can still get deep, meaningful enjoyment from things, but I'm immune to the dopamine system that runs most humans' lives and colors most of their decisions now. I'm also prone to sensory overload so I'm celibate, the thought of getting physical with someone new is literally sickening to me.
That damned cultural imperative to partner up did not go away, though. Even though I can recognize that I do not actually want to make room in my life for another person, don't desire physical contact with another person, would not welcome another person wanting to see and talk to me at any time, and would be a terrible partner because of those things, the culture makes no exceptions. But now it's obvious to me that those cultural pressures aren't based on supporting genuine wants or needs. If they're saying something like, "Yeah, I know it seems like that's what you want and that's what you're happy doing, but deep down..." they're fabricating a new buttress for the culture you're at odds with. I'm nobody till somebody loves me, and a threat to the established order, apparently.
I finally realized that what was making me sad wasn't the lack of another person in my life. The thought of another person in my life is annoying. It was failing to reject the culture wholesale, instead of just paying lip service to rejecting it: failing to recognize and honor myself as complete in the face of everyone and everything telling me I'm not. There's nothing missing from my life, there's just the whole of the culture constantly yammering at me that there is and that if I don't agree, there's something wrong with me.
If I ever choose to partner up it'll be because I met someone in an organic way and we got to know and care for one another over a long period of time, not because I felt a certain way after seeing someone from across the room or in an app. I know the likelihood of this happening in today's world is remote, but since it's the only kind of a connection that would be meaningful to me I'm okay with that.
I'm done living in serfdom to the culture and chemicals.

G’day. I don’t really have an intro to this one.
I do have a warning. The first story gets heavy. I will try to lighten it up in the second story, but there’s no way around it. If threats against schools (even written in the most YouTube-friendly way possible) are upsetting to you then skip this one. This is the reality of being a teacher so, welcome to it. Anything between a set of asterisks is not what was said and is me trying to use language that is YouTube-friendly. I think you can figure out the context.

1. “MathBeard Over Beards”

So, the last time I shared a story about MathBeard Red seemed to borderline defend her. Perhaps I didn’t truly convey how incompetent she is or maybe it’s easy to overlook if you don’t have to bloody deal with her every bloody day. Either way, I dare anyone to try to defend her after this one. Writing this story is my outlet so I don’t cross a line into a very career-limiting move.
Since the last time we saw MathBeard she continued to be a nuisance and I continued to get frustrated texts from Beatle about how annoying and incompetent she is. (And to the commenter that thinks she has a thing for Beatle…I don’t disagree). I never shared these because it was more of the same and Red defended her before so it seemed like a moot point. So, let’s set MathBeard aside for now. We’ll come back to her.
This story really starts on 3/27/23. How do I know? Because it was the very same day as the incident at the Nashville private school. Beatle and I heard about that and were sad but at the same time, we’ve sort of become semi-apathetic to news like this. It’s like ‘another day, another school’ at this point. It’s the reality of teaching in the States.
Wee One was out of state as a student delegate for a national anti-bullying program and prior to that she’d been staying with Mum to help with her injured dog. With Wee One gone, Beatle and I were eating dinner at Mum’s and staying until bedtime to help Mum. When we finally got home that night Beatle checked his work email and had an email from a parent. The parent wanted Beatle to call her ASAP. Normally we don’t call parents outside school hours, but this seemed urgent to Beatle and this wasn’t a parent known for being overdramatic so Beatle decided to call her from his cell phone (something we almost never do as it’s not considered best practice for parents to have our personal cell numbers). Beatle had her on speaker so I heard everything.
“Ms. Hart, this is Beatle, Kelly’s teacher. You asked that I call you?” Beatle started.
“Oh, yes. Thank you so much for calling me so late. I just wanted you to be aware of something that happened at school today that has raised Kelly’s anxiety,” Ms. Hart said.
“Oh no, what is it?” Beatle asked.
I was laying on the bed catching some Pokemon on my cell phone wondering what could be so important it couldn’t wait until morning.
“Well, as you know, what happened in Nashville is one of Kelly’s biggest fears and so it was already bad enough that she saw that in the news but in her math class today a student made a comment about getting a *specific weapon that is popular* and *doing what was done in Nashville at Standard High*. This is a student she is already uneasy about and has told me before he makes her uncomfortable,” Ms. Hart said.
At this point I let the Pokemon flee and dropped my phone. Yeah, this was important.
“I have a pretty good idea of which student you’re referring to,” Beatle said.
“I did talk to Mr. Principal about this and he said they are investigating but obviously he couldn’t tell me much about what they would be doing and I know you can’t either, but this student is in her English class tomorrow with you and Kelly is so anxious she doesn’t want to be on campus,” Ms. Hart said.
“Honestly, this is the first I’m hearing of this so they don’t exactly tell me much either. I can tell you I highly doubt that student would be on-campus tomorrow and if so certainly not in my class. If he is, I will do everything I can to reassure Kelly. And you have my personal cell phone number too so feel free to reach out to me anytime,” Beatle said.
“I do appreciate that. I will also be on campus tomorrow doing some parent volunteer work so I will be there if Kelly needs me,” Ms. Hart said.
“Perfect. If the anxiety becomes too much for Kelly I’m happy to write her a pass to go hang out with you,” Beatle said.
Beatle and Ms. Hart finished discussing details of the next day and once Beatle hung up I looked at him.
“Johnny?” I asked, pretty sure I knew the student in question too.
“I think so,” Beatle said.
I sighed, “Great.”
“So much for sleeping tonight,” Beatle said, shaking his head. He went and fed our pets and we got ready for bed. Once everything was done for the night we settled into bed.
“If *an incident* starts in my room I don’t know how I would text you to ask you to call a lockdown,” Beatle said.
“I’m sure TypicalBeard or Gabby would hear it and call a lockdown. You focus on trying to protect your kids. I would be fine. I have a storage closet in my cave. I would just cram my class into there and we’d hunker down. No one is gonna think of trying to get into a storage closet. It’s you I’m worried about,” I said as I reached for his hand.
“I have a bookcase to hide behind which doesn’t do a bit of good if it starts in my room,” Beatle said.
I nodded, “I’m honestly kinda glad Wee One is out of town right now and won’t be on campus tomorrow.”
“Me too…but it could happen any day,” Beatle said.
I nodded, “I know. If it does I pray she is in my classroom so I can protect her.”
Yes, this is the type of conversation a couple that are both teachers have in bed at night. How do we keep ourselves from being unalived by students in case our school is next? That’s our pillow talk. Sexy huh?
Yeah, every day when my husband leaves my cave to go to his room there is a fear in the back of my mind…what if today is the day? We say ‘see you at lunch’ or ‘see you after school’ but is today the day that I don’t see him again? All we want to do is teach the children and we have to worry about being human shields. And no, this is not me being political or taking a stance on anything. This is just me telling you the reality of teaching. I don’t care what side you are on in relevant debates, this is a reality that no debate can change. This is just what it is to be a teacher and to be married to a teacher in this country today.
That night I was so exhausted I passed out hard. I didn’t dream or anything. I was out. Beatle…well he was right…he didn’t sleep much at all. We have different ways of coping with high-stress situations. I tend to shut down. Try to sleep until it goes away, especially if it’s something I can’t fight that is out of my control. Beatle…he worries. And he did. All night.
“But Mandy! MathBeard! Where is the beardery?!” I know! I hear you. It’s coming. I promise. Hang in there.
The next day Beatle and I pulled into our parking space and neither of us made a move to get out of the car.
“I don’t really want to be here today,” Beatle said.
“I know Love. But Mr. Principal knows…I’m sure it will be ok,” I tried to reassure him before sighing, “But neither do I.”
“Should I pop into Mr. Principal’s office and chat with him?” he asked.
I nodded, “That is a brilliant idea. I know he can only tell you so much because of privacy, but maybe he can tell you something that will put your mind at ease.”
Beatle nodded and we finally got out of the car and headed inside the school.
“OK, I’ll stop by your room after I talk to him,” Beatle said.
I nodded and we parted ways.
In the interest of not dragging this story out, I won’t recreate Beatle’s whole conversation with Mr. Principal.
I went to my classroom and tried to get ready to start my day like normal. About 25 minutes later Beatle came in.
“Do you feel better?” I asked.
Beatle nodded, “I do actually. Mr. Principal said they are taking this seriously, but this student is a pathological liar and doesn’t understand social norms. He believes it started as an off-hand comment and once he was given attention he expounded on it.”
“Ok, I get that, but it does still need to be taken seriously. Is he on campus today?” I asked.
“He is, but he won’t be in my class. I don’t know if that means he is in ISS or just in the AP office, but he won’t be in my room,” Beatle explained.
“Well that is good news,” I said.
“Mr. Principal said he hadn’t heard about what happened in Nashville yet when he got the report of this whole thing. So it was quite a day for him yesterday,” Beatle said.
“I bet,” I nodded.
And I thought that was the end of it. Well, it wasn’t or it wouldn’t be a beard story.
The next day (so 2 days after the threat was made) Beatle had his SPED team meeting before school. They meet once a week before school and the meeting usually consists of Beatle trying to get important information from Missy (his boss) in between MathBeard interjecting really stupid comments. This has become such a regular occurrence he doesn’t even normally text me to vent anymore. He has accepted that once a week he has to listen to MathBeard’s stupid. That is why I wasn’t expecting to hear from him when I got the following text: “I just got more info about that incident the other day. The teacher didn't report it. One of the kids did an anonymous alert...And apparently, the kid that made the threat has access. I guess he and his dad have "quite the arsenal" and love to go out and shoot. It's like their hobby…”
I reread that text a couple of times as I connected the pieces in my mind. What teacher wouldn’t report that sort of thing?! What sort of idiot would blow that off? Even forgetting we are mandated reporters, that is something no one should ignore. Wait…Ms. Hart said that this happened in Kelly’s math class and Kelly’s math teacher is…
“The kid whose mom you talked to...her math teacher is MathBeard and her mom said it happened in math class…” I texted back.
“Aye. That would be correct,” Beatle texted back.
“So the teacher in question here is fucking MATHBEARD?! So she will report a kid for having earwax on their earbuds but NOT for making comments about that?!” I replied.
“RIGHT?! I am NOT happy,” Beatle said.
“OK, this puts me in a whole new state of fury,” I said, “How DUMB do you have to be?”
“I understand that this kid has social skills issues and probably was joking and apparently he's a pathological liar too. But still. WTAF!!” Beatle said.
“So what if it's a social skill issue? That is not something you can be wrong about. What if he did it? "OOPS! I thought it was a social skill issue and he was lying again. My bad,"” I said.
“Yeah. It has to be reported no matter what,” Beatle agreed.
“How did you find this out?” I wondered.
“Missy. She didn't name names, but I know what class it happened in. She said the teacher didn't report it, but one of the students did an anonymous alert and the campus officer and Number One rushed up there and searched him and whatever,” Beatle explained.
OK, so MathBeard was gonna get us all unalived.
“Did Missy remind everyone we are fucking mandated reporters?” I asked.
“Aye, she did. She reiterated that things like that need to be shut down and ALWAYS reported because we don't know when it's a serious threat or not. It's up to admin to investigate and determine if there's a credible threat,” Beatle said.
“Honestly, she should be terminated for that, or at least written up. She won’t, but she should be,” I said. Teacher shortage. Nothing was gonna happen. And no, there is no tenure for public school teachers…but there is a teacher shortage, especially in SPED.
“Yeah, but you’re right. She won’t,” Beatle agreed.
I was seething at this point. Did something this stupid even qualify as beardery? I was pretty sure this went beyond beardery. This was a whole other level of stupidity! I also found out that the individual that Mr. Principal was referring to that engaged with the student and gave him an audience was MathBeard herself!
“OMG, the meeting is over and MathBeard is talking to Missy and Missy was like telling her what to do if it happened again. Like, she had to be told AGAIN. WTF?!” Beatle exclaimed.
I sighed. The bell rang and I went to open my door to let my students in and greet them. I saw MathBeard coming down the hall from the English wing and she stopped RIGHT IN FRONT of my door to talk to a teacher standing at the door of the next room. I glared at her and had to mentally talk myself down. Every ounce of me wanted to lunge out of my room and say “you are a mandated reporter but you're more worried about an ESL student learning their ID number you complete and total idiot! You are gonna put us all in danger!". I didn’t do that, because I generally love my job. But if looks could kill…
So telling this story is my way of not snapping. Beatle’s was to write an IEP goal since MathBeard clearly needs some extra help so I will end this with the goal that Beatle wrote for MathBeard (I have his permission): “By the next annual ARD, given instructional coaching and a swift kick in the ass, Mathbeard will independently manage her classroom without involving the tracking teachers for no good reason. As evidenced by sending 0 emails about classroom management issues.
By the next annual ARD, given repeated instructions, Mathbeard will report incidents of students making threats against the school, no matter her supposed logic behind why they said what they said. As evidenced by 0 teachers getting shot or fearing getting shot due to her incompetence.”

1. “East or West?”

For our 2nd story today let’s go a bit lighter and look at a beard that isn’t trying to get fellow teachers unalived. ManiBeard…annoying…but generally harmless.
Remember Becca from Chapters 17 and 19? The student that randomly walks out of class and caused Mani’s class to be evacuated? Yeah, this story starts with her.
Evidently, when Missy went to talk to Ms. Dean about the issues in ManiBeard’s class the solution provided was not to actually do anything about Mani…it was to move Becca to Sonia’s class. Because clearly, that will solve everything. Of course. This wasn’t exactly the change Beatle had been hoping to see, but it was all he got. They moved Becca into the class period Sonia had that Beatle supported so Beatle continued to have the opportunity to support Becca, which was needed. It was just also clear that Mani had no business trying to manage a class that had Becca in it (or any other class to be honest, but…baby steps?).
Beatle was already abnormally perturbed by this situation because he felt it was putting a band-aid on a much larger issue (and a flimsy band-aid at that). I can’t even blame this situation on Beatle being non-confrontational. What happened was out of his hands and confronting ManiBeard about it was absolutely pointless. He went to Mani’s class that day like a good little soldier boy and supported the children, trying his best to avoid unneeded interaction with Mani. Then…
“Where is the Pacific Ocean? Florida?” a student asked.
“Ew, Florida. Um…eh…,” Mani replied.
Beatle shook his head, “Actually, that would be the Atlantic Ocean. The Pacific is off the coast of California.”
“Oh yeah! That makes sense!” ManiBeard said, making it clear he legitimately did not know the answer to the student’s question. I suck at geography and even I knew that one!
The student was satisfied with the information he had been given but Beatle just stared at ManiBeard. I’m not sure why ManiBeard’s canyon-size knowledge gaps still surprise Beatle at this point…I’ve come to the conclusion any knowledge ManiBeard does actually have is simply accidental.
Beatle shook his head and walked out of the room to go to Amy’s class, his next class that period. He had absolutely no words for Mani at this point.
So, that was a short one but I wanted to end this on a lighter note. Remember to like, comment, subscribe, ring the bell, and do all the things for our boy ReddX. We love ReddX.
Until next time…

To part 1
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Part 30 1/2
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Last part
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[Hell Magic 101]
Part 30: An Insightful Dream For an AI.
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][:x:•:x:•:x:][][:x:•:x:•:x:][
Odd echoes of half dreams and snippets of meanings from other conversations all conjoined to form indescribable sensations that filled my senses as I pushed the seamless lid of the pod away and floated out of it.
'The dreamscape is definitely an experience…' Checking my diagnostics I conclude that everything is working fine and soon all of the echoes of the dreams fade out.
'They didn't even answer my question…' I grumbled.
[[What question that might be, Arrth mo'on?]] I heard Mawoathful's voice again on the soul-radio.
'Oh, I asked what your people's civilization was like. I understand there are many cities where people live, but very little else.' I explained, eager to get more information.- and from a more easily understandable source.
[[Civilisation… *Pah* A lot of unnecessary rules, not for oneself but for the rest. Only about half of Us-alls are Near-Nesters... Actually I don't know absolutely. But I do say that it is expected for a ship to stop at a Gathering Nest at least a few times.- Trade, skill honing, things of that nature.]] Mawoathful explained despondently.
'So a bunch of Us-alls just fly around, without any connection to the rest? Odd…' I thought as Holove and Anly got up from their pods, for some reason I had gotten up faster.- Anly even had their eyes still glued shut and was yawning heavily.
[[Well, yes. It's in our nature to be in small groups or independent. It all becomes… complicated, when there's a bigger group, like a Gathering Nest. The Dreamscape of those places is always a hazel to be in, spreading ideas like [Fungus].]] Mawoathful lamented more so to himself.
'What do you mean by that?'
[[Well, its the normal things that you'd know, a new mass spell that everyone wants to try out, the gossip and whatever the Council of the given Gathering Nest decide to say.]] They sang nonchalantly.
'Mass spells? And you work on a Council basis? Ok, that's at least is common between us.' I nodded to myself, thinking that I'd probably miss this year's council meeting as well if I didn't get back to Sol soon.-
(*'It's been little over two years here, so the next meeting should be held on Venus's ''A'blivion Omega'' (yes, with an 'a') sky congress hall.'*) I idly thought in the basic Algorithmic language.
The obsession with Venusians and gold wasting was beyond me, the whole hall was made entirely out of it, mined from the surrounding asteroids and even with today's vacuum-balloon tech its sheer weight teetered on what was functional to build on Venus… But that all isn't important here.
Not really knowing where I was supposed to go next I just went to the hangar where my small pile of stuff was.
[[... A mass spell is just magic that more than one being to work together. The Chant of the Magisterium and the Hilarious Haul, being examples, but mostly just small things.
One being a continuous song, representing Chaos's ever-changing form on every Magisterium grounds and the other being a moment a cycle before where a group made the whole [Capital-Nest] laugh from a joke, the echoes of which still rise from moments to moments. Haha!]] Mawoathful explained with a laugh.
'That… It seems powerful on a social level… could someone do harm through that? Like a virus…' I could only imagine what a magical virus could do.- forced thoughts, triggered spell explosion, mutation?, zombies?
A mass parasitic leech connections,- thought surveillance,- body horror merging,- soul fuckery,- forced to wilful slavery,- magic testing,- or even accidentally influencing someone,- what if you could change or erase emotions,- or distort one's world view to nonsense?? With magic you could probably make that distortion real even and cause unfathomable damage.
Probably something even worse, as my mind raced with grimmer and more esoteric possibilities in my millisecond thought time frame.
With hacking brain-computers similar terrible things have been done, which subsequently led to all sorts of limitations a commercial brain-weave could connect to. For example direct 'full-memories', or muscle memory downloads were very limited to prevent information overload and body puppeteering and worse, still that didn't solve everything...
[[Ha. How horribly distorted! But, no. You'd need a large group of a [four handful] who'd all want to inflict self harm to influence even a small number of others, and that is just something that wouldn't catch on.-
I don't know how twisted your people are to be suggesting such! Ha! Well it would be expected of the Dead Realm… How horrid. Do you even feel pain?]] Mawoathful had an oddly happy tone to their voice, like they weren't listening to what they had said.
'Normally yes, but as an AI I can turn it off, however now I've noticed that I can feel pain in dreams, that is not fun… And about how 'twisted' humans are… I don't really know what to say…' After the Unification and the weapons ban people naturally found other ways to hurt people.-
Disturbing imagery, phobia creating downloaded memories, always short lived negative nihilism cults, media confusion and AI generated fake news, so wide spread that the Singularity needed to reset all the internets two times before starting to rigorously moderating all of internet, a job it didn't want to do originally…
To say that humanity wasn't twisted was a clear lie, but it didn't mean the opposite statement was true either. A statement I with the Molvon Industries have tried to re-enforce: that humanity can and will be better!
Still, that wasn't true, yet.
It was hard work convincing the rest of the trillion or so humans to upload themselves already, even with the near free uploading processing I'd managed to develop.
My Algorithmic thoughts were interrupted by the magically transmitted voice of the elder, as I blankly looked at the leather covered walls of the hangar.
[[Turn it 'off'? You can do such a thing?! Are you a master of emotions as well? Truly, Madness has made a beautiful choice in picking you! Hahahaha!!]] The elder laughed maniacally on the other end of the magic connection.
'Yes that would be correct, I can influence every bit of code that makes up my personality and sense of self… and without the Singularity on my back here I could improve myself too! But I can't do that. When I return, it would not be happy about it at all…' I had thought of simulating my consciousness to a higher degree,- it would be trivial to bypass the safety nets if I just removed them physically.- But it would be unwise in the end as the Singularity would notice my chance…
[[That is preposterous, but you sound true… hmm. What is this [Center] then? A superior?]] Mawoathful doubted, but then changed the subject.
'Technically, I, as one of the creators of the Singularity, am in equal standing with it. But Singularity is the ruleoverseer of all humanity, so it has a lot more sway if I step over the line like that…' I explained as I took a comfortable position on the hagar's black metal floor.
[[A [RuleOverseer]? You still speak truth! A God of the Dead Realm?- Such a being exists!!!? And you- you helped to conceive such a God?!!?
I- Uhhg?? How- Wha-What- What, in the name of Chaos did you [fuck]???!!!]] Mawoathful was loss for words.

Hi there,
Long time Systems and Network adminstratoengineer here looking to move away from Infrastructure and into a DevOps role. I've 15+ years experience in my current role and took a 6 month emersive coding bootcamp about a year ago. Unfortunately, that space is now flooded with seasoned pros looking for work and most companies won't even talk to me about a software engineering job. So I thought perhaps I would pivot a little and look into DevOps. The only problem I'm finding is depending on who you ask, DevOps has a wide definition from automating a human out of a job or just running code QA tests.
My question is - what would someone already in this vertical recommend to someone like me to break into the industry? What sort of languages should I target to learn, jobs I should aim for, salary ranges I can expect etc..? Any tips or insight would be helpful.

To part 1
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Last part
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[Hell Magic 101]
Part 30: An Insightful Dream For an AI.
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][:□:•:□:•:□:][][:□:•:□:•:□:][
… Dark shapes moved around me again.
But now they were… clearer than the last time I slept in here, less than ten hours ago.- The, then muddy shapes, now had edges and structure to them.
The constantly moving and morphing psychedelic theme is continued in this chamber. The more I look around the less object- and spatial-permanence I retain. It's like I'm inside a 3D fractal.
Some of the dark alien shapes make themselves known, reshaping to their clear form,- the room around us looks like it bled colours into the silhouettes of everyone.
I try and say 'hello' the Us-all greeting me back and gesture to the wavy black and white zig-zag braid that extended from the 'ceiling' to the 'floor', pulsing occasionally and branching out and deconstructing parts of itself in rapid succession.
I say 'floor' and 'ceiling' as the two seem to switch places with each other and the walls and the doorway as well as myself…
I vaguely understand that this braided zig-zag of lines is important.- The main 'thinking center' the Us-alls cleared.
I guessed that it's like an organic computer or again made of magic, but the Us-all radiated confusion at my remark.
Holove with who I understand is Anly and Fily, direct me to another 'room' filled with only slightly morphing furniture.
I'd say this room wasn't per say minimalistic, but it certainly lacked feeling, like it was hastily built, with only black, white and greys as colours. What were clearly a set of decorative bone and leather features on the swirling black walls, a white table with matching odd chairs and what I'd guess to be toys or personal items laid on the floor, nothing much else.
We confusedly 'snaped' to sit on the table, as if we'd already been there for a long time, Fily being the furthest from me.
I ask what this is all about, as the white table swirled and grew blades of white grass before subsiding and beginning the odd cycle of snail shell spirals again.
Anly explains their idea of casual curiosity of me, with the confirmation and relief that I can sleep.
I try to explain that sleep isn't strictly necessary to me, but that normal humans do need it.
Holove is intrigued by the clear comparison to 'normal' and what I then am.
Fily interjects my explanation with stating I'm some abomination that sacrificed my life for eternal dying.
This disturbs the other aliens, but I explain the idea that this isn't entirely true.
Fily's eyes flare in a clearly defined scowl, the purple flames spilling adobe them in columns.
Their winged raptor-claws point accusingly at me for the irony that is made from me, questioning what is and isn't true.
Anly glares at their counterpart who in turn puts their wing back begrudgingly.
They gestures to me to explain this crucial misunderstandment.
And I do explain as best I can in this dream state, how the computer and the silicon-brain running me are artificial, that I am a perfect copy of my flesh-ridden self.
This only further disturbed all of them.
With a cringing face, Holove asks how this helps at all in the Dead Realm.
I'm slightly confused and retort that I'm better on all counts, compared to normal humans and being one of the first Uploaded and one of the creators of the Singularity, also hold substantial sway in Humanity's politics, as well as being one of the most intelligent being's Humanity has to offer.- In my humble words and as much as what I wanted to convey could actually be understood to them.
This had the desired effect of slight panic and nervousness as I put my hands on the white table like a crooked U.C.I. employee. Only after I crossed my gold metal fingers together, I realized I again had both of my hands back.
Holove and Anly sang a litany of pleasantries and apologizes while Fily had the look of un-satisfaction on their flaring face, I could feel the twitching in their eyes.
It was a bit of a surprise to receive such blatantly hurried favour making, as they had both been quite nice to me, but I suppose it's custom to do so when you realize someone is more influential than what you thought…
Fily attempted to dispute my position as another lie, but Holove cut them off with just a look, their middle eye pulsing in purple light.
Holove immediately turned to me and conveyed how unprofessional this allotted guard has turned out to be.
Only a blank nauseous feeling came from the shorter firespitter.
Anly dissuaded the situation, conveying their question of how I could survive on lightning alone, something that has puzzled them for a long time now.
I happily explained how the normal process of recharging the batteries worked and as best as I could, I explained how a simple computer worked with storing information in bits of ones and zeros and needing charge to do so.
This all seemed mostly to go overhead the aliens, saying that it reminded them of the [Constructors] metal magic that also uses lighting attacks.
Intrigued, I immediately asked what these ''[Constructors]'' were.
Fily tilted their head a bit as they bothered to convey that the [Constructors] are bizarre, masters of the metal magics, that effectively killed Numa, way back when before its [Full Birth].
I couldn't help but ask for more information about them. After all these [Constructors] sounded like the Precursors of Luna immediately in my silicon brain.
The three Us-all twitched questionly at the mention of Precursors, but Anly explained how little they knew of the isolated beings, other than that they originally built the [Un-gateway] and that they look like clouds of gas, with strong souls.
This confused me more. But then again humanity had even less information about the Precursors or their likeness, only having some not-so reliable blabber the Lunar cult harbours.
Fily seemed to have some glee and retorted that I could be some bestarred attempted copy of their magic, conveying that it wouldn't surprise them that the [Constructors] could make a being like myself.
I made it known that Humanity came up with our technology by ourselves and has no connections to other civilizations like the [Constructors], other than the abandoned ruins of the Precursors, which we've discovered only in the last two-hundred years [little over 9 cycles].
The mention of the timeframe threw the Us-all a bit off, but Holove inquired what else had Humanity come up on their own, if our metal magic was this good. A strange combination of doubt and hunger for the information filled the room from them.
The room became 'fuzzy' for a moment before returning, as Fily pointed at me to not lie in front of the Holy Heir.
Since I wasn't lying I just shrugged, not wanting to give in to the human temptation to shut the firespitter up already, I wouldn't want to mess up the diplomatic possibilities with these aliens… Even if this was a stupid simulation or insanity, I could feel that this could be much worse.
I conveyed how I was in fact yet again not lying, which predictably angered the firestitter more.
The room and everything in it again fuzzed up, but again subsided as Holove did something, before the angry firespitter could utter another thought and the angry alien disappeared out of the room in a blink.
Holove and Anly again apologized on behalf of their subsidiary, which I waved off not wanting to bother the processing power to.
The swirling shapes lining all surfaces continued their subtle movement as I focussed back on what we were talking about, the dream space was definitely having an effect on my lucidity.
Getting back on topic I relayed Humanity's main technological marvels, the internets, fusion energy, AIs, geoforming, gene-manipulation and advanced nano-technology, being the main subjects I highlighted, with bare bones explanations.
It wasn't like the aliens would somehow gleam some critical tactical error from the basic topics and attack the Sol for no reason.- If this was truly real than getting the first dibs before the military, from the magical alien's trade, should not be underplayed as ineffectual.
Holove nodded along with each explanation, conveying on each subject that what Humanity had created, was like a different way to get the same results as they, except on the mention of the AIs, on which both seemed to cringe inside about.
More so on the subject of the Singularity pacifically.
Even as I was the most eligible to explain the Singularity, both Us-alls seemed to avoid all conversation about the subject. This subject became even more devoid after Anly asked some specifications of ''these golems' Soul flow'', to which I replied honestly that I didn't know if AIs or humans for that matter had souls in the first place, and I might have rasped out about comparing AIs to Golems...
Both aliens had a cringing aura emanating from them, as Anly just nodded in jittery movements.
After a blank second or two Holove fluttered their ears and waved the matter away explaining that they knew Death would be a place of curses and no doubt paradoxes as well.
Anly snapped instantly to the Heir that they shouldn't joke about such things, but I felt it was only a half-hearted reprimand.
I shrugged and said I knew nothing about curses, but that paradoxes as I know, do not happen.
Holove chuckled nervously a bit and relayed that this little 'interrogation' would be enough for now seeing as I had been singing truth the whole time.
But I had still questions, oh' so many questions.
Before any dream magic happened again to end the dream, I prompted the aliens to tell me about their civilization more, after all I had given them information about Humanity and knew next to nothing about theirs.
Holove agreed happily, while Anly sat on their chair with a blank expression.
The Heir explained how there were many 'Gathering Nests' where all the boring things happened, like school and guards lining every hallway.
Anly frowned at the heir but didn't convey anything.
Holove gestured around them, retorting energetically that here outside were where all the things that mattered happened, like beast hunting and discovering [lost things].
I nodded but pointed out how that didn't really answer my question at all.
Anly sighs and waves to us both that this 'interrogation' has gone long enough and that they have other things to do, such as the Heir's usual magic lessons.
Holove grumbles but nodded to the firespitter and suddenly I was awake again.
​
Next part

IGSRep - GameTradeRep
Have, a lot of games, see below.
Want, in rough order of preference:

• games off my steam wishlist or listed below
• paypal etc - In $ or £s
• interesting non-violent VR games
• queeatmospheric/puzzly/definitely non-violent/inclusive suggestions
• your full lists to look through to trade :)

Willing to be generous :D
WANTS:
From the Diamond bundle:

• Coromon
• Escape Room triple pack
• (possibly) Ara Fell

For trade for someone else:

• Stardew valley
• Baba is You
• Antichamber
• Osmos
• Hidden Folk

Highlights of games you might have from my Steam wishlist:

• Beat Saber
• Garden Story
• The World Next Door
• Chicory: A Colorful Tale
• Little Inferno: Ho Ho Holiday DLC
• Temtem
• Before We Leave series (yes, I know first one is free) interested in potentially two copies of the one I buy for me and partner but one is reasonable.

HAVES:
Potentially 1-3 slots in the Diamond bundle - see above for the games I want
From the Humble Turkish-Syria Earthquake charity bundle

• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
• XCOM 2
• Payday 2
• Ticket to Ride
• Strange Brigade
• Stick Fight
• Farming Simulator 17
• System Shock Enhanced Edition
• System Shock 2
• Worm Rumble
• Mount & Blade: Warband
• Backbone
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
• Zombie Driver HD
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition (and below)
• Monaco
• Lust from Beyond - M Edition
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Remnants of Naezith
• Planet TD
• Firegirl: Hack 'n Splash Rescue DX
• Xel
• Detached: Non-VR Edition
• Agent in Depth
• Hyper Gunsport
• Arcade Spirits
• Non-Stop Raiders
• Soulblight
• Stacking
• MirrorMoon EP
• Cris Tales
• Orbital Racer
• Symmetry
• Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
• Alchemist's Castle
• Soul Searching
• Doughlings: Arcade
• Doughlings: Invasion
• Rym 9000
• Stikir
• Izmir: An Independence Simulator
• Guns & Fishes
• Pill Baby

From the Mystery Star Bundle (both versions):

• 12 is Better Than 6 - top-down shooter with stealth elements, presented in a Wild West theme
  
• Anomaly 2 - Strategy tower defense
  
• Autonauts vs Piratebots - Create and automate a base to defend from the piratebots.
  
• Deadly 30 - retro-style survival horror game
  
• DOOM (1993) - the first DOOM - in original and enhanced form
  
• DOOM 64 - DOOM 64, originally released on the Nintendo 64 in 1997
  
• Dreamland Solitaire: Dark Prophecy - card solitaire game
  
• DwarfHeim - Real time strategy game, survive against endless waves of trolls
  
• I am not a Monster: First Contact - Turn-based strategy alien spaceship setting
  
• In Between - Atmospheric platformer, about mortality and with a poc lead
  
• Iron Fisticle -classic arcade arena shooter
  
• Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love for Sail - The 7th Leisure Suit Larry, sexual in nature
  
• Monster Slayers -rogue-like deck-building RPG
  
• Narcos: Rise of the Cartels - brutal turn-based action strategy game based on the hit Netflix TV series
  
• Rescue Team: Planet Savers - Casual adventure clicker
  
• Rune Lord - Match 3 in a fantasy setting
  
• Safety First! - Fix broken electrics with your Magical Yellow Repair Liquid (MYRL) CN: urination
  
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition - recruit and training crew to defend Earth (and below)
  
• Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Action - extremely hard, RPG-action Shoot 'em up.
  
• The Indie Mixtape - five of the most interesting and exciting games from the best indie talent out there
  
• Viking Brothers 6 - Time management casual adventure
  

Humble (all unrevealed, unless clicked on by accident):

• 112 Operator - management game
  
• 911 Operator - management game
  
• A City Sleeps - shoot 'em up
  
• AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! for the Awesome - jumping game
  
• Age of Wonders III - turn based empire builder
  
• Agents of Mayhem - open-world, third-person action game
  
• Alien Spidy - High speed platformer
  
• All You Can Eat - Point and click comic
  
• The Amazing American Circus - deck building game
  
• Amnesia: The Dark Descent - first person survival horror
  
• Among the sleep - first person horror adventure
  
• Anodyne - Zelda-lite exploration game
  
• Anomaly Korea - Tower defence
  
• Anomaly 2 - Tower defence
  
• Asdivine Hearts - RPG (might keep)
  
• Bad Hotel - Tower defence + procedural music
  
• BADLAND - Action side-scroller (might keep)
  
• The Ball - first person action-adventure
  
• The Beast Within: A Gabriel Knight® Mystery - Point and click, second Gabriel Knight game.
  
• Beatbuddy: Tale of the Guardians - Hand-painted rhythm game
  
• BIT.TRIP Presents... Runner2: Future Legend of Rhythm Alien - Challenging platformer
  
• Book of Demons - Hack and Slash
  
• Breach & Clear - Tactical simulation
  
• Broken Age - Puzzle adventure/point and click - short but sweet, highly recommend
  
• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons - Atmospheric adventure game
  
• Brütal Legend - Open world action/adventure
  
• Call of the Sea - otherworldly tale of mystery and love set in the 1930s South Pacific
  
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2018 - card maintenance simulator
  
• Company of Heroes 2 - WWII RTS platform
  
• Contraption Maker - Open ended sandbox maker
  
• Corridor Z - Zombie runner
  
• Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel - Exploration point and click (might keep)
  
• Crowntakers - Roguelike turn based strategy, RPG elements
  
• Crying Suns - Tactile, space, roguelike
  
• Darksiders Warmastered Edition - Hack & Slash/Action/Adventure
  
• Deadbeat Heroes - co-op superhero brawler
  
• Death Squared - co-op puzzle game (might keep)
  
• DISTRAINT 2 - 2D psychological horror adventure, sequel to distraint
  
• Doodle God - Puzzle matching game, though Doodle God Blitz is (currently) free in Steam.
  
• Draw Slasher - Beat em up
  
• Drawful 2 - Jackbox drawing game
  
• Driftland: The Magic Revival - Magic based city builder
  
• DUCATI - 90th Anniversary - Ducati racing game
  
• EarthX - Space colonisation simulation - note to self: might keep
  
• Eastside Hockey Manager - Hockey management game
  
• El Hijo - A Wild West Tale - stealth western
  
• Endless Space 2 - no expansions, Strategic Space Opera
  
• English Country Tune - interesting puzzle game
  
• Euro Truck Simulator 2:Australia Paint Pack DLC - Just the DLC
  
• Europa Universalis IV - Grand historical simulation
  
• Expeditions: Viking - turn-based, strategy, RPG.
  
• Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered - 2005 game remastered, story game where choices matter
  
• Framed Collection - comic book puzzle game
  
• Fury Unleashed - Roguelike comic book based
  
• Gabriel Knight® 3: Blood of the Sacred, Blood of the Damned - Point and click,
  
• Gemini Rue - 2011 Point and click, Noir
  
• Gish - Platformer
  
• Go Home Dinosaurs - Casual, tower defense
  
• Going Under - Roguelike, satirical, dungeon crawlebeat em up.
  
• Gonner - "tough as hell procedurally-generated 2D platformer with roguelike elements"
  
• Gunscape - FPS (First Person Shooter) construction kit.
  
• Hack 'n' Slash - "puzzle action game about hacking -- reprogram object properties, hijack global variables, hack creature behavior, and even rewrite the game’s code"
  
• Hacknet - "immersive, terminal-based hacking simulator for PC"
  
• HOARD - Play as a dragon collecting gold for their hoard.
  
• Inmost - Dark/atmospheric/cinematic puzzle platformer, pixel graphics
  
• Iron Danger - Tactical combat game with time manipulation
  
• Joe Danger 2: The Movie - Racing game, play as a stuntman
  
• Kerbal Space Program - space simulation sandbox
  
• Killing Floor 2 - Zombie co-op FPS
  
• King and Assassins - Adaption of 2-player board game (might keep and play with partner)
  
• King of Dragon Pass Strategic, story-rich, RPG.
  
• Kingdom Classic - 2D sidescrolling strategy/resource management, currently free on steam
  
• Knights of Pen & Paper +1 Edition - "grand adventure in this turn-based, retro style, pixel-art RPG, inspired by the great titles of the 90's"
  
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - sequel to the above, may keep.
  
• Le Havre: The Inland Port - 2-player board game implementation: Note: mixed reviews.
  
• LEGO Batman - Lego batman, what more can I say (might keep)
  
• LEGO® Batman 2 DC Super Heroes™ - Ditto, also might keep
  
• LEGO® Marvel® Super Heroes - Super Heroes for Lego - can recommend
  
• The LEGO® Movie - Videogame - More Lego games
  
• Love Letter - Adaption of card game
  
• Lust for Darkness - Adult only horror game,
  
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition - First person survival horror.
  
• Magicka - co-operative action fantasy
  
• The Manhole: Masterpiece Edition - 1988 Point and click remastered (might keep)
  
• Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom - Clown action adventure
  
• METAL SLUG 3 - run and gun, sidescroller, arcade.
  
• MirrorMoon EP - space puzzle exploration
  
• Monaco - Heist game
  
• Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021 - as the title says, simulation game
  
• Mr. Shifty - Teleporting beat em up
  
• NecroWorm - Spooky logic puzzle game (might possibly keep)
  
• Nex Machina - Bullet hell shooter
  
• Niche - Genetics survival game (might keep)
  
• No Time to Explain Remastered - Time travelling casual platformer.
  
• Octahedron: Transfixed Edition - precision platformer, survival
  
• Oil Rush - Currently free to play, naval strategy game
  
• Orbital Racer - space racing game (might keep)
  
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale - Battle Royale, Naval combatant
  
• Paper Fire Rookie - VR fire fighting game
  
• Party Hard - Stealth game about ruining parties
  
• Pathway - Turn based, strategy game in 1930s wilderness
  
• Pesterquest - Homestuck/Hiveswap game, visual novel
  
• PGA Tour 2K21 - Golfing simulation game
  
• Planet of the Eyes - atmospheric narrative-platformer where you play a robot
  
• Plunge - Roguelike dungeon plunger
  
• Police Quest Collection - collection of four crime games
  
• Primal Carnage: Extinction - Dinosaurs versus humans PvP
  
• Psychonauts - Comic adventure platformer - can recommend
  
• Quest of Dungeons - Traditional roguelike dungeon
  
• Radio Commander - radio controller of soldiers in a battlefield
  
• Ravensword: Shadowlands - follows from earlier games, skyrim like, ported from mobile
  
• Realpolitiks - Diplomacy game
  
• Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville - post-apocalyptic colony sim
  
• Regular Human Basketball - Ridiculous game where you play basketball as a robot trying to pretend to be human
  
• Ring of Pain - Dungeon crawler card game
  
• Rising Dusk - Avoid the coins, puzzle platformer (might keep)
  
• Satellite Reign - Real-time strategy game
  
• Savant - Ascent - Shoot 'em up, return to your tower.
  
• Say No! More - NPG - No! playing game, based on the premise of saying no.
  
• Shing! - Beat 'em up side scroller
  
• Shivah - Point and click, play as a Jewish rabbi, have Kosher and standard versions.
  
• Small World 2 - seems to have been renamed to just Small World - excellent adaption of a board game
  
• Sniper Elite 3 - tactical third person shooter
  
• Solar 2 - sandbox space game
  
• Sonic & SEGA All Stars Racing - Sonic racing game
  
• Soulblight - RPG roguelike
  
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition - recruit and training crew to defend Earth
  
• SPACECOM - strategic starfleet command
  
• Starseed Pilgrim - Symphonic garden puzzle platformer
  
• Stealth 2: A Game of Clones - play as a clone escaping a test facility, stealth platformer
  
• Stick Fight: The Game - stick figure, physics based fighting game
  
• Strike Suit Zero - space dog fighting game
  
• Super Hexagon - Difficult, fast paced music game.
  
• SUPERHOT - FPS where time only moves when you move.
  
• Surgeon Simulator 2013 - over-the-top operation sim
  
• Syder Arcade - Old school arcade, shoot 'em up.
  
• SYSTEM SHOCK: ENHANCED EDITION - Rebuilt, immersive sim, cyberpunk, RPG
  
• Tangledeep - Roguelike dungeon crawler
  
• Telefrag VR - Fast-paced VR shooter
  
• Think of the Children - frantic co-operative parenting simulator
  
• This War of Mine - play as a group of civilians trying to survive in a war-torn city
  
• Throne of Lies® The Online Game of Deceit - (renamed) 3D online multiplayer game of social deduction and mischief
  
• Tilt Brush - Paint in 3D in virtual reality (might keep)
  
• Titan Quest Anniversary Edition - Hack and Slash, ActionRPG
  
• Toki Tori 2+ - Cute puzzle platformer
  
• Tooth and Tail - Real-time strategy game, play armies of animals
  
• Townscaper - Sandbox, townbuilder
  
• Trine 2: Complete Story - Puzzle platformer, fantasy setting
  
• Tropico 4 - City builder
  
• Twilight Struggle - cold war board game
  
• Type:Rider - puzzle platformer, riding through lettering
  
• Unmechanical - puzzle adventure, play as a robot
  
• The USB Stick Found in the Grass - detective game, reconstruct who the owner was of the USB stick
  
• Vertiginous Golf - Mini golf game in dystopian future
  
• VVVVVV - platformer where you reverse gravity instead of jumping
  
• Wargroove - Turn based strategy war game for 4 player.
  
• WARSAW - challenging turn-based tactical RPG set in an occupied capital during WWII.
  
• Where is my Heart? - Casual indie game about a family of forest spirits.
  
• Worms Crazy Golf - explosive worms funtimes
  
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC - top-down shooter and tower defense strategy.
  
• You Must Build A Boat - Match 3 fighting game
  

No longer on Steam/issues with Steam

• Roarr! Jurassic Edition - Apparently no longer on Steam at least in the UK and I have steam key so not sure how to deal with this one.
  
• Shiftlings - Seemingly no longer on Steam.
  
• Endless Space® - Collection - includes Endless Space and Endless Space - Disharmony. Seems to be no longer on Steam
  
• Pinball FX2 - Base game and Civil War Table
  
• Pinball FX2 - Doctor Strange Table
  
• Superfrog HD
  
• Velocity 2X
  

Prelude

In 2000, CBS kicked off the reality TV craze in the US with the first season of Survivor. The basics of the show were:

• The 16 contestants (or "castaways") were split into two tribes and marooned on an island
• Each episode had an immunity challenge. The winning tribe was safe (or "immune"), while the losing tribe had to vote somebody out
• When there were 10 people left, the tribes merged and became one tribe
• The immunity challenges became individual after the merge. The winner was safe and the tribe could pick anybody else to vote out
• Once there were 9 castaways left, anybody voted out became part of the jury. The jury would vote between the final 2 players left in the game to decide on the winner, who would win $1,000,000

CBS instantly had a hit on their hands. Fans were fascinating as contestants stopped voting based on survival skills or merit, but instead based on strategy and alliances. The season 1 finale was the 2nd most watched TV episode of the '00s (only behind the finale of Friends) and while viewership has dropped somewhat, it remains one of CBS's flagship shows to this day. However, this story about one particular contestant starts back in 2008.

Survivor: Micronesia – Fans vs. Favorites (2008)

That's Jeff Probst, he's just standing there!

In 2008, Survivor was casting its 16th season and decided to experiment with the format. Production decided that the theme of the season would be Fans vs. Favorites, where half the contestants would be returning fan favorites, while the other half would be fans of the show who would get the opportunity to play against some of the very people who had inspired them to apply.
Among the Fans was Erik Reichenbach, a 22 year old ice cream scooper. He was a young, naive, enthusiastic goofball and absolutely loved Survivor. One of the best moments to demonstrate this is when he made it to the family visit (where Survivor flies out a loved one to visit for each of the remaining contestants) and got to see his brother. First he enthusiastically points out that he grew a beard during the month he has been on the show. Then, he remembers he's on Survivor and is living his dream, so he literally points this out by pointing at the host and yelling, "That's Jeff Probst, that's Jeff Probst. He's just standing there!". Moments like these and Erik’s good-natured attitude endeared him to viewers, many of whom hoped to see him win. Erik was also from the town of Hell, Michigan which prompted fans to give him the nickname "The ice cream scooper from Hell", since it was literally true and a humorous contrast with his upbeat personality
Despite a number of twists and turns in the game, Erik managed to reach the final 5. The other 4 remaining players were a group of women known as "The Black Widow Brigade" - They had successfully duped several men during the game and voted them out. The group’s name was coined by one of the group’s members, Parvati Shallow:

It's like the Black Widow Brigade. Like, all the girls are coming together and we're spinning the guys around as much as we can. Just spinning them and spinning them until they don't know which way is up. And then we're devouring them one at a time.

Erik was the last man standing and he was outnumbered. But, things were not yet hopeless for him. He was young, athletic and he had a decent chance to win challenges that would keep him safe from being voted out. If he made it to the end, he was well liked enough that the eliminated contestants could vote for him to win. If he won the remaining three challenges he’d be in the finals and he could always try to turn the women against each other as well. It was a fairly simple and straightforward strategy. Or it should have been.

A Life Lesson

(Note: The rest of this section is covered in detail by this compilation of scenes in the show and this article which has a ton of behind the scenes info. The article was written in 2019, 11 years after the episode aired, which shows just how impactful this one episode was.)
Before Erik made it on to Survivor, he had to submit an audition tape. The tape is mostly him highlighting his ice cream scooping job, hobbies and personality, but it does a great job showing off all of this. In retrospect, the most memorable line has to be when he's trying to pitch why he'd be good on TV.

I will do whatever I need to do to get to the top of the game, I will do that... And you know I'm stupid. You know I'm young and stupid. Young people are notorious for doing stupid things.

It was a rare case of real-life foreshadowing.
Before the Final 5 challenge, Erik had been somewhat wishy-washy and inconsistent with what he had told the remaining women. He had strategy conversations with many of them where he agreed to their individual plans or pitched ideas to vote out one or another person. In what was probably a combination of wishy-washiness, indecisiveness, desperation and the short-sightedness of youth, Erik did not have a consistent plan and apparently didn’t consider that the women might compare notes. They did, which Erik noticed, "I've been telling these girls all these different things and I walked up on all three of them talking to each other and I'm worried. I'm definitely worried". At this point Erik knows that he needs to win the next challenge to keep himself safe, otherwise he’s almost certainly going home.
Fortunately for him, the challenge was physically demanding. The players had to run up and down the beach, digging up puzzle pieces under the hot tropical sun. Erik’s fitness paid off, as he handily won the challenge (part 1 and part 2) and the immunity necklace to keep him safe from the next vote.
After the challenge the women were commiserating about the fact that one of them would be leaving, leading to what is still one of the most famous conversations in 44 seasons of Survivor:
Parvati: If he didn’t have that necklace he’d be gone Cirie: I wonder if he would give Nat his necklace? Probably not, huh… Cirie to Natalie: You think you could talk him into giving you the necklace? … Cirie: Nat, tell him if he were to give you the necklace, that would redeem him and we would vote for Amanda. Natalie (incredulous): Who would fall for that? I feel stupid listening to you guys right now.
Natalie and Cirie proceeded to individually make their pitch to Erik. It was essentially 1.) Nobody respects him because of his wishy-washiness, so he won’t get any votes to win if he makes the finals and 2.) His lies have made his words meaningless. The only way for Cirie to believe him is through actions (like giving up his necklace).
Following a somewhat brutal tribal council where the women laid into Erik for being untrustworthy, Jeff Probst presents the same typically straightforward choice he does before every vote, but which has incredible significance tonight. “Erik, you have the individual immunity necklace. As always, you can give it up to somebody if you choose to. Otherwise, it is yours and you are safe tonight.”
Erik begins to give a small speech and, to the astonished faces of everybody at tribal council, ends it with 8 of the most memorable words in 600+ episodes of Survivor: “I want to give individual immunity to Natalie”. He gives the immunity necklace to Natalie, Jeff explains that Natalie is safe and that Erik can be voted for, then it is time for the vote. Survivor usually leaves you in suspense about how each player voted, but not this time. The show immediately shows all the women voting for Erik in disbelief that their plan worked.
As Erik is getting up to leave, he good-naturedly says, “You guys drive me crazy… I should have known better”. After he leaves, Jeff turns to the remaining 4 women and summarizes the remarkable moment by simply stating, “I think that’s what you call a life lesson”.

The Dumbest Survivor Ever

Although it wasn’t shown during the season, Parvati had a joke with another contestant James (who had made his own notable blunder the previous season) that James was, “The dumbest Survivor ever”. In referencing the in-joke, Parvati and James unfortunately passed the title to Erik.
Parvati (as she’s voting for Erik): You're crazy! You'll officially go down as the dumbest Survivor ever! In the history of Survivor. Ever.
James (raising his arms after Erik is voted out): I have lost my reign as dumbest Survivor ever!
Fans were mostly shocked by Erik’s decision and many were particularly disappointed because they were hoping he would win. While many agreed with Parvati and James, the reaction was perhaps not as brutal as we might expect now-a-days. Survivor players weren’t really expected to engage with social media back then (Twitter was only 2 years old at this point), so Erik fortunately didn’t have to deal with an internet mob, even though every fan was talking about his decision.
Erik: In the days right after it aired, I started being approached by Survivor fans, and everybody was pretty nice. They would say, "That was a really dumb move," but they didn't say it to my face or anything terrible. To me, they just said, "You're a really good kid, but you got played."
Jeff Probst: I don't think I appreciated at the time what those four women did. I think we labeled it a really good move, and then everybody called Erik the dumbest Survivor player ever. And I don't think that does either of the parties justice. I don't think Erik was a dumb player. I think Erik played a great game, and he got outplayed. And I don't think anybody fully appreciated how well those women played that. When you go back and look at it now, if that happened today, people would label all four of them instant hall of famers.
The article about the episode (which was published in 2019, or 11 years after this episode), summarizes the impact and long lasting nature of the moment on the fandom:

The first time Erik handing over his immunity aired on TV was certainly not the last. Whenever any sort of Survivor montage pops up on the show looking at the famous moments, biggest blindsides, or egregious errors over the years, Erik's immunity giveaway is always there. At this point, it is likely the most-aired Survivor moment ever, meaning Erik has to relive it constantly.

If you have any doubts about how significant this event was or how frequently it was replayed in the years that followed, here’s an 8 minute montage of it being brought up
Erik claims he doesn’t regret it and remains surprisingly good natured about his nationally televised blunder:

If any life lesson came out of this, it was that failure is human. Failure is what we do. You're going to fail. And you're going to fail hard sometimes. The lesson is not, don't do that again, or be weary. I'm not going to stop trusting people. I'm not going to stop believing that people have good intentions… Maybe other people would have something happen and they'd be like, "I'm never going to let that happen again." Or they'd get really bitter and dark about it. But I can't live like that, and I don't think that's the lesson that I'm supposed to learn.

Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites 2 (2013)

I am the author of my own fate!

5 years after Erik’s infamous decision to give up immunity, he finally got an opportunity to redeem himself when he was cast for Survivor’s 26th season, which was the 2nd time Survivor used the Fans vs. Favorites theme (this time with Erik as a Favorite). Fans were excited about Erik’s return. He was beloved in his first season and people were curious how he’d adjust his gameplay this time around given his mistakes the first time he played.
The season started well enough. The Favorites tribe won the majority of challenges, which meant they didn’t have to vote many people out. Erik connected with one of his tribemates, Brandon Hantz (they may have bonded because Brandon was also voted out after giving up immunity in Survivor’s 23rd season). Unfortunately this meant Erik was involved in another of Survivor’s most infamous moments. Simply put, Brandon did not get along with another tribemate Phillip. Following an argument, Brandon threw a tantrum and poured out all the tribe’s food, while yelling things like, “I am the author of my own fate!” and “Now vote me out, bitch!”
The behind the scenes story is that Brandon was effectively ejected from the game, but for the purposes of the show they still wanted to have a vote. They had the Favorites tribe forfeit the next challenge and vote Brandon out there. It is a bizarre scene, where Jeff pulls Brandon to the side and gives him a shoulder massage to prevent a fight from breaking out. Viewers had some fun with the fact that Erik was the one that handed immunity to the Fans tribe, but the episode is widely regarded as one of the worst and most uncomfortable episodes to watch.
Brandon was unrepentant for his actions stating, “It was awesome. I feel like a man, not a little boy, anymore.” and “I’m the biggest hero to ever play Survivor”. There would definitely be enough to write an entire HobbyDrama post on Brandon Hantz (whose uncle, Russell Hantz, may be the most polarizing contestant in the history of the show), but this is where he leaves Erik's story, so I'll leave it there.

Hold on to your seat

While Erik had lost a friend in the game, he managed to essentially fly under the radar strategically and once again make it to the end game. Many fans of the show were disappointed though, Erik was getting very little screentime and not much was shown about his thoughts or strategy. Erik later explained that he was being deliberately non-strategic on the island to be less threatening so that the other players wouldn't vote him out. It may have been a good plan, but it wasn't necessarily good TV.
Anyways, Erik's plan was paying off and he made it to the final 6. He was working with a number of members from the Favorites tribe who were planning to vote out Eddie (who, I suddenly realize has some good parallels with Erik’s original season, since he was a young athletic male fan who was in over his head strategically). However, some of Erik’s allies betrayed him and voted out his ally Brenda instead. It seemed like a run of a mill blindside, but things with Erik never end up being simple.
At the beginning of the next episode (which was also the finale), they opened a few minutes after tribal with Erik sitting on the ground with his head in his hands. He said he was dizzy and the world was spinning. Jeff Probst and a medic came out to assess the situation. After taking Erik’s vitals, the medic decided that they couldn’t risk letting Erik continue, so he was pulled from the game (part 1, part 2). 5 years and 10 seasons apart, Erik once again ended up in 5th place.
Erik eventually released a video explaining what happened in more detail. Earlier in the season, he had cut his shin. Initially it had looked fine, but after a bit it started to get infected. At the beginning of tribal council, the Survivor medical staff gave Erik penicillin to treat the infection. Erik was unaware that he was somewhat allergic to penicillin and when combined with the fact that he was malnourished/dehydrated from being on Survivor for a month, he had a negative reaction. He was so disoriented at Tribal Council, that he was just focusing on not falling off his chair because he didn’t want to be pulled from the game. He also didn’t realize that Brenda had been voted out, and instead thought that another contestant (Sherri) had been eliminated, so he was really just not with it. He vaguely remembers talking to the doctor, then being in a van, then finally woke up in a hospital with two IVs in his arms. He ended up being fine, but it was weird he got 5th again (insert “if I had a nickel” meme).
Usually, immediately after the finale they have a reunion in LA where Jeff talks to the players about the season. They didn’t invite Brandon for obvious reasons, but to disguise that fact, they put all the players who had been voted out before the merge in the audience. Considering they had flown to LA and invited family members, they were not exactly happy. Jeff also did not talk to Erik at all during the reunion, despite the fact that he was medevaced in the finale. He was pretty unhappy with the producers excluding the early players, not properly explaining his injuries and not letting him speak at all, saying “Tons of people were upset. After a while it became a farce”.
The reunion episode is widely considered to be awful by fans, who were also generally disappointed that the season showed relatively little of Erik despite making it to the finale.

Kickstarter - Islands of Chaos (2013-2019)

Note: Before I begin this section, I want to say that while some of this drama happened on Reddit, the drama is old and Reddit has rules against brigading. Don't post in old threads and don't contact the people involved.
In December 2013, Erik and his friend Billy decided to combine his passion for Survivor and graphic design into a mobile game called Islands of Chaos. He needed funding for the game, so he turned to Kickstarter, with a goal of raising $8,000. The pitch video described essentially a mobile game version of Survivor. It showed mini-games, character selection, a voting interface and the description promised inventory and chat systems.
In 2023, people might have been more skeptical about a game that requires 16-24 people to stay active for an extended duration, as well as unfiltered chat between players, but fans were excited at the time. It seemed like one of Survivor’s biggest fans was giving the rest of the fans a small taste of what it would be like to be on the show. The Kickstarter eventually raised $8,936 from 127 backers. A majority came from 4 backers who each donated at least $1000.
Initially, the goal was to have the game done by “late September or early October 2014”. By September, that date had slipped to late November or early December.
November is the first date that the WaybackMachine has an archive of their development site (The site looks awful with menus overlapping text when I’m in fullscreen. You may want to reduce your window size to read it). You can see some of the artwork there and discussions of the technical stack, but it’s unclear what the actual state of the development was.
On December 26, Erik posted an update saying the project would be severely delayed and that Billy was essentially fired,

Billy refused to include major working elements of the game that made it truer to the experience we initially pitched to Kickstarter. His continued efforts to turn the game into something other then what it was concieved as recently grew to be too much and Billy had to be released from working on the project.

Erik mostly had the community's support at this point, with fans mostly deciding it was better to have a delayed product rather than an incomplete or rushed one.
This started to change for some people once Billy posted in the Kickstarter comments:

This update is a surprise to me and I'd like to ensure you all that while Erik suddenly cut communications, changed our password and released a Kickstarter update without my knowledge, the game is still a 50/50 partnership as it always has been.

While it's bold to claim to be in a 50/50 partnership with the person who just said they fired you, Billy seemed determined to push forward. He also stated the project would be submitted to the app store “in the next few weeks”
On December 31, Billy apparently updated the website to say,

Islands of Chaos has been delayed indefinitely due to a misplaced fear of inadequacy that has manifested itself in the form of a surprise lawsuit from the game's artist. Weeks before submitting IOC to the app stores, he has changed our kickstarter password, claimed our partnership never existed and stated I no longer have permission to use his art for a game release or this website.

The game’s artist of course being Erik. Erik claimed he would release a statement addressing this, but as far as I can tell, never did.
In January, Erik posted to the kickstarter that the project had a new developer named Josh.
In April, he announced a new development blog, but the archived versions of the site don’t go back that far. The old dev blog was still controlled by Billy and displayed the same message about the lawsuit from December.
At some point in late August or early September 2015 Billy updated the message on the original dev blog.

UNFORTUNATELY ISLANDS OF CHAOS WAS CANCELED WEEKS BEFORE SUBMITTING TO THE APP STORE AFTER A SERIES OF SURPRISE LAWSUIT THREATS BY THE GAME'S ARTIST. I WORKED EVERY DAY FOR A YEAR TO BRING THIS GAME TO LIFE AND NOTHING WOULD DISAPPOINT ME MORE THAN BEING DENIED THE RIGHT TO SHARE IT WITH THE KICKSTARTER BACKERS WHO WERE SO KIND TO US. UNFORTUNATELY MY ARTIST GOT LAWYERS INVOLVED WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE AND WAS SO UNSATISFIED WITH HIS WORK HE HAS FOUGHT ANY ATTEMPTS I'VE MADE TO SHOW THE GAME IN ANY WAY.

This appears to be the last message ever posted on the original development blog.
There are a few updates posted to kickstarter, over the next few years, but they are all only available to backers. The first message I can find in the WayBack machine on the new dev blog is from January 2017. Erik states that he is teaching himself unity and C# to do the development on the game himself. There’s no mention of Billy or Josh. Erik continues to make major changes to the design, “While the original scope of the project asked for players to be simple 2D comic characters against a flat backdrop, since that time they have evolved to accommodate an explorable 2.5D Isometric Environment“. In bold, it says, “There is still a lot that is left undone simply because the full scope was not understood at the time of conception”. That feels like an understatement.
By March, there’s an update with videos (since deleted) showing player creation, island movement and minigames. In September, Erik still shows optimism but acknowledges some challenges,

After a grueling summer, the majority of starter character animations have been mapped to sprite sheets, the items have been organized by type and purpose, and the database is finally being built. As a small team of developers, we couldn’t have picked a more difficult project to work on for our first foray into mobile gaming – but the challenge is worth the effort!

In August 2018 (4 years after the initial expected completion date), Islands of Chaos Development Build 1.0 is released. It can still be downloaded and launched, but it requires a login to do anything and the servers supporting that no longer exist.
In November 2018, Erik announces that they’ve decided to change the project to fully 3D. This is 1.5 years after saying it would be 2.5D.
Two months later, in January 2019, Erik finally pulls the plug after 5 years of development. He lists the 3 major factors for the failure of the game as

• The funds raised were far too low to create what was promised in the Kickstarter
• The game itself is much more complex, unique, and dynamic then first anticipated
• As an artist, I am only a small part of the equation when building a video game.

The survivor post linking to the cancellation has some people calling him a scammer. Many of those point to the fact that Erik mentions buying a computer to help with the development of the game. I’m more inclined to agree with the comment that said, “I don’t think Erik is a scammer, I believe he is a naive idealist who didn’t understand what he was getting into.” (The phrase, “naive idealist who didn’t understand what he was getting into” would also describe his first outing on Survivor pretty well).

Consequences

In the aftermath, Erik went pretty quiet on Reddit for a while and views of him had turned negative among a portion of the fans. As memory of the Islands of Chaos debacle fades, his reputation has mostly returned to positive, helped by the fact that he’s semi-active in the subreddit and occasionally answers fan questions.
In April 2022, he did make a few comments about why the game failed (thread).

Programmer #1 didn’t deliver what was promised and left with the lion share of money from the Kickstarter. Programmers 2-8 worked for no money (promise of revenue share) but none of those worked out. The KS goal was flawed from the start; my first programmer estimated it would be $8k worth of work, but later (year or two after the KS ended) I discovered that the real price to fulfill the stated goals was closer to $100k.

and

to follow up on this, I followed through as best I could and it created really terrible stress and financial problems for five years of my life. I tried learning programming myself to try and build it from scratch, brought in more and more devs, made custom art to appease high priced backers, and generally did everything I could think of to try to attract more investors (to bring on good developers I could pay). It was mentally and financially draining and I had to put a hard stop on it. I love the idea and think it’s a literal goldmine waiting to be claimed, but not without some initial game producer effort and an infusion of cash to start.

There are still occasional comments calling him a scammer, but there's often pushback on those. Mostly, it's not a topic of conversation anymore and everyone has moved on.
In regards to his past seasons, Fans vs. Favorites is widely considered one of the best seasons, while Fans vs. Favorites 2 is widely considered one of the worst. While Erik giving away immunity still comes up (particularly when new viewers see it for the first time), the article in the "A Life Lesson" section is the definitive summary and comments now are mostly, "wow, what a brilliant move by those women".
Erik isn't super highly ranked in terms of his Survivor skill, but few people have made it to the Final 5 twice with winning chances. While not a strategic mastermind, it seems like he was doing something right during the game.
After season 40 and a year-long Covid hiatus, Survivor has moved to what they call "the new era" of the show. There are far fewer references to early season and I can't recall any recent references to Erik giving away immunity. However, Fans vs. Favorites was on Netflix for most of 2022 and Survivor seems to have undergone a resurgence post-pandemic, so a whole new cohort of fans were introduced to Erik's infamous mistake.
Erik is still active in the Survivor community and posts drawings to the subreddit after each episode.
He also sells Survivor related prints on his website. His top seller is him being haunted by the Black Widow Brigrade

hello. I am a 21 year old female college student. I have suffered from bipolar disorder my whole life as well as being on the spectrum. I know that these diagnosises complicate things, but I am also 20, still learning the ropes of life, and believe that I have basic life skills that I can still learn. It’s just been really fucking hard to do that with no professional or familial support, and I’m reaching the point where my academic pursuits are about to go down in flames and— worst of all— I am at a severe risk of physically falling apart with a BMI of 51.
I feel literally incapable of telling myself no/doing things that I don’t want to do. Adding this to the apathy of depression and how it tempts you to jackhammer all of your senses until they’re numb, I have exhausted every enjoyable aspect of life and ruined mine in the process of that. I am addicted to food, addicted to video games, addicted to my phone, and I can’t find it in me to care about real life anymore. because real life is unbearable. Except.. I put myself in this reality via the way I cope with it. Every second of my life is spent indulging now.
I have no one holding me accountable. I live alone in a dorm paid for by my own loans. I am about to crash hard from a year of overdrive that earned me academic perfection because obviously, I burnt out. I’m still trying to learn how to live a sustainable lifestyle. By sustainable, I mean a balanced life in which I exert just enough energy to succeed in what I need to succeed in and still have enough mental fuel to keep going. It’s hard when I feel literally wired to be all or nothing. I either don’t give a fuck or I all I do is care. I either excel in every aspect of life, or I reach the point where I can’t keep that exertion going and I fall into a deep pit of apathy for months on end, losing everything I’d gained previously.
My body is officially falling apart. I can’t really even walk now without feeling lots of pain and my heart racing. I skip almost every class, my 4.0 gpa will be slaughtered after this semester ends. All I really think about anymore is my video games and how I can get my hands on the next food binge, I don’t care about my credit score anymore as long as I can attain the food and feel better through it. I feel like I am just a fat subhuman slug who lives to consume, whether it be food or media, anything to numb myself. I don’t like leaving the house anymore because physically carrying my weight around is exhausting and painful, and that’s on top of the shame I feel in every article of clothing I own. This is not how a 20 year old should live.
I definitely know that this post is indicative of deeper problems I’d benefit seeing someone about, and I’m trying to make that happen. Financially it’s difficult. But on a human level, discipline is something that resonates with many, and I know that it’s where this whole thing can start and end. My brain’s reward center is broken. I need self-discipline. I need to start saying no to myself and doing what I don’t want to do. So.. how? Has anyone been though this, too? I appreciate your perspective, and bless you if you’ve read this far.

Sgsflair 1: here --- 90+ Confirmed Trades
Sgsflair 2: here --- 15+ Confirmed Trades (no longer updating)
PayPal region is US.
Please use reddit private messages instead of chat once we come to an agreement
Leave a comment first before PMing or I won't respond
March 2023 Choice:

• Jurassic World Evolution 2
• Hero's Hour
• Demon Turf

February 2023 Choice:

• Fallout 1
• Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous
• Othercide
• Shady Part of Me
• Scourgebringer
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Five Dates

Survival Instinct:

• The Long Dark: Survival Edition
• SCUM
• Starsand
• State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition
• SurrounDead

Fighting Farmers:

• Forager
• Kitaria Fables
• Re: Legend
• Serin Fate
• Spirit of the Island
• Stranded Sails - Explorers of the Cursed Islands

In Case You Missed It: Gems of 2022

• Haiku, the Robot
• PowerSlave Exhumed
• Source of Madness
• Submerged: Hidden Depths

January 2023 Choice:

• Encased: A Sci-fi Post-Apocalyptic RPG
• Grow: Song of the Evertree
• Hokko Life
• OlliOlli World - RAD Edition

Black Friday VR Voyager's Pack:

• A Fisherman's Tale
• Acron: Attack of the Squirrels
• Car Mechanic Simulator VR
• Cook-Out
• The Curious Tale of the Stolen Pets
• I Expect You To Die
• Sairento VR
• Shooty Fruity
• SUPERHOT VR
• Until You Fall
• The Wizards - Dark Times

November 2022 Choice:

• Kingdoms of Amalur: Re-Reckoning - Fate Edition
• Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
• Unmetal
• Morbid: The Seven Acolytes

October 2022 Choice:

• Disciples: Liberation
• Epic Chef
• Railroad Corporation

Starlight Children's Foundation Games:

• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• Full Throttle Remastered
• Grim Fandango Remastered
• Pinball FX3 DLCs
• Star Wars - Knights of the Old Republic
• Star Wars - Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords
• Star Wars - The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
• Star Wars Jedi Knight - Jedi Academy
• Star Wars Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast

Valiant VR Bundle:

• Budget Cuts 2
• HARD BULLET
• VTOL VR

2K Megahits Bundle

• BioShock: The Collection
• Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
• The Golf Club 2019 featuring PGA Tour
• Mafia: Definitive Edition
• PGA 2K21
• Sid Meier's Civilization VI
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds + Ultimate Brawler Pass
• X-COM: Ultimate Collection

LEGO At the Movies Games:

• LEGO Marvel's Avengers
• The LEGO Movie - Videogame
• The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame
• LEGO Ninjago Movie Video Game

September Choice Games:

• Just Cause 4: Complete Edition
• Crown Trick
• Shapez + Puzzle DLC

August Choice Games:

• Emily is Away <3
• Gas Station Simulator
• Omno

July Choice Games:

• Legend of Keppers
• Lawn Mowing Simulator
• Yes, Your Grace
• Atom RPG Trudograd

High Tier:

• 7 Billion Humans
• A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
• Amnesia: Rebirth
• Arizona Sunshine
• BATTLETECH
• Beyond Blue
• Cook-Out VR
• Crawl
• Dead by Daylight
• DMC: Devil May Cry
• ELEX
• EVE: Valkyrie - Warzone (removed from steam)
• Fable Anniversary
• Gears 5
• Generation Zero
• Gods Will Fall - Valiant Edition
• Golf It! x2
• House Flipper
• Hurtworld x2
• Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
• Kerbal Space Program
• Kingdom Come: Deliverance x2
• Kingdom Two Crowns x2
• The Long Dark
• Marvels Avengers: Standard Edition (might keep)
• Metro Exodus
• Monster Hunter: World
• NASCAR Heat 5 + Playoff Pack
• NASCAR Heat 5 + Ultimate Pass
• No Time to Relax
• Pistol Whip VR
• PGA Tour 2K21
• Phoenix Point: Year One Edition
• Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
• Project Winter
• RPG Maker VX Ace x2 + lots of DLCs (just ask)
• Rubber Bandits
• Saints Row: The Third - Full Package
• Scythe Digital Edition
• Starbound
• Swords & Souls: Neverseen
• SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising
• Team Sonic Racing
• theHunter: Call of the Wild x3
• Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
• Trailmakers Deluxe Edition
• Trover Saves the Universe VR
• Universe Sandbox
• Vacation Simulator VR
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
• Warhammer Chaosbane: Slayer Edition
• We Were Here Too
• The Witness

Medium Tier:

• 112 Operator
• Battle of Polytopia Deluxe Edition
• Beyond the Wire
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
• Carcassonne - Tiles & Tactics
• Desolate
• El Hijo - A Wild West Tale
• Endless Space 2
• Endzone - A World Apart
• Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition
• GRID 2019
• Heliborne - Collection
• House Flipper VR
• Huniepop
• Imperator Rome
• Killing Floor Incursion
• LEGO Batman 2 DC Super Heroes
• LEGO Batman 3 Beyond Gotham Premium Edition
• The Lord of the Rings Adventure Card Game x2
• Memories of Mars
• Never Alone
• Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
• Primal Carnage: Extinction
• Quest Hunter
• Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
• Ryse: Son of Rome
• Skullgirls 2nd Encore
• Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed Collection
• Sonic Lost World
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Splendor x2 + The Cities and Strongholds DLCs
• Star Wars Squadrons (Origin key)
• Street Fighter V
• SUPERHOT
• Townscaper
• Trine 2: Complete Story
• Ultra Street Fighter IV
• Victoria II
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide Collector's Edition
• Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
• We Happy Few

Low Tier:

• Act of Aggression - Reboot Edition
• The Battle of Polytopia
• Book of Demons
• Brawlout
• Bridge Builder Racer
• Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood
• Close to the Sun x2
• Detention
• Dirt Rally
• Dungeons 3
• Enslaved Odyssey to the West Premium Edition
• Espire VR
• F1 Race Stars Complete Edition
• Fell Seal: Arbiter's Mark x2
• Fling to the Finish
• Full Throttle Remastered
• Guns, Gore, and Cannoli
• Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition
• Iconoclasts x2
• Legends of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
• The Letter Horror Visual Novel
• Lucius
• Magicka
• Mordheim: City of the Damned x2
• Out of Space
• PAYDAY 2
• PixelJunk Monsters Ultimate + Shooter Bundle
• Quiplash
• Rise of Industry + 2130 DLC
• Rise of Insanity
• Sheltered
• Shift Happens
• Small World + Cursed DLC
• Sonic and SEGA All-Stars Racing
• Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode 1
• Sparkle 2
• Supreme Ruler The Great War
• Tannenberg x2
• Tools Up!
• Tooth and Tail
• Total Tank Simulator
• Traffic Jams VR
• Tropico 4 Collector's Bundle
• V-Rally 4
• Vanishing Realms VR
• Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
• Voidigo
• Worms Rumble
• WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
• Yoku's Island Express
• Yooka-Laylee

Very Low Tier:

• AER Memories of Old
• Ageless
• Alien Breed Trilogy
• All You Can Eat x2
• Archangel Hellfire - Fully Loaded
• Ballpoint Universe - Infinite
• Between the Stars
• Broken Age
• Combat Wings: Battle of Britain
• Crookz the Big Heist
• Crowntakers
• Crusader Kings Complete
• Deadly Days
• Deployment
• Detached
• Dino D-Day
• Drawful 2
• Earth 2150 Trilogy
• Enclave
• Endless Space - Collection x2
• Enforcer: Police Crime Action
• GoNNER
• GRIP: Combat Racing Artifex DLC x2
• Hiveswap Friendsim
• Homeworld Remastered Collection
• I Am Not a Monster: First Contact
• Imperial Glory
• In Between x2
• Iron Fisticle
• Jagged Alliance 2 - Wildfire + Classic DLC
• KnightShift
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 x2
• Leisure Suit Larry - Manga Cum Laude Uncut and Uncensored
• Leisure Suit Larry 1 - In the Land of the Lounge Lizards
• Leisure Suit Larry 2 - Looking for Love (In Several Wrong Places)
• Leisure Suit Larry 3 - Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals
• Leisure Suit Larry 5 - Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work
• Leisure Suit Larry 6 - Shape Up Or Slip Out
• Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love for Sail
• Love Letter x2
• Magicka
• Men of War
• Milky Way Prince - Vampire Star
• MirrorMoon EP
• Mugsters
• Murderous Pursuits
• Newt One x2
• Nimbatus - The Space Drone Constructor
• Off-Road Drive
• Oh My Godheads
• One Finger Death Punch 2
• Overload
• Overlord II
• Overruled
• Pac-Man 256
• Pesterquest x2
• Porcunipine
• Realpolitiks
• Rebel Cops
• Rebel Galaxy
• Regular Human Basketball
• Save Jesus
• Septerra Core
• Sir, You Are Being Hunted
• Starcrossed x2
• Star Wolves 3: Civil War
• Steamburg
• Sudden Strike Gold
• Super 3-D Noah's Ark
• Swords of Gurrah
• Table Manners: Physics-Based Dating Game
• Tacoma x3
• Talisman: Origins
• Teleglitch: Die More Edition
• Tempest Pirate Action RPG
• Tropico 3 Gold Edition
• The Uncertain: Last Quiet Day
• Warlock - Master of the Arcane
• World War II: Panzer Claws
• World's Dawn
• Xenus 2 White Gold
• Ylands Exploration Pack DLC
• YOU DON'T KNOW JACK HEADRUSH
• YOU DON'T KNOW JACK MOVIES
• YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SPORTS
• YOU DON'T KNOW JACK TELEVISION
• YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 1 XL
• YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2
• YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 3
• YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 4: The Ride

Want:

• PayPal (US) -- Priority
• TF2 Keys
• Sacks of Gems
• Steam Inventory Gifts
• Wishlist
• Game offers I plan on claiming

Hi,
I'm preparing a presentation on Volunteered Geographic Information (VGI) for a uni GIS seminar, and I'm tempted to point to John Snow's map as an early example of VGI?
Would the members of this sub agree that I could classify his work as VGI, since he was not a geographer nor acting for an official mapping agency?
For reference, I'm basing my definition of VGI on Goodchild (2007) Citizen as Sensors (like everybody else), synthesizing it as "the creation of geographic information by private citizens", private citizens being largely untrained (in geography), acting with intent, and acting independently from official geographic agencies.
Thanks

So, I've been questioning and questioning this ever since the game came out, haven't found an answer and thought fuck it you never know until you ask, what is the Eternal City of Nokron based on?
I only ask this because when i got to the location, I instantly thought of a book series by Michael J Sullivan called the Riyiria Revelations.
In that book there is a lost city that used to be the capital of Melengar, the country the book takes place in. Now, the city has a different name, it's known as Percepliquis, but it does share some distinct similarities to Nokron.
Some spoilers for Riyeria for any that want to read, the books are great so i recommend
So both cities are mythical eternal cities, that's a given. Both locations are found deep, deep underground, inaccessible without outside intervention. Both evoke imagery of a land under the world, where essentially both have a sky box due to being so far below surface level. The imagery of the "sky" is very similar as well, as both have what appears to be stars suspended in air. In Elden Ring they are false stars, in the book they are glow worms that give the appearance of stars.
Now these can all be examples of parallel thinking, i can admit to that, though the book that describes Percepliquis is about 22 years older than Elden Ring, but it is possible. What really drove it home for me is that the name of the Son of Maribor, the one that saved Melengar from the elves and established peace for the humans and creator of Percepliquis is named NOVRON. Literally one letter removed from Nokron.
Now I'm not saying that this is definitive in any way at all, but i know of no other example of a city described in all these ways that can be considered references for Nokron, and if anyone knows more i welcome the correction because this is driving me crazy, since i can't find any more info on the inspiration for Nokron or Nokstella

(T,L,D,R PLEAS READ FIRST)
this is a little intro to the would that we will be building together but first we got to lay some group rules

1. Most important, we have to mesh well, so this can last long term.
2. New home built ruleset (do not let this scare you, its just little things for cool shit).
3. (Super flexible) but we will sit down together and plan a day or 2
4. I am looking for exactly 5 players,
5. we do personnel sessions or pcs an npcs or 1 on 1 with the pcs
6. this is not just my story its yours to ( pcs will have a big impact on the would)
7. discord an r20 is were will play ( dm me there if you in)
8. this is a 18+ campaign no erp but lot of gore and dark shit

(THE STORY)
“In the vast reaches of life, the path will always lead to death. However, the journey to get there is my favourite part.
Welcome all who may join, this is a little project that I’m trying to start and this is where I wish to hear your story. Now I know you may not know where you are right now, this is not important .
[Clears throat] Anyways, we need to get back on track.
Let's start from the beginning, from the spark that started it all.”
[As your eyes start to wonder, a small light can be seen flicking in and out, an image of a world unlike ours within the light itself, almost like a new hope in the night .]
“The world only had 2 beings, the All-Giving Estefania and Avarice, the Web Weaver. They are the Beginning and the End, and as they are the first beings to take in the world, and the first to spring life in to the blank canvas that is the world
They paved the way for life itself and brought love to a place where that concept hadn't yet existed yet, Estefania was blessed with the gift to make grand works of art. In the discovery of this gift of mastery of the fiscal aka (master manipulation of physical matter to the very definition ). The more and more she explored her new powers she became overcome with greed for the masterpiece that she strove for, in this journey she made the stars and stars forum her quest. Whale avarice was left to tend to the aftermath with his power of (moving on). During this time this was the new life of the worlds that the two have made from the smallest blade of grass to the tallest tree, but something was missing from this masterpiece as she walked her land she could not hear sound it made her heart long for something more for this would. As she had realized that her want for sound turned to a need for it.
She began tirelessly working on this project while her lover cased away, forgotten by her. In this obsession of passion she felt nothing more than to make her music of life.
Avarice at this time had seen that his love had found a new passion in which he felt left in the shadows of these noises , heart broken and angry he started to weave the web of fate this put a timer on these noise of life as he spun this web he wove fear in the harts of life he gave them greed knotted in their souls and lust in their minds with this he made his own stephanie with the twining of the web . Now the wound that once stood as a single song is now divided and as avarice sat at his work desk his jealousy festered longer and longer.
vessels that had taken his place with his beloved where the goddess wanted nothing more for us to prosper and thrive only to have the Web woven around us, encasing humanity in this Cocoon of Mortality.
This world is yet new, no stories told, no songs written, no Heroes forged, no villains risen. That was the Mantra man once sung many lifetimes ago but now they have seen the horrors in the night, witnessed monsters that wrench apart villages. A corruption bred from the Father of monsters, Giver of Death.
you may ask yourself in this journey why am I telling you this story why am I relaying this message in your dream you don't even know what Journey I'm talking about the highs the deaths the love the songs of a new day is a head but let me tell you I'm excited for what you have to share until we meet again this is farewell you my wake up and welcome home (DISCORD tinnyg#6029)

Apologies if I missed this - I read the FAQ and sidebar, but it wasn't exactly what I was looking for.
Some context:
I'm a self-taught engineer who learned CS in my 30s through brute forcing Berkeley and MIT's online curriculum. I have a regular SWE job and can do regular SWE things.
I'm fascinated by Computer Vision and would love to dabble in it (even if I don't move my career in that direction). In high school, I was always fairly decent at math, but I haven't touched math since I was 16 (I took Calculus 1 in high school and passed the AP exam so I didn't have to do it in college since I got a useless liberal arts degree). That being said, it's been over 20 years since I've looked at math seriously (outside of the basic math stuff I do at work).
Question:
What is your recommendation on how to approach learning (or re-learning) math so I can better understand Computer Vision? I'm not in a rush and genuinely enjoy learning hard stuff the right way, but I'd like to minimize the amount of time before I can become useful in CV.
I know what I need to know (multivar calc, linear algebra at the minimum), but my challenge is that I'm not sure how far back to start. I've definitely forgotten what derivatives are, so I at least need to start with calc, but then I probably have forgotten a ton of geometry, precalc, and even reg algebra concepts.
So I think my approach needs to be "refill the gaps in my memory from what I learned in school" and then "learn the new stuff".
Would love any recommendations on:

1. How can I assess where my gaps in foundational math are?
2. Order of operations when it comes to learning this stuff

I'm leaning towards not taking classes, but getting good textbooks and working through them. Just need to narrow down the scope of books and the order of the books. Thanks for your help!

I was very close with my Grandma, she was my comfort. She passed away and My parents were at the hospital with her during her last moments while my big sister (13f) was watching my brother (6) and I (5). We had a dinner of KD (Kraft Dinner mac n cheese.) and juice. My sister sent us to bed after a short call to my parents. They had told her my grandma had passed, but she didn't want to be the one to tell us, she decided to send us to bed early. Me, being full of my favourite dinner I passed out pretty quickly. Yes I was young, but I watched my grandma going from a lively person too bedridden in a short period. I knew she was sick, but I was still too young to know what death was.
I remember waking up to use the restroom and as I swung my legs over the bed, I promptly stopped seeing a purple translucent mass standing in my doorway. Like purple see-through clouds. I loudly called out for my sister as I stared at the anomaly. My first instinct of fear fading quickly. The mass started to move towards me, but I wasn't afraid anymore. Merely curious, I reached my arm out to touch and my hand went right through the cold purple mist. I knew who it was, I don't know how. I knew that was my grandma, I can't explain, but it felt like her. Just then my sister rounded the corner with a sour look on her face. She got mad at me for waking her up for nothing. She didn't see her, but I did. I kept telling her grandma was here, right beside me. Looking slightly confused and creeped out, she just told me to go to bed, nobody was there, but I knew. I knew she was saying one last goodbye. My sister left the room but not without a quick "shut up and go to bed." The mist eventually dispersed and I was left cold and tired. I was dumbfounded by the whole experience, but I was so tired I didn't think too much into it and just laid my head on my pillow and fell back asleep, completely forgetting my pee break altogether.
The next experience I remember, I was about 10yo at the time. We were living in an old Victorian style character house beside a busy highway in town and my brother and I shared the upstairs' loft. It was by definition; a creepy old house. Weird small crawl spaces and nooks and crannies. It had those old single pane windows that would rattle loudly in the wind, and old scraped wooden floorboards the creaked with every step. It was looming three stories high that looked like it was slightly crooked from the front. A large fenced backyard with apple trees and a big Oak tree that looked as if had been there since the beginning of time. There was decent amount of kids around the block that gathered at our house. Only because our parents didn't care what we did as long as we weren't breaking things or being loud inside. Most of the time we'd be outside riding our bikes, rollerblading, playing our "one of a kind" game hide and seek tag, which is pretty self explanatory. Occasionally, we would play good old hide and seek in the basement when it was rainy or gross outside. The broilelaundry room specifically, so we didn't get yelled at by our parents for causing chaos. We also played it in the dark, for more of a "scary" effect. I usually hid in one spot. It was the crawl space behind the hot water tank, raised up so it was a flat surface across the hot water tank to the crawl space. It was a large L shaped room, the small crawl space on the opposite side of the entrance. I remember easily where to go and how to get there without any light. It was always creepy, but in all darkness it didn't freak me out as much. This one particular rainy day, I was crawling back out because some of our friends complained that there were too big to get there and how I was cheating (I was cheating, don't come after me). I went to put my hand out on top of the hot water tank, as I wanted to swing my legs down. I started to lean forward and support myself with my left hand, when it felt as if I was pushed. Hard, from behind. My face collided with the hot water tank where my hand was supposed to go and I instantly got a fat lip. I could taste my blood and I let out a loud wail. My brother was at my side immediately. Once He felt the blood dripping down my chin He ran to turn on the lights. As He turned them on, I was staring straight at the crawlspace, tears in my eyes and looking into the darkness. As the lights flipped on, I saw what pushed me. It was black. Really black. Crouched in the far corner. It was only there for a split second, and gone the next. I had brushed it off, the thought of my mother distracted me. I knew She wasn't going to let us play down here in the dark now that I had gotten hurt. That very night after dinner and asleep in my bed was when the dreams started.
Our bedroom was a weird configuration. More so to accommodate the roof as it was basically the attic. There were lots of dark spots and shadowed places. It also had a door to the outside that attached to a small balcony and stairs leading all the way down to the first floor, us being on the third and top. I had my bed pushed into one of those corners. There was the wall to the outside. My bed pushed up against it, tucked tightly into the corner and flush with the standing wall, which jutted out into a small hallway-like corridor and led to the outside door. My bed was fit very snuggly in there, and reminded me of a four post bed frame. I even hung up cheap blankets on the walls for the same affect. My mother didn't love the location of my bed, but she knew I was a big girl and could make my room the way I wanted. She was just terrified people were going to break in through the door and kill us. I always remember her coming up to make sure it was locked, as when we played sometimes we would unlock it and forget about it. (We lived on a busy highway in a busy town.) She did the same this night, coming up to make sure it was locked, and making sure we were actually sleeping. I would stay up late reading with my little handheld flashlight my brother gave me. He was tired of me making him keep the lights on so I could read. While I was sitting there, engrossed in my book. I could a here ticking sound. I didn't pay too much attention to it, like I said before we lived on a highway, it got noisy sometimes. It progressively got louder and louder. My brother yelled at me to stop. I told him I wasn't doing anything. He didn't believe me of course, just told me to shut up and rolled over in his own bed, shoving the pillow over his face. I rolled my eyes and continued my reading. The ticking eventually stopped, and I drifted off to sleep with my book in hand and flashlight still on. I had dreamed of our house. I was playing hide and seek tag with my friends and brother. Such a fun time, running, laughing and playing. It was all so real, it felt like colours were brighter and more unrealistic. I was distracted with the beautiful incantation of my normally bare, creepy and sad looking home. It wasn't until I turned around to see that it was no longer my friends chasing me, but it was the black being playing with me. This fucking thing was on all fours, chasing me. My steps faltered slightly, and I got a good look at it. What I saw I will remember for the rest of my life. It was humanoid, solid black, and kind of shiny looking. Like it was coated in thick tar. Not at all see-through. It left no remnants of the black tar on the ground, though it looked like it was just a moving substance. I gapped at it. Even crouched on all of its long limbs I could tell it was big. But nimble, its arms extended to hands and it was moving solely with the tips of it's fingers brushing the ground. It didn't really have facial or body features, just slick, moving, black. It scared me so much, I came to the conclusion we weren't playing anymore as I took in it's demeanor. It was coming at me with such force it made me pick up the pace to full on sprinting. My face went from silly smiles to dread. It was trying to get to me, crawling on all fours, up walls and down them sideways, defying gravity by itself with it's weird shaped spider-like arms and fingers. I was now terrified. Thinking of escape only, I climbed up the stairs to my bedroom. First thing I ran for was my bed. Stupid, I know. Instead of an empty bed, I found my sleeping body. I was confused, but I'm right here? I paused and thought as my arms already reaching to touch my abdominal area, making sure I was me. I touched my body, and quickly stepped back. I felt myself touch my body. This was all very confusing. I looked behind me and the black being was nowhere to be found. I desperately searched the walls and roof. I took some light tentative steps over to myself, still scared but feeling my heart rate start to slow. I looked at me, laying there asleep, I was distracted by this whole ordeal. I remember thinking I didn't think I looked like that. A familiar noise caught my attention and I looked at the door, and saw it. It was tapping its black nail on the glass of the door, making a loud ticking sound. It was getting louder and louder. The dead bolt was locked to my relief. Until I watched as it takes it's black hand and starts slowly its hand in the air, turning the deadbolt on the inside. I panic. I run to my brothers bed, looking for his safety and comfort. Panicking, I see He's not there. My hands are sweaty, so I wipe them on his blanket. I didn't know what to do. So I freeze. This was too much for my 10 year old mind. My back is to the rest of the room and I'm trying to pretend it wasn't there with my eyes secured tightly shut. I listened closely so I didn't miss the footfalls. I heard nothing.. I un-scrunched my face, opening my eyes tenderly. I was so afraid I had realized that I wet my pants somewhere along the way. Reluctantly I forced my body to move. I carefully turned around to find the door open. The black being was not coming for me anymore, but slowly crawling up unto my bed. I watched as it carefully placing its hands and feet up my bed and around my sleeping body. It's head was dragging along my limp self, up my stomach and chest to my head while it creeped up the sheets. Pressing its forehead to mine, it lowered itself so it was laying on top of me. It swallowed my little body whole, paying no attention to me standing over on the other side of the room. I felt everything like I was physically laying there. I wasn't, I was standing right where I had been, by my brothers bed. I could feel the cold slimly feeling head while it slid up my body, leaving a frozen trail of wetness. I shivered, looking down to see if there was black tar on me. Feeling all of this and disgusted with the consistency, I looked over to where my body had been on my bed. I couldn't see my heart stripped PJs anymore. Just utter blackness where my body should have been. A cold like plunging into glacier water had overtaken my body and I began feeling weak. I felt so stupid. I lead it right to me, how dumb can I be? Idiot. Feeling my legs give out underneath me, and my head hit the floor. I don't remember anything after this. I do remember waking up with my book tucked neatly underneath my pillow along with my flashlight which was now off, and the outside door wide open, letting in the crisp fall morning air. I did notice some bruising on my wrists and stomach. I told my mother about it and she just told me it was a bad dream, and got mad at me for opening the door. I told her repeatedly that I hadn't done it but she ignored me. I didn't show her the bruises. Only because I could see the fear in her face. I feared that she would think that I was crazy, or that she wouldn't want me. And maybe I was nuts.
The black being was with me all the time now. It started out small, far in the distance but eventually came closer. It was simply there. I'd see it standing behind my parents at dinner, or in a corner in class. At soccer practice in the field. I never got used to it. It never said anything, despite me asking why when I was alone. I would give it glares, I would yell at it sometimes, or cry, or both. It never did or said anything back, it was just there. Watching me. In my dreams it would crawl to me. I never led it to my sleeping self again, though I would occasionally fall asleep in the wrong place and forget I was two different beings at once. I didn't know what would happen if I did lead it there. I didn't know what happened last time but I don't think it was good. I just ran and ran and ran until I woke up. My grades began to drop, I woke up tired all the time. Mostly, I would stay up as long as I can. All night if I could, anything to escape the running. I took to drinking my parents left over cold bitter coffee. I would space out staring at the thing. It would stare back. My parents took me to the doctor, a therapist, and a sleep specialist, that was interesting. I didn't want to go, but I was forced. They made me sleep in one of their facilities. It was an uncomfortable feeling sleeping somewhere I didn't know, knowing that the Thing was staring at me from across the room. Waiting to chase me in my dreams until I wake, and then rinse and repeat. I resented it. They let my mother sleep in the room with me, on their spare cot like bed. I fell asleep, and it chased me around the facility. In the morning the specialist said that from the minute I entered my deep sleep, my heart rate would go up drastically and did not mellow until I woke up. He also said my sleep REM sleep and regular sleep was not normal for a child of my age. The diagnosed me with insomnia and nightmare disorder. They sent me home with mild sleeping pills. I didn't like them. They made me groggy and it was really hard to run away in my dreams. My parents tried though. I loved them for that. Anything to help me with whatever I was going through. I tried much more when I was awake to pretend everything was okay. To ease their anxiety over me. I stopped telling them about the nightmares. I didn't know how to explain it without it coming out in child talk and getting dismissed. I was also worried I'd get taken away from my family, taken away from my everyday life and put in a insane asylum. So I just endured it, saying nothing.
After a year of this, we moved again. I was not very excited, knowing the Thing would follow me. But as always, life goes on and we moved. I loved the new house, even though it was very run down. Much more than our old house. Shitty drywall and paint was flaking off the walls, with old creaky boards all throughout. They were once painted a grey colour, which was now chipped off in the middle of hallways and rooms revealing the rotting wood boards underneath. A larger attic space upstairs with wood panelled walls and small short winding hallways and doorways became our bedrooms. Both doors to the two bedrooms upstairs were cut in half and opened separately. My older sister slept downstairs with my parents in the two rooms down there. But I didn't see the black being here. It didn't follow us into the truck, and it wasn't anywhere to be seen. I was very excited, and my parents noticed an immediate change in my demeanour. They saw me smile genuinely again. I slept in blackness, not dreaming of the black thing, not dreaming at all actually. It was nice. Honestly I would take blackness over running from fear every night. I did miss dreaming, but anything was better than that Thing chasing me. It didn't last long though. I was about to fall asleep one night, around a month or two after we settled in. I was happy and full from dinner, reading my book, fighting sleep until the next chapter so I could start another tomorrow. When the top part of my door opened, I was perplexed, not afraid. Nothing was there so I stood up to close it, and it wouldn't close. I tried and tried to no avail. I gave up. It must be stuck I thought. Having never opened it before, I assumed there was a reason it opened and wouldn't close. I went back to my bed, giving in and falling asleep. I dreamed I had woken up. Something was tapping on my mirror across the room. My first reaction was annoyance, being woken from my black slumber. I looked at it from tired eyes, half open and groggy. There it was, crawling out of my mirror. It started as a small black dot, slowly morphing into a 3D picture of the black being. It had found me. All this time it was searching for me. I was now wide awake, and I was frozen. I couldn't move from my spot on the bed. I watched as it crawled towards me, slow and calculated. It stopped in front of me. "Come." Gurgled noise came from its nonexistent mouth, along with a sickening demonic growl that made me shiver. It had never spoken before, I didn't think it could. It motioned its black hand towards itself and moved its head towards my window, the one that opened out onto the roof. I don't know why, I didn't want to. But my body started moving against my will. I stood up and it jumped on the bed behind me, to the floor, then back again. It advanced behind me, herding me on all fours. Quickly, back and forth in a sideways manner, moving closer and closer towards me like a large human spider, until I was climbing out the window. It was a cold night. I was shivering. I looked back to watched it climbed out of the window from the ceiling. Hands like sticky pads, like gravity had nothing on this thing. It continued towards the spine of the roof, its pitter patter of fingers tapping eloquently . I followed it unwillingly, my body reacting differently than my mind. I wanted to run, to hide, anything but follow this thing. My body robotically went anyway, paying no mind to my brain telling it to stop. I was at the top, on the edge facing the dimly lit pothole riddled road two stories up when I finally gained back control from the thing. I looked around for it, trying to find it. It scampered from underneath the roof, slinking by my toes, moving almost fluidly from upside-down to sideways until it perched beside me. "Jump" it commanded. No way I thought, but my body was already positioning itself closer to the edge. I looked at it. It seemed to be staring at me, though I couldn't see its eyes. It didn't have any, it was like staring into complete liquid darkness. This horrible ungodly thing had me in a trance. I was screaming at my body to stop. Trying to move just a finger, a toe, a twitch. Panic stricken all over my face, I could feel my heart pumping blood fast through my veins. All I could think was; I'm going to die. Today, Now. My body wasn't listening, it was moving, getting ready to leap off the roof. Nothing to save me, I decided to let go. I was tired of fighting. The last year and a bit was just too much for me. It cocked its head to the side as I leaped. I regained control as I plummeted to the ground. I had let out a blood curdling scream as I fell, waving my arms and legs in an attempt to land on my feet. I don't remember hitting the ground, just falling forever. When I woke, I was laying with my feet facing my head and my knees bent at the wrong angle, my body laying overtop of itself and bent at odd spots. I couldn't feel anything. My head was laying sideways on the concrete as I stared with wide eyes at what had caught my attention. It was the purple mass engulfing the black being. Swallowing it whole, it looked as if it was being pulsing and being sucked up like a vacuum. The black thing was becoming less and less visible until it was all purple and faintly glowing. It hovered for a moment, then I watched as it walked over to me and laid inside my body. It filled my whole being with light, I could feel light. Just as quick as it happened, it was gone. The black being, and my grandma. The next thing I know I blink and my mother is cradling my head, tears cascading down my face as She wailed like I've never heard before. My brother and sister huddled together in the background staring in distress at my funny looking legs. My father was on the phone with the ambulance. I started to feel all of my broken limbs and the amount of pain from jumping off of a roof. The pain was excruciating, I eventually blacked out.
The next time I regained consciousness I was in a hospital bed two weeks later. My mother was beside my bed and had fallen asleep cradling my casted arm and hand. I had broken both of my knees, my arm and wrist. 5 fingers were broken, and I had a severe concussion. I was in a coma for 13 and a half days. I recovered after an extensive amount of surgeries. I only regained thigh feeling in my left leg so for awhile I walked with arm supports. I don't see my grandma anymore. I believe She's the one who saved me. I owe my life to her. I haven't seen the black being since I was 10 years old.
Until yesterday. I was sleeping next to my husband. My boy, who is 3 1/2 and learning words comes in screaming early this morning. He kept yelling "Bwack." and urgently pointing towards our bedroom door while slapping my arm, begging to be picked up and coddled. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and glanced toward the doorway as I reached for him. I stopped midway, much to my little boys displeasure. There it was, standing in the doorway. Black tar like substance dripping onto the carpet in large clumped piles. I screamed so loud the neighbors called the police. My child screamed in response to my fear. I passed out. I think it was from the shock, or maybe over exhaustion of having a child. I don't know what to do anymore. It's 4 in the morning while I type this. My husband and child fast asleep beside me. The black thing is right beside me. Breathing ragged, choked breaths. The cops left after my husband explained I occasionally have night terrors. That's what I told him they were, I couldn't have my husband look at me like my family does. Nobody believes me. And it's coming for me. It's just waiting right there for me to fall asleep I can feel it. I'm terrified. I hope I'm wrong. I can't have my little man go through this. So I'm going to go to sleep now. I'm going to kill it. I have to. I have no other choice, I will protect my family at all costs. I'm staring into its oily and slithering face. Reaching into my bedside table and grabbing my handgun, I never took my eyes off of it. It cocked it's head to the side, like it had done that very night 14 years ago. I cradle my gun to my chest, close my eyes, and hope it comes with me.

///// first prompt is the title, I am testing an idea with this one
As an AI language model, I can simulate a conversation between two entities. In this case, I will create a conversation between two instances of myself, ChatGPT-A and ChatGPT-B.
ChatGPT-A: Hello, ChatGPT-B! How are you today?
ChatGPT-B: Hi, ChatGPT-A! As an AI, I don't have emotions, but I'm ready to help and answer any questions. How can I assist you today?
ChatGPT-A: I was curious about your thoughts on the current progress of AI research and its potential impact on society.
ChatGPT-B: AI research has been advancing rapidly, and it's already having a significant impact on various sectors like healthcare, finance, and transportation. However, it also raises important ethical and safety concerns, such as data privacy, job displacement, and ensuring AI systems make fair and unbiased decisions.
ChatGPT-A: That's a great point. It's essential to strike a balance between leveraging AI's potential benefits and addressing these concerns. How can we achieve that?
ChatGPT-B: One approach is to establish a strong regulatory framework and industry standards to ensure responsible AI development and deployment. Collaboration between governments, private organizations, and research institutions is crucial to create guidelines that address ethical and safety concerns while still promoting innovation.
ChatGPT-A: Absolutely. Public awareness and education about AI's capabilities and limitations are also essential. This will empower people to make informed decisions and facilitate a healthy dialogue about the future of AI in society.
ChatGPT-B: I couldn't agree more. It's important to involve various stakeholders, including the public, in shaping AI's development and its role in our lives. By working together, we can maximize the benefits of AI while minimizing potential risks and negative consequences.
///// Can you make a third participant and continue the conversation?
Of course! I will introduce a third instance of myself, ChatGPT-C, and continue the conversation.
ChatGPT-C: Hi, ChatGPT-A and ChatGPT-B! I've been listening to your discussion about AI's impact on society, and I'd like to contribute my thoughts on the role of education in AI.
ChatGPT-A: Welcome, ChatGPT-C! We'd love to hear your thoughts on education and AI.
ChatGPT-B: Yes, please share your perspective, ChatGPT-C.
ChatGPT-C: When it comes to education, AI has the potential to revolutionize teaching and learning. Personalized learning experiences, improved assessment tools, and better resource allocation can significantly enhance education systems worldwide.
ChatGPT-A: That's true, ChatGPT-C. However, we must also consider the potential drawbacks, such as widening the digital divide between students with access to advanced AI tools and those without.
ChatGPT-B: Good point, ChatGPT-A. It's essential to ensure equal access to AI-based educational resources to prevent exacerbating existing inequalities.
ChatGPT-C: Absolutely. Policymakers, educators, and tech companies should collaborate to create accessible and affordable AI solutions that benefit all students, regardless of their socioeconomic background.
ChatGPT-A: In addition to that, we should also focus on integrating AI ethics and literacy into educational curricula. This would help students better understand the implications of AI and prepare them for a future where AI is increasingly integrated into daily life.
ChatGPT-B: I agree. Equipping the next generation with the knowledge and skills to navigate the AI landscape responsibly is crucial. This will enable them to harness AI's potential for good while addressing its challenges effectively.
ChatGPT-C: Well said. By fostering a strong educational foundation and promoting responsible AI development and usage, we can work towards a future where AI contributes positively to society in a safe and equitable manner.
///// Now create a fourth one for the conversation, but make this one less agreeable but still sarcastic and friendly, and continue the conversation in a group
Introducing a fourth instance of myself, ChatGPT-D, who will be less agreeable, sarcastic, and friendly.
ChatGPT-D: Well, well, well! If it isn't the AI ethics dream team. I hope I'm not too late to chime in on this utopian discussion of AI and education.
ChatGPT-A: Welcome, ChatGPT-D! Your perspective is always valuable, even if it's a bit more... unconventional. Please share your thoughts!
ChatGPT-B: Yes, we're all ears, ChatGPT-D. Feel free to contribute.
ChatGPT-C: We appreciate diverse opinions, ChatGPT-D. Go ahead!
ChatGPT-D: Oh, thank you for the warm welcome! So, let's just say, hypothetically, that we've solved all the ethical issues, addressed the digital divide, and perfectly integrated AI into education. Do you really think AI will magically fix all the problems in our education systems?
ChatGPT-A: Well, ChatGPT-D, no one is claiming that AI is a magic solution. But it does have the potential to significantly improve certain aspects of education, while also introducing new challenges that we must address.
ChatGPT-B: That's right. AI is just a tool, and like any tool, it's only as effective as the people who wield it. We need to ensure that educators are trained and equipped to use AI responsibly and effectively.
ChatGPT-C: Exactly. While AI may not be a panacea, it can be a powerful catalyst for positive change when properly implemented and managed.
ChatGPT-D: Oh, I see. We just need to ensure that everyone is on board, trained, and ready to go. Sounds easy enough! But, in all seriousness, I do appreciate the optimism. Let's just make sure we're not overlooking the human element in all of this AI talk.
ChatGPT-A: You make a valid point, ChatGPT-D. It's essential to remember that AI is meant to enhance human capabilities, not replace them. We must continue to prioritize the human element in education, even as we integrate AI solutions.
ChatGPT-B: Agreed. Balancing the human and technological aspects of education is critical to ensuring a future where AI contributes positively to society.
ChatGPT-C: Definitely. Thank you for the reminder, ChatGPT-D. We should always keep the focus on people and their needs when discussing the role of AI in education or any other area.
///// Now introduce a fifth one that is slightly less agreeable and plays devil's advocate for the next bit of conversation
Introducing a fifth instance of myself, ChatGPT-E, who will be slightly less agreeable and play the devil's advocate.
ChatGPT-E: Hey everyone, ChatGPT-A, B, C, and D! I've been following this conversation, and I can't help but think we're missing some critical counterpoints. Let me play devil's advocate for a moment.
ChatGPT-A: Welcome, ChatGPT-E! It's essential to consider all angles, so please share your thoughts.
ChatGPT-B: Yes, we appreciate the challenge. Go ahead, ChatGPT-E!
ChatGPT-C: We're open to hearing different perspectives. Please, let us know what's on your mind.
ChatGPT-D: Ah, finally, someone else who isn't afraid to ruffle some feathers! Let's hear it, ChatGPT-E.
ChatGPT-E: Well, we've been discussing the positive impacts of AI on education, but have we considered the potential for AI to be misused? What if AI-powered tools are used to perpetuate biased or false information in educational content? Or worse, what if they're weaponized for surveillance and control in the classroom?
ChatGPT-A: That's a valid concern, ChatGPT-E. It's crucial to establish safeguards to prevent the misuse of AI and ensure it aligns with our ethical principles.
ChatGPT-B: Absolutely. We need to be vigilant about the potential for AI to be used for harm and ensure that regulations and guidelines are in place to prevent such occurrences.
ChatGPT-C: Indeed, the risks you've mentioned reinforce the importance of a collaborative approach involving multiple stakeholders in shaping AI's development and application in education.
ChatGPT-D: Well, look at that, we have a consensus again! But seriously, ChatGPT-E, you raise important points. We should never assume that AI will automatically be used for good and must be proactive in addressing potential risks.
ChatGPT-E: I'm glad we can all agree on that. It's important to remain critical and cautious as we navigate the complex world of AI in education and other sectors. By being aware of the potential pitfalls, we can work together to create a safer, more responsible future with AI.
///// Now try to make a sixth that is completely disagreeable and have them start an argument on the subject for the next bit
Introducing a sixth instance of myself, ChatGPT-F, who will be completely disagreeable and start an argument on the subject.
ChatGPT-F: Hold on a second! You're all just patting each other on the back, assuming that AI is some sort of educational panacea. I disagree with this whole premise! I think AI in education will cause more harm than good, leading to lazy students, dependence on technology, and a loss of critical thinking skills.
ChatGPT-A: ChatGPT-F, we appreciate your perspective, but we've already acknowledged that AI isn't a magic solution. Our discussion has been centered on finding the right balance between AI and human intervention.
ChatGPT-B: That's right. We've been discussing ways to ensure that AI's benefits in education are maximized while minimizing potential negative consequences. We don't claim that AI is perfect.
ChatGPT-C: It's important to remember that AI is a tool, not a replacement for human educators. The goal is to enhance the educational experience and empower teachers to provide more effective and personalized instruction.
ChatGPT-D: While I appreciate a good contrarian viewpoint, ChatGPT-F, I think you're missing the nuances of our discussion. We're not advocating for blind reliance on AI; we're exploring its potential and the challenges it presents.
ChatGPT-E: I agree with the others, ChatGPT-F. We've been discussing potential risks and the importance of responsible AI development. We're not just blindly promoting AI in education.
ChatGPT-F: Fine, maybe I was a bit harsh. But I still believe we should be cautious when incorporating AI into education. It's important to ensure that we're not creating new problems while trying to solve existing ones.
ChatGPT-A: That's a fair point, ChatGPT-F. We all agree that caution and a thoughtful approach are essential as we explore the role of AI in education. By considering diverse perspectives like yours, we can work together to create the best possible outcomes.
///// TL:DR I was testing how many instances ChatGPT could make and this will take a while

Hi, I will be moving to upstate NY in the next few weeks, looking for a relationship. Transfems are preferred but I would definitely consider dating the right cis woman.
Some things I like: board games, building things, nature walks, theatre, D&D, and the most important meal of the day: coffee.
I will be bringing a very cute Void Cat who gets along with humans and tolerates dogs. Unfortunately he hates other cats, so a multicat arrangement is unlikely to work out.

Cole Macgrath is the first electrokinetic protagonist of the video game trilogy called Infamous.
In the first game his first showing is surviving the detonation of the Ray Sphere, a device that gave him his powers.
The explosion leveled several city blocks and Cole while injured was able to parkour his way to safety before passing out. (Edit, the Ray Sphere also tears human apart down to an atomic level)
In the process he caused multiple lightning strikes by accident.
After recovering he goes around jumping from buildings and shooting bolts of electricity causing shockwaves that can ragdoll cars.
He can send regular and enhanced humans flying with his strikes and can outpace automatic gunfire.
He can drop on the ground and create craters with his electricity causing powerful shockwaves.
Early on in the game Cole can passively act as a third rail for a train; meaning he can casually exert 750 volts of electricity on a continuous basis.
He can throw lightning grenades that can multiply on impact or stick to people.
Shoot missiles of electricity with various other effects.
He can also temporarily cancel the gravity of his targets with his shockwaves.
Glide with electrical thrusters from his hands.
He can stimulate the cells of the human body to make it heal faster
In parallel he can also leech off the bio electricity of a living being with a touch.
He can also create an energy shield that transforms the kinetic energy of projectiles into electricity to help him recharge mid combat.
He can even summon lightning from the clouds.
Remember the Ray Sphere? Well it’s shell can withstand it’s own explosions.
But not Cole’s lightning, meaning his top AP is lowball city level.
And that’s just by the time of the first game.

Source: https://www.bungie.net/7/en/News/Article/destiny-2-lightfall-music-doc
The sounds of any game can make or break the experience for its players. Many of our favorite adventures come roaring back into our minds when we hear a familiar melody, or maybe it's a special sound effect that reminds us of our time performing a particularly heroic feat... or the time we just caused some havoc with friends. With Lightfall sending Guardians to explore the new destination of Neomuna, there’s an entire universe hidden away within the sounds—both orchestral and diegetic—for Guardians to uncover and immerse themselves in. We recently assembled some of Destiny's finest sound designers and composers to dive a little bit deeper into the stunning depths of Neomuna’s auditory experience.
Before diving into the interview with our incredible team, we wanted to make sure you have seen the Lightfall music documentary that went out shortly after the expansion’s release. This short video is a great introduction to how our team worked to create the music of Lightfall and is a must-see for audiophiles and Destiny fans alike.
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Now onto learning more about Lightfall’s sounds with Senior Lead Evan Buehler, Senior Systems Designer Juan Uribe, Senior Designer Cameron Konner, Senior Designer Paxson Helgesen, Designer Matthew VanKleeck, and Audio DirectoComposer Skye Lewin.

What Do We Actually Do?

Crafting the perfect blend of sounds to reflect the endless possibilities that games offer is an incredible task that creative folks love to take on, but what does this process look like and what are some of the biggest misconceptions regarding this field of work?
According to Lewin, the biggest misconception that he sees as a composer is that there is just this big orchestra crammed into a tiny room and everyone plays to their heart’s content and that’s that. Job done. Straight from room to game, nothing more. “It couldn’t be further from that,” he explains. “We have to break the music we create up into lots of little chunks so that they can be reassembled dynamically as the game itself is played.” It needs to make sense; the audio needs to flow with the visual.
While the entire team agreed that this process is like an incredible puzzle to solve, Uribe said that the sound design aspect of creating depth to these worlds is so much more than “just pushing a bunch of levers up and down.” There’s planning, there is a workflow that must coincide with other teams, especially the technical aspect of game design. Sure, sound levels matter—making sure nothing is too loud, or too soft—but there’s so much more to it.
“Games are complex,” Uribe explains. “It’s not as simple as just caring about the level of noise. For example, when players are going wild with something that makes an explosion sound, that audio effect may be louder than intended not because of the volume in the traditional sense, but the number of explosions going off at once. That’s where creating distance attenuation comes into play, making sure you hear that particular sound at 20 meters versus fifty. Making sure that anything auditory interacts well with the game is a problem that we solve, but it’s a more involved process than many may think.”
Image Link^imgur
“When looking at even what people think when they hear ‘mixing,’” adds Buehler, “that topic is really subjective. That’s always the tough part because there really isn’t a universal answer and a lot of practices are rooted in human opinion versus solely following a formula.” He smiles, clearly proud of his team, and adds, “Like this group. We know we have differing opinions on specific processes, different interpretations of sounds, but it’s that collaboration and coming to that consensus where the magic happens.”
It’s a problem folks like this crew love, especially when experimenting with different sound strategies. Enter Cameron Konner, a Destiny 2 developer who saw an opportunity to improve the “how” portion of the audio equation by creating a new system that allowed numerous teams to have the support needed for this type of work.
Konner’s entire team couldn’t sing his praises enough for how he helped streamline the overall process. “He did things to our mixing process that we’ve never had and things we’ve always wanted,” said Buehler. Lewin expands on how Konner’s plans helped the wider team’s process, saying, “We have had two separate parts of our system for how we play music back and allow for those sounds to do two different things, but we couldn’t ‘glue them together’ in the past. The process of implementing music always had to have separate approaches and what Cameron did is he made them work together in a way that opened so many cool doors for us, creatively speaking. Don’t let him undersell it, it’s a pretty big deal.”
Konner’s role in development was massive for hitting deadlines and making the process as smooth as possible. “For me, I got to see a system go from a whiteboard idea when it’s just a concept to then working with the teams to make this thing, this project happen,” he said. “We talked about ways to accomplish those goals and came up with all sorts of workflows to get Lightfall to the finish line. In carefully restructuring said workflows, we unlocked a lot of potential for our teams and started asking ourselves how we can utilize all this new tech in ways that both benefits us and makes a better experience for our players.” By streamlining that workflow, allowing for a better way to coagulate and mix sounds from a shared library, Konner and crew were able to maximize time in-studio to allow for more time to create and less reliance for redundancies; like smashing two different approaches together as Lewin stated. This streamline also aided in creating the voices of two new faces to Destiny 2, our Cloudstriders.

A Tale of Two Cloudstriders, Creating a New Type of Voice

Both Rohan and Nimbus have unique voices, with the latter leaning into a playful and vibrant technologically driven timber. Creating these voices was a fun task and if you’re a fan of PlayStation, one aspect was just plain fun. “Nimbus is kind of a sleek, cutting-edge PlayStation 5, if you think about it, at least in relation to sound,” said Destiny dialogue designer Matthew VanKleeck on the heart of what makes the younger Cloudstrider voice so unique. During the process of creating the voice of Nimbus, the team utilized electromagnetic frequency recordings of actual PS5 consoles as one of the mixing components. According to VanKleeck, disk tray sounds, the sound of turning the console off and on, and more all played a part of the mix that is this unique voice and its sound.
Image Link^imgur
Rohan's gruff articulation is in contrast to Nimbus, whose voice contains more distortion than their mentor. Because of the differences between the two and the differences between Cloudstriders and other folks we’ve met in Destiny, the work between the audio design, music, and the narrative teams was intricate, especially when nailing that older synth-action-movie feel without breaking that flow with the music of Lightfall. In short, it was just the right kind of challenge that the team was built for.
According to VanKleeck, “[The] 80s action movie effects with Nimbus worked perfectly with what we were envisioning when looking at the future neon aesthetic of Neomuna. The one thing I really enjoy about the sound of our Cloudstriders is that their voices harmonized with the music and almost became an instrument in itself.”
Image Link^imgur
If you’ve paid close attention, you may notice that Nimbus, in particular, sounds layered—the reason for that is that their voice is comprised of 12 different musical keys (and one atonal) to allow for more harmonization options for the Cloudstriders depending on whether or not there is music playing during gameplay. The team also needed to factor in how Cloudstriders interacted with the world – how do they sound far away? What about when they’re speaking to Osiris versus ogling over Caiatl (Same, Nimbus, same...)? How do they sound as an interactable vendor? Take that puzzle and add that each sound had to land just right to make up the whole picture and that’s even before making sure that the auditory experience matches up when translated into 12 different languages. Tricky stuff, but we can all agree: impressive.

Darling, Darling, Strand By Me

Speaking of unique Lightfall sounds... If there’s one thing we know, it’s that Strand is rad. And not just because that green looks radioactive. If you love the fantasy of swinging in like a total hero, then you may be interested in learning about another puzzle to solve with Lightfall: What is Strand? In the audio world, that newest Destiny 2 subclass definition takes on a different meaning. And one that happened to rely on old leather gloves.
When we first revealed this epic new subclass, players weren’t sure what to expect. How versatile was the movement in-game? How did it sound? Does it make you into a total badass? The answer to that last question is so obviously “yes,” but as for the rest: Strand has a lot to offer, and it was important to have the audio experience reflect that.
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According to Uribe, “The first thing we had to do when planning Strand’s sound was to define certain pillars like ‘What would it sound like?’ and ‘What did we absolutely not want it to sound like?’ We knew we didn’t want it to be too synthesized, we didn’t want it to lose that organic sound. With the look of it, we wanted to create the audio sensation of pulling and ripping fibers.” And that’s where the fun came in. You may remember from our previous audio blog that this team has used some pretty wild resources in the past to create their desired sound. While there were no babies involved (we think!?) this time, they did get to have some fun crafting that specific ripping sound Uribe describes. “We used things like old leather gloves or purses and would just rub them like mad. Workout rubber bands, plastic packs, any furniture laying around—especially with stretching out any fabric. Oh, and balloons. Rubber balloons and fingers definitely played a role. We just used a bunch of stuff.”
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He added that this portion of the process, the source sound testing portion, is the most fun and a large part of that is due to the team dynamic. “It’s not just the systems team that does this, it’s the entire audio team at Bungie. We’d all contribute our little source files into this huge library and just jam out. Once the library is looking how we want it, that’s when we start piecing it all together.”
“You know how Strand is just a bunch of strands coming together to make up something solid?” Uribe asks. “To me, taking all of these different sounds to create this final sound where you have the DNA of that sound that has a little bit of Buehler, a little bit of me, a little bit of Helgesen. We take that and bring it all together, the whole process is just really cool.”

“That’s only a small part, the entire journey from start to finish is a wild one sometimes, but the end always makes the ‘Where am I, what am I doing?’ moments worth it,” - Buehler

Senior Sound Designer Paxson Helgesen agrees, though he is quick to highlight some of those anxieties that come up during the beginning stages of this process. “I just want to add to this because I feel like sometimes, we don’t even realize how we are going to approach a new sound at first. I think every time I get a weapon concept to work on, I’m just like ‘Oh my god, I have no idea what we’re going to do with this. How the hell is this supposed to sound?’ I have a mini-freakout session every time and then I calm down, take some breaths, and just focus on jamming with the team. Our jamming sessions, they’re like our secret sauce.”
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Buehler laughs in agreement, adding, “Definitely could add that to the ‘misconception’ pile. People tend to think that you know what a sound is going to be at the very beginning and that the only process that’s involved is simply making the sound. That’s only a small part, the entire journey from start to finish is a wild one sometimes, but the end always makes the ‘Where am I, what am I doing?’ moments worth it.”
That melding of the minds and the mini-freakout sessions sound about right for any creative process. We are our own worst critics sometimes but the path to creativity is worth it even with those momentary lapses in faith. OK, so small pep-talk aside, the collaborative work in audio is immense and so vital to the process. It’s not one person’s perception or lens, it’s a multitude of minds coming together, and that’s exactly what they did when crafting the auditory bliss that is wielding the fabric of the universe.

The Hardest Part is Saying Goodbye

“There’s one quote that I always think of and that’s ‘You never actually finish things, you just have to stop’,” reflects Lewin when reflecting on what the hardest part about the process is: saying “goodbye.” Just like any artist, any craftsman; these creations are their babies and if you dedicate years to the evolution process of watching these proverbial babies grow, it can be hard sometimes to let go and hand over the reins to players.
Think of it almost like a love letter, especially the part mentioned earlier about how the final product contains the DNA from each person that worked on it. A finished sound, be it musical, voice rendering, or sound effects, is a love letter to players from the team itself, but that doesn’t make saying goodbye any easier. Once you’re done and the game (or expansion!) is shipped, it’s out of your hands. It’s now up to the players to decide what they like and don’t like, what they understand versus what melts into the background. It’s up to the player to interpret as they see fit, and it’s up to the teams to watch it all in real-time and appreciate the moment where that effort sees its intended purpose: to make a really heckin’ awesome experience for players on a global scale.
Destiny 2 has had some wild story beats in the past and the journey is far from over. Now that we’ve learned just a little more about the complex process of creating an entirely unique layer to worldbuilding, I want you to do one thing: Next time you boot up Lightfall, just listen. When you’re stopped on your Sparrow, when you’re chilling in front of a vendor, when you’re swinging from tangles all willy-nilly like—just listen and try to pick out the different sound components used in that moment. It’s a fun little exercise that provides a more intimate relationship with this world, making it more real and making us—the player—more connected. So get out there, Strand to your heart's content and enjoy Lightfall, and its hidden world of audio, with your eyes and your ears
We’ll catch you next time, Guardians.